i have read this thread, lots of times exiting sharpish as the urge for heroin is live and kicking, i have recently just come totally clean after a two year love affair with heroin. just came of subs two weeks ago after only two month using them to get ''normalish'' as the mask was slipping, i sorted myself out for other people if am honest, not because i dont want smack cause i do but the hassle it comes with it hurts others around me, but i am simply not ready to walk away, selfish i know.
i want to use and i know it is a ticking bomb, i will use sooner rather than later, i am a sucker for punish perhaps, but i also love a toot.
also another big problem is i am kinda all or nothing guy, when i hit the gear is a massive binge being a big benzo lover even before smack is another issue in its self.
i dont even know why i am here writing this, perhaps cause there is no one else to talk to, maybe letting it out this way will go some way to helping me, although i suspect nothing is going to help part from of course using heroin, although i am very determined i wont be on the hunt everyday again for gear, though i understand that is easy said after being in the ''it wont happen to me camp'' cause i know a 2 year habit is still the honeymoon period compared to what could of been.
all the reasons why i got clean where for other people, bird, family etc but none real genuine reasons for myself, i am not happier well sometimes i think i am but am not i miss gear, money just gets used else where, so money is still the same, only certain people knew/know and i genuinely couldn't give a fuck anyway, smack beats there opinions. also coming of 16mg a subs was a walk in the park, easily double again but hopefully it wont be necessary as i dont plan on the habit again, well shall see, but after this long without smack being the junkie again looks more desirable than anything else.
site is great as well btw
