• Hello Graphic
    NEW MEMBER'S GUIDE
    INTRODUCE YOURSELF
    YOUR FAVORITE DRUGS?
    WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

  • NMI Moderators: M!$TER-ED

Hey, finally back to BL!! And finally clean!!

X

xxjostaxx

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 13, 2014
Messages
4
Hey everyone, I've been a BlueLight user/member before, but hadn't been around for about 3-4yrs. Around the start of the time of my disappearance, so to speak, I had gotten into a methadone maintenance program. Was on it for 3yrs, Never went above 75mg/day, then got booted for benzo use. Came off cold turkey for about a week and a half before a bed opened at the detox I've been going to since I was 19 (I Just turned 29 on September 7th.) After doing an instant Subutex taper at detox for 4 days, I still just didn't feel right at all. NO energy, zero ambition, couldn't sleep to save my life, still got restless legs occasionally and felt like I was walking thru quicksand with cinder blocks for feet. That went on for about 3-4wks, before I decided to try Suboxone treatment. Had a reaction to Naloxone, so got put on 3 8mg Subutex a day, which I really never took that many unless I was misusing them, like days I got my refills. I was on 'tex for about 10 months, and my doctor cut me off outta nowhere because I was on a waiting list at 3 places for counseling. Gave him proof I was trying and all, Plus, I had a full-time job. A week after he cut me off via a letter, there was a huge Sub drug bust in my town, and 20 of the 29ppl arrested were his patients. So I think that's the Real reason he stopped being my PCP. He wrote me 2 more scripts after that, the first of which I had to pay for cuz he wouldn't call in a pre-auth for me. So I called my insurance and explained what was going on, and they agreed to pay for one more script. Then the new doc I was supposed to see in the beginning of August decided to retire. And every other sub doc around here won't take insurance for your office visits... $100 a pop, and for 3mos, you hafta go see them every two weeks. So, I scrounged what I could when I could off the street, and was down to 1-2mg a day, sometimes every other day. So I decided to try detox again, and they said it'd been too long since my last use (nurse F'd up my intake paperwork.) At that point (a few days ago now), I decided to just leave, as I hadn't had anything in 6 days and was doing pretty well overall. Still don't have much energy or motivation, and can't sleep some nights, but I get a little better every day. With as little as I was taking, and how infrequently I was taking it, I figure I should start feeling much better within the week. Its been 10 days free of everything (I did go drink for my birthday, and the night I came home from "detox," but I know I can handle that. I don't like drinking so I don't see it becoming a problem, especially since I'm almost always broke lol. So, if anyone has any questions or wants to talk, about Anything, hit me up via PM, or here. There's no opiate I haven't tried, no method I haven't used to snort, IV, IM, SC just about everything. I'm pretty well versed when it comes to drug use. And I am SO relieved that I'm Finally clean and free of that shit again! Anyone else take the leap to get off subs who can share their experiences, Please do. Most of what I've read and heard is that the worst is over (from how little, how infrequently I was taking subs or tex) for me, and for most people after about 5-7 days tops. Then there's the post-acute withdrawal syndrome to deal with, that I just love so much! Lol. Name's Josh, btw. Good to be back, alive, and clean!!
 
Well welcome back! I am quite new to BL myself, but I am so happy to hear your clean and back on the site! Congratulations! Everyday is an achievement! I wish I could say more about subs but I truly never went that route, Cold turkey off the H for me. :] 12 months going strong! PM anytime if you wana talk at all! I still need a talk down off the opiate ledge every now and then. :) Much Love
 
Welcome Back to Bluelight! :)

I too took a break from this site and cleaned myself up a bit.
Got off of subs and went through PAWS blah blah lol and came back to try to help people from having to go through the same hell I have.

PM me anytime you want or need to if you need any support for cleanliness with opiates.

-HOOD
 
Welcome to Bluelight:)

Good to have you here with us and I'm happy you are off the sub's it really is tough to stop isn't it?

I've been on 2mg Suboxone for almost 2 years now. Lucky I live in Canada so no doctors charge for doctor visits but you need to go to the methadone clinic to get a doctor since sub's are treated no different than methadone around here. We have more restrictions with the drug because officials here actually see the drug for what it is. Addicts complain about it but Its really for the best though then things like the DEA cracking down doesn't ever happen I can't imagine them going after sub docs it just seems so out of this world to me.
Mabye one day I'll need you for support when I make the transition to the clean lifestyle with no Suboxone.
Hope to see you around the forums:)
 
Last edited:
Thanks guys. I know some days are gonna suck and other days I'll be like Captain f*ckin America lol. But I'll deal with that for a month so I don't ever have to take another opioid again in my life. Thanks for all the support!
 
xxjostaxx said:
Thanks guys. I know some days are gonna suck and other days I'll be like Captain f*ckin America lol. But I'll deal with that for a month so I don't ever have to take another opioid again in my life. Thanks for all the support!
Click to expand...

Opioids are the devil! I have a family member who got out of surgery and got hooked on pain meds. She's not the same anymore. When she's on them she talks way too much then when she can't get them she is bedridden all day. It's very sad to watch someone you love kill them selves like this :(. Are family isn't the same anymore.
That's why I'm proud of you OP
Stay strong:)
 
Thanks everyone. I'm on day 16 with zero opioids or subs. And for the first time in a couple months, I woke up yesterday and felt like myself again. Crazy. Here, I thought it'd be this long, God-Awful, agonizing thing I couldn't get thru. My only problems rt now are not being able to sleep until I'm beyond exhausted, and getting irritatated over tiny stupid shit. But I can tell every day I'm getting better.

P.S. I broke my tailbone Thursday night, along with the very lowest vertebra in my back, and I've had back issues for years. I ruptured discs and crushed 3 vertebrae, plus I have spondylolesthesis and degenerative disc disease. Rt now, I'm in constant pain, between an 8 and a 10. I'm going to a new doctor (new for me) by the end of the week. I'm just worried if I take like, let's say percocet or Vicodin, will that reset this whole process? Thanks for the support guys, I really appreciate it. If I can do it with all my physical problems, anyone can. And sure, it lasts a lil while longer because of how the Bupe pulls out of your Mu-Opioid receptors, but it has been absolutely NOTHING compared to coming off methadone in 10 days. I have no "bowel issues (lol)", not sweating or getting chills, just no energy or motivation to do anything and can't sleep much, if at all, yet. I'm praying by the end of the week, I'll be able to sleep. Been to rehab over a dozen times, and it took me kicking myself in the ass to help myself. :)
 
What a great story, thank u for sharing and congrats! It's nice to read that people do rise above :).

Strength the and light to you always!
 
Prudentpartygirl said:
What a great story, thank u for sharing and congrats! It's nice to read that people do rise above :).

Strength the and light to you always!
Click to expand...

Thank you :) Its nice having people who understand the hell opioids put you through and how hard that is to overcome, especially on your own, with no help from even family, and without having something hanging over ur head so ur forced to get better. You have to really want it. And finally, Sep. 7 (my 29th bday), I had just had enough of it all. I just can't wait to get back energy and motivation and shake free from this irritability and attitude I have over insignificant crap. Its process though, and unfortunately the general consensus is "well just stop doing drugs." They obviously have no clue that addiction has been considered a disease by the AMA for over 20 years now! Oh well, you can't fix ignorant and/or stupid haha
 
xxjostaxx said:
Thanks everyone. I'm on day 16 with zero opioids or subs. And for the first time in a couple months, I woke up yesterday and felt like myself again. Crazy. Here, I thought it'd be this long, God-Awful, agonizing thing I couldn't get thru. My only problems rt now are not being able to sleep until I'm beyond exhausted, and getting irritatated over tiny stupid shit. But I can tell every day I'm getting better.

P.S. I broke my tailbone Thursday night, along with the very lowest vertebra in my back, and I've had back issues for years. I ruptured discs and crushed 3 vertebrae, plus I have spondylolesthesis and degenerative disc disease. Rt now, I'm in constant pain, between an 8 and a 10. I'm going to a new doctor (new for me) by the end of the week. I'm just worried if I take like, let's say percocet or Vicodin, will that reset this whole process? Thanks for the support guys, I really appreciate it. If I can do it with all my physical problems, anyone can. And sure, it lasts a lil while longer because of how the Bupe pulls out of your Mu-Opioid receptors, but it has been absolutely NOTHING compared to coming off methadone in 10 days. I have no "bowel issues (lol)", not sweating or getting chills, just no energy or motivation to do anything and can't sleep much, if at all, yet. I'm praying by the end of the week, I'll be able to sleep. Been to rehab over a dozen times, and it took me kicking myself in the ass to help myself. :)
Click to expand...

Good luck with all that and congrats on your progress. My experience has been that when I'd been off a particular opiate for awhile and was clean, when I started something else later, I did have a tolerance develop more quickly, etc. i.e. yeah, it resets things. I haven't dealt with suboxone specifically, but that was my experience with the opiates I did take. I wish you the best and hope you start feeling better.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top