• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Advice please..in a relationship for possible much longer

Dodd33

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 27, 2014
Messages
4
Location
United States
Long story here that I am going to try to keep as short as possible. I am a 31 year old guy coming up on 3 years together with my girlfriend. Almost the last year and a half I have slowly come to the realization that I am unhappy. I've thought a lot over the past year about ending it, for both our sakes, but I'm still in it at the moment. She's a great girl but I'm afraid the spark is just totally gone between us. We both dance around admitting that, but it's the truth and we both know it.

I have been in school the past two years, and have been crushing really hard on a girl in class. Never ever making my feelings known, because she has been in a relationship and, obviously so have I.

This past weekend was graduation and the whole class hits downtown. Flashforward to 2 in the morning, after admittedly way too much to drink we go from exchanging long glances, to holding hands, to feeling each other under the table, to sticking around until all of classmates have left and making out for well over an hour. Over the course of this time I find out she has left her boyfriend a month ago. She knows I have a girlfriend and keeps saying how what we're doing is wrong and we should stop and then turning around and grabbing my dick while pulling me in for another kiss. After the bar I attempt to walk her home, which turns into us stopping every 2 feet and making out hard. She keeps telling me through all of this how "it's obvious I have liked you all year long/I can't believe you didn't know" lots of stuff like that. All told we spend over 2 hours kissing, dry humping, talking dirty, she's asking me to take her back to her place but I am starting to sober up and realizing that I need to be home to my own GF before the sun comes up.

The next day I wake up frankly not feeling as terrible as I thought I was going to. I've never cheated on my GF but because of our deteriorating situation, and because this girl is just so goddamn awesome I'm feeling like I might finally be working up the courage to end it. Anyways she texts me saying she is "so sorry" and how she "feels terrible" as her last bf cheated on her and she knows how it feels. She does say she "really liked me" in the message, but makes an effort to blame the alcohol for what happened. Which is fine, I understand. She is a 100% classy, respectable girl who is probably not used to making out with other guys boyfriends. I'm sure she legitimately does feel terrible on some level.

My question to you guys is how much of what happened between us was actually the booze talking? Like I realize we've all done and said things while drunk that we wouldn't normally do, but doesn't the fact that it went on for SO LONG kinda cancel that out? Hehe, maybe just wishful thinking on my part I don't know.

I do think I am going to leave my GF but I guess I would just like to know if myself and this girl may have a future. I don't want to ask her that as I'm afraid it would freak her out. Did she really like me all year long or was this just a thing a wasted girl did for fun?
 
She kept saying to me the night before "we should stop..because you love your girlfriend, right?" looking at me waiting for me to answer. And I'd sheepishly say "yeah" and we'd keep making out. This literally happened like over 10 times hahaha. I'm trying to decipher girl code but I'm trying to think why she kept asking me that. Any help would be fantastic.
 
Okay, think of it as two separate issues.

1. You and your girlfriend don't have a great relationship. Things aren't working out. In any situation, what should you do? Break up. It's for the best, for both of you. I would probably NOT tell her it's because of someone else. It's because of the original reason, you two just don't have that spark anymore and you can't seem to make it work. Break ups are hard, even if you know it's the best thing to do. I went through the same thing when my ex and I (three years) broke up. He's not a bad guy. He's great. But we weren't right for each other.

2. Presuming you break up with your girlfriend, you are now single. What do you do then? Casually date this girl? It can't hurt. And is there a future? Who knows, you've JUST started seeing each other. Maybe you'll end up with her. Maybe you won't. Either way is fine though. It's not like you'll never find anyone else ever. It's just an experience.
 
You know all the answers to your questions. Of course this other girl is interested in trying something out with you. The future, no one knows. Your girlfriend, you are just dragging your feet to end the relationship. You said it yourself. Hey give it a go if that's what you wish, i wish you a good run!
 
She kept saying to me the night before "we should stop..because you love your girlfriend, right?" looking at me waiting for me to answer. And I'd sheepishly say "yeah" and we'd keep making out. This literally happened like over 10 times hahaha. I'm trying to decipher girl code but I'm trying to think why she kept asking me that. Any help would be fantastic.

This is actually really funny. You do realize that's not what she wanted to hear, right? If you don't then it's even better. Did you not realize at that time that that's not the answer she was looking for?
 
This is actually really funny. You do realize that's not what she wanted to hear, right? If you don't then it's even better. Did you not realize at that time that that's not the answer she was looking for?

Hahah. Well, I remember being confused how to answer. I was drunk remember. But why whenever I answered "Yes" did she keep kissing me? This is what was and is throwing me for a loop.

[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, lucida grande, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]The next day via text I told her I felt a little guilty but didn't regret it as I had a crush on her all year and she said she "liked me too" (past tense is till throwing me on that one) I was trying to subtly indicate that I'd like to hang out again, not necessarily to set up a date as I don't want it to be an ongoing affair thing, just to gauge whether she'd be interested down the road in hanging out like when I've ended it with my gf.[/FONT]

And she basically says "we should all go out(as a class again) for drinks some afternoon but no late night shooter bars or tequila allowed"..I know this means something but goddamnit if I can't figure out what haha. Perhaps I'm overthinking all of this stuff.
 
Top