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24 hours in.. Please help

Good luck man, i know the struggle. I cant ever imagine snorting all that Tylenol or trying to put Vicodin/percocet up my nose, just doesnt make sense to me. You're coming up on the worst part, for me anyways, the 72 hour mark. I never made it much past 72 hours on my own, always failed and ended up scoring something. So dont be me lol, stay with it. It's worth it.

If you just cant do it there is always suboxone, just do your homework and know what you're getting into. It pretty much killed all craving for me, allows me to think clearly and function normally, but if i try to lower my dose the voice comes back... dope dope dope.. and i know they'll be a day of reckoning if i decide to stop.
 
I have to wait a month to get into the box clinic. I don't want to wait that long. Plus I am already through the worst part I think.
 
Just don't ever forget what you went through to get here so that you don't ever go back.
 
I'm doing good at work. Little lack of energy but I'm doing so much better at work without pills. Normally I would have played sick and went home by now without pills. I'm keeping up and feel great. I always look at other people and wish I could have a normal life like them and say to myself. I bet they're not addicted and going through withdrawals. Now I can say hey I am kind of normal!!! Tomorrow I'm going to try to not take any bentyk or loparamide at all. I've only been taking 3 lope pills a day so I shouldn't withdrawal from those. I think I see the light at the end guys!
 
81 hours in and not slipped up once. Stomach still hurts a little. A lot of mental fuckery going on right now. I want something so God damn bad but I know that I can't. Its like my mind is at war right now. Just an update.
 
Soon you will be counting days then weeks then it will just be a thing that you did back in the day. Keep it up, sounds like you have way more to live for then some dumb all consuming pill. You are in control bro.
 
I really need somebody to talk to right now. I'm 85 hours clean in 15 minutes and I'm having horrible anxiety attacks. Kind of feels like I'm back at day 1. My mind is playing tricks on me. It keeps trying to talk me into going to the hospital to get shot with morphine or dilaudid. I'm trying as hard as I possibly can to stop it. I've held out this far. Its been an ongoing battle with this feeling all day today. I'm trying to stay busy. I'm getting kind of tired. Maybe I will just go to sleep and wake up in the morning and start day 4. Just so I don't do anything stupid this evening. This is harder than I thought. I thought after day 3 it got easier? It seems like it's a whole different type of withdrawal after you get past day 3. I've never made it this far. In. It having anymore cold chills. But I'm having rls anxiety and cravings like I've never had before. Worse than day 1. ......
 
littleevilpills said:
I really need somebody to talk to right now. I'm 85 hours clean in 15 minutes and I'm having horrible anxiety attacks. Kind of feels like I'm back at day 1. My mind is playing tricks on me. It keeps trying to talk me into going to the hospital to get shot with morphine or dilaudid. I'm trying as hard as I possibly can to stop it. I've held out this far. Its been an ongoing battle with this feeling all day today. I'm trying to stay busy. I'm getting kind of tired. Maybe I will just go to sleep and wake up in the morning and start day 4. Just so I don't do anything stupid this evening. This is harder than I thought. I thought after day 3 it got easier? It seems like it's a whole different type of withdrawal after you get past day 3. I've never made it this far. In. It having anymore cold chills. But I'm having rls anxiety and cravings like I've never had before. Worse than day 1. ......
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Things will get easier, trust me. Think about your family, think about the life you can have, don't sacrifice it all for a fleeting high. You've done so well already, don't fuck it all up now.
 
Hang in there man, do whatever you have to do to get your mind off of it. Don't allow yourself to get sucked back in to it. Stare at a picture of your fiance or read a book go run. Do something to occupy your mind.
 
How long does all of this last? I know that it can take a long time but how long until I can kind of return back to normal? Will I always think about crushing up a Percocet and railing it up my fucking nose and spacing out. All I can think about is how much harder a lot less dosage would hit me and fuck me up. Fuck it. I'm going to bed. Here's to sobriety. FUCK YOU OPIATES. That's all for tonight. Here's to waking up and starting day 4.
 
It's 10:28pm almost through day 3. Tomorrow when I wake up. I'll be at day 4. I have to work tomorrow at 11:15am so that will keep my mind busy for 4 hours. I think my anxiety has settled down. Now I keep finding myself detach from everybody else. I keep walking in the kitchen to get away from everybody. Is this normal? I have my thread link to a few of my friends that know what is going on so they can keep track of my progress. I just went back to read everything from day 1 just to remind myself the hell I went through to get where I am at right now. Guess what guys? With the money I'm saving from pills. I'm buying a 1998 mustang next week! I couldn't ever afford that nor would I even think about dropping that much money on anything other than pills. This feels great as much as it sucks. I think I start the gym with my friend tomorrow at 6pm my time. I hope I can make it man. It feels great to have my best friend back in my life. He stopped hanging with me because I was using. Now that I'm seriously quitting. He is giving it another chance. I have to make this count. For me. For my family. For my life. Why the fuck would I want to waste it snorting pills? And spending ridiculous amounts of cash.

I feel decent right now besides a little on the edgy feeling. Goodnight everybody. I will post another update when I get up in the morning.

You guys truly are a blessing!

I think I want to be an addiction counselor after this is over. I want to help people through this garbage.
 
So many things looking up for you already. You're going to key west, you're going to elope, you got your best friend back, your head is clearer and you're buying a car. Sounds like a pretty good trade to me bro.
 
I thinking wanting a bit of distance and space when wd'ing is pretty normal. I feel like it has to do with not wanting to project the bad feelings onto other people, like feeling aggitated because of WD's and not wanting other to mistake that for you being mad at them. It really does help to communicate these things with people who will understand in your personal life if you can. I know not everybody has that comfort though.

Find something creative to do that you can invest some of your anxieties into. For me it is singing or playing guitar, but singing really has saved me in so many ways. Singing is something that I can do when I am feeling my darkest or craving the hardest. It is something that requires focus and mental energy as well as passion, you can really pour yourself into it and lose yourself in the music... forget who and where you are for that song. in that moment you are the song. The best thing about singing is the more time and energy I put into it, the more I get out of it. The opposite of drugs. If I can't or don't feel like playing music, the next best thing is a natural adrenaline rush. Not always the best thing for me to do though because this has gotten me into some dangerous situations that I wasn't entirely prepared for. There are healthy ways to get an adrenaline rush though, not all have to be insanely risky to life and limb. For example, talking to girls that I don't know will often give me a similar rush.

I hope you do become an addiction counselor when you clean up and level out a bit if that is what you are really passionate about. I too wish to find a way to connect and help troubled youth. I know had I had someone there during some of the most troubled times in my life things would be different, i like to think so at least...

sounds like you are doing great though, keep up the progress! try not to stagnate or backslide, you are making some very positive changes for your future!
 
I just hit day 4, 15 minutes ago. I slept completely through the night. Mafioso, I enjoy singing too. Even though I horribly suck at it. Lol. Yesterday I was cruising around town belting out some old music that I was playing on YouTube for like 2 hours straight. I woke up with a sore throat just now. Lmao.

I woke up with rls but it went away after a few minutes. As soon as I woke up I thought I was going to the bathroom to crush up a pill. Idk if it's instinct from repetitiveness or what lol

I can see a difference already. Normally if I wake up and don't have any pills. I don't sit at the table and have coffee. I sit in the living room under the blankets feeling sorry af for myself. Not communicating.

This morning I woke up. Missed my 1 year old. Walked into the kitchen poured me some coffee and I am chatting with my mom. (i stayed at my mom's house because I didn't have the gas to make it to work from where I live) but I'll slowly get back on my feet. Especially when we get that money next week) I'm still going through hell but it is getting easier. Here's to day 4. I have to work in 3 hours. And I'm actually happy about it. Because I can now make money instead of spend money.
 
Just a quick question. So what made me quit is every time I crushed up a pill. I had it in my head that they were fake. Because I had gotten a hold of some fake vicodin and it scared the fuck out of me. It completely ruined my experience. No matter who I got them from. Even completely trusted sources like people I went to the pharmacy with and got the pills from them right out of the bottle and I saw them come right out of the pharmacy bag. In my mind. They still were fake. The buzz I got completely changed after that fake pill. It was like an anxiety high. Could this have helped in this process? I have a huge anxiety issue. That's why I never went to heroin. Because it scared the fuck out of me. Even though it took me out of withdrawals I still had an anxiety attack the first time I ever tried it. Never tried it again. I need to have my anxiety issues addressed because I had anxiety issues prior to my using. I just don't want anything addicitive to fix the issue.
 
By the way. Today is day 1 of taking nothing. No loperamide. No Tylenol for pain. Absolutely nothing at all. My body is on autopilot to do as it sees fit. I'm clocking into work right now for a quick 4 hour shift then I have 3 days off to ride the rest of this out. I've noticed a little bit of energy boost then the lack of energy with depressed thoughts. Paws? Maybe? Going into paws just means I'm out of the acute stage! And makes me happy. But I'm not going to believe im out of the acute stage for a few more days. I dont want to get my hopes up and be blasted again with acute withdrawals and it send me into depression. So right now I'm saying I'm still in acute phase because of the stomach cramping and energy lacking feeling.
 
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