Im not quite sure if I post in the right section, if not Im sorry for that.
Anyways my story: Ive taken maybe a total of 3 blue ghosts which you can see here:
http://www.pillreports.net/index.php?page=display_pill&id=34216
About 2 pink grenades
http://www.pillreports.net/index.php?page=display_pill&id=34119
And about 2 of these yellow smileys
http://www.pillreports.net/index.php?page=display_pill&id=19080
And about 1 (quite sure it was an untested extasy) extasy pill, which had no sign on it, I asked the guy and he said it was a Rockstar, im not sure.
I knew nothing about extasy before, and I hanged out with bad people this time, I was awake 2 days maybe 2 times when I rolled, and I drank quite some alcohol maybe 2 times when Ive rolled, all whitin a timeframe of maybe 2-3 months.
Ive never used any drugs before in my life, I never smoked before in my life either, Ive always been healthy working out and so on, I didnt drink often before either, I dont do it now either, but this period I went extremly hard and when I asked my friends if it was dangerous they just said, no you just realese the serotonin and it comes back, and I was dumb and believed it and I was kind of out of control this period, and now about 12 months after I still dont feel quite normal.
How I used to be:
I'm a good looking guy, I was very confident with a really good self esteem had no problem talking to people, and were the most social guy in the room, almost all the time.
My side effects today:
Anxiety, I feel brain frog, hard to find words (alot),Not the same motivation, I was obsessed with bodybuilding before, but now its like somedays I just chill home, but I still workout 4-5 x/week, I dont feel any euphoria after workouts which I used to do alot before, I dont feel relaxed in situations, before I feelt extremly relaxed in almost every situation(social situation) I was so chill, I feel like i lost my self steem, I dont feel confident anymore, I got hard looking people in the eyes, I feel awkward(strange) when talking to people, NOT all the time but quite alot, and sometimes with people I know, in the beginning I didnt think about extasy and so on and It was actually better but It happen i got anxiety attacks in social situations and it didnt feel "Nice" talking to people, it felt like a burden, before I always enjoyed talking to every1 but now it's like I know Im gonna get nervous and stuck when i talk.
Sometimes I can just get extremely nervous It's so damn strange I cant really control it, It has happen when Ive been with people I know, friends, even family etc, I get nervous when i got a story to tell, It's like Im stuck in my old self I always talked alot and fast,but I cant do it as well as I did before anymore and it bothers me ALOT, And i try to fix it all the time and think about it and stuff, I know this is also bad.
THINGS IVE DONE TO "CURE" Myself: Exercise daily, Eat healthy.
Supplements I i take:
Zinc,
Magnesium,
Omega 3,
Multi vitamin,
Sometimes I do feel like myself when I talk to some people, this is often when I dont look at them, when walking and so on, and some situatiosn I feel "Normal" but most of the time, I just feel so damn fixed, ive gotten nervous with my girlfriends parents Im shaking seeing them and so on.
Conslucion: I feel like myself still, but a bad version with lower self steem, and not as relaxed as I did before. I also hear sounds alot, like you see in the movies when there is sounds and you focus on it so hard and you cant help it, Im really self aware of everything I do all the time, It's like everything "Flowed" before, but now Im like a robot which analyzes every little move, If i say something strange Im like wtf, every social interaction I analyze afterwards and so on. Im going to try to meditate alot since many people have said it helped them.
P.S Im sorry If i write kinda messy I hope you guys understand what I mean, Ask me anything I'm happy to respond back to your questions, Id love to feel normal again without taking drugs to solve my problem if it's possible.
P.S 2 Im not depressed I feel happy sometimes but mostly like "Empty" like not sad but not the best either, before I felt happy/excited alot more, if somebody could help me with advice I would be grateful all my life, and I would consider you as a friend for life I would never forget what you did for me,
P.S 3. I had no panic attack etc on extasy, I felt really good and so on if it matters.
