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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

Who thinks I will be sacked today

Bob Funkhouse said:
Don't go into work- make up a good excuse for not being able to go in and not phoning on time. I'm sure more blers will come along with some feasible good excuses =D.....e.g.your pet got hit by a car and you've been at the vets and in distress (actually could be plausible if you play it right and manage not to sound too fuckerood).

Failing that just turn up and work like a motherfucker and win them over with charm :)

Good luck
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Problem is not phoning on time. Try the boss but tomorrow will come pretty fast, it gets worse then..
 
englandgz74 said:
Just out of.curiosity josh what did the paramedics say (I'm assuming an ambulance was Called) when they saw that utter blood bath that resulted when you fell down the stairs?
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I have absolutely no idea! I apparently refused to be helped into the ambulance though, I walked there myself. Next memory is being in hospital in the CT scanner. Next memory after that is about a month later, no recollection of the couple of weeks I spent on a ward. Plenty of embarrassing stories though, my boss came to visit me and I apparently got out of bed to show him how bruised my arse was :/
 
Showed him you arse!! Haha!!!

I'm sure if you rang you local ambulance station they would he more than happy to fill you in on what happened....you don't even need to speak to the same crew...I've no doubt the entire station is more than familiar withvtge story by now....

Amusing anecdotes travel fast :)
 
englandgz74 said:
Showed him you arse!! Haha!!!

I'm sure if you rang you local ambulance station they would he more than happy to fill you in on what happened....you don't even need to speak to the same crew...I've no doubt the entire station is more than familiar withvtge story by now....

Amusing anecdotes travel fast :)
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It was nearly 5 years ago now though. I've no doubt it was shared at the time though.

I'm sure I already posted them already, but here's a couple of the evidence pics from the police "investigation" - they were also involved because I wasn't with it enough to be able to tell them I hadn't been assaulted. Unlucky for the ex-girlfriend of 7 years who had just dumped me, she was prime suspect for a bit! :D The second one is by the fridge (the first where I landed), judging by the pool of blood, I spent quite some time there, maybe I couldn't decide what to eat? I also bled all over the bathroom and bedroom, so I'd managed to make it back upstairs too :/

https://www.dropbox.com/s/miuilp60t02fa5c/P6210134.JPG?dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/s/3pz2u9nyn6fmpz5/P6210145.JPG?dl=0

Drugs are bad kids! Don't do 'em :(

(and yeah, showing my arse is becoming a bit of a thing for me, I can see).
 
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Josh said:
It was nearly 5 years ago now though. I've no doubt it was shared at the time though.

I'm sure I already posted them already, but here's a couple of the evidence pics from the police "investigation" - they were also involved because I wasn't with it enough to be able to tell them I hadn't been assaulted. Unlucky for the ex-girlfriend of 7 years who had just dumped me, she was prime suspect for a bit! :D The second one is by the fridge (the first where I landed), judging by the pool of blood, I spent quite some time there, maybe I couldn't decide what to eat? I also bled all over the bathroom and bedroom, so I'd managed to make it back upstairs too :/

https://www.dropbox.com/s/miuilp60t02fa5c/P6210134.JPG?dl=0
https://www.dropbox.com/s/3pz2u9nyn6fmpz5/P6210145.JPG?dl=0

Drugs are bad kids! Don't do 'em :(

(and yeah, showing my arse is becoming a bit of a thing for me, I can see).
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Fucking hell mate...I've seen the pics before but still.

Often though claret looks worse than it is in terms of actual blood loss when it on the floor.....

Sometimes even a few hundred mil looks like the texas chainsaw massacre when it's all over the floor and walls...

You should see the amount from a catastrophic bleed...propper messy..

Glad your ok tho mate :) <3
 
Made it through, even had a second shot at lunch, had to go for a very long walk before I went back to the office though :)
 
Bob Funkhouse said:
I'm sure more blers will come along with some feasible good excuses
Good luck
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Here's one you can probably only use once.
You've been burgled. You couldn't phone in on time as they nicked your phone. The burglars broke the door so you've got to wait around for locksmith, police, landlord.

Any jabbering from being a mess can be put down to shock.
 
If you never told them I would of said you would of been cool, cause when your truly fucked no matter how hard you try you type like you had just smashed your face of the keyboard and you didn't type like that ,but wouldn't try it again dude I know sometimes we have to maintain ourselfs but dont push the limits or you will have no job to buy drugs

Out of pure noesy-ness what do you do?
 
You never know... His job might be a TV extra playing the part of someone fucked up on a shit tonne of drugs....

In which case he might actually get a pay rise and promotion rather than a P45 ?
 
I once snapped my key in my lock and had to break a window and climb into my flat. Whilst sweeping up the broken glass I looked up and saw two cops through (what was left) of the smashed bedroom window...one with a tazer pointed at me and the other with his truncheon drawn. After explaining it was my house and producing some ID, the cop phoned the locksmith and glazer for me (he said they would arrive quicker if the call came through from a policeman). He then got his first aid kit from the car and helped me dress the gaping wound in my forearm that now was pissing blood from cutting it on the broken glass (later required 18 stitches).

He was one of the nicest coppers I've ever met.....the very fact he didn't tazer me left me extremely grateful. :)
 
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Last time I called a locksmith he opened my door with one swoop of his (credit?)card and charged 150 euros for that twenty seconds of labor =D Tho I'll take that extortion over 18 stiches any day, and I'm not a terrible climber. How high was your flat gz?
 
lurching said:
Last time I called a locksmith he opened my door with one swoop of his (credit?)card and charged 150 euros for that twenty seconds of labor =D Tho I'll take that extortion over 18 stiches any day, and I'm not a terrible climber. How high was your flat gz?
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It was a downstairs flat. The window was roughly 4 or 5 feet off the ground so I pushed my wheely bin up against the outside wall and climbed in. Actually it was my neighbour who called the police cos all she saw was someone climbing ontop of the wheely bin then a pair of legs disappearing through the window lol!! ?
 
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