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help!! how do i help him stay sober.

tonja

tonja

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Mar 15, 2015
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my husband is a meth addict currently he is trying again to stay sober I know it's not easy I don't think I help because I have them about everything that's going on or that have happened recently I'm not sure how to keep myself calm from everything so I can help him stay sober I need some advice how can I help a meth addict stay sober do I make life easier for him to be clean with out stress in his life?? or does he has to want to and no matter how good the environment is will an addict find an excuse?? I love him and I'm not sure what to do I know lots of people tell me to let him go but I don't even know how to do that anybody with some advice please help me I'm open for any suggestion whether it's good or bad
 
Honestly I'm sorry to say but as addicts, we will do what we want. If we want to use a certain drug, then we become set and determined. Never take an addicts decisions personally.
 
Riverdawg78 said:
Honestly I'm sorry to say but as addicts, we will do what we want. If we want to use a certain drug, then we become set and determined. Never take an addicts decisions personally.
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Additionally I will just add/reinforce that he will quit when he truly desires to do so! You can help but he will have to decide..
 
Sometimes an addict needs to lose everything before they ever want to change, even that isn't guaranteed though. I know what made my cousin quit, his wife left him and took the kids until he could be a good role model for them.

Obviously that is drastic and should be a last resort. In the mean time, stick around as long as you can tolerate it but make sure you are not enabling him and allowing him to do things that put yourself and safety of your home at risk.
 
He is always mad and latley he makes me feel like i am on egg shells and he is very snappy with me. It is going to wear me down and that scares me i do not want to be weak.
 
As an addict myself I had to be put in between a rock and a very hard place. Fortunately I chose to stop using. You either hit rock bottom or come to some sort of an awakening of sorts.
Right now you need to think of yourself. I know it's hard when you love someone so much but to be blunt about it he loves his drug of choice more than he loves you right now.
Keep a clear head and weigh the pros and cons of dealing with his addiction.
Best of luck. And sorry for not sugar coating it but I know first hand how the mind works when on drugs or actively seeking them.
 
Americanfloosie said:
As an addict myself I had to be put in between a rock and a very hard place. Fortunately I chose to stop using. You either hit rock bottom or come to some sort of an awakening of sorts.
Right now you need to think of yourself. I know it's hard when you love someone so much but to be blunt about it he loves his drug of choice more than he loves you right now.
Keep a clear head and weigh the pros and cons of dealing with his addiction.
Best of luck. And sorry for not sugar coating it but I know first hand how the mind works when on drugs or actively seeking them.
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That's very true. And, there is no really sugar coating. It's what it is. Well said.
 
I feel like today i am at a cross in the road and i need to choose stay strong and continue even though blaming is getting bad and hurtful. I have always given up and let it go back the way it was. I want to stay strong I asked myself today how bad can it get? wrong question to ask. OR i can save myself and be done even if i know it will result in his destruction of himself. If I choose this i must never feel guilt if something happens!!!
 
tonja said:
I feel like today i am at a cross in the road and i need to choose stay strong and continue even though blaming is getting bad and hurtful. I have always given up and let it go back the way it was. I want to stay strong I asked myself today how bad can it get? wrong question to ask. OR i can save myself and be done even if i know it will result in his destruction of himself. If I choose this i must never feel guilt if something happens!!!
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If you give him the ultimatum of getting sober or you leaving him he will quit if he truly loves you he will do it for you at first and then eventually he will want it for himself it happened with me and my girlfriend
 
I gave him the ultimatum wow its going very emotional but i am not giving in..
 
Riverdawg78 said:
Honestly I'm sorry to say but as addicts, we will do what we want. If we want to use a certain drug, then we become set and determined. Never take an addicts decisions personally.
Click to expand...

This. I'd also add what Erikmen said and say that if he wants to become clean and sober it will be his choice.

What you're describing with him becoming very angry and having to walk on eggshells is common with people who are into meth.

Try looking into CMA crystal meth anonymous and they have a group where people who are the friends/family members or spouses of meth addicts can go for support and advice.
 
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I feel alone he left. My world is changing and i am nervous and scared and i still have yet to reach out to a friend i pushed them all away i am embarrassed of everything
 
Hi Tonja.

It will get better. I know this is hell for you right now. But leaving him is really best for you. I hope you can find some help near you. I'm from the netherlands my self. Keep strong you can do this.
 
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