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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

How to get the gf to stop drinking??

mr.buffnstuff

mr.buffnstuff

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2010
Messages
1,124
A serious post here, the gf is a real twat when she drinks. In January she got drunk and tried to stick a kitchen knife in my neck, she bit chunks out my arms and subsequently was arrested! She had to see a psychiatrist and a probation worker and still is.
She don't drink often it's not like she's an alcoholic but when she does drink she becomes the biggest twat you can imagine! Last night she was like it when I was trying to sleep she came to bed and was being a twat, she will say "I'm just having a good time, what's your problem. It's not like I'm trying to kill you or be violent is it!?"
Today she's acting like everything's fine, I ended up sleeping on the sofa so feel a bit rough.

What's the best way to approach the situation. I don't want to be around her when she is drinking at the same time I don't want a big argument.
All I want is a nice easy quiet life!
 
Raasyvibe said:
Give her a jay
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In January when she was trying to kill me she nearly got a right cross if the police hadnt have hurried it!
She was wild, tried to restrain her but she took chunks out my arms i was going to have to knock her out! It's a horrible situation when that's looking like the best option!
 
uff....know that one.

i used to just tell my ex to stop drinking or doing drugs, explaining compassionately but adamantly that if she got any higher she'd go into fuck-head mode (which she admitted herself happens after a certain point). it worked sometimes but it gets pretty boring watching someone's drink/drugs intake all night. we ended up breaking up anyway.

if you love her then explain when she's sober that she's a bad drunk and for the sake of your relationship she needs to cool it.

if she can't grant you the small favour of not getting totally trashed every time she drinks then either she's an alcoholic or she's probably not worth your time.
 
smackydowners said:
If you love her then explain when she's sober that she's a bad drunk and for the sake of your relationship she needs to cool it.

if she can't grant you the small favour of not getting totally trashed every time she drinks then either she's an alcoholic or she's probably not worth your time.
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This pretty much sums it up, you have to tell her when she is sober that her drinking pattern/behavior (not the amount) is causing serious problems. If she is getting violent then I would seriously consider leaving her if she is not willing to change.

Bear
 
smackydowners said:
of wow, she actually attacks you???

unless she has PTSD from 'nam or something you should finish with her immediately.
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Bearlove said:
This pretty much sums it up, you have to tell her when she is sober that her drinking pattern/behavior (not the amount) is causing serious problems. If she is getting violent then I would seriously consider leaving her if she is not willing to change.

Bear
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Try, when she's sober, calmly explaining how her drinking is affecting herself n you. If she dismisses you n continues to be violent I would finish with her for both your sakes.

Evey
 
mr.buffnstuff said:
A serious post here, the gf is a real twat when she drinks. In January she got drunk and tried to stick a kitchen knife in my neck, she bit chunks out my arms and subsequently was arrested! She had to see a psychiatrist and a probation worker and still is.
She don't drink often it's not like she's an alcoholic but when she does drink she becomes the biggest twat you can imagine! Last night she was like it when I was trying to sleep she came to bed and was being a twat, she will say "I'm just having a good time, what's your problem. It's not like I'm trying to kill you or be violent is it!?"
Today she's acting like everything's fine, I ended up sleeping on the sofa so feel a bit rough.

What's the best way to approach the situation. I don't want to be around her when she is drinking at the same time I don't want a big argument.
All I want is a nice easy quiet life!
Click to expand...

I wonder if we could somehow get this printed as a headline in the Daily Mail? ;)
 
mr.buffnstuff said:
A serious post here, the gf is a real twat when she drinks. In January she got drunk and tried to stick a kitchen knife in my neck, she bit chunks out my arms and subsequently was arrested! She had to see a psychiatrist and a probation worker and still is.
She don't drink often it's not like she's an alcoholic but when she does drink she becomes the biggest twat you can imagine! Last night she was like it when I was trying to sleep she came to bed and was being a twat, she will say "I'm just having a good time, what's your problem. It's not like I'm trying to kill you or be violent is it!?"
Today she's acting like everything's fine, I ended up sleeping on the sofa so feel a bit rough.

What's the best way to approach the situation. I don't want to be around her when she is drinking at the same time I don't want a big argument.
All I want is a nice easy quiet life!
Click to expand...

She either has to give up drinking completely or you leave her. Sorry man, but she sounds fucking dangerous when drunk! We can all be twats, when I go into a blackout worst thing I will do is get chucked out of a pub for insulting someone or try and have sex with a lampost thinking it's the next door neighbour's hot daughter. I never get violent, and if I have it's been with another bloke outside a pub and It's always because they have started it.

She has crossed the line and now you are in what can only be described as an abusive relationship. Now, I don't know the dynamics of the situation, I don't know if there are kids involved, how long you have been together, what other personal shit is going on with the two of you, or even what kind of past your partner has. What I do know is that it has to stop, if she is absolutely fine without the drink then it's the drink that needs to be eliminated. If she is not willing to do that even though she knows how it makes you feel, we're not just talking about you being a nagging partner when she is drunk, we are talking about physical abuse.

Maybe go and see a counselor first, if she still wants to continue drinking then I'm afraid the best thing for you is to move one.
 
mr.buffnstuff said:
It would be a long headline!
Click to expand...

"Man stabbed in the neck and eaten by cannibal drunk girlfriend"

I'm with MUSHET. This is quite serious. I've had furniture thrown at me before but unless you can explain further dynamics of the situation you need to either get her to stop drinking or seriously consider your future with her. The other danger here is what happens one night if she goes violent and you react? You sound like a fairly passive guy but in the heat of the moment wrong reaction and it could be you that winds up the one labelled as "abusive partner" :\ your only going to be able to handle this so long unless she stops drinking IMO
 
Sid said:
"Man stabbed in the neck and eaten by cannibal drunk girlfriend"

I'm with MUSHET. This is quite serious. I've had furniture thrown at me before but unless you can explain further dynamics of the situation you need to either get her to stop drinking or seriously consider your future with her. The other danger here is what happens one night if she goes violent and you react? You sound like a fairly passive guy but in the heat of the moment wrong reaction and it could be you that winds up the one labelled as "abusive partner" :\ your only going to be able to handle this so long unless she stops drinking IMO
Click to expand...

When she got arrested in January and I had a statement taken I remember telling the cop how scared I was from being so close to having to knock her out. Surprisingly he said I would have done the same in the situation and it would be justified as my life was endangered.
We have been together 4 years live together away from any family or owt, 2 cats, no kids. We only have each other, but that said, if I had to leave her I would be just fine on my own again.
When she's sober she is fine, she has some underlying mental issues I'm in no doubt but day to day it's not an issue
 
Sorry brother, but it's time to get out and go and live your life and forget about the last 4 years, sorry if that sounds harsh.

You have no children together - walk away and find somebody who you can enjoy having a few refreshments together without that fear in the pit of your stomach that she will stab you with a kitchen knife or that you'll lose it and kick the shit out of her next time she chews a lump from your arm.

There is no need to live your life like that.
 
If your dick is in her mouth, she can't drink.

Or she can, in which case she's a keeper. Either way, profit (and blowjob).
 
I was going to suggest spiking her with disulfiram (as a joke, obviously!). She wouldn't get through her first drink. ;) I can only echo what's been said by others. Tell her she needs to stop, or find a more suitable drug, or you're finished. Imagine settling down and having kids with someone who acts like that...
 
I would be wary, sometimes giving people with those tendencies a second chance can go very, very wrong. I'd certainly put some distance between you and her and try and make her appreciate how damaging her behaviour is...
 
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