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Methadone withdrawal day 23...

I know. That's why we need to exercise, get to know different people and work more than ever before. Quality work.

Even that was not enough in the beginning, as I had to find something enjoyable to do with my free time. Certain things are challenging but quite worthy when achieved, simple things like hanging out with healthy people. Being a better father, son, friend.

No sitting and waiting could help any of us in these situations. Once you are clean and get that feeling of freedom this forces you discover will make you want to move on, get stronger. Deal with life's issues including forgiving yourselves. We do it better when we're not alone.
 
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You are going to be okay lynn. Recovery is hard work and takes time. I agree with what nsa said about isolating. Are there any support groups around you that you can visit? Even if you are just there drinking coffee and gripping your seat for dear life, it is worth just being around people that understand you.

Something that worked for me in the first thirty days is just joking around a little. Having a laugh is great. I know it is so hard to laugh, but it is the best medicine. Maybe watch a funny show, or hit up youtube...or play a prank on your husband. Here is a sweet prank. Its called "the soup shower"

what you will need. some beef or chicken bouillon cubes. a shower head that unscrews. and an unwitting participant.

Open your bouillon cubes. Unscrew the head of your shower. put bouillon cubes in the shower head. Replace it. When he showers, the hot water will melt the bouillon in the shower head and pretty much make your "unwitting participant" smell like a pack of ramen noodles. When he comes out of the shower this will be you --->%). If you don't like this prank I can suggest others. Basically, it eats up time that you will be focusing on something proactive (well sortof) and can give you a good laugh (which is sorely needed).

I tore my acl slightly and it never healed right. I have chronic pain from this (made worse by dong chef work for another decade after that on pain meds). I went to a doctor and he gave me naproxin sodium aka alleve. It works to a degree, but I am still in pain sometimes. I take kratom when I need to do something physical because it mitigates some of the pain.
 
Thanks everyone for continuing to support even when I haven't responded. I'm still clean I'm just having a hard time with insomnia, anxiety and depression. Some days are good and some suck extremely bad but even the sucky days are better than it was before.

I've been trying to just play with my daughter, listen to music, watch my favorite shows and occasionally get dressed and go places.

I think the hardest parts for me right now is no sleep and having only one friend who is always busy. Drugs isolated me from all my old friends and now all I have is my husband, daughter and one busy friend. My husband leaves at 5am and doesn't get home until 7pm. I don't work- daycare would take my entire paycheck anyway. Not to mention I don't trust strangers with my kid.

Someone please remind me that one day I'll actually feel happy. I love my family but I just feel so tired and empty.
 


This is my message to you ou ou!

Don't worry time passes slowly, but every moment is an improvement. Have you tried some supplements that will get you back to homeostasis faster.....

l-tyrosine for the brain fog
l-theanine for the anxiety
5htp-to start feeling a little happier
magnessium-to work out those muscles a bit.

those will help, they helped me.
 
This is my message to you ou ou!

Don't worry time passes slowly, but every moment is an improvement. Have you tried some supplements that will get you back to homeostasis faster.....

l-tyrosine for the brain fog
l-theanine for the anxiety
5htp-to start feeling a little happier
magnessium-to work out those muscles a bit.

those will help, they helped me.
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THANK YOU! I love that song! I'm going to go get that stuff today, seriously. I haven't heard of l-theanine for anxiety. I look forward to trying all of them. So glad you responded with that song and those suggestions. Seriously, thank you.
 
No problem...sometimes a good song puts things in perspective. For me it was the happiness of jamming out to some Talking Heads that got me out of the doldrums.
 
Lynne have you realized at this point it has NOTHING To do with NOT taking Methadone?

If you are basically exhibiting the same behaviors before you were on methadone as after ; im sorry to be harsh but you have very little chance in long term success;

From what I'm seeing is you need to start really digging deep and see why you were using in the first place, and what caused you to really take those percocets in the beginning, and really analyze parts of your mind,body,spirit you may have not wanted to look at it for a LONG TIME.

Most of us addicts take to change the way we feel despite negative consequences in our lives; we are all feeiing immense amounts of pain, loss, etc ; All ive said is just my own personal journey with addiction;

Obviously the addiction/dependence(2 different things) are the easiest things to accomplish. STAYING Off drugs longterm is the big big deep difficult; and dont beat up on yourself; relapse and fucking up is definetly a part of the learning process of stayig clean...


But a complete change of lifestye must be made in order overcome any serious addiction(not just a drug but any addiction); it is so complex we still do not fully understand it coming from environmental factors, social factors, social, pyscho-social, emotional, psychologically, physiologically, genetics, and finally that one thing that makes people relapse after they have been sober for a long time CHOICE.

anyways im just pissed at the amount of addiction education in this country and everything and i think if this addiction doesnst kill me im going to maek it my lifes work to seriously revive and jumpstart the treatment of addiction to a more effective way, model, and etc...
and obvriously in my opinion the ONLY way to come out of a real real real bad addiction is through the spiritual;; Again just my own experience....

Once we discover who we are, our relationship to our "selves", life, and the Universe, through methods of DIRECT experience ; many does the human potential really become UNLIMITED,...

asides from my personal direct experiences which ultimately deeply spiritual in nature have just lead me to the realization that

I KNOW NOTHING(NO-THING) and I AM

lol last part was a shoutout to Captn H; Hope he has never forgttoen that moment of divinity.. :9 sory for the long post im done
 
cire113 said:
From what I'm seeing is you need to start really digging deep and see why you were using in the first place, and what caused you to really take those percocets in the beginning, and really analyze parts of your mind,body,spirit you may have not wanted to look at it for a LONG TIME.

Most of us addicts take to change the way we feel despite negative consequences in our lives; we are all feeiing immense amounts of pain, loss, etc ; All ive said is just my own personal journey with addiction;

STAYING Off drugs long term is the big big deep difficult; and dont beat up on yourself; relapse and fucking up is definitely a part of the learning process of staying clean...
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I agree. Find the strength you have. I'm sure you do. Most of us has gone through similar situations and it's up to you to change.
You can control your life. This phase you are going through will change and you are the one who decides what's gonna happen.
Truly wish you good luck and success!!
Erik
 
It is definitely a spiritual journey of change...and yes the way addiction is treated seriously needs to be revamped.

Get a bunch of post it pads. Write a goal on each one and post it. They can be big or small. Start with the small ones and just do one everyday. Even if all it says is get a shower. Do it. Accomplishment will make you feel better.

That is just one suggestion on how to change your life in small ways...but those small ways become significant ways eventually.
Right now you are a lotus that hasn't bloomed. When you bloom and have that moment in which you find wholeness (a spiritual experience) you will know.
 
And the gardening analogies fucking rock chef!

Plant the seed; water and care for with attention; nurture the sprout, it can transform into something great, totally new; something that wasn't there before.
 
I read this whole thread, and even though I don't know you, I just want to say how proud I am of you! Exhibiting the strength that you have throughout this whole ordeal is truly amazing. Stick with it! It sounds to me like you are though the worst physical part of it, but PAWS = awful. But I try to see it as a reminder of how I got in that position in the first place and I allow it to show me why I need to keep going and stick with it. Major kudos to you not caving into the methadone that you have in the house. I can't even tell you how truly amazed I am with your story and what you have done so far. Also, I know a lot of people who are in NA and see God as their "Higher Power" -- you can bend the steps, in that regard, to work for you. Try meetings at different places, too. I've noticed that the vibe can change drastically between different meetings at different places. Just continue to stay strong, you are seriously an inspiration :)
 
Hey everybody! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update. I think I needed to wallow because IM CLEAN AND I HAVENT HAD WITHDRAWALS IN A LONGGG TIME :) I won't forget how supportive everyone was and I don't think I would've made it through the worst of it without you all.

If anyone stumbles on this thread while detoxing from methadone, I want you to know it is absolutely possible. It's hard & mistakes will be made but it is possible if you want it bad enough. it's been over 4 months since I've had methadone- and about 2 months since I've had any opiates. *yay!*

I'll definitely never forget the absolute hell it was detoxing from it, but honestly, I'm thankful for it in a way. It was something I'll remember everytime i feel tempted to do something. I'll never go back. It needed to be awful and hard as hell to remind me never to touch it again.

So again, thank you to every single person who helped me along the way. I'll never forget it. I'll do better to check this site if anyone wants encouragement or advice. :)
 
I'm happy for you. It took me months to be fine after quitting methadone. It was and still is the worst experience I ever had when talking about quitting drugs in general.

Regardless of my depressing days I feel so free now.

I guess living without your endorphin can be quite tough sometimes.

Life as I knew it no longer exists. It's tough but I feel happy more frequently now.
Have started doing good things for me, exercises, hobbies. It's a totally new life.

I feel I have achieved something important in my life. And no one can take that away from me.

One day at a time!
 
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Lots of positive vibes in the 'Sober Living' forum. i really like it so will be hanging around here a lot. Getting clean truly is a spiritual journey where you need to dig deep and reflect about your entire life and then see the world for all its beauty just right now in the moment. I am personally still tapering but have had plenty of clean time the last 2 years before relapsing 2 months ago. Sober living really beats using by a BIIIIIG mile. It's a long journey. Once we start enjoying the path we walk, then we are truly starting to recover. Or so it was for me. If I do things that go against my values I am edging closer to using. Happened again this time. Wrong work, wrong environment. i didn't pull out quick enough and now have to deal with the consequences. Given the past withdrawals i feel better equipped though. We shall see :)
 
What was it? said:
Lots of positive vibes in the 'Sober Living' forum. i really like it so will be hanging around here a lot. Getting clean truly is a spiritual journey where you need to dig deep and reflect about your entire life and then see the world for all its beauty just right now in the moment. I am personally still tapering but have had plenty of clean time the last 2 years before relapsing 2 months ago. Sober living really beats using by a BIIIIIG mile. It's a long journey. Once we start enjoying the path we walk, then we are truly starting to recover. Or so it was for me. If I do things that go against my values I am edging closer to using. Happened again this time. Wrong work, wrong environment. i didn't pull out quick enough and now have to deal with the consequences. Given the past withdrawals i feel better equipped though. We shall see :)
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You can do it!! Keep me updated!! :) let me know if you need anyone to talk to. It's still very fresh in my mind lol
 
What was it? said:
Lots of positive vibes in the 'Sober Living' forum. i really like it so will be hanging around here a lot. Getting clean truly is a spiritual journey where you need to dig deep and reflect about your entire life and then see the world for all its beauty just right now in the moment. I am personally still tapering but have had plenty of clean time the last 2 years before relapsing 2 months ago. Sober living really beats using by a BIIIIIG mile. It's a long journey. Once we start enjoying the path we walk, then we are truly starting to recover. Or so it was for me. If I do things that go against my values I am edging closer to using. Happened again this time. Wrong work, wrong environment. i didn't pull out quick enough and now have to deal with the consequences. Given the past withdrawals i feel better equipped though. We shall see :)
Click to expand...

Relapses are part of the process. You fall but get up stronger and willing to do it better.
Recognizing what has not worked will make you succeed and more alert.
Congratulations for having continued and now more prepared for difficult days!
 
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