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Why do withdrawls get harder each time?

B

Bamagirl88

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Oct 9, 2014
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I'm courteous as to why is withdrawls harder the next go around? I just don't understand....and why is it harder when we get older? Here's the set up...the first time I got off my oxy was pretty dang hard. After close to six months of running out early and having to scrounge on streets or just be sick I checked into rehab. Stayed off the medicine for two years. Due to medical conditions I'm back on. And im not happy. In less than six months being back on im at the same spot im in so I want to quit again. Or try to see if I can re manage my pain.

but I'm super scared of the detox. Two months ago I went cold turkey and my withdrawls mimicked a herion user. It was hell...maybe because I'm on a super strong dose..2 60mg a day with 2 15 or mgs a day. I don't really like the 15 so I don't use them. Just the long lasting.

whats gonna be my best choice? I'm older now too. Is that gonna be a factor? Should I taper?

But it back to the real question...why does withdrawls get worse each time? I don't get it.
and am scared cause last time I had to go to rehab. I don't have that opportunity right now. Just started a new job and can't take time off like that.

should I continue to use until I can build up time? Or taper? Am I just flipping out for no reason?
 
So your brain gets strung out higher and higher? I heard the body goes into survival mode, does anything to get you to use...you know the cravings and physical issues....why is it worst the longer and more times you try?
 
Yup! There is proof of kindling effect ^

Also, for me each time.. off the opiates, I knew how bad it was the last time, so the projection of what was coming made the actual process of the event horrible. As I knew it would last like 15 days before I didn't experience daytime panic and derealization (for me about how long).

The first time I withdrew I was so optimistic cos I hadn't been through it before (I also was deluded it would be 4-5 days and I would be okay, ha!). It got me through though once, not knowing from experience that it would actually be longer, especially mentally :\
 
IMO, the withdrawals got a little easier after the first time. When I first tried to quit after two years of oxy use, I went to a detox for 5 days and did horrible and relapsed a couple days afterwards. Then I spent about 4 years with a heavier oxy use and heroin. I quit for 5 months. Physically it wasn't near as bad as the first time I quit but metally it was but that's was because I was going through a lot of other shit too. I quit back in March and started using again a couple months ago but I've only been using on the weekends but I'm about to quit using again and hopefully for good. Everyone is different, like in my situation where it seemed like it got easier even after heavier more "hardcore" use than the first time I quit
 
They definitely don't get easier for me. You can sort of "mind over matter" opiate withdrawal but not benzos with my experience.
I think it's a combo of what neversick told you. Brain changes ... but also you just get old and tired and fed up so even if it's the same w/d, you're just so fucking over being dopesick that ya, it feels worse.
 
^^kindling is some real shiznit

To anyone medical profesional who denies that, they've never been through addiction. Ode to the days I could kick benzos and opiates and feel fine in a couple weeks.
 
Smoky said:
Yup! There is proof of kindling effect ^

Also, for me each time.. off the opiates, I knew how bad it was the last time, so the projection of what was coming made the actual process of the event horrible. As I knew it would last like 15 days before I didn't experience daytime panic and derealization (for me about how long).

The first time I withdrew I was so optimistic cos I hadn't been through it before (I also was deluded it would be 4-5 days and I would be okay, ha!). It got me through though once, not knowing from experience that it would actually be longer, especially mentally :\
Click to expand...

So in smokeys first point, I agree 100%. I too thought after 7 days I'd be fine.....lol. Not knowing the entire process didn't fuck with me mentally. If we think about the hell to come it just makes it worse or real for that matter. Also your metabolism slows as you get older, making the detox process slower.

So here is my question, not specifically to you, but if we know how bad the w/d is after the first time, why go back again? Is this a choice, lack of willpower, not strong enough to fight the cravings, not a ton of support, ect. Point being, we all know how bad the DOC we were/are using fucked/s up our life in all aspects, not to mention that if we go back we know inevitably we will either be detoxing or dead at some point, and for what? So we can live like shit, homeless, helpless, hopeless, soulless.... Why is the memory of our hell out weighted by a blank void, what are we running back to, or from? Is/was our life better with DOCs or is it just our mind telling us it is? If we can answer these questions, I think we would be in a better place. If we are honest with ourselves, find the clarity, and use it. Remember our mind is the last to heal when detoxing, it's a battle, but a winnable one. Sorry for the ramble, good luck.and im going to post a thread about this for comments on this.

Bob
 
Thank you Bob,

Some very good questions. When in withdrawal can be different when we go back once we are in full sustained remission and mostly healed. Why do we go back then?
When life is good?! I had 8 years and I went back, started with a hydro script. A year and a 1/2 later I found myself needing heroin to get out of bed and go to sleep at night. Life is indeed not better with the DOC, I almost lost everything, again. At least for me. I have chronic pain so it helped me temporarily but heroin is not a solution for physical pain.
There is choice in picking up again I would say when free from active addiction… so why do we go back? I guess everyone is different but we do all have the same compulsion to use when it does happen. In the moment what seems like a good idea is a dangerous place to be. A place where my thinking is conflicted and I am in pain, 'or' life is great and I think I can handle using again. A place where memory is lost and I have forgotten how bad it was. A place I could pick up and never make it back… and it could all happen in a minute, Just.like.that. :)

~ Smoky
 
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I believe we do it unconsciously. Every relapse I had happened in the best moments I had achieved staying sober.
Maybe we jeopardize ourselves happiness so that I find a reason to try it just once more.
I really don´t get it. But at this moment, only now matters.
It could all happen in a minute, like you said.
 
Yeah, so true E - For me it can be a subconscious drive to self destruct … It happens early, and sometimes I see it manifesting… the darkness on its way.

I saw it 2 years ahead before I relapsed last time... so I did everything in my power I could do to take care of myself and prevent it from happening (working in rehabs, doing aca, therapy, pain management, the list goes on) but through all this … it happened anyways… I was even dreaming about death and seeing warning signs/symbols. I'm starting to see also I stopped my antidepressants a couple years back which is a factor but not all of it of course… as well as my roommate disrupting the peace in our home by not paying his rent jeopardizing my life causing us potential evictions, almost putting me on the street with my cat.

No blame just triggers I'm aware of. :)
 
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