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Methamphetamine Discussion Thread 3.0

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god ive lost the fucking plot. been spinning in and out of psychosis lately accusing everyone and their dog of plotting against me, had physical fights with two more people and just generally lost my shit in a bad way. cant get away from this damn stuff whenever i try go a day without it i get so flat, tired, depressed and sore I'm like forced to have a twirl and brighten up.

if i more than 24 hours without sleep and food- boom psychosis. luckily I've been recognising it more and more so i just get the fuck out of places. plus I dunno how i still have a job ffs. been the biggest cracker at work.
 
@ ThatOneDude!
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bro dont stress. PM me if you like. I'v danced with the devil many of times and have immensly enjoyed it, just dont let him get full control
 
My cousin get's the hugest clouds from tin foil, I have learned to circular breath so I can smoke as much as I want out of a pipe lol

oh jesus h christ tin foil gets you high as gods balls if you do it properly. an asian mate had me chasing about a point off it at once and my eyes were practically laser beams after that ;)


fuck me I'm on some good ice, got a bottle of JD I'm downing and I've got fat little shard left plus i got about half point packed into the pipe *pauses for a quick toke, blows out a fat cloud* OOOhhohhhh yeaahhh!!
 
im looking for a pipe atm, just IVed 1 p got me all up and going again after I was almost G---ed out. I got 1 big rock left and gonne get me self a pipe and hopefully some sexy pussy
 
Just took 5 days off, no drugs , worked 3 of those days, fuck it's difficult to not be on speed while working , but those days of I slept like 12 hours each night and no today I'm blasted .... I'm gonna get sober to the point wher I'm sober 80 percent of the time and only use meth for music creation / special occasions
 
Strangely enough one of my old friends contacted me today to say he would be able repay the favours ive done him.

He lived with me for a week and in that time we shared a gram of ketamine, A fair few tabs of very clean LSD, 1-2g of pure as fuck meth, 1-2g of very pure cocaine, lots and lots of pot and probably other stuff too. Then oneday he just ran away nd I didn't see him againe for a long time. It could hve had something to do with the fact that we always fucked heaps on the meth and coke and he's straight(im gay) and maybe he felt ashamed at the time but I know he's fine with it now.

So tonight he bought over some shards and pot and we had a shot, a few pipes and ended up going for a drive to a really nice beach(Terrigal Haven if anyone is familiar) and he played the guitar while I sang. It was incredibly relaxing and I feel that I am able to trust him again which is great because he's a very similar person to me(drug fucked, generally confused with life and he'll get it on with me if theres no chance of him getting any female action so im glad he dropped in)

We are going to go fishing at about 4am and hopefully catch some big fish :)
 
ketaman, i totally just let a guy stay for a week, didnt fuck(both straight, i think?) but i loved how u said u were both the same:drug fucked, generally confused with life and he'll get it on with me if theres no chance of him getting any female action so im glad he dropped in.only difference is im straight and will never change, but im so drug fucked theres no turning back. It seems the only remedy is a shot (of h and benzo) to send me to the stars forever...
 
^^I feel the same way too, ive been seriously contemplating suicide by way of a massive shot of heroin and lots of Benzo's but I'm trying to change these thoughts because I've been suicidal before and then things have gotten better again and I would have totally regretted it if I was able to regret such a thing.

In the most basic description, Life is just series of ups and downs and so people have more ups or downs than others and some more intense ups or downs than others. I seem to have long extended periods of being totally full of sadness and disappointment with where I have led myself in life but nothing is permanent and you can always turn things around. I suggest you consider getting on anti-depressants and stay off the meth and other drugs because they are only a temporary solution.

I've just been awake for 3-4 nights(I cant even remember how long to be honest) and have decided this has to be my last time using meth ever, I've made that decision before and everyone knows how unbelievably psychologically addictive the stuff is but the negative effects I'm suffering from at the moment is far beyond anything I've felt in a long time and I'm just so sad and feel completely hopeless, I just cant do it anymore. Its either suicide or quit. As I mentioned elsewhere, I've had hundreds of dollars stolen off me while obliterated, I has a bong confiscated off me which has fucked up my probation, my partner has left me due to the drug use and unpredictable behaviour which has absolutely broken me. He's the only person I've ever loved and I fucked it up, I actually cant even finish writing about that because it will make me cry. And theres just so much more that explaining it all would take up pages, but im done. If I cant manage to quit im just going to do myself in because when you have no quality of life then what is the point of enduring total sadness every waking hour.
 
Meth sux the big one K-man, no doubt. I was a raging addict for many years and I am sure glad I gave it all up. I hear you on the sadness mate, I was clean for 8-9years and now I'm a chronic pain patient addicted to oxycodone. I hope you find the strength to pull through this dark cloud you're under mate - trying to manage a meth habit and losing your partner is a hell of a lot to take in. You must be a wreck no doubt, you really need to sleep though, not that you're new to this or anything but your decision making abilities after being awake for days is poor to say the least. Get the sleep you need, it is the best medicine right now. Hope you're ok man.
 
Dude just stop , cmon we all are addicted , but when it comes to life vs death i choose to live , and the choice becomes much more ckear and simple... drugs are supposed to befun period
 
^^I feel the same way too, ive been seriously contemplating suicide by way of a massive shot of heroin and lots of Benzo's but I'm trying to change these thoughts because I've been suicidal before and then things have gotten better again and I would have totally regretted it if I was able to regret such a thing.


I've just been awake for 3-4 nights(I cant even remember how long to be honest) and have decided this has to be my last time using meth ever, I've made that decision before and everyone knows how unbelievably psychologically addictive the stuff is but the negative effects I'm suffering from at the moment is far beyond anything I've felt in a long time and I'm just so sad and feel completely hopeless, I just cant do it anymore. Its either suicide or quit. As I mentioned elsewhere, I've had hundreds of dollars stolen off me while obliterated, I has a bong confiscated off me which has fucked up my probation, my partner has left me due to the drug use and unpredictable behaviour which has absolutely broken me. He's the only person I've ever loved and I fucked it up, I actually cant even finish writing about that because it will make me cry. And theres just so much more that explaining it all would take up pages, but im done. If I cant manage to quit im just going to do myself in because when you have no quality of life then what is the point of enduring total sadness every waking hour.


That sounds horrible mate. Good to see you've come to a realization that you need to stop. Not going to be easy but your life will improve dramatically.

With the Benzos and Opiates overdose. It's not exactly a pleasant way to go. Your body still tries to cling to life and hearing from people who've come close to death - it's not pleasant at all. It's definitely not a peaceful drifting off to sleep as some people think.
 
Reading this thread makes me glad I have never been into the Ice. I liked the old 90's speed have a few lines etc and not be up for days.

ketaman your posts remind me of the doco I watched on p and p . Dudes smoking lots of shard , rooting unsafely and getting all sorts of stuff, hope you told your "straight" friend how he potentially could be hiv + and pass it onto his wife/gf...
 
ketaman. I was put in the weird position by a very good mate when we were on eccies(not real 1s, they fucked us up tho) and a shitload of shard.

I had the feeling my mate who moved a lot of meth had gay tendency's after this night I was assured that I was correct. Idk how it started that night but my mate asks me or jokes about mates helping each other out and saying shit like c'mon bro close your eye's and just pretend I'm a girl. I told him to stop it and laughed it off.. This was over a year ago now and my mate now I think is obsessed with me, Other people have made comments to me about how he will do anything for me so I should ask for tic or whatever.

We have sort of sat down and talked about it he knows I will never do anything with him. I'v told him I will set him up with another gay guy (my uncle and cousin are both gay) but he declines and with a sad look on his face says nah.

Meth fucks you up cause this block was 100% straight before he started dealing and seen how low females go for drugs, This was his reason he told me that he turned by-sexual. I said of course your only gonna meet crack whores when you do what you do. He just replies and say's how am I meant to find a nice girl when I do this...

I'v offered ideas for him to find straight girls but his not really as keen as he says cause he still does nothing different.. It got me wondering though how many guys would let a drug dealer suck them off for drugs. I can't understand it! I hear people give head, take it up the arse who knows for drugs.... idk but that's the time your truly drug fucked when you start trading your body for drugs
 
the problem with Ketaman is not that he is addicted to drugs, the problem is that he is addicted to the combination of drugs and sex, which is an entirely different ball game and much more difficult to deal with based on what I've heard and researched.
 
i thought suicide was a selfish way to end things, but now being balls deep in the depth of a manic, raging, psychotic self, i really sympathise for the stigma and shame that comes with it.

Moving schools 14 times, along with states and countries while growing up, has lead to very serious psychoanalysis, bold personality(to combat bullying and stand guard as the new kid) and narcissistic heartlessness, as to avoid close and miss-able contacts. It was always me who was the centre of my universe, and all my peers were merely pawns in my next placement to the outer world. A very confusing experience to even fathom as a person to never experience this before. The upside is, it made me incredibly smart as a young kid, that they even bumped me up a grade(which was the worst decision ever! as i moved to WA and they don't allow you to be up a grade. Since then i just coasted and couldnt have been more destructive!)

I find meth mimics bi-polar, as these highs and lows ive felt before. This makes my comedown a whole lot more bearable. Ive felt these highs and lows before, aint so bad? but the heights, oh the heights... mmmmmm
 
^bump , totally hear you guys.... I call it "self-induced hypomania" ... whatever goes up must come down,, and its hard to put yourself to bed when your riding a high and already been up a day or two.... I've got it down to where Ill do black and meth for like 4 days while staying awake and recording my album.....and then go sober for anywhere from 5 days to 10 or even 15 days....

I also work three times a week... which i can manage my job easily in either state (whether sober or not) Its funny because i've just chilled out so much in the past year, but before that I was pretty haywire on the meth , staying awake for so many days i'd loose count. I put myself through so much misery chasing that damn high, but in the end you can never really sustain it without your body just gives out and you feel that you need (and are justified) in obtaining heroin or other addicting opiates..... which starts the whole cycle over again.... and one day you wake and realize that your fucking more miserable than you were when you were sober at any time, and you HAVE all the drugs you could possibly desire yet you are completely melancholy and bitchy , mopy self pitying fucker.... resign man... sigh, say goodbye, and in the end you will end up TRULY higher
 
This drug has me by the balls. i can't quit and I've accepted the fact I'm not so slowly going insane. Ive stopped swirling so goddamn much at once, and been taking valiums both to sleep and to ward off psychosis. But still I'm losing it. Work is the worst because i absolutely cannot work unless I'm tweaked, but my shifts go for 6-8 hours so i have to smoke a fair bit before work to stay going the whole time, which= psychosis. Im pretty close to losing my job I've been acting weird as, boss is all over it. Ive been bringing the pipe and regularly ducking to the toliet to blow a cloud and come back. getting on everyones nerves. Ive had to try so hard to keep it together and not lose my shit at work which I've managed to do so far but its been hard and like i said they are all suss on me.

No work til saturday night though which is alright. The toll this drug takes on your body is horrendous. I try and look after myself eat as much as i can etc but i still look like I've aged like ten years since start of 2013. I'm only 22 almost 23 ffs. When i started getting into the ice most weekends/almost everyday around end of 2012, i was 82-83kg, went gym reasonably often, fairly fit not fat at all. Now i weigh 70kg :O. Its flipping ridiculous. Im 6 foot 2 so I'm pretty fucking skinny. Always got circles around my eyes, shitty skin with pimples and i just look plain fucked to be honest.

I end up eating only like once a day if that. Try eat some fruit and stuff but its hard to have full big meals when your tweaked as fuck mostly just stuff like noodles, biscuits, sandwiches etc

Plus my teeth are starting to look pretty bad too. yellow as and some are hurting and starting to die. cigarettes and cones dont help this either though.
 
why does this site log u out so quick even after u have logged in? da fuck


your posts are always a good read ketaman i just lol'd at your mates who thinks he's straight that comes and fcuk u like wtf he aint straight then son!


Meth can turn dudes gay though, or least bring out homo tendencies for sure. I've been hit on by a few crackheads. spun me out something bad
 
This drug has me by the balls. i can't quit and I've accepted the fact I'm not so slowly going insane. Ive stopped swirling so goddamn much at once, and been taking valiums both to sleep and to ward off psychosis. But still I'm losing it. Work is the worst because i absolutely cannot work unless I'm tweaked, but my shifts go for 6-8 hours so i have to smoke a fair bit before work to stay going the whole time, which= psychosis. Im pretty close to losing my job I've been acting weird as, boss is all over it. Ive been bringing the pipe and regularly ducking to the toliet to blow a cloud and come back. getting on everyones nerves. Ive had to try so hard to keep it together and not lose my shit at work which I've managed to do so far but its been hard and like i said they are all suss on me.

No work til saturday night though which is alright. The toll this drug takes on your body is horrendous. I try and look after myself eat as much as i can etc but i still look like I've aged like ten years since start of 2013. I'm only 22 almost 23 ffs. When i started getting into the ice most weekends/almost everyday around end of 2012, i was 82-83kg, went gym reasonably often, fairly fit not fat at all. Now i weigh 70kg :O. Its flipping ridiculous. Im 6 foot 2 so I'm pretty fucking skinny. Always got circles around my eyes, shitty skin with pimples and i just look plain fucked to be honest.

I end up eating only like once a day if that. Try eat some fruit and stuff but its hard to have full big meals when your tweaked as fuck mostly just stuff like noodles, biscuits, sandwiches etc

Plus my teeth are starting to look pretty bad too. yellow as and some are hurting and starting to die. cigarettes and cones dont help this either though.


I got a similar story to what your going through with work. I used to depend on it for work sswell and then one time i went through an 8 ball of 4-MAR in a fortnight with no sleep for two weeks and i ended up thinking everything was on to me so i ended up cleaning my whole house out at the time where i was living looking for bugs (electronic devices, not ice bugs lol) and found a couple legit ones lol i ended up turning that job in just out of the sheer fact i nutted it after being awake for 2 weeks straight and just thought fuck it id be better of quitting everyones onto me anyway the guy i shouted a burn at work a few times ended up telling the bosses i was a meth head so yeah that wasn't good best to get out of there.

Hang in there man, if they know its because some bastards told them shit or they are backstabbing you. O how i miss the old days of rocking up to work with some gear and smoking it in the toilets before starting :(
 
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