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Heroin What would you do different if you had your time again, before you were addicted?

T

teological

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 28, 2011
Messages
475
Location
Morefeindville
Hey guys, I have been an opiate user for a very long time. At least more than 5 years. I have also been a daily user, but I have always taken breaks and have always tried to control my tolerance. I have very rarely exceeded 30mg of Oxy, very rare.

Anyway, I just took another months long tolerance break and the other day I met up with a friend who I had not seen in ages. He is mixing with people that use heroin and get get me very high grade stuff, apparently. Anyway, yesterday by mate bought over a "50" bag or something like that and gave me a spec....I am talking the size of a bloody sprinkle of dust, and the high.....MY GOD THE HIGH, no wait......THE FUCKING HIGH!!!!!!!!! THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN MISSING??!?! WTF....what a waste of time!!!!

I love opiates, all opiates. I wait for my legs to get heavy and I know I am high. But this, heroin, this....my neck, my head, my arms, my god damned EYES FELT HEAVY AND EUPHORIC. Rushing in and out, making noises like I am getting a BJ!!!

Anyway, I can't stop thinking about it today and I have decided I am going to buy a bag, and use ONCE A WEEK MAX. My tolerance is basically 0...

so what would you do NOW from the lessons you have learnt from heroin use...THANKS! Any advice on tolerance levels and if I should go two times a month etc... I am so excited!
 
Basically the same tired advise, if you don't want to regret this decision stop now. If you were satisfied with 30s I would stay there, that is what I would have changed if I could. It seems you already have converted based on your excitement, please limit it as much as possible.

Also be careful too much will make you sick or dead. Maybe different advise will follow.
 
You are so excited eh? Dam man your in for a rough fucking time if your not careful twice a month?? Try more like when your on your deathbed that's the only time heroin use is justified. I controlled my oxy use quite well and managed but once I had to turn to heroin I was a wreck it was all I wanted I traded my pills for more I started Injecting and I dam near killed myself. I have seen so many good hard working people succumb to heroin addiction and it always starts as you did by using pills then one day you try a tiny tiny rail of H and your discover you feel like god has taken over your body each time you use heroin. I know you've already tried it once so chances are your gonna do it again I can't stop you, you probably already know what could very well happen to you but you dismiss it and tell yourself "that won't happen to me" the line every heroin addict told himself at some point in time but then by the time you realise you have a very big problem its too late to just stop.

I couldn't stop despite the fact it ruined every relationship I ever tried to have, I even had blood poisoning and was still hitting the needle 6 times a day while my body couldve died from sepsis, ive damaged my kidneys, my liver is shot and im 23 years old, my mind is forever hooked to opiates, I feel like an old man without opiates flowing through my veins, ive lost a lot of good things to heroin and most of all my zest for life and dreams have diminished due to heroin taking over my life. Suboxone saved me for now without it I would be dead but it only covers up this sickness that lies beneath that will always be there. Heroin has changed me big time it isn't all one big party it very quickly becomes a lot of pain and hurt, which made me a harder more miserable person. It started with once a month then once a week then weekends then you try sticking to Monday morning, Friday and the weekend then its every other day hen your on it daily and need it to get out of bed every morning.

I was miserable the whole time especially near the end of my run I was using 3-4 grams of good quality dope a day and with my fast metabolism and heroin's short half life I couldn't sleep for more than 3 hours without waking up drenched in a pool of sweat, shivering cold, depressed and nauseas. I would wake up at 7 for work use as soon as I woke up since I was always sick as hell opening my eyes then roll out of bed go to work and use every 2 hours then same thing at home until around 10 oclock when I did my last shot and passed out for bed. I could set a timer to it, it was so predictable I would wake up every night at 2 am dopesick as hell and if I didn't have dope next to bed to do then I would have to lay in bed awake in a pool of sweat , crying, thrashing my legs, puking and praying I would die soon because I was such a hopeless loser who couldn't imagine living this way any longer. I would say the same thing over and over I wish I never tried the stuff, I wish I never tried the stuff, but I never once said im glad I tried heroin. I give this lecture a lot but its cause I hate to see people thinking heroin will save them when its not true. I thought I found true love and god found me and took over my body when I first tried H but instead I found the devil in disguise.

Now that's enough lecture for today have fun getting high and falling in love with dope.
Just so you know heroin always wears the pants in the relationship ,Ha, it tells you where your going that day, who you see and even what you think.
 
Last edited:
trainspotter10102 said:
You are so excited eh? Dam man your in for a rough fucking time if your not careful twice a month?? Try more like when your on your deathbed that's the only time heroin use is justified. I controlled my oxy use quite well and managed but once I had to turn to heroin I was a wreck it was all I wanted I traded my pills for more I started Injecting and I dam near killed myself. I have seen so many good hard working people succumb to heroin addiction and it always starts as you did by using pills then one day you try a tiny tiny rail of H and your discover you feel like god has taken over your body each time you use heroin. I know you've already tried it once so chances are your gonna do it again I can't stop you, you probably already know what could very well happen to you but you dismiss it and tell yourself "that won't happen to me" the line every heroin addict told himself at some point in time but then by the time you realise you have a very big problem its too late to just stop.

I couldn't stop despite the fact it ruined every relationship I ever tried to have, I even had blood poisoning and was still hitting the needle 6 times a day while my body couldve died from sepsis, ive damaged my kidneys, my liver is shot and im 23 years old, my mind is forever hooked to opiates, I feel like an old man without opiates flowing through my veins, ive lost a lot of good things to heroin and most of all my zest for life and dreams have diminished due to heroin taking over my life. Suboxone saved me for now without it I would be dead but it only covers up this sickness that lies beneath that will always be there. Heroin has changed me big time it isn't all one big party it very quickly becomes a lot of pain and hurt, which made me a harder more miserable person. It started with once a month then once a week then weekends then you try sticking to Monday morning, Friday and the weekend then its every other day hen your on it daily and need it to get out of bed every morning.

I was miserable the whole time especially near the end of my run I was using 3-4 grams of good quality dope a day and with my fast metabolism and heroin's short half life I couldn't sleep for more than 3 hours without waking up drenched in a pool of sweat, shivering cold, depressed and nauseas. I would wake up at 7 for work use as soon as I woke up since I was always sick as hell opening my eyes then roll out of bed go to work and use every 2 hours then same thing at home until around 10 oclock when I did my last shot and passed out for bed. I could set a timer to it, it was so predictable I would wake up every night at 2 am dopesick as hell and if I didn't have dope next to bed to do then I would have to lay in bed awake in a pool of sweat , crying, thrashing my legs, puking and praying I would die soon because I was such a hopeless loser who couldn't imagine living this way any longer. I would say the same thing over and over I wish I never tried the stuff, I wish I never tried the stuff, but I never once said im glad I tried heroin. I give this lecture a lot but its cause I hate to see people thinking heroin will save them when its not true. I thought I found true love and god found me and took over my body when I first tried H but instead I found the devil in disguise.

Now that's enough lecture for today have fun getting high and falling in love with dope.
Just so you know heroin always wears the pants in the relationship ,Ha, it tells you where your going that day, who you see and even what you think.
Click to expand...


Well, if this persons dark road of heroin addiction doesn't prevent people from using heroin, I don't know what will.

Thanks for sharing Train......
 
szuko000 said:
basically the same tired advise, if you don't want to regret this decision stop now. If you were satisfied with 30s i would stay there, that is what i would have changed if i could. It seems you already have converted based on your excitement, please limit it as much as possible..
Click to expand...

this.
 
yes its the greatest high ever, problem is hell will soon be upon you and thats not a joke or exaggeration. You are about to go down a path of evil bliss that you or anyone can never be prepared for. Heroin is pure evil, even long time addicts will tell you that. I was clean for 6 years and this winter I shot up twice...once the dope gets its fangs into you....it NEVER leaves. I'm clean now..havent used H for about 6 months or so, but its always on my mind. Tread lightly friend.
 
Trainspotter is 100% right on all points.Believe ev erything he/she told you because every word of it is true.I am 40 years old and started doing heroin in 1990,when I was 16.For about 4 or 5 years I kept my use occasional and casual while I watched others become Hardcore addicts within 6 months.So I thought "it will never get ahold of me like that,i can handle it etc..."But it's got the rest of your life to get you and it WILL get you.By my early 20s I was a hardcore,every day junkie.I've been off the shit for a little over 3 years now.That makes it a 20 +year battle and even though you couldn't pay me to touch it again there is never a time I wouldn't loke some.I still have dreams about it.It is a visciously addictive drug that will rob you of everything that makes you you.Not to mention every penny you make,your job(because being a junkie is a full time job)your relationships with everyone in your life who is not a piece of shit,your freedom(you will eventually get caught and do some time),your possesions and anything and everything you hold dear.Think back to what you said about it.It was love at first sight.Same with me.I thought it was the answer to every problem I had.It only ends up being the source of a whole new set of problems.I had a job in a field I loved.I actually liked going to work in the mornings.Now I'm a multiple felon and can never work in that field again since I worked with a lot of controlled drugs in that job.In fact,because of my criminal record,I can't hardly find any job.Employers typically don't hire former addicts and dealers(yes,I sold the shit too and today have nothing to show for it except a bunch of track scars).I also had a promising musical career with an album about to come out due to a pending record label deal with Metal Blade records.I lost all that.I don't even own my guitars,amps etc...The pawn shop does.Sorry for going on and on like this but I am only trying to help you.I don't even know you and yet the thought of you going down the path I took makes me sad.Please,for the love of God,stop your heroin use right now.The craving and needle fixation(you WILL start shooting)never leaves.Every day is a battle to stay clean and some of the changes to your brain are permanent.I'm never truly happy anymore,ever.I sincerely hope you take my and trainspotter's word to heart.Don't fuck up your life,it,s not worth it.Oh,and by the way,that kick ass high doesn't last long.Before you know it all heroin does is get you to normal and being dope sick is a living hell.All the best to you friend.
 
Something I forgot to mention.I suffer from chronic pain and a severe panic disorder.I was basically self medicating.Even with all this "clean time" under my belt,the legitmate,legally prescribed medcations I take don't really help that much.I have to take insane ammounts of strong pain-killers and Xanax and they barely help at all thanks to my former addiction.Just another lovely aspect of heroin addiction that stays with you FOREVER!Please don't make the same mistakes I did.If it wasn't such a living hell I wouldn't care so much about the actvities and life choices of someone I don't even know.If my story keeps even one person from going down this path to destruction then all this typing will be worth it.I sincerely hope you don't use H anymore.PM me if you need anything in the way of help or support.I like to party too but there are much better ways to go about it.
 
Wow, thanks for the responses guys. I should have expected these types of responses from Bluelight. Trainspotter and downerhead, I see where you are coming from, and it has scared me...but I do not want to do my other opiates after feeling like that. Today is my second day opiate free, and I am going to try to get a month clean again, then I will see...I think I will do it, and I will try my hardest to keep it to once a week MAX.

I was hoping more for responses like, don't IV, keep it to weekends, things like that. I know it can ruin your life....anyway
 
Hey man, coming from a heroin addict I cant tell you that oxys will effect your life if your not careful. And Roxies and all opiates. But heroin is a hell of a different level. I thought itd just be another opiate. i was into snorting a couple oxy 5s and dropping a couple hydros and percs here and there. Then the day i got my first bag i was like, no i wont get addicted. Just wanted the full experience. So i ended up buying 2 bags. Next thing i knew theres a needle in my arm 2 months later. Snorting heroin is no joke. Its your choice weather to do it or not, but my piece of advice is to stick to your opiates if your craving them that bad. Heroin isnt something to take lightly. It can, and will run your life. Be careful, use cautiously. Nice post!
 
Pandora's box has been opened!

dankplantgrower said:
Omg! Omg! I love this stuff so much! I swear ill only ever use a single bag per weekend!
Click to expand...
You shouldn't make promises you probably won't be able to keep.

If you think you can stick to your once per week schedule, keep in mind that your definition of a week may change. E.g. you'd use friday and tell yourself it's okay to use again on monday, since it's a new week. :D
Before falling into that trap, I would suggest getting a calendar. Mark every day on which you've been using. Make sure there are at least 6 days between sessions. When you notice there are only 5 or less days, you'll at least know that you are fucked if you're honest to yourself.
 
I look back 5 years ago when I was heavy into Oxy and my buddy gave me some stamps to try. I'm so glad I didn't like it at all. In fact, after only snorting a couple bags I started going into a whole new type of opiate withdrawal I never knew existed. It's amazing how fucking naive and stupid I was at the time.
 
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