Withdrawal in Lockup

[Aveana]

Hi, I am a new member here but I have been reading many posts since April regarding recovery, withdrawal, etc. I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this question.

My boyfriend was on heroin and last Monday he was arrested and now in lockup. I brought him Loperamide & Stilnox (to help him sleep). I am not sure if the police do gives the medication I brought for him or not, but I hope he gets them.

My question is, can someone share their experience of withdrawing in lockup?
I keep on thinking about it, and how suffering he is inside there.

How can I help him to minimise the pain of withdrawing?

And another question is (this is quite embarrassing) - but does he think of me when he is in withdrawal, or does he only focus on his pains at the moment?
I'm asking this because he seems not "happy" to see me when I visit him last few days.

Thank you in advance for any reply.

 

[xburtonchic]

He probably doesn't seem happy to see you because he's feeling so miserable right now. I guarantee you he's thinking about you and probably a million other things though... withdrawals have a way of making you hella sensitive to every single thing about your life and all these thoughts that were suppressed while you were using come flooding in.

It's not likely that they're going to give him the medication you brought him, just fyi. I will say this much though: detoxing in jail, in some ways, is actually LESS miserable than if he were to be detoxing at home. Being stuck in a cell, knowing that there is absolutely no way you could possibly score, brings a sort of acceptance along with it and takes away a pretty significant component of the agony. At least that's been my experience, and I've detoxed in jail twice.

The best you can do for him right now is to just be there for him, both while he's in there and when he gets out. Do you know if he's planning on staying clean when he's out? That's also gonna have a lot to do with how bad his kick is going to be.

 

[Nicholai]

Trust me, it's nothing against you. I've never had to go through a full withdrawal in jail before, but it's miserable for any amount of time. You're freezing, have nothing warm to wrap up in, shitting all the time, possibly puking, and every other damn thing.

I got a dui(for taking a sleeping pill, no goddamn less), and was stuck in there for not all that long, but I had a raging pill addiction. Got bailed out...the asshole(this is relative) that bailed me left my ass there, so I paid a cab to haul absolute ass to my house, busted in(they took my keys, mind you), then found that my stashbox was locked so I called a locksmith and paid bout $100 to have him take two second to bust that bitch open, and up my nose they went!

Being in withdrawal, ESPECIALLY in jail, is really no shit fucking horrible. Not about you, love. So stay strong.

 

[Mysterie]

im a dick to people when im just in a foul mood, if i was withdrawing from heroin in jail, i would be giving my (hypothetical) wife (and everyone) the middle finger and telling her to stfu

 

[Aveana]

He probably doesn't seem happy to see you because he's feeling so miserable right now. I guarantee you he's thinking about you and probably a million other things though... withdrawals have a way of making you hella sensitive to every single thing about your life and all these thoughts that were suppressed while you were using come flooding in.

It's not likely that they're going to give him the medication you brought him, just fyi. I will say this much though: detoxing in jail, in some ways, is actually LESS miserable than if he were to be detoxing at home. Being stuck in a cell, knowing that there is absolutely no way you could possibly score, brings a sort of acceptance along with it and takes away a pretty significant component of the agony. At least that's been my experience, and I've detoxed in jail twice.

The best you can do for him right now is to just be there for him, both while he's in there and when he gets out. Do you know if he's planning on staying clean when he's out? That's also gonna have a lot to do with how bad his kick is going to be.

xburtonchic,

Thank you for your reply. I thought heroin only numbs your feelings - I didn't know it suppresses your thoughts as well. I really hope he is not mad at me, for any reason.

We don't bail him out, because I need the drug to be out of his system - even only for few days - so that he can feel my love and care again, and can think coherently about our relationship. Maybe by letting all the thoughts and feelings come flooding in, will help him to find a reason to quit?

The week before he got arrested, he told me few times he was sick of the life of using. He even said "I hate this" when he was about to smoke it.
The second day he was in lockup, he did say he wanted to stay clean once he is out - but it's hard to tell if he really mean it because he didn't look remorse, he looks like a zombie without feelings. Maybe because he felt miserable of not getting his fix?

 

[Aveana]

Trust me, it's nothing against you. I've never had to go through a full withdrawal in jail before, but it's miserable for any amount of time. You're freezing, have nothing warm to wrap up in, shitting all the time, possibly puking, and every other damn thing.

Thank you for describing to me how it is like detoxing in the lockup - that does not sounds good.

 

[Aveana]

im a dick to people when im just in a foul mood, if i was withdrawing from heroin in jail, i would be giving my (hypothetical) wife (and everyone) the middle finger and telling her to stfu

I nearly cried when I read this.

 

[Mysterie]

sorry, i didnt mean for you to take it personally, i was just thinking of how i would be acting to others, if i was feeling deep pain within myself.

 

[Aveana]

Ok understand. So would you appreciate a visit, or like to be left alone during withdrawal?

I visited him twice last week. Was his 2nd and 3rd day. He gave me the boring look, didn't smile at all during the visit.

Sorry I ask many questions, I am trying to understand because I never do drugs. It's painful to see the loved one suffering and not being able to do anything to help.

 

[xburtonchic]

Well yeah part of the reason heroin numbs your feelings is because you don't have to think about your problems. Feelings are reactions to thoughts. You don't have to think about anything at all really... that's why heroin has so much appeal to people who are predisposed to things like anxiety and ADD and bipolar and other high-strung disorders... cuz the high takes all of those racing thoughts and things away... you are literally avoiding reality.

If you say that his 2nd and 3rd day was last week, he should be feeling A LOT better by now. Withdrawal peaks around the 3rd day and after that it's pretty much all uphill. The thing about jail though is that you can't really do anything that's going to make you better faster... you can't go outside for a walk, you don't have loved ones nearby for support, the food they give you is soo not an ideal diet for withdrawal, your options for cardio exercises are extremely limited, and it's hard to sleep or get any rest because of how bright and noisy it is. Hell, it's even difficult to stay hydrated, because all they serve you is milk. If you want water, you need to buy a cup from the commissary and then get it from the sink. Sooo in those ways, jail can definitely make withdrawals last longer than if a person was getting the proper diet/exercise/mental support and can make them a lot harder to deal with. It's different for everyone tho. But yeah. He looked like a zombie when you saw him because he felt like one, lol.

As for the visiting thing... ask him. That's another thing that's gonna be different for everyone. For me personally, I didn't want anything to do with ANYTHING that required me to get out of the fetal position. I just wanted to lay there. I had zero interest in visits, from anyone, and I loathed meal times and medical visits and count and literally everything else that required getting out of my rack...

buut at the same time, being able to see your loved ones can have a pretty big impact on your state of mind while you're locked up. It just depends. No one can really answer that one for you except for him.

Don't worry about asking a lot of questions, that's what we're all here for

 

[Aveana]

Well yeah part of the reason heroin numbs your feelings is because you don't have to think about your problems. Feelings are reactions to thoughts. You don't have to think about anything at all really... that's why heroin has so much appeal to people who are predisposed to things like anxiety and ADD and bipolar and other high-strung disorders... cuz the high takes all of those racing thoughts and things away... you are literally avoiding reality.

If you say that his 2nd and 3rd day was last week, he should be feeling A LOT better by now. Withdrawal peaks around the 3rd day and after that it's pretty much all uphill. The thing about jail though is that you can't really do anything that's going to make you better faster... you can't go outside for a walk, you don't have loved ones nearby for support, the food they give you is soo not an ideal diet for withdrawal, your options for cardio exercises are extremely limited, and it's hard to sleep or get any rest because of how bright and noisy it is. Hell, it's even difficult to stay hydrated, because all they serve you is milk. If you want water, you need to buy a cup from the commissary and then get it from the sink. Sooo in those ways, jail can definitely make withdrawals last longer than if a person was getting the proper diet/exercise/mental support and can make them a lot harder to deal with. It's different for everyone tho. But yeah. He looked like a zombie when you saw him because he felt like one, lol.

As for the visiting thing... ask him. That's another thing that's gonna be different for everyone. For me personally, I didn't want anything to do with ANYTHING that required me to get out of the fetal position. I just wanted to lay there. I had zero interest in visits, from anyone, and I loathed meal times and medical visits and count and literally everything else that required getting out of my rack...

buut at the same time, being able to see your loved ones can have a pretty big impact on your state of mind while you're locked up. It just depends. No one can really answer that one for you except for him.

Don't worry about asking a lot of questions, that's what we're all here for

Thanks so much for answering me, it does help A LOT. Good to know that he should be in a better state now and possibly would be happy to see me tomorrow or day after.

He did tell me that he only gets water from the tap and it's so cold sleeping on the floor. He asked money from me on the 3rd day, telling he wanted to get food. I know he can actually get drugs with money inside, so after much begging he was given $20 rather than $100. Now that you told me how is it like inside, I would feel bad if I did not give money at all the other day thinking he only wanted to get a fix - but maybe all he wanted was to get better food. He even asked if I brought any drink for him - in which I didn't.

Oh yeah I did tell him on the 3rd day that I will only visit him again a week after, and he asked me why not the next day? So I guess he did wanted me to see me. Possibly he looked unhappy because he was suffering inside.

Ok so you said heroin takes away all the running thoughts - is that mean when I was talking to him while he was smoking heroin, nothing really got into his mind?

 

[xburtonchic]

No that doesn't mean nothing you've said to him has ever gotten into his mind. Heroin addicts are still capable of thinking, it's more of a feeling that you just... don't care. You have no worries, problems aren't real or at least they can be dealt with later, etc. It just means that some of his memories were shrouded with that whole "non-reality" veil while he was using. Like, when he's using, that's not who he really is as a person... if that makes sense. He could get clean and find that he has completely different interests and feelings and thought patterns than he did when he was using. Idk, it's reallyyy hard to explain lol.

 

[Aveana]

Thanks for your explanation - that confirms my thoughts about how heroin affects the user, and how it is like going for withdrawal. I always try to understand and be patient with his constant changing of attitude, as I know the culprit is the drug itself.

All this while, I never tell him directly to get clean because I believe the will must comes from himself. I only try to make him aware that all the troubles he got himself into were the consequences of the drug using, so that he can see the negatives outweigh the positives - and hopefully he will eventually quit on his own will.

If you know how else I can help him, do let me know. Thanks!

 

[cj]

Thanks for your explanation - that confirms my thoughts about how heroin affects the user, and how it is like going for withdrawal. I always try to understand and be patient with his constant changing of attitude, as I know the culprit is the drug itself.

All this while, I never tell him directly to get clean because I believe the will must comes from himself. I only try to make him aware that all the troubles he got himself into were the consequences of the drug using, so that he can see the negatives outweigh the positives - and hopefully he will eventually quit on his own will.

If you know how else I can help him, do let me know. Thanks!

Don't take this the wrong way but you have no idea what it is like to go thru withdrawal. Hate to be crude but I would rather have my nuts ripped off and fed to me than to kick a decent habit without any meds in jail. Hell is a place on earth. I don't know what his charge is or how long he will be in there but odds are he will use again when he gets out. I guarantee you he is thinking about how he is going to get high as soon as he is released. When he gets out you too should have a serious conversation about getting him on maintenance if he doesn't feel he can stay off the heroin. Good luck.

 

[Jagdfeld]

You didn't bail him out because you wanted him to detox in a jail cell?

I assume you've never been locked up. I can't think of any worse place on earth for a rapid detox to occur, with no clinical supervision and absolutely no support of any kind. I remember a woman who was locked up while addicted to 100mg of methadone, and after the 16th day following severe delerium, dehydration, and malnutrition, collapsed and was sent to the hospital. Never heard about her again.

It's obvious you are oblivious to the perils of drug addiction. Good intentions do not equal good results. This is a disastrous way you have chosen to help him; though he did ostensibly arrive in his situation by his own accord, he needs professional help, not to be confined to a cell with absolutely no one who cares about his life.

 

[Cliffy78]

Go bail him out!
Jail or no jail, if he's gonna use again the he's gonna use, period.
Jail is no joke, he might be so weak from wd'ing that he can't defend himself properly from other inmates who have nothing to lose.
How long is he in for? What's the bail?
He's gonna be really pissed off if he finds out you could've bailed him out but didn't. He's going through some real terrible shit right now and your leaving him at the mercy of co's and inmates? Lmfao!! I'd curb my chick quick if I found out she left me to rot "for my own good"...

 

[BlueSaffron]

Have to agree with the last two posters. You're kind of playing god "leaving him in for his own good". Besides, I'm not really sure it's for his own good - you say it's "so he'll feel my love and care for him". I wouldn't feel like someone loved and cared for me if they left me in jail, heroin habit or no heroin habit. When I got arrested my bf bailed me out that night, as soon as I called him. THAT made me feel loved and cared for. If he'd left me in I wouldn't felt like he didn't care at all. It sounds like you're trying to manipulate his feelings by keeping him in there. That's just not cool. If I were you, I'd bail him out. You can't FORCE someone to quit, it has to be when they're ready.

 

[cj]

Yeah I agree if you care about him bail him out and get him some proffesional help.

 

[phactor]

Is this his first arrest? Has he been in treatment before? Does he want to get clean? There are tons of factors to consider when it comes to addiction.

Also, ultimately its your choice to bail him out or not. You know the situation far better then us. I personally cannot imagine what detoxing in the joint must be like, and I hope to God I never do. Like others have said, only he can get clean. Sometimes jail is the experience that people need to ultimately spur recovery. Pain is often a motivator for change IMO. I know this might sound harsh, but ask yourself how much you are willing to put up with. If he wants to use, he will use. Bail or no bail.

 

[Aveana]

You didn't bail him out because you wanted him to detox in a jail cell?

I assume you've never been locked up. I can't think of any worse place on earth for a rapid detox to occur, with no clinical supervision and absolutely no support of any kind. I remember a woman who was locked up while addicted to 100mg of methadone, and after the 16th day following severe delerium, dehydration, and malnutrition, collapsed and was sent to the hospital. Never heard about her again.

It's obvious you are oblivious to the perils of drug addiction. Good intentions do not equal good results. This is a disastrous way you have chosen to help him; though he did ostensibly arrive in his situation by his own accord, he needs professional help, not to be confined to a cell with absolutely no one who cares about his life.

I didn't leave him detoxing cold turkey in lock up, I brought him medications and he confirmed he received and took all the medications when I visited him just now. Today is his 8th day in lockup.

I can't sleep for many nights because I can't stop thinking of how bad his condition is in lockup. I do feel bad. That is why I opened this thread at the first place to hear from you guys - to know how can I help him.

I will update how is he doing now after I reply all the posts below.