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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CLXI: The Numerals are Probably Wrong, The Words Within Most Certainly Are

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Albion said:
I thought I might come back.

My sobriety is failing. Narcotics Anonymous has done nothing for me except make me rebel out against religion and people who think they need it to keep sober. I'm craving MDPV more than ever and the one place I thought would be a safe haven turned out to be a Christianity recruitment club. I'm a raised Catholic, but I'd rather be a drug addict than a born-again Christian.

Hello EADD.
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Awh alby I'm so very glad to see you back here tho sorry about your probs. You know you can talk to me anytime, don't you?!

You're right there about people smoking in meetings.

Evey xxxx
 
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Albion said:
There might be, but I bet they aren't a two minute walk from my house, unlike NA.
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Ah yeah, shame, that would have been convenient. Still worth checking to see what there is slightly less locally though? :/ (And yeah.. I know if I ever needed help with addictions, I wouldn't last 5 minutes with anything Christianity-related.)
 
What defines someone who needs help with addiction?

Someone who has drugs adversely affect their life? Do drugs adversely affect your life?

Or someone who simply wants drugs out of their life? What if drugs adversely affect someone's life, and they don't want that to change? Do they need the most help, or the least?

I don't know which category I fall into right now. I kinda feel like I'm owned by drugs, and I'm willing in that relationship. Perhaps they will kill me. Perhaps I was put on this planet to get high (and procrastinate ;)).
 
Albion said:
What defines someone who needs help with addiction?

Someone who has drugs adversely affect their life? Do drugs adversely affect your life?

Or someone who simply wants drugs out of their life? What if drugs adversely affect someone's life, and they don't want that to change? Do they need the most help, or the least?

I don't know which category I fall into right now. I kinda feel like I'm owned by drugs, and I'm willing in that relationship. Perhaps they will kill me. Perhaps I was put on this planet to get high (and procrastinate ;)).
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I think Shambles might be the guy with the really good response to those questions.. ;)

If it were me, though, I'd be tackling the particular substances that are adversely affecting my life, and not "drugs" as a whole.
 
Albion said:
What defines someone who needs help with addiction?

Someone who has drugs adversely affect their life? Do drugs adversely affect your life?

Or someone who simply wants drugs out of their life? What if drugs adversely affect someone's life, and they don't want that to change? Do they need the most help, or the least?

I don't know which category I fall into right now. I kinda feel like I'm owned by drugs, and I'm willing in that relationship. Perhaps they will kill me. Perhaps I was put on this planet to get high (and procrastinate ;)).
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If you think they are a problem n wish to stop then you get help but if you don't then you don't get help I suppose. But it's not always so black n white because some people in addiction are in the denial stage.....
 
swampdragon said:
If it were me, though, I'd be tackling the particular substances that are adversely affecting my life, and not "drugs" as a whole.
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That is one of the issues I have with NA. I'm trying to tackle an issue with MDPV, but they demand total sobriety from all substances. I quizzed them on this, and they said that if it wasn't MDPV, it would be something else.

I say no; MDPV is a beast, and not one that many who go to NA have experienced. I have had issues with drugs in the past, but none of which have been of the severity or depth of my relationship with this one all-consuming RC.

I don't want to give up pints at pubs, tokes on spliffs my mates pass around, the odd gram of ket, the odd bit of coke. These things are more fun than they are a hindrance. While I find MDPV more fun than all of these other drugs combined, it is a huge hindrance in the long term, as anyone who's had issues with the drug in the past will know. One of the main reasons for leaving EADD was to stay out of the MDPV thread. I think I still will, but it'll still be there on the front page, looking at me. Not that anything gets written in there these days other than tales of misery and mental illness.

Eveleivibe said:
If you think they are a problem n wish to stop then you get help but if you don't then you don't get help I suppose. But it's not always so black n white because some people in addiction are in the denial stage.....
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True true. I don't think I'm in denial though; I know where I stand, in many ways more than ever. Do you think wilful addiction is in itself an act of denial? A denial to do right by yourself?
 
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Albion cant you ask a mod to restrict access to that thread for you? Maybe that can be done I don't know.

Find other meetings - NA may not be for you. I go to a local recovery meeting n they don't expect abstinence from everything.

May just be a case of looking around. And getting a focus - like your art n music xxxx
 
Heh, yeah.. I was tempted by PV until I read that thread and it did a good job of putting me off. If you've already decided you want to give it up then stick with it.. quitting NA doesn't mean you have to get straight back on it. You'll get support here as people know what the stuff's like, anyway.
 
It doesn't, but I'm feeling the pull.

If I had the money and the access (I scrambled my password to that website), I would have relapsed already. I feel it is only a matter of time though, unless there's a paradigm shift in my mental state before I get more cash in.

Evey - Do you know a way I can find 'local recovery meetings'? The art and music do provide focus from time to time, but sad as it sounds, my want for this drug is stronger than my want to succeed in life.
 
Albion said:
That is one of the issues I have with NA. I'm trying to tackle an issue with MDPV, but they demand total sobriety from all substances. I quizzed them on this, and they said that if it wasn't MDPV, it would be something else.

I say no; MDPV is a beast, and not one that many who go to NA have experienced. I have had issues with drugs in the past, but none of which have been of the severity or depth of my relationship with this one all-consuming RC.

I don't want to give up pints at pubs, tokes on spliffs my mates pass around, the odd gram of ket, the odd bit of coke. These things are more fun than they are a hindrance. While I find MDPV more fun than all of these other drugs combined, it is a huge hindrance in the long term, as anyone who's had issues with the drug in the past will know. One of the main reasons for leaving EADD was to stay out of the MDPV thread. I think I still will, but it'll still be there on the front page, looking at me. Not that anything gets written in there these days other than tales of misery and mental illness.



True true. I don't think I'm in denial though; I know where I stand, in many ways more than ever. Do you think wilful addiction is in itself an act of denial? A denial to do right by yourself?
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No i don't think you're in denial xxxx
 
Hey Albion, I didn't know u had this hard trouble with PV like a lot of us others do, infact I thought u could "control" it.

Very sorry to hear it have have taken ya into the madness I know all to well myself.
 
Hi Albion. Good to see you. Shame it isn't under better circumstances.

I've been where you are now. I thought I'd never get off the stuff. I could go some time without it but I'd always return to it sooner or later. I took some really stupid shit to happen. I've said this so many times but it's true - waking up in hospital or a police cell is no way to live a life. It took that happening repeatably till the message sunk in though. I burnt so many bridges with friends and family some folk with never speak to me again and I can't blame them after what I did. How I'm still married is a mystery but we did split for a year and our relationship will never be the same as it was. I hope you don't have to go to these places before you realise it needs to stop for good mate. It's been a fucking nightmare that lost me job due to ill mental health for two years. The really fucked thing? I still fucking crave the shite. 18 months after my last dose. Sorry not what you want to hear but that's my experience with it.

I went to NA for a time. I never brought into the 12 steps bollocks but at a time when everyone turned their back on me I had a few understanding people and a hug. It helped me at the time just tobe round people who knew what is was like to be controlled by drugs and who would listen and not judge.

I wish you all the best mate, it's a fucker is PV.

<3
 
Can anybody 'control' MDPV? If they can, it's surely for a limited time only.

Herby told me that MDPV 'owned' her son. He said it was the only drug he felt 'owned' by. I know exactly what he was talking about. I'm sure you do too. It's not even the most fun drug, really, but it's the most dominant.

Ahh Ben, it's good to see you. I feel bad going back to NA now because, although I haven't used MDPV since the first meeting, I haven't been sober either. In fact I've been less sober than ever, just with different substances (mainly alcohol). I can't help but get the feeling I won't be accepted until I go tea-total.

I hope I don't have to go to the places you've been. I don't really know how I could wind up in a police cell (unless I'm very unlucky and get caught in the act of extreme sexual deviance on PV, which tbh could happen). I don't have a wife, and I don't have a girlfriend. I doubt I'll ever get a girlfriend if MDPV is a defining factor of my life though, so the circumstances are slightly different, but they're still shit.
 
I used all the time while I was at NA. I was honest about it too. They never judged me or made me feel like shit like friends and family would. They were understanding actually. I kept going to get away from the shame and guilt I felt. For a couple of hours I could be around people who undrstood. It made a difference despite not adhering to the 12 step stuff.

I know what you mean about controlling it. At the beginning it was an amazing joyride. Best drug ever. Slowly that changed leaving only negative. Thing was I only ever remembered the good bits never the wreckage slewn around my feet.

Later on in my use I would start to get blackouts. I think Shambles said he got them too on long runs. Fuck knows what you get up to in those situations. I'm too ashamed to admit to what got me in the cell.
 
Albion said:
This MDPV shit is making me feel sick and weird - ColtDan 2k15
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Good evening stranger:) I would tell you to lay off the stims but since I'm incapable of taking my own advice at present Ill not bother
 
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