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Gibberings CLXIX: Theresa May's Amazing Legs

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SummerSerenade said:
I am literally looking forward to sleep tonight so much. I think this is actually the longest I've ever gone without sleeping and I am fucking shattered. Bed looks so tempting but got stuff to do still :(
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How much left is there to do? you'll sleep well tonight i bet... going without sleep for too long is rough

Nearly a bottle of 12.5% red wine gone, rarely drink wine, i feel more pissed off this than half a 70cl bottle of 37.5% vodka, think the years of drinking it have made me immune to it... somehow. not too sure on plans tonight yet, feeling as lazy as shite, last weekend was wicked, this weekend not so... yet
 
lurching said:
Haven't tried 2-meo-diph but I'm not a fan of the "emergence effects" of ket, mxe or even the meo-pcp/pce's. My NMDA tolerance has been high for a long while and these days I just feel like neurons are sizzling whenever I come back from a decent dose. Completely flat affect and primitive thinking-- I felt like some hollow insectoid when it wore off last time and my visual field was buzzing with bright static. Can't really deal with that part anymore without benzos or opiates or other cushioning so I try to just stay away, especially the longer lasting ones like 2-meo-diph I'll avoid. The emergence just feels... excitotoxic.
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I can relate to that. Methoxphenidine at roughly 150mg oral dose makes me feel like a crystalline robot crab or something, i get shit done, do housework etc, interact with people, but it is a hollow and empty experience. I miss 3-meo-pcp and mxe a lot.
 
The last few times I ordered mxe it was a shitty synth and I'm not even sure it was mxe, the stuff just came flowing back out of my nose like my body was rejhecting it.

Anyway now my throat is on fire after snorting that bk2cb. I feel a little better already, despite the tears. I know oral dosing is better but fuck it, this is bringing me back to the real world.
 
spacejunk said:
Potent, but not "strong" - if you're on a daily maintenance dose.

If you are on suboxone maintenance, you are still physically addicted.
Have you had a considerable period of abstaining from opiates - long enough to have fully experience acute and post-acute withdrawal symptoms?
(Being on suboxone does not count)

If you have, I cannot understand how you could possibly make a statement like "The whole point of PAWS is that the brain is healing. The person needs to go through that process, there is no avoiding it" like it is some penance for becoming addicted.
Fuck that. People need to do whatever it takes to get better and not relapse.
PAWS is one of the hardest parts of getting clean/getting off opiates in regards to relapse.
Without getting into the pros/cons of SSRIs and "antidepressants" more generally - it is not as simple as "the brain is healing" - this is oversimplified and to put it simply; just not true.


Sorry, but this is just gibberish. If you don't understand something, perhaps reserve judgement on it until you can get a greater understanding? I don't mean to have a go at you, but seriously - this makes no sense at all.
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Typical I express an opinion and get ripped apart over it. It is my OPINION please accept and stop trying to change it. I'm allowed to have an opinion just because I was on codeine and not bloody heroin. I do believe you should suffer it as I way of never going back there. MDB has a point with the relapse bit but he was not condescending in his comment to me. You all say addiction is addiction and I'm not going to be treated different because I was on codeine and not heroin but the moment I have any sort of opinion I'm quickly put into my place of "how I've never been on strong opiates so thus wouldn't know" I find it extremely patronising and offensive.

Do not try to belittle me spacejunk I found your post to be one of the most offensive posts I've read since joining BL how DARE you treat me like I've no clue what I am talking about. I have every clue as well as a Psychology degree where we were talking about neurotransmitters as well as a counselling diploma taught by one of the best psychotherapists in the country - who knows a thing or two about SSRIs. I AM VERY AWARE OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, thank you very much. Kindly don't speak to me again if you are going to talk to me in that manner I won't have it.

On the up side I've had a lovely day gardening, lawn mooring, de-weeding and watering the plants.

Urban how long do you go on sunbeds for per week? I don't care if I've increased my risk of skin cancer. We could all die tomorrow of a plague or whatever. I've spent most of my life being paranoid of things, no more! If I can get brown by going on sunbeds twice a week for 9 minutes I'm gna do!

Evey
 
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I've had a shit day doing charity work. Gotta love it when you spend all day fixing someones problems until they are amazed and really happy, and then they just say ok im off now thanks a million!
 
ScotchMist said:
Thanks all, it's most definitely the time... Two days in, wasn't to bad yesterday but I'm feeling it now, started taking some diazs now to try and relax a little. Think tomorrow I'll start the lefexidine as I've only got 2 days worth..

So yeah, got to stop wallowing in my self pity now, no more moaning from me, my life could be a hell of alot worse. I should be grateful for what I've got. :)positivity is the only thing that's going to get me through it and maybe my family back...! :)
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Great attitude, SM. You CAN do this and we're all 100% behind you. It's not going to be easy as you know but nothing that's easy is worth having, or however the saying goes.. There's good things waiting for you - you just have to believe. And when you go through PAWS try to keep telling yourself it'll pass n that it's good because the brain's healing, you're getting better. Even though at the time it's the last thing you're gna feel.

Sending thoughts xxxx

Nice one, Kate xxxx

Evey
 
Ceres said:
The last few times I ordered mxe it was a shitty synth and I'm not even sure it was mxe,
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Not good, was it from a decent vendor? was thinking about ordering some, has been a long time since ive done any, thats kinda changed my mind a bit though
 
ColtDan said:
How much left is there to do? you'll sleep well tonight i bet... going without sleep for too long is rough

Nearly a bottle of 12.5% red wine gone, rarely drink wine, i feel more pissed off this than half a 70cl bottle of 37.5% vodka, think the years of drinking it have made me immune to it... somehow. not too sure on plans tonight yet, feeling as lazy as shite, last weekend was wicked, this weekend not so... yet
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Well, it was only last night I missed so not as bad as it could be. Got everything to pack still :P Leaving a lot here though because I'm coming back up in a couple of weeks to move stuff over to where I'll be living in September. Aside from that I've got to call coke dealer and just make sure everything is sorted here in terms of paperwork and stuff so not that much to do really but I'm feeling drained so it's all too much effort :P Should've saved a line to actually get things done today but hey, hindsight. I'm actually not drinking for once, after drinking 3 bottles of wine in the last 2 days I couldn't be arsed buying anymore haha, plus it'd just make me more tired. I'm the opposite, it takes so much wine to get me pissed because I drink it pretty much every day but the smallest amount of spirits destroys me. Wish I had more nights out to look forward to, yesterday was pretty good though apart from ending up halfway across Birmingham and having to get the first train of the day. 8)
 
It happened so many times over so many months starting last christmas I just gave up ordering the shit and left it alone, waste of money.
 
ColtDan said:
Not good, was it from a decent vendor? was thinking about ordering some, has been a long time since ive done any, thats kinda changed my mind a bit though
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Also have a read here man http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...y-of-a-major-methoxetamine-synthesis-impurity
I don't trust mxe, might get some in to have it analysed but the spectrography guys couldn't make much of my ketamine-like samples earlier so I'm not sure how much there's to gain from that.

On the bubble hash, pregabalin, and codeine tip here.
 
Ceres said:
It happened so many times over so many months starting last christmas I just gave up ordering the shit and left it alone, waste of money.
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Do you have a testing kit? I'm not sure if they have testing kits for MXE so I apologies if I'm incorrect here - but was told by someone, that you can get a testing kit to check the drug to make sure that it is what it says it is. I know that there are such things for MDMA but could you look into getting one of those for you to be safe when using?

Evey
 
I would have TLC'd the stuff but I didn't have the solvents or the space to do it. It was definately not mxe, that synthesis impurity is my bet....it didn't feel healthy anyway, smelled wrong, looked wrong, was just not the right thing. and not a tolerance issue as I gave NMDA antagonists a 6 month break between...fuck it. I feel a good deal better after hoovering that bk2cb.
 
Eveleivibe said:
Typical I express an opinion and get ripped apart over it. It is my OPINION please accept and stop trying to change it. I'm allowed to have an opinion just because I was on codeine and not bloody heroin. I do believe you should suffer it as I way of never going back there. MDB has a point with the relapse bit but he was not condescending in his comment to me. You all say addiction is addiction and I'm not going to be treated different because I was on codeine and not heroin but the moment I have any sort of opinion I'm quickly put into my place of "how I've never been on strong opiates so thus wouldn't know" I find it extremely patronising and offensive.

Do not try to belittle me spacejunk I found your post to be one of the most offensive posts I've read since joining BL how DARE you treat me like I've no clue what I am talking about. I have every clue as well as a Psychology degree where we were talking about neurotransmitters as well as a counselling diploma taught by one of the best psychotherapists in the country - who knows a thing or two about SSRIs. I AM VERY AWARE OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, thank you very much. Kindly don't speak to me again if you are going to talk to me in that manner I won't have it.

On the up side I've had a lovely day gardening, lawn mooring, de-weeding and watering the plants.

Urban how long do you go on sunbeds for per week? I don't care if I've increased my risk of skin cancer. We could all die tomorrow of a plague or whatever. I've spent most of my life being paranoid of things, no more! If I can get brown by going on sunbeds twice a week for 9 minutes I'm gna do!

Evey
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I'm sorry but Spacejunk was not ripping you to shreds, he was presenting his side of the discussion. Don't you think you overreacted ever so slightly?
 
Eveleivibe said:
Typical I express an opinion and get ripped apart over it. It is my OPINION please accept and stop trying to change it. I'm allowed to have an opinion just because I was on codeine and not bloody heroin. I do believe you should suffer it as I way of never going back there. MDB has a point with the relapse bit but he was not condescending in his comment to me. You all say addiction is addiction and I'm not going to be treated different because I was on codeine and not heroin but the moment I have any sort of opinion I'm quickly put into my place of "how I've never been on strong opiates so thus wouldn't know" I find it extremely patronising and offensive.

Do not try to belittle me spacejunk I found your post to be one of the most offensive posts I've read since joining BL how DARE you treat me like I've no clue what I am talking about. I have every clue as well as a Psychology degree where we were talking about neurotransmitters as well as a counselling diploma taught by one of the best psychotherapists in the country - who knows a thing or two about SSRIs. I AM VERY AWARE OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, thank you very much. Kindly don't speak to me again if you are going to talk to me in that manner I won't have it.

On the up side I've had a lovely day gardening, lawn mooring, de-weeding and watering the plants.

Urban how long do you go on sunbeds for per week? I don't care if I've increased my risk of skin cancer. We could all die tomorrow of a plague or whatever. I've spent most of my life being paranoid of things, no more! If I can get brown by going on sunbeds twice a week for 9 minutes I'm gna do!

Evey
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Is it that time again already?
 
If you're counting 4am this morning as today then cocaine, otherwise completely sober ;) Makes a change right! I will be trying a bump when I go buy some more coke later but not going to go crazyyyy because I need to get up and be human tomorrow. Today was a bit fuzzy, alright now but definitely overdid it last night and am looking forward to bed. I haven't got a garden here cos I'm in halls, have got one at my student house next year though (party house tbh :P) and at home of course so that'll be nice when I get back tomorrow. One nice thing anyway, can't think of many others :\
 
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