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The Suicide Support Thread

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Captain, are you okay? <3
You're one of the kindest, most thoughtful person on here and I wish you are okay.
Please remember this and that any bad thoughts are just that, and they WILL go away. x
 
Capt. I hope youre doing OK, man. you seem like one cool ass dude, and I know we all go through our problems and we all go through each one different, but I wish you nothing but the best. you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and if you were to stand your own ground, follow the right path, and do the RIGHT THING, I am sure the outcome would be fantastic.

seriously, and as cheesy as it is to say it, things ALWAYS GET BETTER, right? well, sometimes it takes things longer to get better for one than another, but they always do, so stay strong man and be tough.
 
Captain, I don't know what has triggered this hard time for you but try to ride it out knowing that most of it is temporary. Whatever it is that needs to be looked at and dealt with is often obscured by the chatter our minds throw up around it. Sometimes for me the only way through is to ask myself what I am really afraid of? Then sit and let the answers bubble up. Most of what I am afraid of is not real.:\
 
Captain I hope you are okay. I have been haunting these boards for years and reading your posts, and I fee like I know you. I am in such a bad place, I have been thinking about the end seriously. I have this little boy who adores me and I think it will stop me. I worry about the one day it doesn't because it would destroy him. He loves me and I love him. But I can't get past the undying sadness that I feel. It is extreme these days. I am not sure how to make it stop. I wish drugs would help, but they don't. And opiates used to make e happy, but I got out of control on those and they took them away. So now I am stuck on Subutex and I am so undeniably miserable and sad. When will it stop?
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Thank you kace

I'm still not doing well

I will keep in mind the thoughts will go away in time. Thank you for reaching out <3
Click to expand...

Capt, as one of the people who have helped me in my recovery period on BL, I would like to offer my help and assistance if you need me. I am a pm away ok? hugs capt <3
 
BostonBrownTown said:
Capt. I hope youre doing OK, man. you seem like one cool ass dude, and I know we all go through our problems and we all go through each one different, but I wish you nothing but the best. you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and if you were to stand your own ground, follow the right path, and do the RIGHT THING, I am sure the outcome would be fantastic.

seriously, and as cheesy as it is to say it, things ALWAYS GET BETTER, right? well, sometimes it takes things longer to get better for one than another, but they always do, so stay strong man and be tough.
Click to expand...

Thanks man. Things are getting slowly better for me - but the thoughts I have are persistent.

herbavore said:
Captain, I don't know what has triggered this hard time for you but try to ride it out knowing that most of it is temporary. Whatever it is that needs to be looked at and dealt with is often obscured by the chatter our minds throw up around it. Sometimes for me the only way through is to ask myself what I am really afraid of? Then sit and let the answers bubble up. Most of what I am afraid of is not real.:\
Click to expand...

I am not actually afraid of anything (other than succumbing to this)

But I have chronic anxiety and PTSD. I had 7 months off suboxone this year and went back on it. Now I am off it again - I have seventeen days off it.

jkmkaye said:
Captain I hope you are okay. I have been haunting these boards for years and reading your posts, and I fee like I know you. I am in such a bad place, I have been thinking about the end seriously. I have this little boy who adores me and I think it will stop me. I worry about the one day it doesn't because it would destroy him. He loves me and I love him. But I can't get past the undying sadness that I feel. It is extreme these days. I am not sure how to make it stop. I wish drugs would help, but they don't. And opiates used to make e happy, but I got out of control on those and they took them away. So now I am stuck on Subutex and I am so undeniably miserable and sad. When will it stop?
Click to expand...

I am so sorry you feel that way, I was somewhat miserable on buprenorphine too. Off it is severely worse. Much <3 to you and your kid. You sound like an amazing parent.

Maya said:
Capt, as one of the people who have helped me in my recovery period on BL, I would like to offer my help and assistance if you need me. I am a pm away ok? hugs capt <3
Click to expand...

Thanks Maya. I'll PM you
 
I don't want to keep living anymore.

I wish I wasn't going through these thoughts. The most I can promise is to live through today. It just begins to feel hopeless when I wake up before sunrise every morning feeling this shitty. I don't know how many more days I can go through like this.

I hope everyone else is feeling at least a little better than I am <3. No one deserves this.
 
One second at a time. One minute at a time and then one day at a time. That's how I survived my latest bout of depression. Remembering that feelings do change and that you may not necessarily feel this way tomorrow. I am still plagued by loneliness, low self esteem and massive addiction issues but I try to find perspective through others. I try to work on myself slowly. I try not to be so hard on myself. Life can get really fucking hard I know. To all you struggling, you are surviving.

Lots of love
 
And Capt. H. I've been lurking round for a while and from what I gather you are a well liked and respected member of this community.
There are many ppl that do not have this support so make the most of it. I wish I had found this site earlier in my life
 
captain if this means anything to you, i still think you have the best BL username!!
hope you're feeling better

i also came here to post that i was thinking about committing suicide... but i couldn't do that to my mom. i feel so lost and feel like i've wasted years of my life :(
i'm 24 already, i thought i'd be doing great things by now... except i still don't 100% know what i want to do re: a potential career
 
Abject,

What's going on that you feel like killing yourself is the only option?

I only ask as I wanted to kill myself about 3 months ago, and was thinking of ways to do so. I didn't want to live, I thought if I must choose between living, and dying … killing myself is the best way out… Looking back I see this wasn't true even though the pain was horrendous…
 
Nothing is really going on, just lacking. I can't see things getting better. I'm at my limit.
 
I am comforted by the fact that no matter how bad things get I can kill myself and make all the pain go away. Ive wanted to do this for a while, but im just a coward.

I even tries self harm, but just couldn't cut deep enough.
 
Abject said:
Nothing is really going on, just lacking. I can't see things getting better. I'm at my limit.
Click to expand...

How long have you seen things this way?
Please hang in there…. whatever it is it will change …. if you stick around. It has to and does, if better or worse… something will change
 
sonicteamaajm said:
I am comforted by the fact that no matter how bad things get I can kill myself and make all the pain go away. Ive wanted to do this for a while, but im just a coward.

I even tries self harm, but just couldn't cut deep enough.
Click to expand...

Who knows what happens when you die, if you die.
You can wake up lacking speech or something worse.
Or you may end up in an endless black hole for 1000 years.
No one has ever told us what happens when you die, but many have come back in really bad shape, like eternally f..cked.

But I really know what you may be going through Abject. I am always really tired and often sad.
If I had my certainties I would really consider but as I mentioned above have no guarantees, so to speak.
 
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