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Withdrawal in Lockup

Cliffy78 said:
Go bail him out!
Jail or no jail, if he's gonna use again the he's gonna use, period.
Jail is no joke, he might be so weak from wd'ing that he can't defend himself properly from other inmates who have nothing to lose.
How long is he in for? What's the bail?
He's gonna be really pissed off if he finds out you could've bailed him out but didn't. He's going through some real terrible shit right now and your leaving him at the mercy of co's and inmates? Lmfao!! I'd curb my chick quick if I found out she left me to rot "for my own good"...
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He was remanded for 14 days to wait for his urine result. Court hearing will be on this Friday. I'm glad to know he is doing fine when I visited him today - most of his inmates are drug users and he has not been bullied. He likes the way he feels now, and he is very happy to have his appetite back. So all good. :)
 
BlueSaffron said:
Have to agree with the last two posters. You're kind of playing god "leaving him in for his own good". Besides, I'm not really sure it's for his own good - you say it's "so he'll feel my love and care for him". I wouldn't feel like someone loved and cared for me if they left me in jail, heroin habit or no heroin habit. When I got arrested my bf bailed me out that night, as soon as I called him. THAT made me feel loved and cared for. If he'd left me in I wouldn't felt like he didn't care at all. It sounds like you're trying to manipulate his feelings by keeping him in there. That's just not cool. If I were you, I'd bail him out. You can't FORCE someone to quit, it has to be when they're ready.
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I NEVER force him to quit and I did bailed him out in March.

I'm glad my boyfriend understands my intention and he thanked me today for letting him detoxing in lockup as he has tried many times to quit on his own but failed. Now that he is clean, he is able to think of what he did and wants to do - and yes, also being able to feel my love and care for him again. :)
 
Aveana said:
I can't sleep for many nights because I can't stop thinking of how bad his condition is in lockup. I do feel bad. That is why I opened this thread at the first place to hear from you guys - to know how can I help him.
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Sorry to hear that. As an addict, I often didn't realize or did not want to acknowledge how much my use was effecting others. Also, just be aware that it is unlikely that all the love and care in the world will not get him clean if he doesn't want it. Its likely hard to understand why, but that has been my experience. Not that it does not help. However, do not take his failure as reflective of something you have done.

Do they have drug court where you live? He actually might qualify for more services now then he would have had he not been arrested.
 
Even though I am reluctant to agree, but I have to - that all the love and care in the world can't change one if the person is not ready to.

This is not his first arrest. He has been in treatment before and yes, he wanted to get clean. He was the one who constantly asked me to take him to the anti-drug agency days before he got arrested. The day he was arrested was the day we were supposed to sign him in for a recovery program - but it was too late.

And true, with bail or no bail, he still can continue using - but I was told today that he chose not to.

When I visited him today, he looks healthy, smiling, laughing and had eaten 6 packs of rice. He loves the fact that he puts on weight and showing off his muscles from the workout he did inside. He told me he wants to stay clean from heroin & meth - but possibly will substitute to other substance like weed or alcohol when he comes out. I don't mind, I can tolerate weed until he is strong enough to be 100% clean. I know recovery is a long process and I'm proud that he is making baby steps towards the recovery path.

Or maybe that is just another lie? I suggested to him that we register him for an inpatient program right after court hearing this Friday - but he said, he does not want to be in a program as he is already clean and all he wants is to get a job. So I asked him where does he wants to go after court, to my surprise, he wants to go back to the house he was caught at - to get his things and collect money owe to him. And then only he will go back to his parents' house. He insisted when I discouraged that. He told me I do not have to wait for him at that house if I do not want to and he can find a way to go home on his own after that.

He is not ready to quit, is he?
 
Addicts are very manipulative people i know people who have done heroin ten years and kept it from their spouce the whole time. I know a guy who went to detox and rehab when his family took out a 2nd mortgage of a hundred grand to send him but he left early without them knowing and he started using again without them knowing. I think to this day the family thinks hes clean but he is worse than ever. Everybody lies addicts just have it down to a science and have lots of practice its how they keep high 24/7. Its up to you of course whether you trust him or not but all i can say is if you feel something isnt right or just start to notice small odd seeminly insignifigant events/quirks with him the chances are he is hiding something from you. If i was him and still using heroin i would be using dope in jail and telling you i got clean, but that's just me (the heroin addict me).

Good luck hope he stays clean just trust your gut its usually right dont put on blinders like some do.
 
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He's going to likely be on nice and heavy drug/alcohol testing for probation so good luck smoking pot. Maybe drinking, but that will lead him right back down the same road.
 
trainspotter10102 said:
Addicts are very manipulative people i know people who have done heroin ten years and kept it from their spouce the whole time. I know a guy who went to detox and rehab when his family took out a 2nd mortgage of a hundred grand to send him but he left early without them knowing and he started using again without them knowing. I think to this day the family thinks hes clean but he is worse than ever. Everybody lies addicts just have it down to a science and have lots of practice its how they keep high 24/7. Its up to you of course whether you trust him or not but all i can say is if you feel something isnt right or just start to notice small odd seeminly insignifigant events/quirks with him the chances are he is hiding something from you. If i was him and still using heroin i would be using dope in jail and telling you i got clean, but that's just me (the heroin addict me).

Good luck hope he stays clean just trust your gut its usually right dont put on blinders like some do.
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That's very helpful, thank you so much. ;)
 
Aveana said:
Even though I am reluctant to agree, but I have to - that all the love and care in the world can't change one if the person is not ready to.

This is not his first arrest. He has been in treatment before and yes, he wanted to get clean. He was the one who constantly asked me to take him to the anti-drug agency days before he got arrested. The day he was arrested was the day we were supposed to sign him in for a recovery program - but it was too late.

And true, with bail or no bail, he still can continue using - but I was told today that he chose not to.

When I visited him today, he looks healthy, smiling, laughing and had eaten 6 packs of rice. He loves the fact that he puts on weight and showing off his muscles from the workout he did inside. He told me he wants to stay clean from heroin & meth - but possibly will substitute to other substance like weed or alcohol when he comes out. I don't mind, I can tolerate weed until he is strong enough to be 100% clean. I know recovery is a long process and I'm proud that he is making baby steps towards the recovery path.

Or maybe that is just another lie? I suggested to him that we register him for an inpatient program right after court hearing this Friday - but he said, he does not want to be in a program as he is already clean and all he wants is to get a job. So I asked him where does he wants to go after court, to my surprise, he wants to go back to the house he was caught at - to get his things and collect money owe to him. And then only he will go back to his parents' house. He insisted when I discouraged that. He told me I do not have to wait for him at that house if I do not want to and he can find a way to go home on his own after that.

He is not ready to quit, is he?
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Honey he is going to go score as soon as he gets out. That's why he wants to go back to that house.
 
crimsonjunk said:
Honey he is going to go score as soon as he gets out. That's why he wants to go back to that house.
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Exactly as what I think.

One thing he does not know is, his mother will be there at the court and ready to take him home. I feel bad for him. :(
 
Yeah... I have to agree with crimsonjunk. If he was serious about getting clean, he'd cut his losses and avoid that house at all costs.

Or you can ask him how much money is owed to him and what exactly he left there. Then, either offer to replace all of it, or offer to go in there and get it for him. If he comes up with a new excuse as to why he just ABSOLUTELY NEEDS to go into that house himself, well then there's your answer and you'll know for sure.

I really hope it works out for the two of you. You sound like a really patient, caring girlfriend and he's lucky to have you.
 
xburtonchic said:
Yeah... I have to agree with crimsonjunk. If he was serious about getting clean, he'd cut his losses and avoid that house at all costs.

Or you can ask him how much money is owed to him and what exactly he left there. Then, either offer to replace all of it, or offer to go in there and get it for him. If he comes up with a new excuse as to why he just ABSOLUTELY NEEDS to go into that house himself, well then there's your answer and you'll know for sure.

I really hope it works out for the two of you. You sound like a really patient, caring girlfriend and he's lucky to have you.
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I agree with you and crimsonjunk, and will keep that in mind as a hint to how serious is he of getting clean.

Yes, we can replace all of it - however it would be heart breaking if he turn up there many days after that with the money we give him to replace his belongings. I rather he go to the house with empty pocket like now.

I thank you so much for your kind words - I do need moral support as I do not have anyone who understand why I am still very patient towards him. I have no anger towards him, I am not as frustrated as his mother - all I feel when I look at him when he is high is sympathy and responsibility to make sure he is safe. I feel sorry that he took the wrong path of experimenting drugs at the young age and now having hard time to let go the love he has for drugs.
 
Just a quick update; he was released yesterday.

And he went back straight to his parents' house. He didn't go back to that house. :)
 
I've never been so misrible in my life withdrawling off a 30 bag a day dope habit in jail. I was screamin and crying for 3 days and nights none stop banging on the cell door and shit, puking my brains out.
 
Good to hear aveena!!!
Take heed to what crimson and others said though. Your bf is gonna have that itch everyday for a long time and when the days get stressful and the nights get long the shit will always be there, calling.
Support him and try to keep him as busy as possible. Boredom is what does most people in... Take care Hun and good luck!!!
 
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