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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

fear of hell.

None of us can possibly know what happens after this life ends. As of now we do not fully comprehend consciousness itself. So either death will be a simple end to consciousness altogether (and thus an end to all our questions, theories and beliefs) or it will be something unimaginable in our current physical states. I like the mystery of it all. Wanting to end one's life is wanting to end the misery of circumstances. Hopelessness feeds on itself. If you keep telling yourself that you cannot change either your circumstances (which might be your thoughts and emotions) you keep reapplying the glue to your misery. Cultivating hope can take many practical forms but it always takes a certain amount of faith.
 
I very much agree with that Herb <3

It will do others well to remember that some of us are rays of fucking sunshine. If one finds it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, ask for a torch. Or your own personal ray of sunshine. They won't make it better but sometimes a chat can see you through the day or just the dark times. When someone offers you their hand it is up to you if you want or need to take it. Sometimes just knowing that its there is enough to see you through.

My offer will always stand with you Hex, PM me anytime. I am only a phone call away if you should ever wish. Keeps safe love. <3
 
Sidnafilisevil said:
No offence mate but you really do need mental help. Your posting as of late is very very dark. I think people here can help but first you must help yourself by stopping punishing yourself by abusing hard drugs.

Just a tip, but when you feel like it's the end of the world ketamine or MXE can be a very powerful anti depressant. I would give the brown a rest and try some k-holing. Just trying to help mate.
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I was just thinking though that ketamine is probably the most addictive drug i've done. Heroin is pure escapism, but ketamine is escapism and also a fasinacinating experience. I hated it when I first tried it, thought the k-hole was far too intense. But then when I did it a few more times, it became almost an obsession. I would snort a line of K, feel blissed out and free and floaty, sort of like heroin, but in a different way. And then I had to take if further. I found myslef buying g after g even though I had no money. I would try and save it to combo with LSD (as that combo is the utter shit) but would find myself unable too. I impusivley did it even at times when I shouldn't (like before work etc) and if I had it, I had to do it. (same goes for mxe.)

Heroin I found incredibly beautiful but in a satisfying way. I even found stims more addictive. Mephedrone, when it's running out I find myself ringing dealers buying more, licking the baggie, snorting whatever crumbs are on the table, etc etc. Don't get me wrong, if I had more heroin, I would have done it. But once it ran out, I just went to sleep. When I woke up, I didn't have an immediate desire to buy more. My impression is that the inital addictivness is overrated, but once you get addicted, you're in the deep end.
 
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also, having not slept for ages, I saw the 'shadow people' for the first time last night.
 
hexagram said:
also, having not slept for ages, I saw the 'shadow people' for the first time last night.
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OOOh Shadow people. That's the mind telling you get some fucking sleep mate! First time I saw a shadow person I'd "actually" seen the shadow of a person popping their head through a nook in ceiling of my old kitchen. Only, no such a thing existed in my ceiling. Bloody months went by I still looked at how that could have happened as it really did seem so real at the time. Even as I was moving out I had yet for a millionth time had another look. Not possible. :|

Shadow people = time to sleep it off mate. That shit be cray cray!
 
I thought I saw the girl from the exorcist behind the curtain levitating.

as well as people in the garden. The feetling that the police/ burgurlars are going to kick down the door any second.

I got so sketched out the other day that I oveheard my friends talking about me in my living room. Could hear every word. Went downstairs and they denied it.

But then, at my parents house, I heard the same conversation going on in my living room. Went downstairs, the only thing was the Tv. It was just an auiditoary delusion. christ I need to properly apologize to my housemates cause I was so convinced they were talking crap and it was just my own, sleep derpived parnoia.
 
Make sure you get some proper sleep Hex. Things can get really messy if you don't. It can be interesting at first then can quickly spiral out of control. Take care of yourself love. I have many stories to tell but I think I'll just keep them for another time. ;)

<3
 
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