Chicago Heroin v. The return of Chinky

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Mori - I'm not fucking you with you either, but I'm answering your question with some advice based on my experience...

here's a suggestion...go see a psychiatrist. take it seriously. get meds if you have to, because all of that stands a chance to improve the condition of your life. in all seriousness.

you got a problem with anxiety, and you want to disconnect for a moment (for one second of the day...ok I get it, maybe a little longer)? and you want to start using heroin to accomplish this? put aside the chance that you and your car are just as likely to be pinched by CPD because you really don't know where to go looking, as you are to pick up the first few times you try. and put aside the fact that that situation will more than likely increase your anxiety a bit, and you will really want to disconnect for a minute or two once you're inside 26th st.

say you do pick up, or some hooks you up, and you get what you want...good and high and anxiety-free and not a care in the world. Fuck it, sister, I've been there, that's why i keep going back there, i know exactly what you're talking about. best short-term solution for any problem in my life. lasts about 15 minutes. you'll be all set.

and then, maybe you chip a little, cause it works and you like it, and you don't get pinched by the fuzz...but now you got a lil' habit going. just a thang. and then you try to quit, and the anxiety is worse, and you get high again, cause you get a little sick, nothing serious...but you can make it better with a little dope...and then you run out and the anxiety is even way fucking worse, cause your last jab was cut with some shit like a benzo or who knows what...and that's when this shit takes off, maybe in a month, maybe a year...but suddenly things go south...

and eventually, you wind up in treatment, and if you're lucky, you want to quit, and you wind up seeing a therapist, and you're on meds, and it improves the condition of your life.

See what I'm saying? Can't you just smoke some weed or something and chill out, or seriously, talk to a doctor about having anxiety? Because potentially becoming a heroin addict to help "solve" some issues seems like a big leap....

I'm just going on what you're saying, maybe there's more to it than you want to get into, but man, coming from someone that wishes I never fucking relapsed three years ago, and never picked this shit up again, it just seems crazy that if you don't already have this issue you wanna impose it on yourself. Believe me, I'm not making fun of you or making light of your problems, but really, don't add this on top of whatever else you got going on...It just doesn't end well most of the time. Really. Almost every fucking person posting on this thread above you wants to quit and get straight right now (except Pizza King, he's straight for fuck's sake, and still dealing with craving and wanting to get high....) - have you read any of it?

Peace, sister. Think about it. And as a woman out there, you are so much more susceptible to some nasty shit that goes on than any dude on the street. That's no lie.
 
@NSB "Think about it. And as a woman out there, you are so much more susceptible to some nasty shit that goes on than any dude on the street." That's no lie.
Well said, man. I hope she will listen to at least that part. ...If nothing else.
It's like you wish you could communicate the down right nasty side of this shit we are going through, to someone that is so anxious to use dope. I'm trying to reconfigure my habit everyday. Try to use only in the morn. or only at work or only at night. This shit has absolutely consumed me to a point that, that's all I'm thinking about is how to modify my habit to be able to eventually taper down. Cause I'll be honest, going cold turkey, scares the shit out of me. I made myself a promise that I won't use at night...aaand got seriously wasted last night. It's like nothing seems to work. It's like this shit has a mind of it's own. My g/f is threatning to call my work and tell them to drug test me, just so I get fired...But what about the $ I saved in the bank? And all that free time I would have?
Yeah, pizza? yeah, good for him. But he's going through shit too. I hope Momento reads some of the posts of people that are going through shit trying to quit. Instead of trying to elieviate anxiety with heroin. Like you said and like I feel. I have never had as much anxiety in my life as I have had with dope involved. Especially, when I'm running low.
You want to hear about anxiety? I was by my buddy's house and we were talikng outside my car the other day. One of his nosey neighbors decided to call the police for some kind of disturbance.A cop pulls up and then another, while the whole time I'm fiddling with a jab in my coat pocket. Anyway, asked us what we were doing, ran my license and let me go. The whole time I was hearing him say "Do you have anything illegal on you? Mind if I check for my own protection?" That's fucking anxiety.
@Welder. Good for you, man. Good to hear. I was wondering what happened to you.
Peace Everybody, be well.
 
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haha I've been on meds and I've seen a psychiatrist & still currently am. That isn't going to solve what I'm trying to solve exactly ;)
 
I wouldn't be starting I would be continuing use, you are assuming I'm a first time user which I'm not. But thanks for the advice I think hah
 
Continuing and continued ocassional use have a completely diff, meaning in this subject, memento. You are looking to party and escape your anxiety, I get it but what Northside was trying to communicate to you is that occassional partying with this stuff can turn into something that can lead to more enxiety than good times. I answered your PM and told you what I thought you should do. Other than that, the only thing I can tell you is to be careful. The water gets really deep, really dark, really quick. With a lot of undertow.
Later.
 
Been off smack for a year and a half and for some reason am itching today. I started when I lived in minneapolis. Never got around to trying anything in chicago even though I am from here. Used to love getting low and just chilling. nostalgic right now.
 
heezy15 said:
Been off smack for a year and a half and for some reason am itching today. I started when I lived in minneapolis. Never got around to trying anything in chicago even though I am from here. Used to love getting low and just chilling. nostalgic right now.
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you should stay just nostalgic bro. But fuck it, get high. I heard the dope in the Twin Cities is pretty on point. Never even been there my self but I wouldn't mind hitting the scene if I ever make it up that way
 
itchyscratchy said:
Continuing and continued ocassional use have a completely diff, meaning in this subject, memento. You are looking to party and escape your anxiety, I get it but what Northside was trying to communicate to you is that occassional partying with this stuff can turn into something that can lead to more enxiety than good times. I answered your PM and told you what I thought you should do. Other than that, the only thing I can tell you is to be careful. The water gets really deep, really dark, really quick. With a lot of undertow.
Later.
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that's the understatement of the century itchy. I have stayed true to my word on not going back to dope.....at least for the most part. Got a half gram last week but been clean since thursday. Friday I got back on the subs at .25mg a day. Planning on dropping to .125mg a day this weekend
 
Yea man there was definitely weeks that would go by where it was just fire. Then you would get to the bottom of whatever they were getting and shit was just a waste of money. IDK mostly it was just shady ppl kicking it for years on end just looking to get high. I would say fuck it and get high but no connects in the chi-town area (which is probably a good thing). Twin cities is awesome though! I definitely encourage ppl to venture up that way
 
Seems like on of the biggest differences from here to there was that here a lot of people are getting their stuff from different neighborhoods and different crews. Maybe buying from one some day and a different one another day. In Minneapolis I had 2 connects that had it everyday. They basically would pick up from some mexican crews around the cities and then bring it back to their spot. All I had to do was wait for them to grab (which definitely sucked some days) and then just roll over to the spot. It was too easy. Sounds like if I wanted to grab in chi I would have to drive around the hood with half of the dudes I would be trying to buy from accusing me that I am an undercover or something ridiculous like that.
 
What up crew its been minute. Now that I have a director role my work days are super long. Been getting good stuff from phone connecr and like u guys I knw I need to take a break!!! I have subs it's just waiting to take them is something I find hard to do. Then I smoked some weed and get horrible anxiety. Hope to try and find a dr for benzos like I have been saying for a while. Good to see people doing well. This chi weather is crazy I feel a higher power is making up for a bitter winter last year... Hope u are all good and safe. How is goodtymes???
 
damn read all these posts and im hooked on bluelight lol. im a sniffer myself and been doin this for 3 years. i fight the urge to use a lot and try to keep other hobbies going so i dont go crazy....was fiending for some dope tonight but reading these old threads kept me up all night haha...so whats up people? hows everybody doing? this is my first post haha. my habit is kiddy shit compared to some of you guys....probably for the best....got a relative in town that is gonna get us some dope hopefully today....the stuff is fire.. nothing like that feeling you get when youve done a bag or two...have money for some bomb ass mexican food with a fresh pack of newports sitting in your pocket. such a sublime feeling. gotta respect how powerful this drug is...it feels so good that you cant NOT be afraid of what it can do to your life.
 
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To those of you that are thinking about using again and think you can control it don't do it. I thought I could and within a month I was the dopemans best customer and it took another year or so from me that fast. Now here I am on a ridiculous amount of methadone for the 4th or 5th time. I should have never got off methadone the first time and I would be a lot farther ahead in life.
 
@welder. I think you are the first person that has praised methadone, if my memory serves me right(and my memory is not the best these days). Usually people regret ever going on that stuff because it keeps you in the addiction looping cycle. They use that shit, use that shit, until they cave in and get the real thing and then hit bottom again and go back on meth and the cycle continues. With me, the job I have now, I'm trying to treat with a little more respect than the usual 'don't give a shit' attitude. And I usually would go cold turkey in the past and just bum it out, be sick(call in sick) and get over it. With this job, I have to keep using to not feel sick at work. So in other words I'm stuck. The two days off are hardly enough time to tackle this beast.
In any case, you are doing it and for that I applaud you.
And no, you can't control this shit, it's not a "weekend warrior" type of drug. You are absolutely right.
Later.
 
Y'all have no idea (well you probably do) how hard this is for me right now. I've had a habit since, shit.... My first oxy in the 90's. This last run easily 4 years w a 6 month run on sub's.
Just moved to central Illinois and kicked it about 2 weeks ago. Don't drive, out in the country, and wanting to get high so bad it's killing me.
My advice, if you can do without... For the love of god, stay away. I'd LOVE to feel like that's an option for me. I've a 20 year opiate love affair. Shit an angel and a devil in the same fucking bag though. Never shot, but I'm far from niave... I am going to die from it if I don't actually stay away...
Not trying to preach. Just sharing my story I guess
 
For every second of peace and pleasure you get you will pay back 100 fold in anxiety, money, guilt, and everything else. When you are getting a train pulled on you by a couple homeboys in a abando 2 blocks off Pulaski for a few bags, with no money to get back home because the pawn shop wouldn't take your moms jewelry because you lost your id then you will think: fuck I should have just not jumped in so deep. And then the same thin happens the next day, and the next. It grabs ahold of you and steals you. 2 choices, go to the west side and get a bunch of connects or just find a gun and blow your fucking head off. I'm telling you kiddo those are the only two choices in this matter. Or just tell your therapist or reach out to deal with that anxiety. Keep busy is a suggestion.
 
Pizza - you just said what I was originally thinking. Good for you.
Mori - so, I assume you've discussed this with your doc, and he's like, yeah, heroin is great for anxiety, why didn't I think of that?
But since you got it all figured out already, why ask us, just go for it. But let us know how it turns out. Pro tip - you can always use the internet in the public library when you pawn or sell or can't pay for anything else. You can even wash up there.
 
Dang...That's harsh but reality...I never thought I would dread my miserable fucking existence EVERY MORNING. You fucking resent yourself for being so weak. And something that you used to have fun with, owns every minute of your life. Literally.
Mori, you should be glad there are people here to tell you the real side of this "romantic" drug. But hey, I know that you probably won't listen, because I never listened to people that used to tell me that this shit is like no other shit out there and will probably have to just get a taste of the nasty.
I just hope that when it stops being fun, you will have the sense to walk away, instead of trying to find fun that's no longer there.
BTW, Mori, I woke up so sick today...and guess what. I had to go to work. sick or not.
 
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