Is it normal or am I a lesbian ?

[AmbarrZ]

I'm sure somebody out there can hopefully relate to this ...

So I've been in a few relationships with men, guys who I've been madly in love with. Just one thing .. I can't get off to anything except the thought of another girl. That's it . Or my boyfriend f--Ing another girl. Nothing else turns me on at all. Ever. There's not one specific female , so maybe I'm bi , and sexually attracted to girls ? Help!

Can anyone relate to that ?

 

[psychedelicsoul]

So... If you're only attracted to girls, how do you fall madly in love with men?

 

[AmbarrZ]

I think I'm only sexually attracted to girls maybe. I like guys and I've been in love with a guy but no matter what, when it comes to sex , no matter how much I like dude , I'll still have this whole other fantasy shit playing in my head. If I'm
Not then I'm not turned on.
Which is why I'm so confused .
If I like men, why don't they physically turn me on?

 

[psychedelicsoul]

I think I'm only sexually attracted to girls maybe. I like guys and I've been in love with a guy but no matter what, when it comes to sex , no matter how much I like dude , I'll still have this whole other fantasy shit playing in my head. If I'm
Not then I'm not turned on.
Which is why I'm so confused .
If I like men, why don't they physically turn me on?

Well, I don't know how to make someone sexually attracted to something. Do you want to feel attracted to men? Maybe you should watch shemale porn or hentai with traps and that would slowly get you interested in dick? I suggest using hallucinogens and meditation to get to the root of why you feel that way. You could understand or even change yourself possibly. I don't know... But this seems like something that a good acid trip could help one understand.
Maybe try thinking about the male body more often while simultaneously associating those thoughts with positive experiences. I'm not saying acid will change you, but a good trip might help you understand why you feel a certain way.
I'm basically telling you to go on an inward journey

Here's a question. Do you think you could fall in love with a girl? If not, then I'd say you have a strong fascination with the female body that sort of goes against your desire to be with men. It sounds like your body is a lesbian, but your soul is straight.

 

[spacejunk]

^ this guy is all kinds of sexually repressed. Take it with a grain of salt.

Have you been intimate with a woman? Perhaps you are a lesbian; i think that experimenting and exploring your sexuality is the only way to find out.
Also, love and sexual attraction are not necessarily the same thing.
I don't (can't) know the answer to your question - just musing. But i wouldn't even entertain the idea that "your body is a lesbian, but your soul is straight".
That's just nonsense.

 

[Ticket]

There's no need to get bogged down in the gender binary. Do you feel attracted to trans* men or women? What about other non-binary people? Masculine of centre, female bodied androgynous genderqueer people? Do you like typically 'male-ish' traits and energies, but not male bodies? Do you like female bodies but not typically female-identified people? Sounds as though you need to explore. You could very well be homosexual and heteroromantic, you might be a lesbian, bisexual or otherwise queer who likes masculine or more butch women, but not actually men. There's a whole world of possibilities out there, don't be afraid to explore.

 

[psychedelicsoul]

^ this guy is all kinds of sexually repressed. Take it with a grain of salt.

And you're closed minded.

But i wouldn't even entertain the idea that "your body is a lesbian, but your soul is straight".
That's just nonsense.

Not everyone is an athiest. Some people out here believe in souls... But that wasn't even my point. I was just saying that some self-exploration is key in discovering the root of ones desires. I was just making suggestions on that. A lot of people aren't content just experimenting and wanna understand why they feel a certain way about certain things.

 

[JessFR]

And you're closed minded.




Not everyone is an athiest. Some people out here believe in souls... But that wasn't even my point. I was just saying that some self-exploration is key in discovering the root of ones desires. I was just making suggestions on that. A lot of people aren't content just experimenting and wanna understand why they feel a certain way about certain things.

I believe in souls, I still agree that you're a very very poor authority on matters of sexual confusion, you are like allllllll over the place I don't even know where to begin.. it's like all kinda messed up. Seriously I suggest you work on yourself more than others.


OP.. personally I think you're maybe making too much of this. You know you can love men, you know you find yourself attracted to women, perhaps you're bi, perhaps you're just you and there's nothing wrong with that and you should follow your heart and do what makes you happy. Don't get too hung up on labels. Maybe you are lesbian but able to fall in love with people because of who they are rather than what they are. It's all fine. :D

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I am not lesbian or a woman but based on what you wrote, and since you are asking it does sound as though you are lesbian. I am bisexual and attracted to women, men, and trans people, and have had sex fantasies about all people like this during sex at times. This is not something I intentionally do, sometimes it just happens.

I have gay men as friends who have told me how they have had sex with women, and even sort of an emotional connection to women, and some even had long term girlfriends or wives, but that they could not get off to sex with a woman or climax during sex with a woman unless they thought about a man or men.

Have you had sex with a woman?

 

[psychedelicsoul]

I believe in souls, I still agree that you're a very very poor authority on matters of sexual confusion, you are like allllllll over the place I don't even know where to begin.. it's like all kinda messed up. Seriously I suggest you work on yourself more than others.

That's why I suggested self-exploration. I do think psychedelics or DXM would help. However, I did admit that I'm not sure what to do in this sort of situation.

 

[smackydowners]

psychedelicsoul's right guys! she should take acid and get psychiatric help!!! maybe some electro shock avoidance therapy where she gets a shock every time she thinks about girls and a lolly every time she thinks of boys. on mescaline.

but seriously...

OP, sounds like youre probably a lesbian, and that you can fall in love with both genders because youre not a superficial person which is really commendable!
are you in any way opposed to trying women?

 

[psychedelicsoul]

psychedelicsoul's right guys! she should take acid and get psychiatric help!!! maybe some electro shock avoidance therapy where she gets a shock every time she thinks about girls and a lolly every time she thinks of boys. on mescaline.

I never said that...
However, I stand by the fact that acid leads to self-discovery.

 

[Bearlove]

If I may ask, how old are you ?
Maybe your from a strict family who would reject the idea of you with another woman so you have sort of automatically starting guys as it was seen 'the right thing to do'. Have you experimented with another woman or is this just still a desire or fantasy?

When your imagining your bf with another woman, what part of this excites or turns you on?

If your not getting sexual satisfaction from being with men do you enjoy their company and everything else that goes with a relationship - security, intimacy etc. Can you imagine yourself living with another woman, kissing, holding, security, shopping and all the day to day things (not just sex)?

 

[Bearlove]

I never said that...
However, I stand by the fact that acid leads to self-discovery.

I know but if somebody is trying to figure out if they are gay or straight etc - your goto answer should not be 'take acid and find out'. Taking acid can be a life changing experience but if the person is already really confused about a matter it does not mean there is going to be an Eureka moment and everything falls into place. It could go the opposite way and make the person even more confused etc

 

[psychedelicsoul]

I know but if somebody is trying to figure out if they are gay or straight etc - your goto answer should not be 'take acid and find out'. Taking acid can be a life changing experience but if the person is already really confused about a matter it does not mean there is going to be an Eureka moment and everything falls into place. It could go the opposite way and make the person even more confused etc

Possbily. But if a person sits down and thinks about it from a balanced persepctive, it might open up their eyes to things about themselves they never even knew. It's all in ones set and setting. Even then, bad trips are the price of self-discovery. A couple bad trips are worth it if you can learn or alter more things about yourself.

 

[Bearlove]

Possbily. But if a person sits down and thinks about it from a balanced persepctive, it might open up their eyes to things about themselves they never even knew. It's all in ones set and setting. Even then, bad trips are the price of self-discovery. A couple bad trips are worth it if you can learn or alter more things about yourself.

Im sorry but I disagree with you - if the person is not used to taking LSD and has a bad trip when already feeling bad or confused about themselves sexually it could do more harm than good. You have no way of knowing this persons mental history (no offense OP) or what other drugs they are taking - to make the sudden leap of 'take LSD' is a bit reckless and really not good HR advice. Not everyone has the ability to take positives from a bad trip.

 

[Ticket]

Honestly I know a lot of lesbians that have had a hard time figuring that out because they have felt connection with men and aren't actively repulsed by having sex with them, just not really enjoying it or feeling satisfied. It's usually because heterosexual dynamics and relationships are seen as default by most of society, so their whole upbringing and idea of relationships has been informed by that. So they try it out because, it's just what people do. And then there is of course the ability to feel love and connection with people, that just may not necessarily be sexual in nature. But when you've been told your whole life that love is a man and a woman, and you feel closeness and affection for a man, who feels sexual things for you, it can seem like the obvious thing is that the connection is sexual. There's so many ways to love, and sex is just one, or just a part of it. If you like a person and trust them, feel emotionally intimate, close, lots of affection, then having sex with them doesn't seem so horrible. Maybe it would be different if you were just thinking about men, hairy chests, beards, dicks, semen, etc and getting turned on by just the concept of sexually attractive men... But it doesn't seem like you are. It sounds like you're a lesbian who is currently a bit confused by your ability to feel connected to men. But it's not unusual! I would suggest broadening your range of experience and experimenting with other women. Maybe you'll realise you connect even better, and the sex is mind blowing. The soft, smooth skin, curves, different smells and tastes, totally different relationship and sexual dynamics - It could all just click into place with a bit more understanding of yourself.

 

[psychedelicsoul]

Im sorry but I disagree with you - if the person is not used to taking LSD and has a bad trip when already feeling bad or confused about themselves sexually it could do more harm than good. You have no way of knowing this persons mental history (no offense OP) or what other drugs they are taking - to make the sudden leap of 'take LSD' is a bit reckless and really not good HR advice. Not everyone has the ability to take positives from a bad trip.

I think like with any drug, it's something you ease into.
Whether it's LSA or DXM, it's probably wise to get a good understanding of the drug before taking it. At least with low dosages.

But then again, I've heard people who practice transcendental meditation claim they can achieve similar levels of self-discovery without drugs

 

[Bearlove]

I think like with any drug, it's something you ease into.
Whether it's LSA or DXM, it's probably wise to get a good understanding of the drug before taking it. At least with low dosages.

But then again, I've heard people who practice transcendental meditation claim they can achieve similar levels of self-discovery without drugs

I fully agree with you, but you never mentioned low doses in your posts, you never mentioned to get a good understand of the drug etc. You also never tried to ascertain anything about the poster before you simply suggested trying drugs.

 

[psychedelicsoul]

I fully agree with you, but you never mentioned low doses in your posts, you never mentioned to get a good understand of the drug etc. You also never tried to ascertain anything about the poster before you simply suggested trying drugs.

I was just saying what I would do in such a situation. I should have recommended getting to know more about psychedelics and dissociatives before doing them... But it's not like I did that. I just hoped right in... In fact my first trips on DPH, LSA, and DXM had always been high doses. So even though it's good advice, I never eased into using drugs like that.