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Anxiety and depression, again.

KidsPls

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
35
Hello guys. I am a girl, I am 21 and of course a fan of MDMA and ecstasy.
I started to roll this year, it was on January, and it led to the next months. At first, I was thinking about doing it for once in a month, but later I rolled about twice monthly and worse comes to worst, I enjoyed the drugs for every week since March. I do not know about the grams and stuffs, but I always consumed one and half of the pills, or double. I know my questions and the answers would be the same as other threads, but I really need to know specifically what is wrong with me. I also enjoyed Ketamine but I only did it thrice.

I have stopped taking the drugs about a month and a half. I do smoke weed everyday, a joint or two shots of bong (cause I hate the sobriety) . Last two months I tried to answer my final exam in a struggle, I felt like I was so stupid and all. And the anxiety only God knows how I felt. That's why I am on my road to stop taking drugs for four months. Then, I am planning to appreciate the drugs often. For the past a month and a half without ecstasy, I am feeling better, the anxiety slowly faded away, now I can answer to my paper in such a freedom, I also went to yoga class, exercise and all. I thought it already went away. Like now, when I entered my room where the most parties has been done there, the anxiety attacks. I remembered how I danced like stupid to rave songs, and imagined myself looking so stupid. So many things happened in the room, so many drugs in there before, I suddenly feel paranoid when I think of it. I told myself what pass is pass, but it helps just a bit. And also, I am having anxiety for no reasons. I do not know why it feels something wrong somewhere, I even called my mom just to make sure that she's okay. I also feel like I need to bring myself back to God. Well it's so hard to calm myself down.

So here's my questions :

1) A month and half is not enough to subside the long term effects?

2) Is it normal when the anxiety attacks come after every 2 weeks or even 2 days? Like, they can come anytime they want? Because I thought after being cleaned up more than 30 days, the anxiety will become less painful or severe.

3) Or, it is just me who hadnt smoke weed for only two days because I am out of stuff, so that's why I am feeling this way?

Thank you so much.
 
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1) A month and half is not enough to subside the long term effects?

2) Is it normal when the anxiety attacks come after every 2 weeks or even 2 days? Like, they can come anytime they want? Because I thought after being cleaned up more than 30 days, the anxiety will become less painful or severe.

3) Or, it is just me who hadnt smoke weed for only two days because I am out of stuff, so that's why I am feeling this way?

Thank you so much.

Hello! Welcome to the forum

1) No way that 30 days is enough to overcome your abuse for the last 6 months, sorry to give it like that. A normal dose (~140mg) takes to the brain between 1 month and 45 days to recover what was lost. Imagine in your case, that you have no idea how much you consumed, and you did it every two weeks.

2) Yes, it's normal. Your brain is chemically unbalanced. You will need to give it time to recover. Some people takes between 3 and 6 months to recover, others over a year. The most important thing right now stop consuming all kind of drugs for at least, 6 months. This includes weed, LSD, alcohol and MDMA. You need to give your brain a break and time to heal. Brain recovery is counted in weeks or months, NOT days. So if you consume again after being clean 3 weeks, you will be back to zero, or even worst.

3) Weed is known to cause paranoia. You are suffering what we call a LONG TERM COMEDOWN, so you might start reading the info on this thread, it will surelly help you (and probably scare you so you don't do it again): http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/759049-MDMA-Recovery-(Stories-amp-Support-3)

The important thing to keep in mind is that the brain heal itself, so nothing that you did is permanent. It might take years to get back to were you were, but you will :)
 
Thank you very very very much for this explanation. Not that I have little knowledge, but the results on google are widespread I lost count on how many stories I have read so far. Honestly I didnt believe that it takes months to recover. Now I am experiencing it and I hope I know what I am going to do about this.

Thank you again. I really appreciate your attention :)
Hello! Welcome to the forum

1) No way that 30 days is enough to overcome your abuse for the last 6 months, sorry to give it like that. A normal dose (~140mg) takes to the brain between 1 month and 45 days to recover what was lost. Imagine in your case, that you have no idea how much you consumed, and you did it every two weeks.

2) Yes, it's normal. Your brain is chemically unbalanced. You will need to give it time to recover. Some people takes between 3 and 6 months to recover, others over a year. The most important thing right now stop consuming all kind of drugs for at least, 6 months. This includes weed, LSD, alcohol and MDMA. You need to give your brain a break and time to heal. Brain recovery is counted in weeks or months, NOT days. So if you consume again after being clean 3 weeks, you will be back to zero, or even worst.

3) Weed is known to cause paranoia. You are suffering what we call a LONG TERM COMEDOWN, so you might start reading the info on this thread, it will surelly help you (and probably scare you so you don't do it again): http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/759049-MDMA-Recovery-(Stories-amp-Support-3)

The important thing to keep in mind is that the brain heal itself, so nothing that you did is permanent. It might take years to get back to were you were, but you will :)
 
Hello guys. I am a girl, I am 21 and of course a fan of MDMA and ecstasy.
I started to roll this year, it was on January, and it led to the next months. At first, I was thinking about doing it for once in a month, but later I rolled about twice monthly and worse comes to worst, I enjoyed the drugs for every week since March. I do not know about the grams and stuffs, but I always consumed one and half of the pills, or double. I know my questions and the answers would be the same as other threads, but I really need to know specifically what is wrong with me. I also enjoyed Ketamine but I only did it thrice.

I have stopped taking the drugs about a month and a half. I do smoke weed everyday, a joint or two shots of bong (cause I hate the sobriety) . Last two months I tried to answer my final exam in a struggle, I felt like I was so stupid and all. And the anxiety only God knows how I felt. That's why I am on my road to stop taking drugs for four months. Then, I am planning to appreciate the drugs often. For the past a month and a half without ecstasy, I am feeling better, the anxiety slowly faded away, now I can answer to my paper in such a freedom, I also went to yoga class, exercise and all. I thought it already went away. Like now, when I entered my room where the most parties has been done there, the anxiety attacks. I remembered how I danced like stupid to rave songs, and imagined myself looking so stupid. So many things happened in the room, so many drugs in there before, I suddenly feel paranoid when I think of it. I told myself what pass is pass, but it helps just a bit. And also, I am having anxiety for no reasons. I do not know why it feels something wrong somewhere, I even called my mom just to make sure that she's okay. I also feel like I need to bring myself back to God. Well it's so hard to calm myself down.

So here's my questions :

1) A month and half is not enough to subside the long term effects?

2) Is it normal when the anxiety attacks come after every 2 weeks or even 2 days? Like, they can come anytime they want? Because I thought after being cleaned up more than 30 days, the anxiety will become less painful or severe.

3) Or, it is just me who hadnt smoke weed for only two days because I am out of stuff, so that's why I am feeling this way?

Thank you so much.

1: You have abused the shit out of the drug and you will never be normal again with out waiting a VERY long time. Aim for a year, then if you chose to roll again after that, make sure you take proper 3+ month breaks between each roll without giving in. Its not hard, trust me.

2. Your anxiety isnt going to go away for 6months to a year, only time will heal it. Please research drugs BEFORE using them in the future. Now you must wait.

3. Abstaining from weed for a few days can make me a bit irritable, but its really not un-manageable. Id say its the abuse of mdma. (assuming you have tested this stuff and know its mdma)

PS: You can help the healing processes along quite nicely by eating healthy organic food free of pesticides.;) Stay away from Genetically modified foods as well.
 
i did not know that i have to wait foe a year to enjoy E again. i actually on my four months rest, now i have to wait longer :(

anyway, why the hell do i feel paranoid when i think back about the drugs and parties i have rolled before? i am traumatized when i got flashbacks where a friend of mine blacked out while dancing. i wish i can delete the awful memories in my head. sometimes it keeps haunting, i believe that's where my anxiety comes from.
 
I have generalized anxiety and panic disorder. It was unlocked due to drug use. I take temazepam now to help mitigate those feelings. If taken as prescribed a benzodiazapine can really help with those anxiety spikes. I also attend therapy to help find the reason I feel this way, and how to stop it. I dont always want to be on benzos, but I also know that it will take work to get rid of this anxiety.

Exercise and having a hobby helps me as well. It takes my mind off the things that cause me to get "stuck in my own headspace". Maybe try going for a walk with a friend when you start feeling that way, or try making a piece of art. Personally, I cook because it eases my mind to know that something I am making will nourish others, or delight their sweet tooth.

Lastly, steer clear of the MDMA for a while longer than four months. That stuff really changes the chemical balance of your brain when used very regularly. I'm not saying never take it again. I am saying that you need to give yourself a break and get into a better place before you do this again. It also regains it's magic when only used once a year at a special event.
 
Thank you for your opinion guys.
Right now I am trying my best TO NOT HAVE ANY THOUGHTS about MDMA. I do not feel like rolling, but I miss it so much though.
The worst part is that when my friends tell me they need to roll so bad, and the first question came to my mind is 'have you never had enough?

Again, thank you so much. All of you are supportive. You guys are the best.
 
Hello! Welcome to the forum

1) No way that 30 days is enough to overcome your abuse for the last 6 months, sorry to give it like that. A normal dose (~140mg) takes to the brain between 1 month and 45 days to recover what was lost. Imagine in your case, that you have no idea how much you consumed, and you did it every two weeks.

2) Yes, it's normal. Your brain is chemically unbalanced. You will need to give it time to recover. Some people takes between 3 and 6 months to recover, others over a year. The most important thing right now stop consuming all kind of drugs for at least, 6 months. This includes weed, LSD, alcohol and MDMA. You need to give your brain a break and time to heal. Brain recovery is counted in weeks or months, NOT days. So if you consume again after being clean 3 weeks, you will be back to zero, or even worst.

3) Weed is known to cause paranoia. You are suffering what we call a LONG TERM COMEDOWN, so you might start reading the info on this thread, it will surelly help you (and probably scare you so you don't do it again): http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/759049-MDMA-Recovery-(Stories-amp-Support-3)

The important thing to keep in mind is that the brain heal itself, so nothing that you did is permanent. It might take years to get back to were you were, but you will :)
While I agree with the most part of this post, telling someone that it might take years to recover is a bit contra-productive I think. It differs hugely between people and it depends on a LOT of factors (mental state, physical fitness, resilience, purity of the drug,...). Since part of it can most definitely be psychological, I think it's a bit ill-advised to rush in with such scare-tactics. I've done much worse than what the OP did and I was completely fucked up for two months, back to normal in three. Not years. Same for everyone I know that used to abuse MDMA hardcore. My advice to you KidsPls is to put this behind you for a while. After such abuse you are going to feel the after-effects for some time, accept that as the price you pay and don't concentrate on recovering, on your symptoms, on your mental well-being,... just try to pick up life as best you can and it will start fading away after a while. Last thing I would do is start to research your symptoms extensively and try to self-diagnose, the worrying and anxiety that can cause will make it worse. This is, in any case, not permanent
 
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While I agree with the most part of this post, telling someone that it might take years to recover is a bit contra-productive I think. It differs hugely between people and it depends on a LOT of factors (mental state, physical fitness, resilience, purity of the drug,...). Since part of it can most definitely be psychological, I think it's a bit ill-advised to rush in with such scare-tactics. I've done much worse than what the OP did and I was completely fucked up for two months, back to normal in three. Not years. Same for everyone I know that used to abuse MDMA hardcore.

I didn't say she was going to need years. I said it COULD take years. You've seen how different everyone is when they are on LTC. It's a possibility: I'm on my 10th month, and I'm not still 100% :)
 
^
Yeah I know. You provided a great reply, I'm not arguing that :D it's just that I know from experience anxiety and worrying have a huge impact on recovery, since MDMA in itself is known to cause anxiety afterwards. And so when you tell someone "it might take years to recover" and advise them to start researching and reading stories that might scare them, that might cause them to worry and self-diagnose which which in turn increases the symptoms, which again causes more worrying, which increases the symptoms... and so on, it's a vicious cycle. That's why I think it's best to just put it out of your mind and only seek further help when it starts to get worse or it's taking a long time to recover
 
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