• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CLXXXIII - Christmas Trees are for presents,not masturbating under. IMO..

Good evening all,

Quickly passing through; had the most excellent of days, took me quite by surprise as I usually thinks Christmas is a bit of a pain...

I'm off to hit the sofa and finish off this chocolate stuff and I may even get a kiss off of her who's next to me seeing as she's pissed and thinks I'm wonderful at the minute. Best make the most of it until she wakes up next to the twat again ;)

Enjoy enjoy enjoy all :)
 
"The Mahabharata or Mahābhārata (/məhɑːˈbɑrətə/;[1] Sanskrit: महाभारतम्, Mahābhāratam, pronounced [məɦaːˈbʱaːrət̪əm]) is one of the two major Sanskrit epics of ancient India, the other being the Ramayana.[2]"


OK, it's time for me to take a break... and read up upon Hindu and Islam scripture. I done the hard work with Christianity, read the entire Bible back to front. Now it's time to look at the other religions. Are they from the same source? like the same light reflected through a prism, manifest themselves so differently. But true in their source? Or do they differ, like seeds planted both good and bad...
 
Raasyvibe said:
"The Mahabharata or Mahābhārata (/məhɑːˈbɑrətə/;[1] Sanskrit: महाभारतम्, Mahābhāratam, pronounced [məɦaːˈbʱaːrət̪əm]) is one of the two major Sanskrit epics of ancient India, the other being the Ramayana.[2]"


OK, it's time for me to take a break... and read up upon Hindu and Islam scripture. I done the hard work with Christianity, read the entire Bible back to front. Now it's time to look at the other religions. Are they from the same source? like the same light reflected through a prism, manifest themselves so differently. But true in their source? Or do they differ, like seeds planted both good and bad...
Click to expand...

Buddhism is worth putting on your list too. They say it came from Hinduism, Buddha himself being one. I feel Buddhism is a good grounding / architecture of belief and living practise that actually makes a difference.

How is your mum? - stop ignoring me and update me.
 
Sleep has come in forms of in and out consciousness. I knew I was terrible with sleep but the last few days have been beyond my normal crap sleep.

Wake up after a couple of hours to a very foggy and slightly snowy day. Think I'll spend the rest of the day curled up into a wee ball.... Back to work tomorrow....I just want to be selfish today..... Maybe some cinnamon tea or some hot chocolate..... UGHHHH
 
Well it's day three awake wired and tired..5 etiz and more booze but sleep won't come but fuck it...got through a Christmas with probably a little more chemical and alcoholic help than was probably necessary however seem to have come out the other side remarkably so far in quite a good place. Christmas is such an emotive time..probably for many of us. Dysfunctional and very missing family, dredged up memories of more halcyon days of this time past.

I am pretty fucked so just humour me...have made more of an effort to join the real world recently and catch up with old friend's who to my surprise have been worried, say I have been missing in action and they miss me and query why I have avoided their calls etc...so wrapped up deluded, drugged, down that finally the penny has dropped that I have been in totally avoidance and denial mode...things are gonna fucking change...apologies for diatribe drunken realisations and maybe even an epiphany.

Just got off the phone to someone and positivity and their happiness may have been a little infectious.

And to snoo it off the song I have been searching for years has finally appeared on youtube...so to love, new beginnings and a few people here that may know this is for them too.
 
kate said:
That's drastic Josh, no wonder you are in so much discomfort <3 Are you not offered other means of pain relief like TENS or even meditation techniques via psychological services? I appreciate I have no idea about your condition, so maybe those methods have been tried and tested and don't work?...

Have you read any Jon Kabat-Zinn - he is known for helping people in pain and illness. His work is based on mindfulness. Maybe something like that would help you to cope with the constant pain of your condition and stress.

Hugs x<3x
Click to expand...

Hopefully I won't get shot down for only ever talking about my colon again, but here's a brief history of my condition:

Oct 2012: emergency subtotal colectomy and ileostomy to remove toxic megacolon by laparotomy, after a short bout of ulcerative colitis which didn't respond to steroid or anti-tnf drugs. Colon perforated, infecting liver and kidneys. A week in ITU followed by the longest 6 weeks of my life on the colorectal surgical ward. Six week ileus, NG tube to stop me vomiting green digestive fluids to the tune of four litres per day, lost a third of my body weight, unable to eat for six weeks was feed by TPN via a PICC line. Laparotomy got infected and popped it's staples, leaving an 8" long by 1" deep open wound to my abdomen, took 4 months of daily packing to heal. Pics available.

Aug 2013: most of my rectum removed. Ileo-anal pouch (called j-pouch due to the way they bend it round and sew it into a pouch) formed from 18" of ileum (small intestine), stapled to remaining rectal cuff. End ileostomy switched to loop. 6hr keyhole surgery and a week on the colorectal ward again. Surprisingly not too painful.

Oct 2013: "takedown", loop ileostomy reversed and j-pouch activated. Another week on the colorectal ward. Farted and pooped for the first time in a year. Stoma site surprisingly painful, looked like a gunshot wound. Pics available.

First half of 2014: admitted to the colorectal medical ward three times (average stay 4 days), due to "cuffitis". This is inflammation and ulceration of the 5cm of rectal cuff that was left behind to attach the pouch. More prednisolone (steroids) and infliximab (anti-tnf), not trivial trug treatments, side effects fucked me up and the colitis remains. Visiting the bathroom every hour for most of this time.

Second half of 2014: day case EUA on two occasions to address fistulae and abscesses. Two seton stitches installed and a golf ball sized abscess drained from my butt cheek, leaving a 1cm open wound about 1cm from my arse hole - it still hasn't healed. Pic available. Discover during EUA that I'm not suitable for "pouch advancement", whereby the mucosa in the rectal cuff are scraped out, removing the remaining tissue that is susceptible to colitis. Start of accept that the pouch has failed. Booked in for pan-proctocolectomy with permanent ileostomy by laparotomy in early 2015.

Thanks for the info about alternative pain treatments though. I'm hopeful this is nearly over and I won't need pain treatment for much longer. I've not really suffered acute long term pain (apart from the ileus in 2012, that was agony and I don't know if I'll be able to avoid it again this time - it's likely caused by excessive handling of the small bowel). It's mostly the discomfort caused by ten to twenty watery bowel movements a day (pretty damn sore most of the time) and occasional bouts of what seems like arthritis (another autoimmune disease) affecting my hips, knees and ankles. I'll definitely check out the author though, could be something to read in hospital in January!

Sorry for the long post. I'll bookmark it and send people here if anyone ever asks again. :p
 
Josh said:
Hopefully I won't get shot down for only ever talking about my colon again, but here's a brief history of my condition:

Oct 2012: emergency subtotal colectomy and ileostomy to remove toxic megacolon by laparotomy, after a short bout of ulcerative colitis which didn't respond to steroid or anti-tnf drugs. Colon perforated, infecting liver and kidneys. A week in ITU followed by the longest 6 weeks of my life on the colorectal surgical ward. Six week ileus, NG tube to stop me vomiting green digestive fluids to the tune of four litres per day, lost a third of my body weight, unable to eat for six weeks was feed by TPN via a PICC line. Laparotomy got infected and popped it's staples, leaving an 8" long by 1" deep open wound to my abdomen, took 4 months of daily packing to heal. Pics available.

Aug 2013: most of my rectum removed. Ileo-anal pouch (called j-pouch due to the way they bend it round and sew it into a pouch) formed from 18" of ileum (small intestine), stapled to remaining rectal cuff. End ileostomy switched to loop. 6hr keyhole surgery and a week on the colorectal ward again. Surprisingly not too painful.

Oct 2013: "takedown", loop ileostomy reversed and j-pouch activated. Another week on the colorectal ward. Farted and pooped for the first time in a year. Stoma site surprisingly painful, looked like a gunshot wound. Pics available.

First half of 2014: admitted to the colorectal medical ward three times (average stay 4 days), due to "cuffitis". This is inflammation and ulceration of the 5cm of rectal cuff that was left behind to attach the pouch. More prednisolone (steroids) and infliximab (anti-tnf), not trivial trug treatments, side effects fucked me up and the colitis remains. Visiting the bathroom every hour for most of this time.

Second half of 2014: day case EUA on two occasions to address fistulae and abscesses. Two seton stitches installed and a golf ball sized abscess drained from my butt cheek, leaving a 1cm open wound about 1cm from my arse hole - it still hasn't healed. Pic available. Discover during EUA that I'm not suitable for "pouch advancement", whereby the mucosa in the rectal cuff are scraped out, removing the remaining tissue that is susceptible to colitis. Start of accept that the pouch has failed. Booked in for pan-proctocolectomy with permanent ileostomy by laparotomy in early 2015.

Thanks for the info about alternative pain treatments though. I'm hopeful this is nearly over and I won't need pain treatment for much longer. I've not really suffered acute long term pain (apart from the ileus in 2012, that was agony and I don't know if I'll be able to avoid it again this time - it's likely caused by excessive handling of the small bowel). It's mostly the discomfort caused by ten to twenty watery bowel movements a day (pretty damn sore most of the time) and occasional bouts of what seems like arthritis (another autoimmune disease) affecting my hips, knees and ankles. I'll definitely check out the author though, could be something to read in hospital in January!

Sorry for the long post. I'll bookmark it and send people here if anyone ever asks again. :p
Click to expand...


ooh let's see! please please!

Raas said:
The Mahabharata or Mahābhārata (/məhɑːˈbɑrətə/;[1] Sanskrit: महाभारतम्, Mahābhāratam, pronounced [məɦaːˈbʱaːrət̪əm]) is one of the two major Sanskrit epics of ancient India, the other being the Ramayana.[2]"


OK, it's time for me to take a break... and read up upon Hindu and Islam scripture.
Click to expand...

The mahaba-what?? that's got to be the most drunken I've been in a long time. Merry Xmas. Now going ccompletely clean for a while, adios folks
 
10866738_10152921236961425_633749025_n.jpg
 
Raasyvibe said:
ooh let's see! please please!
Click to expand...

Actually I was thinking I'd send them to people who were interested in a PM. People who I trust not to just save them in order to use them against me at some point in the future.

Anyone but you basically.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top