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Which drugs have permanently altered you in a bad way?

Yeah, Thank you Erik!
They are sneaky meds, as they DO have some withdrawal… but not as severe as Heroin etc… but I think the Strattera, and the others may have left me with some minor issues as far as being in public and not hearing the person in front of me, but people in the background more loudly… leaving me unable to focus well. I deal with it and it's okay but a minor irritation being around a lot of people, which I am often.
I might have had some of this problem looking back in childhood (ADD as I was put on Ritalin), but not that noticeable iirc as it is now.
I'm grateful though… things have been ALOT worse and I'm alive today, living … moving through the world in healthier ways. :)
 
fizzymk said:
I think once you experience the opiate high, or really any kind of drug induced high, its literally impossible to forget this, when i talk to my dad about my H opiate problem, He says he cant understand it fully, because he claims he has never used any drug (not even pot), so its tough to explain how addiction happens...I just tell him to imagine taking a pill and then you are instantly in a great mood, no aches or pains, motivated to do just about anything, perform well at work, etc...he said it sounds great...and it is, thats the problem, its too good, so of course someone will want to ALWAYS feel like this...thus starting your addiction.

even when someone quits a decade, they NEVER will forget how that drug made them feel, if they can figure out a way so people CAN somehow forget this feeling, I think this would cure addiction right then and there, anything less is just trying every day to overcome the urge to use
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yeah normal people dont get it..what made my case even worse is i would take a stim of some kind, adderal or ephedrine and then id get a hard workout in, then shoot heroin and my god, that feeling is beyond anything that can be experienced naturally..so many levels beyond and i think it has permanently altered my perception of pleasure..

i dont think the majority of posters on this thread understand what i meant by my post..i meant even after abstaining from a drug for years or more, the damage that is left...
 
Erikmen said:
Sorry to hear that. I didn´t know mood stabilizers would change your perception that much. You´ve mentioned routine meds and that´s really something to be concerned as most people I know have no idea about that.
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who knows what long term damage ssris and other scripted meds cause?i know a few people that have been rendered impotent from using paxil and proscar(finasteride)...
 
belfort said:
who knows what long term damage ssris and other scripted meds cause?i know a few people that have been rendered impotent from using paxil and proscar(finasteride)...
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Ive heard that about Paxil as well.

I wonder if H and/or general opiate use would have some kind of long term lingering effect on someones sex drive/ impotency issues, as whenever I get into using opiates long term, (which pretty much has been the last 15 yrs!) I literally have ZERO sex drive...go for many many years like this, even if they quit dope, going THAT long with no sex life, has to have some kind of effect on ones 'junk'...right? I have had sex during this 15 yrs LOL, but not as much had I not been using, the desire is just not there, even the times I have fucked, its like Im bored with it, sometimes have gone limp half way thru, and had to just give up. girls I know who use alot get this way too...kinda scary to think someone MAY never get their drive back!
 
Erikmen said:
That´s very accurate. It´s impossible, you will always remember how cozy, warmth. It´s like everything is where is should be and fill you with warmness and joy. I´m afraid your dad can not possibly understand this. He´s never gone through anything near that..
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IDK, Ive heard they can hypnotize people to stop overeating, stop smoking, Im not sure on the success rates on this, but it must work for some people...not sure if someone could be hypnotized to 'forget' what drug effects were like, Id imagine someone, somewhere has tried this tho, Id be curious to find out how they felt afterwards.

Furthermore, (and Im no brain surgeon LOL), but it seems like doctors MAY be able to isolate what part of the brain 'remembers' how drugs make them feel, dont know if its in the MU receptors or not, but seems like they could somehow 'erase' (for lack of a better word) someones memory of a particular thing...if its not possible right now, Id think we are getting close tho, I mean, this COULD save alot of people A WHOLE LOT of pain, probably be helpful for victims of molestation, rape, etc too.
 
Hhmm, permanent damage years later?
Well, for starters & background, I've done everything, but Crack & opiates, specifically oxycodone, old school 80s, heroin, hydromorphone/oxymorphone, etc are prime choice. I've been sober from them for let's see, 3.5 years, or so. I now have seizures, opioids decrease seizure threshold, never had one previously. I'm super ocd now as well. It used to be healthy perfectionism, now it's paralyzing obsession with natural order on a Howard Hughes level, although germs aren't involved in my ocd. I go dark (shut phone off, don't leave the house, or speak to nearly anyone), when I'm between jobs. I lock myself away in a self-imprisonment because of anxiety. I sweat costantly & profusely, my hands shake, etc, so people automatically assume you're on drugs, when you're not at all in professional environments (I'm a grad of the math & physics fields) & I don't drink, so it's not booze. I don't date because, although women are interested, I can't even deal with myself some days, so I can't see involving a woman in my daily life. Furthermore, I am not bi-polar, or schizophrenic, by any means, just anxiety to 150% & ocd. So, before drugs, which I started @ 12, so who knows if these things would have manifested regardless, I was perfectly fine. Healthy & fine in my mid twenties, but in that decade had five surgeries from illness & injury, so it precipitated my natural inclination towards opioids. In other words, even if drugs don't fuck up my health statistically (I'm in perfect health by the numbers, athletic soccer player levels), they have devastated my ability to function normally. It's impossible currently. Consequently, I don't regret a thing, I love that warm, cozy, refreshing hug from god. I miss it, haha. Thanks for the cathartic thread, homie. Peace.
-Jūäņ
 
I think a lot more about God and life after death than i did before i decided to take psychedelics... although i dont really know if that has to do with the drugs or if i would have ended up like this anyway....

i quit everything except for soda since october and i still have these thoughts about if God is real and other dimensions and just tryna figure it all out... what happens after we die??every day and i kinda wish i didnt think about this stuff so much... i wanna just enjoy my life as it is... kinda hard to explain what i mean by that...

i wish i never even take drugs... i think i would be a happier person... im not saying im depressed or anything like that... im actually the happiest iv been in a long time since i stopped using... but ther are still some aspects in life that i feel like i will never be able to enjoy like other people can...

I have always had those thoughts about supernatural and philosophical stuff since i was a child but i feel like the psychedelics made me think about em even more... maybe too much
 
Smoky said:
Yeah, Thank you Erik!
They are sneaky meds, as they DO have some withdrawal… but not as severe as Heroin etc… but I think the Strattera, and the others may have left me with some minor issues as far as being in public and not hearing the person in front of me, but people in the background more loudly… leaving me unable to focus well. I deal with it and it's okay but a minor irritation being around a lot of people, which I am often.
I might have had some of this problem looking back in childhood (ADD as I was put on Ritalin), but not that noticeable iirc as it is now.
I'm grateful though… things have been ALOT worse and I'm alive today, living … moving through the world in healthier ways. :)
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I´m glad to see you have moved on. I remember the first 90 days. You are quite strong!! I´m now sober without the helping of mtd
it´s been quite difficult. Keep up and keep on moving :) All the best!
 
Honestly, from what I have read, SRI / SSRI's, ect.. The WD is a hellish path, one I wish upon no BL broj's. Say you're coming off effoxor, you've been on it for years, how long of misery are we looking at? Also, Smoky, you are one down ass broad and I'm glad you kicked lovely :), I know it's a bitch and a half, yet here you are, alive'n'kickin (I mean this in the non-RLS way)!
 
Hey hey ty ykm, The more I remember the last couple years, I am realizing it's not just the physical pain that got me back on the opiates, but getting off SSRI's. I realized recently that I quit those 1.5 years ago, ehh… just cos I didn't' want to pay the copays anymore… bad decision, and within a few months I was back on opiates. I didn't make that connection at the time. The withdrawals are weird, very different ….quite insidious drawn out torture than straight up intense 1-2 week heroin withdrawal. I wonder if I didn't get off the Paxil if I wouldn't have relapsed. I thought I just had a very bad cold… Straight up stupid thinking at the time, but it has regrounded me again, and glad I went through it

It's a completely different w/drawl process - but it IS indeed there. It's own personal hell
 
Opiates. I will never feel true happiness again. Ive been thinking of this a lot lately. I rather use as long as I can and then take myself out with a hot shot, then live with the craving and missing of opiate bliss and blanket warmth for the rest of my life.

I get get jealous of the people In the bluelight shrine. (Rip)

i know now that's sick but it is what it is
 
It will pass.
Took nearly 18 months for opiate PAWS to subside for me.
Life isnt perfect, but i cope with 'the everyday' now.
Its a tough battle buy worth it.
Keep going kids.
Focus on your diet, exercise, distraction. It will pass.
 
fizzymk said:
Ive heard that about Paxil as well.

I wonder if H and/or general opiate use would have some kind of long term lingering effect on someones sex drive/ impotency issues, as whenever I get into using opiates long term, (which pretty much has been the last 15 yrs!) I literally have ZERO sex drive...go for many many years like this, even if they quit dope, going THAT long with no sex life, has to have some kind of effect on ones 'junk'...right? I have had sex during this 15 yrs LOL, but not as much had I not been using, the desire is just not there, even the times I have fucked, its like Im bored with it, sometimes have gone limp half way thru, and had to just give up. girls I know who use alot get this way too...kinda scary to think someone MAY never get their drive back!
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yess from personal experience, opiod use seems to have forever altered my sex drive...im still very apathetic about it, i dont chase sex like most men...probably has something to do with testosterone levels, opiod use can deplete them..yes, while on opiods sex didnt matter at all...
 
wezface said:
Pretty sure I have permanent PAWS. opiates now make me feel normal. It sucks. :(
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yep, same here, i have been clean from opiates for 7-8 years and i still have leftover paws symptoms..its unreal, the anhedonia, general lack of zest for life, uneasy in your own skin at times...had i known what i know now...
 
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