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What is my gf thinking?

sonicteamaajm

sonicteamaajm

Bluelighter
Joined
May 27, 2010
Messages
238
Location
UK, South East
My gf and I used to talk all the time when we arent together, now we barely talk at all and when im with her she is constantly on her phone and she always angles the phone so I dont see the screen.

I dont want to bring it up because I hate arguments. She says she loves me, but im kinda worried shes talking to other guys instead of me..

Am I being a worried weirdo?
 
Don't assume things, it's not worth it. The only real issue that I see here is that she's spending a significant amount of time on her phone when she's with you. If it bothers you, figure out a way to kindly tell her that you would like her to put her phone away while you two are together. Perhaps the best way to go about that without offending her is by telling her that you've noticed that BOTH of you are spending too much time on your phones, and you think that the two of you should make a collective effort to spend more time focusing on one another. You'll get the message across without pointing any fingers.
 
Message her, when she is on the phone and say - Remember me ! Some people get so caught up with social media, the become anti-social :D.
 
Bearlove said:
Message her, when she is on the phone and say - Remember me ! Some people get so caught up with social media, the become anti-social :D.
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That is a good idea! Haha just send her a message. Make sure it's a friendly message.
But yeah, don't assume things about other guys! She's probably just doing social media stuff :P
 
These are great ideas guys, thank you! But my gf is far less affectionate with me and im the one initiating everything, for example- if i dont kiss her we probably wont kiss the whole time we are with each other.

The relationship is starting to suck and i feel as if she isnt putting enough into it and she doesnt see that.

I just dont know what to think.
 
sonicteamaajm said:
These are great ideas guys, thank you! But my gf is far less affectionate with me and im the one initiating everything, for example- if i dont kiss her we probably wont kiss the whole time we are with each other.

The relationship is starting to suck and i feel as if she isnt putting enough into it and she doesnt see that.

I just dont know what to think.
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Doesn't look good to me mate. Try chatting to her.
 
Okay, so my situation is pretty similar to yours except I'm the girlfriend. And I'm never on my phone, ha. But my boyfriend tends to feel very insecure in the relationship and he used to constantly try to kiss me and hug me when I wasn't in the mood and it really turned me off.

The more you chase her, the more she will run. You need to chill a little and give her some space. Trust me, if you back off and give it a little time she will make the next move. Well as long as she's not over it, but in that case there's nothing you can do anyway.

But as long as he was constantly pushing the issue, there was no give and take in the relationship. It was him making all the moves and me just backing up. We ended up taking a break and I seriously didn't talk to him for 2 weeks.

After that, he realized he needed to give me a chance to come to him on my own. And I did, once I'd had time to breath. But while he was all up in my space, I had zero desire to reciprocate his affection.

There's a chance she is over it and talking to other guys, but it's more likely that it's your own issues causing these problems.
 
^^@rhun- Thanks for the reply! This actually helps a lot and I am now giving her space. You were spot on about the reciprication.

Cheers :]
 
Cool, glad to hear that helped and good for you for giving her that space. It may take a little while, I personally needed some time to reflect and just have me time. If time passes though and you don't see any changes, I would let her know that you feel you guys aren't as close but you're respecting her needs and giving her time to figure out what she wants in the relationship. Just be low key about it while still communicating whatever you feel should be talked about.

Good relationships do take work, very few people are lucky enough to just have the perfect relationship without any effort. In my own relationship, both parties knowing the other's needs and expectations has been crucial to our success. We are very different people and sometimes we balance each other perfectly but other times we clash.

Let us know how it goes! :)
 
rhun said:
Cool, glad to hear that helped and good for you for giving her that space. It may take a little while, I personally needed some time to reflect and just have me time. If time passes though and you don't see any changes, I would let her know that you feel you guys aren't as close but you're respecting her needs and giving her time to figure out what she wants in the relationship. Just be low key about it while still communicating whatever you feel should be talked about.

Good relationships do take work, very few people are lucky enough to just have the perfect relationship without any effort. In my own relationship, both parties knowing the other's needs and expectations has been crucial to our success. We are very different people and sometimes we balance each other perfectly but other times we clash.

Let us know how it goes! :)
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I will definitely be taking you up on your advice; especially since you've had that experience. My girlfriend and I are also very different people, pretty much polar opposites. I sure hope things work out.

Thanks again for the advice and will do my best you know if it works out or not and if I remember (:
 
Any progress so far?

No worries, it's not a set in stone promise ahaha. I always forget about shit.
 
rhun said:
Any progress so far?

No worries, it's not a set in stone promise ahaha. I always forget about shit.
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No progress as of yet. We have barely talked at all this week. I'm seeing her saturday night. We will see how she is then and I will let you know, rhun!
 
I don't know man...
Life is too short for all that shit.

At least 2 things catch my eye from skimming this post.
1. She's setting the tone of your interaction - Nothing wrong with that, but if that's what your style is, you need to find someone different who's tone is to your liking, or find a way to capture this woman's attention. If that's not what your style is, maybe look at ways that you can set the tone once in a while.

2. Can't obsess and micromanage. Mystery and personal privacy can actually have benefits.
 
Yeah, I'm going to agree with rhun on this one.

A lot of girls do become unattracted to a guy who becomes too needy.

I think it's always best not to overexpose yourself. She'll appreciate you more when you have a date or talk on the phone. Use the "Push & Pull technique." Give her a little of something and back away. Repeat... This goes with sex as well. Always keep her on her toes & wanting more. Make things happen spontaneously & never appear to be too calculated, or definitely not needy.

She'll see your manhood, your confidence, your emotional security, your swag, and become attracted to you.

If it doesn't work out with her... That's okay. There are plenty of fish in the sea & you should never get "oneitis." She probably wasn't right for you anyway.

Believe in yourself bud!
 
Corazon said:
I don't know man...
Life is too short for all that shit.

At least 2 things catch my eye from skimming this post.
1. She's setting the tone of your interaction - Nothing wrong with that, but if that's what your style is, you need to find someone different who's tone is to your liking, or find a way to capture this woman's attention. If that's not what your style is, maybe look at ways that you can set the tone once in a while.

2. Can't obsess and micromanage. Mystery and personal privacy can actually have benefits.
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I guess I'm just a general over thinker, can't help but analyse every thought I have, and when in a relationship its the worst thing. I will try to keep it down.

I don't know if i should try to catch her attention. As I said before I'm seeing her on saturday. I won't try and be very affectionate and if she is still distant towards me, I will just give her some space until she is ready I guess?

Teabag Johnny said:
Yeah, I'm going to agree with rhun on this one.

A lot of girls do become unattracted to a guy who becomes too needy.

I think it's always best not to overexpose yourself. She'll appreciate you more when you have a date or talk on the phone. Use the "Push & Pull technique." Give her a little of something and back away. Repeat... This goes with sex as well. Always keep her on her toes & wanting more. Make things happen spontaneously & never appear to be too calculated, or definitely not needy.

She'll see your manhood, your confidence, your emotional security, your swag, and become attracted to you.

If it doesn't work out with her... That's okay. There are plenty of fish in the sea & you should never get "oneitis." She probably wasn't right for you anyway.

Believe in yourself bud!
Click to expand...

Yeah I know I shouldn't be needy, but I find it hard to tell what she is thinking and she is barely affectionate towards me. She just seems to make dumb excuses as to why she doesn't initiate affection.

I just feel like I want her to tell me if she wants to be with me or not before I fall harder for her.

421 said:
Sometimes you have to do difficult things if you want to move forward in life.
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This is very true. The thing is when we argue it is totally one sided as in she doesn't bother to try to understand my side of the arguement and then we don't progress. This is why I despise arguing.

Thank you for all the replies guys, you have all been super helpful!
 
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