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Why does he care if he has a girlfriend?

Ashley S

Ashley S

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 27, 2014
Messages
30
Location
Maryland
Hi! If you read my last post then you know who I am talking about. Out of nowhere Kevin (i'll just call him that) Calls my house phone and my mom answers, he wanted to speak with my dad but then he said to my mom "Why did you post a pic of Ashley on your Facebook? She got 50 likes and they are all by men!! There are creeps on there! She's going to have creepy guys hit her up now!"

My mom said "No, just my friends can see the pic, and I am allowed to post a pic of my daughter. It wasn't liked by all men, it was a mix of women and men, and some of the guys are married and have daughters her age." He then went onto say that he wanted to go to a Baseball game with me and my dad, what the fuck??? First off, Why does he care a if he has a girlfriend? Also why is he trying to go to a game with me and my dad considering he has a girlfriend? Also why is he getting jealous about the older men that liked my pic? Nobody young liked or commented, it's all my mom's friends lol. So I don't know why he would be mad about that? I know to move on, and I am trying to, but this just baffles me, I don't know how to take this. What does this sound like to you? Honest answers please! Nothing will make me change my mind about him, I am just curious as to why he would get so upset that my mother posted a pic of me on FB?
 
I had to read the other thread to get a better idea of the situation. He seems like he doesn't know what or who he wants. Has a baby with some other girl whose friends bully other girls being the first red flag. Next he does the disappearing act when you turned him down, that's not abnormal because maybe he really did get his feelings hurt by that. If you really liked him, you would have given him a shot. I think it's a good thing that you followed your gut instincts by keeping your distance from him sexually.

So now if he is bragging to your brother about his hot new girlfriend, why is he even bothering with wanting to go to a ball game? And pestering your parents? That to me is strange and more red flags something isn't straight with him. Like you said, if he had a girlfriend, why stalk your mom's face book and examine who liked your picture? Sounds like he has too much time on his hands. Maybe would have ended up differently if you two had sex, good thing you didn't. I know you care for him but he seems like a wanna be cassanova.

Let your family know that you don't wish to pursue a relationship with this guy. Maybe then he will give up and move on to someone else. He seems like trouble in my opinion. He's already saddled with a baby and girlfriend who may not be such an ex. You probably knew this was not an ideal relationship, so it's best to move on. You can easily find a man who doesn't play games like this. Wish you the best!
 
T. Calderone said:
I had to read the other thread to get a better idea of the situation. He seems like he doesn't know what or who he wants. Has a baby with some other girl whose friends bully other girls being the first red flag. Next he does the disappearing act when you turned him down, that's not abnormal because maybe he really did get his feelings hurt by that. If you really liked him, you would have given him a shot. I think it's a good thing that you followed your gut instincts by keeping your distance from him sexually.

So now if he is bragging to your brother about his hot new girlfriend, why is he even bothering with wanting to go to a ball game? And pestering your parents? That to me is strange and more red flags something isn't straight with him. Like you said, if he had a girlfriend, why stalk your mom's face book and examine who liked your picture? Sounds like he has too much time on his hands. Maybe would have ended up differently if you two had sex, good thing you didn't. I know you care for him but he seems like a wanna be cassanova.

Let your family know that you don't wish to pursue a relationship with this guy. Maybe then he will give up and move on to someone else. He seems like trouble in my opinion. He's already saddled with a baby and girlfriend who may not be such an ex. You probably knew this was not an ideal relationship, so it's best to move on. You can easily find a man who doesn't play games like this. Wish you the best!
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Thank you so much for the reply! I do agree with you. I think he's crazy to be honest. I think he is literally nuts and doesn't know what he's doing. He seems very confused and crazy to me! lol. He is on my mom's friend's list on FB, but still he shouldn't be telling my mom what and what not to do. I just don't understand cause him and that girl seem to be all lovey dovey with each other, and she even posted pics of flowers and he put a wink face under it lol, so I am assuming it's from him? Pretty much the writing is on the wall, that they are dating. It's just weird to me cause he seems to be really infatuated with this girl, yet he is upset and jealous about guys that liked my picture? I don't get why cause these guys are in their 50's! That is not appealing at all, it's not like a bunch of young guys liked my pic. No young guy did, haha. So I don't know. But thank you for your reply. I appreciate you taking the time out and reading both of my posts! :)
 
Another thing is why is he snooping into your mother's face book? I understand if he is friends with your parents, but still he has no business getting riled up that people like your photo. He is acting jealous and that's not appropriate so maybe your mom or dad could have a word with him? Just seems strange to me. By the way, Welcome to Bluelight! <3
 
Mild jealousy is a normal part of a new relationship and tends to wear off as trusts are built up. Getting jealous over your profile picture is NOT mild jealousy and intimidating your mother is crossing a HUGE boundary. If he is acting like this now, it is likely that his behaviour will get worse as he carries on justifying it to himself and it will soon become the norm. You deserve better.

My advice is to run far away from this man, while you still have the chance.
 
T. Calderone said:
Another thing is why is he snooping into your mother's face book? I understand if he is friends with your parents, but still he has no business getting riled up that people like your photo. He is acting jealous and that's not appropriate so maybe your mom or dad could have a word with him? Just seems strange to me. By the way, Welcome to Bluelight!
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Thank you for welcoming me to this site! I love this site, so I will definitely be staying haha! :) Well he is Facebook friends with my mom so he probably saw the picture in his news feed on Facebook, cause my mom only shared the pic with her Facebook friends and he is one of them. I completely agree with you. I am just trying to figure out a way to tell my parents, but it's kinda hard to, considering that we never dated, and we just were platonic friends, but I really don't know how to go about this. It's kinda difficult, cause if we dated and stuff, then I could easily just say "He's my ex I don't want you guys engaging with my ex" and that would be more understandable, but I know there's going to be questions and confusion, and there would be drama cause of my brothers and my dad they are ridiculous. So I am just trying to think of a way. Thank you!
 
Minxy said:
Mild jealousy is a normal part of a new relationship and tends to wear off as trusts are built up. Getting jealous over your profile picture is NOT mild jealousy and intimidating your mother is crossing a HUGE boundary. If he is acting like this now, it is likely that his behaviour will get worse as he carries on justifying it to himself and it will soon become the norm. You deserve better.

My advice is to run far away from this man, while you still have the chance.
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Hi! I'm sorry I didn't specify. He's not my ex nor was he ever my boyfriend. He was just a platonic friend I had feelings for, and he did things that made me reconsider going further with him. But thank you for the advice and for your input! :)
 
Ashley, how old is Kevin? I've read both your post, and he seems like a selfish guy. He never gave you consideration when he stopped talking to you for a couple months at a time, and he gets bent out of shape about your pictures on facebook. Seems like he's more concerned about his own emotional feelings. If you're going to date him, he should definitely prove his loyalty. I would completely refrain from having sex for a long time.

If you do decide to give him a chance, tell him how it is. You don't play games & you want a man. A man that will stand by & support his woman, and consider her feelings before his own.

But like everyone is saying, he's probably not right for you.
 
How old is he? To be honest, that sounds like how a 15 year old would act. If you're that age, realize you'll both grow out of it. If you're not that age, just ignore the guy.
 
Teabag Johnny said:
Ashley, how old is Kevin? I've read both your post, and he seems like a selfish guy. He never gave you consideration when he stopped talking to you for a couple months at a time, and he gets bent out of shape about your pictures on facebook. Seems like he's more concerned about his own emotional feelings. If you're going to date him, he should definitely prove his loyalty. I would completely refrain from having sex for a long time.

If you do decide to give him a chance, tell him how it is. You don't play games & you want a man. A man that will stand by & support his woman, and consider her feelings before his own.

But like everyone is saying, he's probably not right for you.
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He's 28 years old. I know, it's kinda embarrassing lol. I am not considering him, I just don't understand why he is mad and jealous about guys liking my picture when it's all old guys that are married with kids my age. So I highly doubt it's in a sexual way. I am just curious about his behavior, I am definitely not considering him lol. Thank you for your input! :)
 
llama112 said:
How old is he? To be honest, that sounds like how a 15 year old would act. If you're that age, realize you'll both grow out of it. If you're not that age, just ignore the guy.
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Lol, I said the exact same thing! He's definitely immature, but no. I am 21 years old, he's 28 years old, so that is pretty bad, haha. Thanks.
 
Ashley S said:
He's 28 years old. I know, it's kinda embarrassing lol. I am not considering him, I just don't understand why he is mad and jealous about guys liking my picture when it's all old guys that are married with kids my age. So I highly doubt it's in a sexual way. I am just curious about his behavior, I am definitely not considering him lol. Thank you for your input! :)
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I would say he's extremely jealous & he doesn't like you getting attention :D I know he has a girlfriend, but I'm sure he likes you.

But he's a little immature for 28... So, you know how that goes.
 
This is exactly why people should delete facebook and lay off the social media guys like this in the past would be the creepy guy in the bar that sits all night and says one word to girls and gets crazy when the girl talks to a different guy. In this era they sit at home and build ridiculous ideas and twisted emotions with thier pants down on the computer searching facebook and i cant believe he said anything to your mom.

i can tell hes bein protective of u cause he cares but why the hell get upset if u get likes id be more concerned if people didnt like it.any girl i have had feelings for i wana be protective but do it in the real world if a creepy guy is messing with u not on the net.who the hell cares.

.stay faaaarrrr away if hes 28 and is like this hes stuck in his ways and will not change for the better in the near future..and hello from a fellow MD bluelighter!!.lol %)
 
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he's weird and being possesive when he isn't in a relationship with you?

this guy has so many red flags in his lifestyle and behaviour patterns i would avoid him like the plague
 
llama112 said:
How old is he? To be honest, that sounds like how a 15 year old would act. If you're that age, realize you'll both grow out of it. If you're not that age, just ignore the guy.
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+1000 lol now that you are posting this thread OP yeahhhh, I think you should just forget about him, That's quite immature and annoying. And you say 28 years old oh golly. I believe you have mentioned that you also have feelings for him on your other thread, sorry darling but not worth your time. You need someone stable and would not play around with your feelings. You'll find someone don't you worry <3
 
This dude caught some feelings for u somewhere in your friendship, maybe he misinterpreted idk. But this dude definitely likes u if he's buggin like that.
He through up a HUGE warning sign by acting up to a FB post by ur mom. If u ever do get with this dude he won't let u leave the house!! I was like this when I was 14 lmfao!!! This dudes 28? Wtf!!! Run for the hills!!!
You should really shut this dude the fuck down as rudely and as publicly as possible, just put him on blast!! I'd talk to your parents too, just be honest so they can see this dudes a fuckin idiotic moron. Until he's totally shut down he's gonna keep coming at u...
 
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