English/British insults

[pharmakos]

hey EADD. i'm an American, going to temporarily invade here though to ask a European slanted question.

i live in a rural area of Michigan, and somehow a 62-year-old London-born Englishman found his way here and is now working with me at an automotive factory. he's started teaching me some English slang and insults. his favorite insult is "syphilitic fuck pig." what are some good English/British insults that i could toss back at him when i see him at work again on Monday?

it may be worth noting that he almost got offended when i called him British -- he insists that he is not English, but British. "When I went to war I fought for England" he said,

 

[Sadie]

Oh NW there are soooooo many! As an American living over here I hear some top craic! Seeing as it's 5:30 am here I can't think of one ATM but I'm sure my fellow eadd'ers here (once up) amuse you no end!!!!

 

[ColtDan]

Loads

I love creative insults but annoyingly cant thing of any at the moment.. maybe Wank stain. just combine a load of stuff together and throw it at him, i bet he'll v impressed

 

[Shambles]

Bounder.

Cad.

Cuntchops.

I can - and will - go on...

 

[ColtDan]

Go on

Bounder doesnt get used down 'yer

 

[Shambles]

Two of the above may have been for comedy purposes...

Cuntybollocks has always been a fave.

 

[ScotchMist]

If you want a good comeback, go and lick your moms face :D

 

[Shambles]

Or lap up the pool in the small of your dad's back.

 

[One Thousand Words]

Who are ya? who are ya? who are ya......

 

[pharmakos]

some decent responses so far but none of them top his favorite "syphilitic fuck pig"

would really like to one up him if possible

 

[ScotchMist]

Syphilitic Silly Billy

 

[pharmakos]

no way can i use the word "syphilitic" in this comeback

would be too much like that one closing scene from harold & kumar

 

[ColtDan]

Dont think i've ever heard the word syphilitic used anywhere

Do americans use the word tosser or ponce? gormless? wankpot?

 

[ScotchMist]

Trichomoniasis mong-a-tron

 

[Sadie]

I can - and will - go on...

yes you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Sadie]

no way can i use the word "syphilitic" in this comeback

Of course you can dear boy! It's all about delivery!




Sorry I just assumed you were a boy..

 

[ponch]

Tosser

Ponce

Prat

Wanker

Cunt

Bellend

Nonce

Twat

Ballbag

 

[ColtDan]

It's all about delivery!
.

Tis indeed

 

[Sammy G]

Out-of-work actor.

Nine bob note.

Fuckin' plank.

Bowsy.

Fuckin' weapon.

 

[ColtDan]

Fucking northern monkey