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Percocet usage at age 13

My husband was adopted. He's an alcoholic, for the record.

Withdrawal day 2...wish I had the energy to write a better post. I will eventually.

You don't want this, sweetheart. I'm 35, my family doesn't know I do heroin. One thinks I buy pills for pain. I don't have the heart to tell them...no, I'm on heroin.

Never thought I'd be 35, in pain, and withdrawing. Just run. Run fast and far. Withdeawals get worse over time.

Take care and love yourself.

Peace.
 
i have been trying to go a week without any oxy and so far its only been a day and ive been craving it a lot, yet have managed not to give in, but not sure how much longer that will last.
 
Keep it up and stay STRONG. You CAN do this. And do it NOW, before it geys worse.

I am under the impression that you're self-aware enough to realize that trouble abstaining for a single day, being plagued by cravings, is a clear sign of danger ahead. You're clearly intelligent and I can only hope that you push yourself NOW to get through and past this, instead of continuing on this path, and creating a hell of a lot more pain and suffering for yourself down the line.

I wanna get this post up as fast as I can, in the hopes that it's enough support to prevent yoi from reaching for it. I'm gonna edit it and add more though right after I post this.

I want to tell you about how your current habit could end up totally screwing you over if you're ever really ill or injured.

Edit:

Ok, so a little bit about that. If you keep taking these, as you already know, your tolerance will rise. This isn't just something that occurs that's an annoyance, an.obstacle to getting high. It's far more serious.

If you ever get into an accident, or develop any conditions that cause bad chronic pain, or have surgery, etc etc, and you legitimately NEED pain control, you could find yourself in a very bad situation, with suffering that floors you.

So, when they pump you full of painkiller, or send you off with a script for, say, hydrocodone 7.5's....guess what? Since your tolerance is high, it won't be enough to take care of the pain. And you will more than likely have a hard time convincing the doctor to give you more. They'll see it as drug-seeking behavior. Or they won't believe you when you say,"Please ...it hurts so bad..."

Or, even worse...they will be wise to you. They'll know you've abused it and gone and raised your toletance. And they will note it in your medical records. Then, any time you legitimately NEED pain control, no dr will be willing to prescribe it to you. And you'll SUFFER.

Let me tell you a little about me...I NEVER imagined when I was growing up that I'd develop so many painful conditions. My spine is a mess for many reasons. I have arthritis. I have autoimmune issues. I am.in PAIN. Every day. It limits my ability to do things. It makes it very difficult to find jobs I can physically do, that pay me decently. It makes everything difficult, even just being in a good mood sometimes.

I tell you this because you literally NEVER KNOW how life will unfold in.your future.

Please, trust me when I say that if you ever find yourself in a situation where you're staring down a long term dance with physical pain, you DON'T wanna begin WITH a tolerance to opiates.

If your parents catch you...and if they're drug testing you, they very likely will....and they seek professional help for you? Bam. Opiate Abuse on your medical records.

Sometimes I wish I'd never taken the pain pills. Actually, I'd been scripted some light ones in my early 20's and I didn't take them. They didn't get rid of much pain (I was naive then and had unrealistic expectations), and made me tired. But then my.pain progressed over the years. I developed more health issies. It was so bad I literally couldn't sleep anymore. Pain prevented me from galling asleep, and woke me out of a dead sleep when I did manage to drift off.

(How'd I start heroin? I moved across the country and for various reasons didn't find another dr. I tried coping. I did ok. I'd get pills off the street now and then. Then pills ran dry...but I was offered heroin. I said no at first. But gave in from awful, visceral pain. Maybe another time I'll tell how I began daily use. For now, that's enough info .)

I still think back and wish I knew then what I know now. About withdrawals. About how it changes your brain chemistry. Would I have taken that script if I knew...? I'm not sure. As I said, the pain was running my.life and was so severe, and I tried everything you're supposed to and then.some. But I feel like I probably would've either tried to hold off as long as I could've managed, or, I wouldn't have taken them daily. Only if I really couldn't cope.

Edit:I So, here I am now, desperately researching my health problems, looking for a non-opiate and affordable and preferably natural solution. I don't actually WANT to be a slave to opiates, even though my level of physical pain is sufficient to merit narcotic painkillers. I don't WANT to deal with horrible withdrawals, sleepiness, and a numbing of emotions. I never took this crap to kill emotions but by its nature that's what it does. And that's not necessarily a good thing...it makes bad situations in life....somehow more easy to settle....when you should be making changes in your life to better yourself. That numbness doesn't inspire you to rise above difficult circumstances. I was very naive
then.
See, they do a wonderful thing... they take away unbearable pain. It's a Godsend to those really suffering. But there's another side, too.

My story isnt unique.

These chemicals deserve respect. Theu have their place. But if you're taking them for fun...it will not last. And you could find yourself FUCKED one day if you truly
need help.

How are you hanging in there? Still haven't reached for one, I hope?

Keep posting, sweetheart. There's a lot of support here for times when you feel weak.

If you ever wanna PM me that's fine. Like I said, my husband grew up in a similar circumstance. It's natural to at least be curious, and I know there are lots of little things you think about, too.

Stay strong, Love. You got this :-)

Are you into art or any form of creativity, by the way?

Peace.
 
Last edited:
Youngbird909 said:
i have been trying to go a week without any oxy and so far its only been a day and ive been craving it a lot, yet have managed not to give in, but not sure how much longer that will last.
Click to expand...

Do it while you still can. This will get worse and given the age you have, that could really harm your life entirely as it will prevent you from defining who you really are or should be.
Don´t let this screw up your plans. This is nothing compared to what you may have to go through later on when nothing works and you just need to use to avoid getting sick.
It´s not a life you would want for you. I promise you that!
 
That shows u the obsession your mind has with oxy if u have major cravings just going a day without it..but good news each day will get easier..if u continue to use it will only get harder to stop and the cravings will get worse..u can do this.. it will take some will power but u seem like your pretty experienced for your age so u can handle it
 
No I haven't used any yet and I never thought of the injury thing, I do plan to keep my tolerance under 20mg at all times by taking brakes if I notice that it's weaker. And if that does ever happen I could just get some from a dealer but that's only if I have the money to spare for it.
 
Hey, how're you holding up?

The point you made about just getting it from a dealer...

Yes, you could do that. But, it's not really that simple. There WILL be hell to pay, in some form.or another.

First, yes, money can.be an issue. As your tolerance rises, it will become more and more of an issue, too. At first, I wasn't spending more than it would've cost me to see a doctor and pay for prescriptions. So I thought,"Right. This isn't so bad! Plus I'm terrified of doctors. So, this works!"

Nope.

Now my tolerance costs me more money.

And let me tell ya how Murphys Law always seems to be at work. On my worst days, when.I'm suffering most, either from my own physical pain, withdrawals, or the worst hell...both at once...guess what? I swear to God, it's those days that you can't get a hold of anything. Or it takes hours that feel like years when you're sick.

You can't exactly lose your temper with a dealer who has what prevents withdrawals. You wouldn't want to piss them off and have him go,"F*** this person, they don't even have much money for me today anyway."

Just make sure you have more than one source, you say? Good luck not getting supremely ripped off in the process. I mean, they're selling hard drugs. Very few dealers are seriously "professional". Many do their drugs and their lives aren't stable. And uf THEY don't rip you off, whoever is your middle man will. Because that's how you find sources. Or, you approach a stranger, and risk asking the WRONG PERSON, and now you're in jail. And now you have a record. And now employers will see your record. And now you've limited yourself, because it WILL be held against you at least sometimes.

And when your dealer isn't responding? Hmm...are they busy, are they ignoring you? Or, are they sitting in a jail cell while law enforcement sees you texting and/or calling their phone, which is now "evidence"? Will you be paid a visit by law enforcement soon?

There's more, more ways to suffer, more ways to get in trouble. Those are a few.

It's never simple. The risks all around, on every level, are high.

Don't set yourself up to INVARIABLY, INEVITABLY suffer.

And what others have touched upon, about your teen years being spent relying on any drug to feel positive emotions, to cope with problems, etc...how once an adult you won't know yourself, you won't know your strengths and limits, or how to cope with stress, ...they're correct. These years are SO crucial in learning, preparibg for adult life (which, truly, gets strange, difficult, challenging...in many ways, life is a trip!), and you will find yourself unprepared.

And it will cause suffering.

Suffering isn't glamorous, it's suffering.

Do you enjoy creative pursuits at all?

I hope you're holding up ok.

Peace. :-)
 
@abetterway

I have been doing fine and I think I will look more into Kratom (if I can get it somehow) And what is a "creative pursuit"
 
Would you ever be interested in giving something creative a try? There's no wrong way, it's YOURS.

And/or what are some of your interests or hobbies or just anything you like or enjoy?

How have you been doing with the pills?

I hope you're well.

Peace :)
 
Bro, some times when im jones'n for that next shot of dope ill just pick up my guitar and jamXD it takes my mind off all the bull ahit that life throughs at u for the time being! Maybe u should give it a try, mate!

Hope u and all the other bluelighters struggling with addiction are doing good!
 
I second that! I play guitar (not so much lately bc of physical issues). When I do, and I just give myself over to the music, I feel wonderful :)

Peace.
 
Have you ever tried your hand at something creative, like guitar playing, for instance?

What kind of music do you like?

It's just really a great way to pass time, have fun, gain confidence (you'll be proud of yourself), and sharpen the mind :)
 
Man, I hate seeing stuff like this.

13 years old... smart enough to know what you're doing, but only because you haven't felt the consequences. I wish I knew how to reach out to you in a way that would just click... but you've already heard anything I could say and more from the people here... and yet I know (like all of us do) that words aren't going to help you.

Even if you do, for whatever reason, decide to stop taking them.... you still have to go through 14... and 15... and so on. Each one of these years is going to be filled with mistakes, and filled with things that when you'll get older you'll tell your friends about. You'll laugh about it... "Hahaha, if only I knew, right?"

This is not one of those moments.

This is the moment you will look back on and wish more than anything that you could save yourself from. This is the moment that you'll wish you could look back and say "we were all dumb once!" ... but you won't be able to, because it will follow you. You don't believe it, and you're confident that you won't end up addicted, because you're strong minded and you're not a drug addict... you just don't want to feel bad. You like feeling good, and you don't see the harm in it as long as you keep it under control. There's only one problem:

No one, and I mean NO one started their lives as addicts. No one believed it would happen to them.... but it did. It didn't just happen one day... it happened over the course of many days... weeks... years of staring in the mirror, convincing themselves that the could stop whenever they wanted to.


Look, kid... I'm not going to sit here and tell you what's best for you, and I don't want to belittle you by saying you're too young to understand what you're doing either... but I AM saying that you have an opportunity in front of you right now:

Take the opportunity to discover life and potentially find happiness, or lock yourself into the chains of addiction at an age so young that your body will never escape from them.

The choice is yours.
 
Hypothetical question. Answer with the FIRST THING that pops into your mind.

So, say you find a hook up for more pills, and somehow, you also have some money (whether from working or any other possible means).

What will you do? Be real. Be honest.

Peace.
 
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