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Septsober - The September gettn and stayn sober thread 2014

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went to a 9ers game sunday with a friend... fresh air, sunshine, great game (we embarassed ourselves in the first half and then came back and won it :)), amazing food, had a lot of fun with the fans sitting around us... and all done pretty much sober - I did just enough to keep away the sickness). It was nice :) I need to get out and do things more, it does wonders for my frame of mind.
 
Heyy everyone!! Soo I've been up north now for a little over a week. It's gorgeous up here and it's nice to be away on my own, I mean I came up here to be clean and to be with friends and to work and be busy and make money and be out in nature. The problem is that none of that has happened and it's bumming me out, and a lot of it has to do with the people I came up here with... which I can't change or do anything about so that sucks :(

I came up here with my friend who hooked me up with the job (who I'll call R), he thought it would be an awesome idea to bring our drug dealer along (who I will call M) because he swore he was gonna get clean too and work. What ends up happening?? M brings heroin and speed, the two of them start smoking, and I wasn't about to be sick while the two of them are smoking right in front of me, so I caved and smoked with them a few times. Then, when that runs out (and M immediately has someone ship him more), M and I get sick... R is fine for some reason... and I get up and go work while M stays in bed sick for two days while he waits for his package. Worst of all is the way the two of them started treating me after the package did arrive, basically ganging up on me and making me pay to get well, giving me a tiny piece while the two of them smoke as much as they want out of the 10 grams he got sent to him for free right in front of me. M was making me feel guilty whenever I would ask to buy some, even tho I rarely did, only when I was too sick to sleep or get my day going and even then I only asked for a lil bit... but made me feel like the whole .3 he gave me out of his 10 grams was this huge burden, so I found a connect in town and started getting my own instead. R made it seem like M wasn't giving him any either so I would share my little sacks with him and barely have any for myself, only to find out later that M had given him a few grams!! Worst of all was yesterday, when I went out and copped two grams for all of us, and M set me up to look like I had taken most of it when in truth he had smoked it all, they spent the rest of the day ganging up on me, calling me selfish and greedy, and smoking most of my portion of it after they finished theirs. It's pretty much been making me miserable. I mean I thought I was coming up here to get clean, and was even told I wasn't allowed to bring any up, so I wasn't expecting anyone else to have any either... when I mentioned this to R last night, his response was to tell me that I could have quit anyway and no one forced me to use, that he could have done it and has before... I'm like ok good for you, you're a better person than I am then. Sorry but it's nearly impossible for me to be okay with kicking while two people are smoking h in front of me all day everyday. I tried, I failed. The other thing is that we've been stuck waiting in a motel for a week straight, I've only worked one day and made barely any money. Like, I quit school for this... to sit in a motel and get high and watch TV all day...? No, I came up here to work and be busy and change my life. Instead it's just a bunch of depressing bullshit surrounded by negative people.

I'm not giving up though, I mean fuck I quit school for this and left literally my entire life behind... my friends and family and my music and everything. So yeah. Definitely not giving up now. M left this morning to go home cuz he ran out of dope again, and I'm not gonna lie I'm happy as fuck about that. It means no more dope has to be around and no more sneaky bullshit. I'm actually kind of excited again about being up here, I'm excited to be getting clean again, and I'm excited to start working finallyy.

Seriously, I have never been happier to say I'm on day one than I am right now... haha. Thank GOD. I wasn't the one who NEEDED to have dope around, and now that the person who did is gone, I have a feeling this whole thing is gonna start to go a whole lot more smoothly :)
 
Congratulations everyone! I'm 35 days off Heroin, all opiates -- Finally I am reaching some sort of homeostasis. Still a little cog def in the brain a bit, but have more clarity daily. I do have my original pain, spinal debilitations … and working on tx for it… how I got scripted in the first place, but the heroin just made my pain worse overall. Short term solutions etc. Grateful to be here .. moving around on the island in a healthier way today, not floating over myself, less dissociated … and I didn't have to lose everything like I did 8 years ago when I got clean off multiple substances. Lost quite a bit this time, mostly my sanity ... but kept a roof and my cat, barely! :)
 
BlueSaffron said:
went to a 9ers game sunday with a friend... fresh air, sunshine, great game (we embarassed ourselves in the first half and then came back and won it :)), amazing food, had a lot of fun with the fans sitting around us... and all done pretty much sober - I did just enough to keep away the sickness). It was nice :) I need to get out and do things more, it does wonders for my frame of mind.
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Oh, that's awesome BlueSaffron -- sounds like a beautiful day! :)
 
43 days sober, and ive never felt alive as much as i did today.

First i had a great night sleep, after my first EMDR session yesterday, had no nightmares, almost cant believe it...

Woke up feeling well rested and saw a happy Man looking back while brushing my teeth.

No hangover, pain, no suffering, no anxiety, no depression, no past, no future, just today.

Collected some old clothes and delivered them to a giveaway store around the corner.
Proceeded to buy groceries, actual food, vegetables milk potatoes cheese.

Had my first Starbucks coffee in my life, together with my sweet sister.
Made an agreement on taking my lovely niece (5yo) to a playground...for the first time ever.

Got home, played music, did the laundry and took a little nap.

Went jogging for a while, enjoyed the sun and fresh air, the city, the people.

Cooked dinner, and am now drinking a coffee.

Later on ill drop by a information gathering about 400 syrian refugees who are welcomed by my city.
A few streets away lived a girl that died in MH17 crash in Ukrain.
She is a war victim, from my neighborhood, and i will honour her by volunteering to help the syrian refugees who are welcomed to my hometown (Zwolle).
War is suddenly all around me, directly and indirectly, from the TV to nextdoor reality...its crazy.

After that, watch a soccer match (Apoel-Ajax, Champions Leaugue), im a huga Ajax fan and love the CL!

How can i just suddenly love living?

I used to HATE life, only 3 months ago i was considering suicide very serious...

Now all i want to do is LIVE...and im doing it!




No more drugs....more life.



Greetings and big up to all the quitters and sober people, you should be proud of yourself!<3
 
Glad to hear you are doing so well njirem! I have a feeling that my first really good day is going to happen after I get a real nights sleep. Considering how little sleep I have been getting I actually feel pretty good when that is taken into account.

So happy you got your passion for life back. :D
 
With this month coming to a close I have to say I had a pretty smooth and positive month.
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Also IMO this is one of the strongest and most amazing getting staying threads I have had the privilege to read and participate in. So many people do so many amazing and positive accomplishments!!!

Congratulations to us all<3 and lets keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!

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I have made it over one year without any heroin, so I am very proud of myself. I did have a couple slip ups with benzos but they were minor and isolated so I pulled out of it ok and I am doing very well at the moment, especially compared to this time last year. Those two drugs have destroyed a lot in my life and it's my responsibility to rebuild what I have lost.

Keep up the good work everyone!
 
165 days clean from opiates 90 give or take from meth. Still drinking on weekends and smoking weed during the week some xanax every few weeks did some coke last weekend but honestly have no desire to do H most days. G is a different story for some reason.. never loved the high but i find myself trying to cop when im drunk and my friend leaves or whatever.. I dont know if ill ever quit taking xanax on ocasion.. but I've been prescribed and abusing ridiculous doses of benzo's sense 16 and im 21 now some days it seems like the only thing i can do for my mental health
 
^eh? One of the long term (sober) posters here is named Captain.Heroin. People can't help what their username is - some of us signed up when in active addiction, and our usernames reflect that. I didn't see anything glorifying drug use in the above post - I've seen a lot more triggering content here. He/she is clean from opiates and meth which is a HUGE step. Lots of people don't get clean all at once - this thread is for anyone who's making an effort.
 
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