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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The EADD I'm Fucked Megathread v. I'm starting to like Dubstep...

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XANAX is THE pill that works best for anxiety imo or Librium but you never see that unless scripted it seems..
 
Five for a fiver, penny change. I agree, on open display along with all the smokes, stims, diphenidine/MXP and other stuff.

They have an excellent selection, but I do agree, uninformed people could pick up a benzo addiction. Myself I tend to prefer just keeping some around for those odd times when they are needed. Or after picking up a couple of grams of ethylphenidate, although I've actually never noticed a hangover from banging that lot, even at 2-3g over a day and night (consecutive). But fucking christ in hades, it is INSANELY reinforcing. Scarily so. I've managed to find myself locked in a public loo shooting the stuff for 2 hours before I realized 'best get home'. Perhaps it even exceeds the compulsiveness of coke, which I don't find nearly so reinforcing as the EtPHD.

Probably not going to overdo it on the eph though tomorrow morning, as I'm planning on having a day of surreal scifi fuckedupness in the form of diphenidine and MXP.

Never had alprazolam myself, according to one of my GP psychotropic rx'ing guides its been blacklisted for NHS prescription here in the UK. Not sure how current and up to date that is though. Pyrazolam is the only one of the triazolobenzos that I've tried, but it is a good benzo, although IMO nitrazepam still takes 1st prize of all the ones I've had (chlordiazepoxide, diaz, desmethyldiaz, lorazepam, loprazolam, nitrazepam, pyrazolam, etiz, oxazepam) that I can think of atm, plus the 3 Z-drugs.

Nitrazepam is favourite, followed by pyraz and loprazolam. I gather the latter is a little uncommon, but it is used here. I hadn't heard of it before my GP scripted it me a while back, although not on it now. Chlormethiazole is my current downer on rx, and better by far than any benzo, closest match to barbital I've had amongst all the GABAa-modulating downers, its fucking fantastic for comedowns, and I kinda like adding some (orally of course, or plugged, I have heard of it being shot, but its an oily liquid freebase so most unsuitable, especially as it would melt syringes), beats a few of the older sedatives too, like chlorbutol, chloral hydrate and paraldehyde (not difficult, paraldehyde stinks something awful, tastes foul, possibly eats plastics as I've heard of it being given IV in glass syringes) and can pack a hangover from hell)

I really want to compare it to methaqualone, glutethimide and ethchlorvynol. Those three seem most interesting, especially glutethimide, given its CYP-P450-2D6 inducing properties. If it can turn codeine into something feeling more like H, I can only wonder what it may do with oxycodone->oxymorphone. Not to mention being a strong downer in its own right. Will definitely have to make some one day and find out.
 
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Look after yourself flo <3 plzzz

This xanax hasn't monged me out quite like i expected, imagined they'd ne heavy, but far nicer than etiz though. sleep soon me thinks. healthy brekkie tomorrow, healthy dinner then another naughty dabble

Nighty night you sexy fuckers
 
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Haha sounds like a nice way to celebrate the exam being over =D

As for anxiety... its absolute shite isn't it. Had it on and off for years, seems to have subsided with age though. and quitting meph helped alot. feel like i've gained some kind of inner peace over the years. Have you always had it?

Well that gives me some hope! Maybe it's something to do with my age, I don't know.

I've always been quiet/shy but obviously that's a personality trait rather than a symptom of social anxiety. In hindsight I was pretty awkward in school, I had friends but I dreaded speaking up in class and having conversations with people I didn't know very well because I was terrified I would seem stupid. But I would say it has gotten much worse in the last few years, so bad that I'm often rather disinhibited in social situations. Went a bit off the rails for a while. The drugs probably didn't help much, and I suffered from chronic, low grade depression for most of the last 4 years.

Xanax is pretty good stuff much prefer to valium/etz.....

Agreed.

Edit: Good night Dan!
 
You actually rate librium/chlordiazepoxide? its one hell of a piss-weak benzo IMO, got scripted it once, was absolute bollocks.
 
tonight has been a fucking war zone, ha-hah, in the best possible way

I dropped three tabs of acid on a pretty empty stomach at five the previous day.

Then had half a gold bar and a bit of MD crystal.

Then I remember getting on the k, and mother of god. That combination, when your tripping balls. seriously I know that mdma and lsd is a beautiful combo, but a bit of decent k on top, and It's like nothing I've explained. fucking shot me into a dream world
 
Planning a 3g diphenidine trip later once the place to get it opens, with a side order of ethylphenidate, some IV MXP, 5-fluoropentyl-APINACA, and just maybe, some beta-keto-2CB. Although I if I buy the last of those (and of course some benzos, pyrazolam most likely to end the day and chill out) this time I will NOT be snorting it. Fuck me, that has to be the most painful thing thats ever gone up my nose. And that includes a blob of molten sodium metal/traces of hot NaOH from an electrolytic cell after the argon tank I was using ran out. Bang, crack, molten globule of sodium straight up one nostril, left a crater burnt in my septum that took quite a while to heal. But it came nowhere even close to the BK-2CB in terms of pain. Maybe virola/parika snuff was close to being that bad, but even then, not quite.
 
wake n bake. feels good.

i don't think any GABA-a drugs work for me. like Xannx, can't really feel it and still feel the same after taking bars which i don't even have much of a gaba tolerence.

i could not even think of snorting bk 2cb. ethylphenidate is so worse than 2cb. its highly feindy. never snort eph anymore. oral is good enough.


worth turning a couple grams coke into crack?
 
Perhaps try a barb, or chlormethiazole. That one packs quite a punch at larger than entry-level doses. And even when high-dose benzos have failed to put me out, chlormethiazole doesn't.

Not tried the parent 2C-B itself. Although I should be trying 2C-D, and if I get round to it, having a crack at producing a bit of the beta-keto derivative for testing and evaluation. I do wonder also about beta-keto derivatives of psychedelic amphetamines. No reason a 2,5-dimethoxy-4-substituted cathinone, or hell, maybe even isocathinone, might not be interesting. Mmm, why didn't I think of that before...I imagine BK-isocathinones are more or less completely unstudied. Pthalimidopropiophenone analogs of existing beta-keto versions of phenethylamine psychedelics to serve as prodrugs/ban evasion techniques and increase the stability of the primary amine compounds, which is not good at all, with even water solution for plugging BK-2C-B turning into an inert purple substance rapidly, in fact its either inactivated by the body that way or my attempt at plugged use was too slow, and the water used to make up a solution dimerized even as I prepped the syringe-load of it.

Methinks there is much room for several areas of fertile experimentation here, especially with the isocathinones.

Only ever snorted ethylphenidate once, and plugged a few times. The vast majority of times I've done it I've shot it up. Probably not the greatest idea in the world to do regularly, but fuck me, its reinforcing as hell. And makes for top notch speedballs with my prescription morphine and oxy when thrown in with a shot of those two. I bet it would be good with H too, or (the rather lovely) dipropionylmorphine even better. But if your a compulsive person, don't even think about banging it, I limit my use by only buying any on the exact day I get paid, and either using it all then, or over the next day or two and then buying no more until I don't just have money, but actually get paid anew.

About to go pick some up now actually, while I wait to get the other stuff on my list (place for that doesn't open for about an hour and a quater, enough time to waste booting up EPH and shopping for music. I've been wanting the nevermore album with the track 'psalm of lydia' and another of the otep albums. Just love her track 'rise, rebel, resist'. Oh boy, that chick (otep) can scream with the best of them, like for instance, Arch Enemy's angela gossow, and the vocalist on Kittie, both top notch vocalists IMO. If I can manage to tear myself away from my quantum physics reading, got my nose deep in some really interesting articles, especially some stuff on magnetic monopole-like quasiparticles being discovered in spin ices.
 
Well that gives me some hope! Maybe it's something to do with my age, I don't know.

I've always been quiet/shy but obviously that's a personality trait rather than a symptom of social anxiety. In hindsight I was pretty awkward in school, I had friends but I dreaded speaking up in class and having conversations with people I didn't know very well because I was terrified I would seem stupid. But I would say it has gotten much worse in the last few years, so bad that I'm often rather disinhibited in social situations. Went a bit off the rails for a while. The drugs probably didn't help much, and I suffered from chronic, low grade depression for most of the last 4 years.

Can relate to that, i was always fairly quiet and shy as well, more of a thinker.. still kinda am.. was a bit introvert but can be very extroverted, all depends. Always been content with my own company but sociable as well. Pretty rubbish at small talk and shit like that, find it bland and pointless, always have done since i was a lil kid hearing my parents small talk about the weather and dull shite. Love people that babble deep -ness,, reflecting on stuff taken for granted and whatever. Same here on the speaking up in class .. if i was in english and we had to go around the room reading a chapter from a book i'd dread it, class presentations and things like that, although i guess a lot of people are the same

So sorry to hear its gotten worse, and the depression.. Very dark times when its that bad, hopeless, despair, everything feels pointless.. can also relate. most of the depression was my own fault though, infact sending my anxiety and depression through the roof for awhile was my own doing.. abusing booze and meph made it worse.. so then hammer more, etc. cycle. Strangely these days though despite the amount of stuff i hammer its all subsided, dunno why.. and feel more still and calm, that inner peace thing i said about.. feel like i've gained enlightenment at times through tripping but wether thats delusional or not i dunno, tis possible guess. or maybe its age.. or both. i dunno
 
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I've always been quiet/shy but obviously that's a personality trait rather than a symptom of social anxiety. In hindsight I was pretty awkward in school, I had friends but I dreaded speaking up in class and having conversations with people I didn't know very well because I was terrified I would seem stupid. But I would say it has gotten much worse in the last few years, so bad that I'm often rather disinhibited in social situations. Went a bit off the rails for a while. The drugs probably didn't help much, and I suffered from chronic, low grade depression for most of the last 4 years.

Is it wrong that I feel like giving you a big hug right now, whereas if you were some hairy-arsed bloke, I wouldn't be quite so bothered?

Yes it's wrong. :|

I'll end up in that monastery yet...
 
ahhh fuck it had 4ish hours altogether of sleep in last four days...Group hug yepppppppp...<3

I am up and down like a yoyo and I would say I am fairly anxious and shy too but front it out and am told I come over as fairly confident and outgoing-I come from a family where you do not admit to any weakness, you do not cry, hug, you don't admit you're wrong ever, people are not to be given second chances, don't trust anyone...basically I was brought up by a true psychopath. I have railed against some of these instilled ideas my entire life...

Thing is just to keep at least going into social situations or you end up part hermit like me and the longer you disengage from the world the anxiety deepens... Not going to offer any real advice because you need to find what's right for you to alleviate it..I am still trying but although I am often a moaney depressive sounding and sometimes genuinely real feeling of real clinical depression I am an optimist deep down.Sometimes I just have to have a word with myself and remember all the positive things I have...and no the drugs don't help..all the time..sometimes they do. I can now manage the odd social occasion without the crutch of several gs of coke etc and just have a couple of drinks and a lovely time. It's the people you hang out with too...if certain people make you anxious maybe time to be with those that don't..Oh I know it's not that simple..but hopefully you understand what I am attempting to articulate.

People never fail to surprise me. There are cunts out there but there are genuinely others who will just get it, you, how you feel and will just know how to dispel that. <3
 
ahhh fuck it had 4ish hours altogether of sleep in last four days...Group hug yepppppppp...<3

yep yep <3

you do not admit to any weakness, you do not cry, hug, you don't admit you're wrong ever, people are not to be given second chances, don't trust anyone...basically I was brought up by a true psychopath. I have railed against some of these instilled ideas my entire life...

Cold and messed up to say the least,

I am often a moaney depressive sounding and sometimes genuinely real feeling of real clinical depression I am an optimist deep down.Sometimes I just have to have a word with myself and remember all the positive things I have...
People never fail to surprise me. There are cunts out there but there are genuinely others who will just get it, you, how you feel and will just know how to dispel that. <3

Likewise on all of that
 
I just got some bad news. really fucking hurts but I can't change the situation.

i'll never get why this world is a puzzle that i'll never fit.

i've done all these awesome things / experiances to try ad change my life, but it still sucks. though i aint tryin' ta sweat it. stop stressin, life is a prize in ur possession.

[edit] it also takes balls, but tell ppl how you feel. (depression, anxiety, etc) i mean, tell someone who will listen. even your parents. its hard to even put into words, but i told my clsoe friends and it feels a lot better. it was hard, but its actually easy. one of my friends siad she is bipolar, i said life is bipolar. maybe i have that. not sure

i also told my parents that i smoke weed. my mum has always known and didn't care. even when she found drugs, she asked me if i needed help with anything and didn't even take the drugs away. did not expect her to act that way AT ALL.

told my dad and step mum about weed also. my dad , didn't even look at me. it was like he was ashamed of me lol? but then we are all good now. and they actually think weed is ok.

Thank god i ddin't say anything about all the other drugs. yell not yet anyway, but i will.

not sure if i should go to a doctor, they can't do anything about it anyway really? (depression, etc)
 
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You could of being describing myself for the most part there Inflo..

Probably alot of us on here for that matter. Hope we all find our way, as lovely as the drugs are (or were for that matter) they arent the answer, for me anyway. Im planning on having a break from everything to see how I feel after my brains had time to repair a little. Its a scary thought but I know I cant continue the way I am.. Gotta learn to live in this skin comfortably..

<3

Anyways, fucked thread... heroin :|

Roll on holiday, 2 weeks drug free and enjoying the wee ones laugh should be a good start..
 
tonight has been a fucking war zone, ha-hah, in the best possible way

I dropped three tabs of acid on a pretty empty stomach at five the previous day.

Then had half a gold bar and a bit of MD crystal.

Then I remember getting on the k, and mother of god. That combination, when your tripping balls. seriously I know that mdma and lsd is a beautiful combo, but a bit of decent k on top, and It's like nothing I've explained. fucking shot me into a dream world

Haha bet that was amazing =D
 
i've tried everything. i stopped drugs for one year: it changed NOTHING. Though - the drugs can possibly add to the problems
 
it also takes balls, but tell ppl how you feel. (depression, anxiety, etc) i mean, tell someone who will listen. even your parents. its hard to even put into words, but i told my clsoe friends and it feels a lot better. it was hard, but its actually easy. one of my friends siad she is bipolar, i said life is bipolar. maybe i have that. not sure

i also told my parents that i smoke weed. my mum has always known and didn't care. even when she found drugs, she asked me if i needed help with anything and didn't even take the drugs away. did not expect her to act that way AT ALL.

told my dad and step mum about weed also. my dad , didn't even look at me. it was like he was ashamed of me lol? but then we are all good now. and they actually think weed is ok.

Yeah it does take some courage. i rarely tell anyone, dont like to burden people with my shite and dont want peoples sympathy. im even reluctant to say about the stuff i've mentioned on here, if am feeling good or whatever i'll say it, if im depressed or anxious or whatever i wont tell anyone
 
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