• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Vent/Rant Thread vs. Don't get in my way

Status
Not open for further replies.
Eveleivibe said:
Hiya Maya,

Sorry to hear of your debt. I hope you're able to sort it soon. Also sorry to hear that you're not happy at your work. Hope things improve for you soon.
Thinking of you,

Evey
Click to expand...

Thanks Evey, sometimes we just need to vent right :) I just need to control these feelings of frustration and anger and just do whatever I can to finish off my debt.

Xorkoth said:
Can you look for another job while you're still working at this one? People do that all the time. If you find one you like and it works out, you can quit and start the new one.
Click to expand...

I would love to leave but I am also considering the fact that if I left and two of my coworkers on maternity are still not back, it will look bad on my resume and references. I need a good reference from this job, and this is one of the reasons why I am holding on to this job.

Carl Landrover said:
You're ahead of me a bit. I'm about $4500 in debt. Had never been in debt before until I started shooting up daily. I also owe my mom a lot of money. If I include that I'm in debt at least 10k. I try not to think about that too much because it seems like a big hole to climb out of. I know it's going to take some time. It can be hard to be patient sometimes.

My car is also falling apart. It's 21 years old now and I added a ton of miles on it when I was using. I'd really like to travel more, but I have to be patient about that too. I think a change of scene would do me some good. Maybe some time later this summer I could go to NYC or something. Probably going to be a while until I could venture out further.
Click to expand...



My debt came from student loan unfortunately lol I am quite lucky to get a grant though but 6 grand is still a huge amount of money for me anyway. I will be extremely happy as soon as I am off debt and will try to never acquire debt.
 
Last edited:
herbavore said:
^evey, I tend to do what you are doing in that rant so don't take this as someone speaking down to you--just hard earned experience on my part that has really changed it for me and might for you. Instead of saying "no one likes me" try to bring it back down to fact: some people may not like you but that is true for you as well, right? There are always going to be people we resonate with and others not so much.

There is no "confirmation" about who you are based on what others say. Let your personality and your actions and your words define you. The only people you need to care about are those with whom you can be your authentic self. Creating all-encompassing statements about how no one understands or no one supports you drives away the people that actually do like and support you as they may feel completely invisible when you lump them into the "whole world" that you perceive to be against you! Learning to put things in perspective (it's a few people that perhaps made comments, not everyone) is where self acceptance can finally find fertile soil. Don't heap anger on yourself; tell yourself that you are learning how to not take things personally and that is something to be congratulated for!
Click to expand...

That was thoughtful and well-written. Good advice. A lot applies to how I've been thinking lately.

It's been 2 years since I was this clean. And it's been more than 2 years since I've been this clean this long. I'm still on sub (when I say clean here I'm referring to abstaining from an IV heroin habit). During that time I wasn't social at all and a lot of things in my life went downhill. I'm sort of in a shitty situation as a result of my drug abuse, so I've taken this 'myself vs. the world' type of mentality. I can just tell it's been making me more miserable and making me feel even more isolated. Definitely something I have to work on.
 
^Anger is healthy if it is a teacher that shows you something you need to see. When it becomes unhealthy is when you stay stuck in it or misplace the blame onto external things/people etc. Use that anger to move you forward and then it is healthy. ((<3))
 
---------------------------------------------------------this is so dumb srslywtfisthis why how do u expect me to do this ooooohwell
 
Last edited:
In did as a lyrical genius ones said ' anger is an energy'

Don't let it consume you though, that way he is still hurting you, I appreciate you this may not be the best time to point tit out but how fucked up must he be to behave like this, what kind of hell has he constructed for him self to live in.

That said in this digital age it's amassing how easy it can be to end up on endless mailing lists for al sorts of niche products, not that I would ever consider such action:D
 
Allein said:
In did as a lyrical genius ones said ' anger is an energy'

Don't let it consume you though, that way he is still hurting you, I appreciate you this may not be the best time to point tit out but how fucked up must he be to behave like this, what kind of hell has he constructed for him self to live in.

That said in this digital age it's amassing how easy it can be to end up on endless mailing lists for al sorts of niche products, not that I would ever consider such action:D
Click to expand...

eh??????

Evey
 
^^^

You may not have comprehended my ramblings, the above post having been edited, I'm not even sure or who it was aimed at now....but its great advice if I do say so myself.
 
Fuck.

Got pulled pver a few days ago, went to jail lost $500 and my vehicle. The next night i get pulled over again, get let go with a warning (thankfully), then today the house gets robbed while I am out.

Fuck.

I have court on monday too. Yippee.
 
IM SO MAD i didn't need any of this!!!! i didn't have anxiety!!!! i didn't have insomnia!!!! i didn't but now i do and its bad, why, this is so dumb, i'm so mad at the pill companies, why are these "short term" drugs on the market, honestly, who wants 2 weeks of not having anxiety??? and they make you worse after that?>??? so, they're safe for 2 weeks. who ACTUALLY believes that people with anxiety want a two-week cure???? no one it's all corporate bullshit lawyer talk that allowed this dangerous shit to be on the market, and it's such bullshit, my shrink said this was okay and this would help and make things better, why, this is GARBAGE
 
Okay, so after three years of time at my previous drug forum, I, and other IV users were banned for bullshit reasons like how I created an account fo rmy husnamd and in turn perma banned for something that silly. I call bullshit and I am in the process of reporting their admins for unjust and unfair scrutiny.

Such ignorance cost me money and time as I was just scorned and banned for petty shit. I can see all too well how they run their parade. No wonder many IV users were banned. Pitiful!
 
luggage said:
IM SO MAD i didn't need any of this!!!! i didn't have anxiety!!!! i didn't have insomnia!!!! i didn't but now i do and its bad, why, this is so dumb, i'm so mad at the pill companies, why are these "short term" drugs on the market, honestly, who wants 2 weeks of not having anxiety??? and they make you worse after that?>??? so, they're safe for 2 weeks. who ACTUALLY believes that people with anxiety want a two-week cure???? no one it's all corporate bullshit lawyer talk that allowed this dangerous shit to be on the market, and it's such bullshit, my shrink said this was okay and this would help and make things better, why, this is GARBAGE
Click to expand...

I feel you hun, I am very happy that I didn't take any of the SSRI's or any other medication suggested by the doctors to me when I had my MDMA coming off nasty symptoms. The other thing too is the dependency you will experience, since there is a possibility that you will get addicted to the pills which is going to be another problem you have to face.
 
I spend more time than I should thinking of ways to passive aggressively tell you that you're a spineless coward.


Your spirit animal is a jelly fish.
 
I didn't ask for this.
It was raining quite alot and hasn't changed a bit.
I got kicked out or something and im thinking I want to go someplace else.
Maybe another city.
I just need to get my tools back, and work and save a little cash.
At least court went well.
 
i am dealing with paranoid delusions in a real way that i have not before. the most infuriating fucking part is, of course, that i have reasons to actually believe (most of) the shit could be true. or would not otherwise be a big leap from the absurd reality that has been my life.

it got bad enough recently that i believed there were probably cameras watching me. hidden cameras. this is me, without having had any gud drugz in a long while. i mean, only fuckinfg weed and not even that often. so just purely my golden mind and our unsullied thoughts. (do not have my meds, but those are anxiety meds, so)

i had entertained the camera thought before. the thoughts go much more complex than that and of varying levels of believable/batshit. one small example is that i click on new users to this forum and assume they could very well be people from my ~iRLz~. that one is not so far fetched as, say, hidden cameras are watching me and every single tumblr account i followed was a troll account designed to subtly tell me things or laugh at me.

it escalated to scratching my arm up a bit with a steak knife. i thought "well, let them have to witness this and stomach this being entertaining" as i was doing it. it did help me to calm down. i was enraged for a full night and day before i finally brought up one piece of "evidence" i had that really sealed the deal for me. i said to my friend "you see, he's showing proof of a hidden camera!" i was talking about someones profile pic. someone i don't even really know but have messaged back and forth on a dating site. who had a profile pic of him pointing a laptop at a mirror. which my friend quickly pointed out. which makes much more sense than a joke picture about the hidden cameras not watching me.

some old guy once told me my klonopin was more of an anti-psychotic and i was inclined to disagree. being off of it half a year and this shit? okay, guy. okay, perhaps there's something to that after all.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top