I've gone back and forth for years over whether I think of addiction as being an illness or disease of some sort or more of a purely behavioural issue, I think I'm probably leaning more toward the former if only for lack of anything more appropriate to categorise it as. It's certainly not as simple as being an option some people choose to take then plead 'but I've got a disease' to minimise. Given the way addictions tend to tear up lives in the most unpleasant ways imaginable it just doesn't make any sense that way - nobody would choose to live the life of serious addiction. But if a disease then what is the cause? It's unlikely to be a nasty lil bug that can be cleared up with a course of anti-bios - although it can be oddly contagious in some situations, I've certainly see people "catch it" from spending too much time around addicts, but I'm pretty sure there would be much the same going on for them beneath the surface as there is for anybody else who becomes an addict. I suspect there is a genetic component as I'm sure we all know families who are riddled with addictions over generations, but I don't think it's purely a genetic thing by any means. I'd go with it being a combination of genetic predisposition combining with social and environmental factors as being the set-up that breeds addictions best. I'd also suspect that will only be the situation most likely to produce addictions but by no means the only way a person could become addicted.
One factor that interests me that I've not seen mentioned yet is the oft-suggested "addictive personality". Another of those rather controversial theories surrounding addiction which I've to'd and fro'd over for years. Again, I think I'm mostly at the toing end currently. Some people really do seem to have a strong tendency towards addiction to just about anything it's possible to become addicted to. Whilst there are people who have a particular issue with, say, heroin but will never develop similar issues with alcohol, there are also people who will develop issues with virtually anything they can lay hands on and tend to switch back and forth from addiction to addiction - often juggling several concurrently. Addicted to addiction, as it were. I'd put myself in the latter category simply going by experience and evidence - that is exactly what has been the case for me for as long as I can remember. Even before substances being in the picture I can recognise in hindsight very similar patterns of behaviour in regards to other things in life. A tendency towards repetitive, self-destructive actions with very obsessive tendencies. Looking back I can see clear similarities when looking at various things I got up to in childhood - stuff everybody would do but I seemed to do in rather different ways and tended to take a lot further than anybody I knew. Thinking about it, they would all be things with relatively significant risk factors with instant reward provided upon completing the behaviour which can be repeated as often as desired. For me, shoplifting would've been one - most kids go through a bit of a phase but I seemed to take it a helluva lot further than anybody I knew and, although the 'stuff' was nice cos I didn't have much 'stuff' as a child, it was far more about the buzz. Oddly enough reading would be another that leaps to mind, largely (probably entirely) down to very specific circumstances (reading in bed was utterly forbidden in my childhood and punishable by quite a beating, I have always loved to read and the addition of fairly significant risk factors involved in a pleasurable activity turned it into something other than 'normal' - I would go to extraordinary lengths to read anything whether I had any real interest in reading the particular thing or not, once again it was the risk/reward thing - presumably somewhat similar to the dopaminergic effects of true addictions). I'm not saying I was actually addicted to these - or other (computer games are another that leap to mind in my childhood case) - behaviours, but I do suspect there is an underlying connection tied up with basic neurochemistry stuff with those pesky environmental issues on the side.
I'll stop rambling for a bit - is a subject of some significant interest to me - and leave it for now by wishing you well with any treatment you seek, SM - I can say from experience that a good drug counsellor (or similar role depending on specific circumstance) is worth their weight in gold. A bad one can put you off seeking treatment for life so don't give up if lumbered with a moron first time out cos there are plenty pisspoor counsellors out there, but also plenty brilliant ones. It's well worth making the effort (when in position to actually exercise any real choice, which can vary a bit but should be broadly possible in our whizzy communications technologies age) to find somebody you really click with and can work together with. The issues surrounding addiction tend to be rather personal and often difficult to discuss so it makes an enormous difference who it is you are working with. The more comfortable you are the more honest you can be and the more chance you have of making good progress.
Good luck with any treatment sought and with g/f and family issues - it's hard on partners and close relationships in general too. There are actually services to support those around an addict too if it seems at all appropriate to you. I can't actually think of any off the top of my head but there are a fair few out there and should be easy enough to find out what's available to you locally. Do feel free to drop me a PM if you like - addiction is a thing I'm very familiar with and, although I have no magic remedies any more than anybody else does, I do have a fair bit of experience and is often good to compare notes with people in similar situation.
Another thing about addiction is that addiction, itself, is addictive. We can get used to nearly any sort of miserable life. Whatever mind set we are most used to is probably the one we will feel most comfortable with. E.g. even if "your" life had always been a living hell when an opportunity comes along where there is the option to choose for a better life then one might not necessarily make that choice because we like what is familiar. Better the devil you know n all that.
This is an odd thing but also a true thing. It's amazing what a person can adapt to to the point it becomes completely normal and even - in a very strange way - desirable. I do think it's the familiarity thing more than a genuine fondness for living in shit though. Fear of change is a very common thing and it works the same even when you are pretty damn sure the change is gonna be for the better.
Addiction inb my eyes and true addiction that is, is being hooked a on a substance you need to take daily in order to feel 'normal' and without it you have will suffer w/d symoptons.
I think that's a rather too narrow definition myself. Yes there is an added component to truly physical addictions (the type your body lets you know all about when trying to quit) but there are other addictions which don't necessarily come with a traditional w/d syndrome that still produce the same changes in brain chemistry that defines an addiction. I think I'd just go with defining addiction as a behaviour you feel you simply cannot stop - despite numerous genuine attempts to stop - where that behaviour is causing you problems in the rest of your life. Without the accompanying spin-off associated life problems I'd define it more as a dependency perhaps. Like you can be physically dependent on, say, antidepressants but you wouldn't really think of it as an addiction - you just have to take them every day to not feel terrible and go into withdrawal.
I dunno Si - getting addicted to a drug, even theoretically "addictive" drugs like heroin, doesn't happen overnight. It needs a grim determination to keep taking the drug every day for weeks if not months on end. I don't think everyone has that kind of dedication.
There is certainly some truth to this - you really don't get addicted to any drug without some pretty prolonged use and it's kinda hard for anybody to claim they didn't know there would be a risk of addiction. I think a lot of people underestimate what addiction is and overestimate their own abilities to shake it off in the early stages before it really beds in - it's probably the thing that I've seen catch most people out more than anything else. I think there are other things that need to be taken into account too though. I've always been very big on pointing out environmental and/or social changes being a major factor that most people overlook and many people will be caught out by. My own situation is an obvious example but I'm pretty sure you'll find plenty other addicts who got nobbled in similar fashion. A person can use an addictive substance - any addictive substance - for years without ever developing an addiction if they are extremely cautious about taking breaks. Like you drinking your glass of wine everyday but not drinking a bottle of wine everyday (I'm pretty sure your "I can't get addicted to anything" stance would change if you tried that for any significant period of time). Life is unstable and can really pull the rug out from under sometimes though and it's that that makes the tipping point. Caught off-guard and maybe at an acutely low point physically, emotionally, psychologically, any or all of the afore, it's incredibly easy for your perceptions of whatever addictive substance you've used successfully without ever seeing the underlying teeth of. Instead of pure recreation or euphoria or whatever the prior reasons for use were it's very easy to start using more for escapism or comfort or support. Or likely a combination of things cos most addictive drugs are kinda seductive on many levels by nature. When a person's life changes suddenly, unexpectedly and dramatically for the worse - and they have access to and history with addictive substances - the chances of their patterns of use to slide over to the addictive side of the spectrum multiply exponentially (imo, ime, ymm(bpw)v, etc, etc).
Puts my problems into perspective though.
