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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 2)

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Something interesting I thought may help: my uncle suffers from something called TMJ, it can be mild or severe, it's very common in mild cases. It's basically mild problems with either jaw joint and the surrounding tissue but the effects can be quite severe, dizziness, headaches, head pressure. I mention this because I remember reading a while ago about many 90s ravers now having jaw problems from the frequent gurning! If your jaw clicks or pops a lot when you move it or you have an obvious underbite / overbite then it's worth looking into. It also seems to be one of the most affected places from muscle tension associated with severe anxiety.
 
Hi Guys. Holidays are approaching and I just wanted to check in and provide some hope for those suffering. I also went through a LTC, it all started 8 months ago, one month after a very bad trip I had (mdma not tested, was definitely cut with something nasty).

Suicidal thoughts , panic attacks, anxiety, DP, DR , headaches, muscle twitches all of that I too suffered from. I also had many set backs, usually after drinking or smoking, or taking other drugs during this period (took coke twice). But after a few setbacks I decided its time to be fully responsible and listen to my body for once, so I stopped everything for 2 months (continued exercising every day, doing yoga and eating healthy). My recovery went uphill from there.

I am now 100% recovered, and I enjoy life more than I ever did before. I stopped smoking, taking drugs (all of them) and I drink occasionally but nowhere near to where I used to.

Everyday brings joy and I have to say its because I went through this hell on earth. It had taught me life is precious and beautiful and that the body and mind are one. Take care of your body and your mind will be at the right place.

I wish you very Happy Holidays , and good luck in your recovery. You will all make it. I promise.
 
@lovelife:
Thanks dude!
Made my day :*

I made a huge progress the last 3 months (6,5months in now) but last weekend I crashed after drinking heavily and smoking some pott(First time in LTC). Depression and anxiety came back really hard.
How was your feeling after doing "drugs" again? Felt like you were thrown back to square 1? How fast did your setbacks dissappear?

And how important was it to stop smoking cigarettes you think?
Im smoking a pack per day and dunno if Ill make it without. Only if its necessary.
PS:Your message storage is full ;)
 
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inzania said:
I know it might sound unmanly but i dont care. Most of the day i've been crying seeing as i cant work and i might not even be able to visiting my family over christmas due to my symptoms.
I feel that to much stimulus (sounds,people) makes my symptoms temporary worse. My self asteem is at rock bottom, and the feeling of hopelessness is killing me slowly.
I live in a city all alone where the only comfort i get is from my therapist. I regret that i overdid it that night. I regret that it cost me my job and my good income that i worked 8 years
to get and that i completly destroyed in 1 night. Seeing that theres nothing i can do more then wait and pray that i will get better is so damn hard. I know its not a long time.
Ive had this shit for 6.5 weeks. Im so scared and weak and dont know what to do. I just wanted to share what im going through as not even my doctors seem to care/understand.

The symptoms that i have follows:

* "Dizziness" (as if my eyes dont sync) from the moment i wake up to i go to bed. This has lessened compared to week 1-2 when this all started.
* Dizziness feeling in the head as if im on a boat.
* Blurry vision. My near-sigh is fine and feels quite normal. I struggle some reading texts on the web.
Beyond a few meters nothing that i see looks sharp. Ive never had any eye problems before.
its like my eyes can focus.
* Pressure behind my eyes.
* Halos arround light/starbursts. Streetlight and christmas decorational light is the worst.
* Headaches that come and go quite frequent.
* Tinnitus that i manage to deal with most of the time.

New symptom that started 4-5 days ago:

* Visual snow. Ive had this shit all my life in a mild/unnoticeable form that never affected me. But last few days its gotten intense.
While some of my symptoms start to get slowly better is been replaced with this issue. Its worst in the morning and everything looks really
grindy. For people who dont know what it is heres a good example: Visual snow
* My eye adaptation to darkness is nearly non excisting.
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Hi. I had all of this and much much more. 3.5 months now. The first 2 are definitely the worst.
 
me2point0 said:
^cant wait to hear the story/results.

i was never convinced with the brain damage theory. We all think one pill will fuck us over but the truth is, the studies indicate that brain damage shows itself progressively is a gradual curve with drugs induced everyweek nonstop on the subjects. Many people like me only thook 1 pill even on their first time amd ended up here. I thought my adhd medication that is amohetamine-based caused my condition, but I thought of all my friends that did speed after molly so many times without ended up here. IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING ELSE. Even if its not his vitamin theory.

for those who are covinced that your little neuros are burned and stuff like that, knowing my story should convince you otherwise, it should give you hope. I was healthy, not on any drugs that could interact, I thook ONE pill and ended up here. Have we ever seem one mdma pill burn an entire brain like that? Not even close. Dont link brain damage articles if you dont know for sure you have it. Real brain damage people dont end up like us overnight.


I sincerelly hope this post will change the way this thread thinks and posts their ideas on this. Let's stop with the broken brain theories, and head anorher way

thanks,

-guy who isnt brain damaged
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One bad drug usage can cause DP/DR which causes anxiety, depression, brain fog, paranoia, panic, low appetite, and vision problems.

Many people experiencing a LTC experience DP/DR. But not all of those experiencing DP/DR are in the midst of a LTC.

So no, your neurons might not be burned out.

But you are still facing a terrifying and difficult to treat mental illness. So show that due respect.
 
lovelife1 said:
Hi Guys. Holidays are approaching and I just wanted to check in and provide some hope for those suffering. I also went through a LTC, it all started 8 months ago, one month after a very bad trip I had (mdma not tested, was definitely cut with something nasty).

Suicidal thoughts , panic attacks, anxiety, DP, DR , headaches, muscle twitches all of that I too suffered from. I also had many set backs, usually after drinking or smoking, or taking other drugs during this period (took coke twice). But after a few setbacks I decided its time to be fully responsible and listen to my body for once, so I stopped everything for 2 months (continued exercising every day, doing yoga and eating healthy). My recovery went uphill from there.

I am now 100% recovered, and I enjoy life more than I ever did before. I stopped smoking, taking drugs (all of them) and I drink occasionally but nowhere near to where I used to.

Everyday brings joy and I have to say its because I went through this hell on earth. It had taught me life is precious and beautiful and that the body and mind are one. Take care of your body and your mind will be at the right place.

I wish you very Happy Holidays , and good luck in your recovery. You will all make it. I promise.
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Congratulations on your recovery. I am on 110 days and can't believe how far I have come since month 1. I have noticed significant headway in the past few weeks (since starting clonazepam). Stay strong, everyone.
 
kracke said:
Do you also have the same problem as me to feel like shit after wacking up in the morning. I can sleep full 9 hours and if a stand up in the morning it feels like i hardly got any sleep.
So feeling tired and fatique.
What can i do against that. Do you think it is brain fog?
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I used to sleep 12 hours a night. Your brain needs it, so let it happen.

Sometimes I would sleep 9-10 and still need to nap in the day.

There's not a lot you can do about it. Maybe exercise will help you balance out faster.

Brain fog alone doesn't make you tired but it goes hand-in-hand with depression and serotonin depletion.
 
Tpchan85 said:
Preface: If you suffer from IBS or other bowel problems please read my post and take it seriously.

Hey all.
So I'm 9 months in and I'm somewhere in normality. I'm going to say something controversial: for many people here drugs have little to nothing to do with our condition. We have been told constantly that MDMA is a drug that may cause brain damage etc. We get ill and we rationalise that it must have been brain damage from this dangerous drug. Hence an ensuing loop of anxiety stoked by low serotonin and fueled by the internet on threads like these begins making us dismiss any actual health problem that may exist.

Why have I come to this conclusion? Because after 8 months of being dismissed by doctors I was finally diagnosed with vitamin B12 deficiency as a result of malabsorption due to celiac disease. I notice MANY people on this thread mention irritable bowel syndrome or other bowel problems which cause malabsorption. Drugs and the raving lifestyle deplete micronutrients our body absolutely NEEDS to function correctly anyway. Even n2o balloons deplete B12.

Some common deficiencies that mimic "LTC" symptoms:

B12 deficiency
- Numbness tingling
- Severe anxiety, panic attacks
- Heart palpitations
- Chest pains
- Dizziness
- Muscle twitching

Magnesium deficiency (calcium deficiency is similar)
- Severe anxiety, panic attacks
- Heart palpitations
- Insomnia
- Muscle twitching
- Memory loss

Other deficiencies that cause problems: Iron (easily detected), Potassium, folate

You cannot treat these with a multivitamin and a bit of exercise. You need to be diagnosed and given shots / pills.
A lot of you are probably thinking your doctor has done some blood tests and cleared you so there can't be a problem - doctors dont run these tests by standard, they do not consider lifestyle, malabsorption etc and will often miss problems like these. Another issue i telling doctors you have taken drugs will stop them from running tests they should because their medical guidelines tell them drugs -> anxiety, case closed.

Il write my own personal story below.
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Thanks for the info. Many LTC sufferers include B6, B12, and magnesium in their stack (I did, for a long time). I now see why it's so important.
 
Don't forget there is also self blood testing available through sites like lifeextension, directlabs. Of course you have to pay for it out of pocket though so only do the tests through here if doctors refuse to order them. And yes, there are HPA axis and vitamin/mineral blood tests out there that I suggest people should get. I will list them again (all 8 AM): Pregnenolone, Testosterone, DHEA-S, Cortisol, ACTH, LH/FSH. You can also go to the forum on this site http://www.definitivemind.com/ to learn more about HPA Axis dysfunction, commonly referred to as adrenal fatigue.

According to my doctor, it isn't uncommon for someone to suffer these symptoms after a drug like MDMA or LSD or whatever since some people's bodies are more sensitive and the HPA axis takes longer to recover.

Also, for those that are recovered/approaching recovery--how do you know when you are back to your normal self? I'm approaching recovery but I keep questioning if I am "back to normal yet"
 
Strangestuff said:
Don't forget there is also self blood testing available through sites like lifeextension, directlabs. Of course you have to pay for it out of pocket though so only do the tests through here if doctors refuse to order them. And yes, there are HPA axis and vitamin/mineral blood tests out there that I suggest people should get. I will list them again (all 8 AM): Pregnenolone, Testosterone, DHEA-S, Cortisol, ACTH, LH/FSH. You can also go to the forum on this site http://www.definitivemind.com/ to learn more about HPA Axis dysfunction, commonly referred to as adrenal fatigue.

According to my doctor, it isn't uncommon for someone to suffer these symptoms after a drug like MDMA or LSD or whatever since some people's bodies are more sensitive and the HPA axis takes longer to recover.

Also, for those that are recovered/approaching recovery--how do you know when you are back to your normal self? I'm approaching recovery but I keep questioning if I am "back to normal yet"
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I gauge it by factors like capacity for work, training, social events etc.

BTW, could you elaborate specifically on your treatment? Which hormones are you taking specifically? Route of administration? Do you supplement with precursors or other stuff on top of those?
 
ScaredFirstTimer said:
I gauge it by factors like capacity for work, training, social events etc.

BTW, could you elaborate specifically on your treatment? Which hormones are you taking specifically? Route of administration? Do you supplement with precursors or other stuff on top of those?
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Hey Scared,
tell us about your medication.
Did things improve?
 
I found that coming down of MDMA meant sleep. This was hard to come by, but I found (aside from using benzos), anything with tryptophan (bananas, turkey meat) helped. Also warm milk (gross I know but I found it helped) and even Liquorice tea (go figure!). Oh and exercise if you can manage it ;)
 
ScaredFirstTimer said:
I gauge it by factors like capacity for work, training, social events etc.

BTW, could you elaborate specifically on your treatment? Which hormones are you taking specifically? Route of administration? Do you supplement with precursors or other stuff on top of those?
Click to expand...

Sure. I need to say this though--the hormonal route is not a quick fix at all. You still need to simultaneously do some form of stress reduction, nutritional support, and exercise along with it. Also I forgot to mention--its necessary to also check Estradiol (E2) before starting anything and monitor it as well. You can read up on that at bodybuilder forums. My T was lowish and fluctuating between mid 300s and mid 400s.

Well technically I am not taking any exogenous hormones as part of my treatment--I am taking the medication Clomid. TRT is not necessary at this point and I am young for TRT. I had secondary hypogonadism low T (which means problem is at pituitary or hypothalamus) since my LH/FSH were low. My cortisol was in the low-normal range on a blood test and low on a 24 hr saliva test. Pregnenolone (the precursor hormone) was also very low but I didn't supplement with that since the dr said its not that well researched so for now don't take it. Instead, I upped my LDL and total cholesterol levels which were low and possibly also contributing somewhat through diet.

The Clomid is a SERM medication which blocks the E2 receptors in the hypothalamus and thus it releases more GnRH and pituitary releases more LH/FSH and you get more T. However, what happened is that I felt a lot better at first in 3 weeks but then it backfired on me since my E2 levels skyrocketed and the Clomid itself is estrogenic. So then I had to lower dose and taper off and now im feeling better again but its going to take even more time for my body to readjust to not having this medication. On top of that, the medication's half life is 1 week so it takes like 2 months to exit your system. Incidentally, my cortisol levels also balanced out with this but I did NOT take any hydrocortisone.

Other supplements: Vitamin D 2000 IU, Vit K2 100 mcg, B complex, B12, Magnesium citrate, Ashwagandha, Zinc 3x/week, Vit C

Other meds: Ativan 0.5 mg as needed, I only use it like once a week if at all.

How is your Tianeptine going btw?
 
Strangestuff said:
How is your Tianeptine going btw?
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Deltronpedro said:
Hey Scared,
tell us about your medication.
Did things improve?
Click to expand...

Well I'm 11 days in to treatment, so it's really too early to give a legit report but still stuff is happening. The first couple of days was good. I got an instant mood boost and anxiolytic effect, maybe due to the opiate activity of Tianeptine. After 5-6 days my depression worsened drastically, and I had a couple of evenings where I was basically suicidal and debilitated by depression. Since saturday though I've felt great. I have an underlying sense of well-being and a faint happiness that I haven't felt in many months, maybe since this whole thing started. I seem to have more energy and a better mood. I really hope that this is a sign that it is working and how its effects are going to be.

I'm really optimistic about this.

I'm only taking 1/2 the recommended therapeutic dose, 3 times a day, and I'm unsure of whether I'm ever going to increase it.
 
I might be the only one experiencing this but, when I dont sleep at all, tge next day my veins are BLOATED as hell. My arm veins are huge and soft. When I push the blood it hurts alot. Also, BIG pains in my arms. Similar to neuropathic pains. Annoying as hell. Didnt have this first 5 months.
 
Well guys, was almost completely out of my LTC until my work break up weekend just gone, took a pill and am feeling pretty damn out of it again! But to all those still in this mess, it does get better with time!
 
Cursedzx said:
Well guys, was almost completely out of my LTC until my work break up weekend just gone, took a pill and am feeling pretty damn out of it again! But to all those still in this mess, it does get better with time!
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Shit, I know this feeling.
When we get unpatient we do stupid things.
I wish you the best for your recovery, keep it going!
 
Hi, all. I have two questions (and I hope they are appropriate):

1) Do those who get inflicted by LTC usually have a history with anxiety? I have read most of this thread and several separate ones, though not the previous MDMA recovery thread, so I guess this question goes to those who might have formed an impression based on years of reading about LTC here.

2) To those who have recovered and say they enjoy happiness again: How would you compare this happiness with your most euphoric experiences on MDMA?

PS. The quality of the posts in this thread is remarkable. Thanks, guys, and please keep it up!
 
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