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Gibberings CLX: Gibberings Unplugged

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Shambles said:
Why thank you, sirrah. Although being somewhat enforced it's not like I had huge opportunity for alternate approaches. Actually I could've taken a bit longer on the taper but that would mean having none left for recreational purposes at future times. Quite glad I didn't leave it til the very last possible point cos I'm pretty sure it'd've turned into the nightmare taper from hell if I had :!

Got next to bugger all sleep last night but not feeling too bad today. Mostly just a bit wooden (or indeed leaden) of limb but aches and pains are considerably less than yesterday. Sneezing fits started last night but only had one or two so far today. Not had to dive for the remaining lope either which is definitely a bonus.

Also, laaaaaarvely day out. Not that I really feel like doing owt but nice to know that if I suddenly did it'd be rather pleasant.
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sorry you mentioned somewhere having had your script stopped n I asked did they at least taper you? I can't remember what thread it was so sorry for being ignorant in asking again I'm a bit tired to look all round the place lol.
 
Can't remember what thread it was in either actually. But the answer would be the same... No, "they" didn't taper me but I was fortunate enough to have a few put by so had enough to taper myself. Albeit a rather savage tapering schedule. Got a few left for recreational purposes at some future date too handily enough, which is really rather impressive considering. Could not imagine me saving "spare" opioids a few years back. Especially not whilst withdrawing. Go me, etc.

Actually feeling worse tonight. Evenings always do seem to bring it out in me for some reason. Been having hot and cold flushes all day but at least not been too achey or sneezy. Pretty bleary-eyed though. Also got frikkin brutal brainzaps from overdoing the 6-APDB t'other day(s). Bad enough that my head is actually jerking quite considerably with the bigger ones. Not so great. Should be fairly temporary though.
 
Over 95% say give Crimea back to the Russians. That's democracy kids.

Stalin wasn't stallin'...
 
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That's not quite democracy given the lack of electoral role (or is it roll? surely the latter although that does sound like a particularly unappealing sandwich). Hardly the shock result of the century given virtually everybody aside from the Russians boycotted it. Wonder what "The West" is gonna do now? Supposed to be supporting Ukraine but the chances of having a pop at Russia are pretty much nil (thankfully). Bit of a tricky position to get themselves into really ("The West," I mean - making promises they really should've known they couldn't keep if it came down to it).
 
Well it complies with international law coz Mr Stalin Putin has just said so to Obamarama.

Footnote. 95.5% of Crimea is Russian.
 
Shambles said:
Can't remember what thread it was in either actually. But the answer would be the same... No, "they" didn't taper me but I was fortunate enough to have a few put by so had enough to taper myself. Albeit a rather savage tapering schedule. Got a few left for recreational purposes at some future date too handily enough, which is really rather impressive considering. Could not imagine me saving "spare" opioids a few years back. Especially not whilst withdrawing. Go me, etc.

Actually feeling worse tonight. Evenings always do seem to bring it out in me for some reason. Been having hot and cold flushes all day but at least not been too achey or sneezy. Pretty bleary-eyed though. Also got frikkin brutal brainzaps from overdoing the 6-APDB t'other day(s). Bad enough that my head is actually jerking quite considerably with the bigger ones. Not so great. Should be fairly temporary though.
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That's disgraceful. They can't treat you like that. What were you on a day?
I'm on 12 mg a day.
 
StoneHappyMonday said:
Well it complies with international law coz Mr Stalin Putin has just said so to Obamarama.

Footnote. 95.5% of Crimea is Russian.
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So presumably 0.5% of Crimean Russians couldn't find the polling booths.

Eveleivibe said:
That's disgraceful. They can't treat you like that. What were you on a day?
I'm on 12 mg a day.
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I was on 12mg a day and of course they can. They're not obliged to give anybody a script. Was me that fukked up and broke the rules of the agreement. Is a shitty thing being cut off with nothing but I can't rightly complain about it. As long as you do everything that's asked of you your script is safe (until they decide it's time to come off it). If you don't meet all the requirements you get cut off dead.
 
slight subject change but if I feel, that in my recovery group I'm not wanted should I say something or just leave? I hate conflict n felt this way a month or so back, left for 3 weeks and one of the members convinced me to go back but nothing's changed. When I attend they've often met up for coffee in the week n I'm sitting there thinking, where's my invite, I asked if I could volunteer at the drop-in (basically giving breakfast and tea for people still on drugs or maybe homeless). The one who runs the volunteering agreed n filled in the forms with me but the day I turned up, he said there wasn't any spaces for volunteers, that I could help out this once but couldn't in future n got me some volunteering in the magistrates café. Maybe it's because I'm partially sighted or maybe it's because I'm not wanted n he just agreed at first, thinking that I wouldn't really come?

When I did the volunteering I felt valued for the first time in a long time. I was doing something for other people. My existence was worth something and I felt worthwhile (like today when I did a bit in the garden).

My key worker is trying to say it's because these people may have known each other when they were doing drugs n that because I was addicted to codeine it was all different???? Am I not wanted because I wasn't on heroin or alcohol, just codeine n that's why I never get invited???? It can't be that because a newcomer started who recently gave up alcohol n they have offered her to the drop-in for a bacon butty and a cuppa tea. I've not been invited to the drop-in. Never. So that confirmed my suspicions.

I just don't belong or fit in anywhere - no matter how hard I try. And I did try at this group. I even laughed when people made jokes about my tattoos n stuff n usually I'm really hyper-sensitive over that kind of stuff but I really made an effort, laughed at myself and joined in with any banter.

I don't know how to say how I feel because I hate conflict so my way of dealing with it would be crying or walking off. I find conflict really stressful but last time I left I felt even know resentful.

I was an original member of this group n when it started they respected my feelings like if I said I couldn't do something because I had to pick up my child or whatever well they'd try and include me which was touching because no one has ever done that for me before. it's always been "well if you can't come tough!" and now it's changed and it is "well if you can't come tough."

What is the point in going to a recovery group where I'm going to be on the outside looking in? And of no real value to others where I can make a difference somehow???? I may as well go back to sitting indoor day after day, watching all my "friends" having fun and being on the outside.

Should I just quit????
 
Shambles said:
So presumably 0.5% of Crimean Russians couldn't find the polling booths.



I was on 12mg a day and of course they can. They're not obliged to give anybody a script. Was me that fukked up and broke the rules of the agreement. Is a shitty thing being cut off with nothing but I can't rightly complain about it. As long as you do everything that's asked of you your script is safe (until they decide it's time to come off it). If you don't meet all the requirements you get cut off dead.
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You had an agreement???? I basically get my prescription and f*** off again.
 
An agreement is standard practice. You agree it when you very first go in for a script. In my case it was no other opies, no benzos, and daily (initially supervised) pickup. And clean piss tests and regular meetings with drug counsellor. And not missing too many pickups. It was the latter bit that I tripped up on :\

As for you quitting your recovery group, only you can decide that. I've never heard of such a thing so got no idea how they work really. I can't see why you'd be excluded cos your drug history is essentially codeine and Subutex. I do know that addicts who all live in the same area tend to all know each other which obviously helps with group stuffs. Then again, just cos you know somebody from addictworld doesn't mean you get on with 'em so it shouldn't make all that much difference.

Maybe try to think about what you get from it - pros and cons. If, overall, you benefit from it despite the downsides then stick with it - you never know who might join up and maybe you'll get on with them better. If it really is just bringing you down then leave it. They're not compulsory by any means. I don't really know anybody that's ever attended a thing like that and I doubt I'd enjoy going to such a thing. There is something to be said for having the support of people around you who (broadly) share similar experience to yourself, but that kinda set-up can also drag you down and keep you locked into addict mentality. It really does depend on what you feel you get from it, and only you can really know that and make decisions based upon that experience.

That aside, a minor moan about bastard toothache. It hurts :!

Said it was a minor moan but worth it, I feel. Currently swilling Colgate Sensitive around after several large dabs on the appropriate area which seems to be doing the trick. It's getting to sleep that's the concern. So far, everything I try lasts all of about 20mins once I stop applying whatever it is. I really don't fancy being kept up all night with toothache. Not when I have reasonably large amounts of strong opiates in the house I'm trying not to take anyway. Actually, no anyway about it. Just don't think horrible pain and luvverly, luvverly painkillers (that I can't take :!) are a good combo. Humbug. Best make dentist appointment tomorrow. Think I'm due a checkup anyway.
 
I wasn't giving an agreement. I had to have a urine test which was dead ace because codeine comes up as morphine so yea that's what it came up with. I see my key worker fortnightly, well every four weeks now n I basically moan about whatever get my script and go. When I used to have codeine onto or alcohol I just honestly told them because I was only on 8 mg suboxone n it wasn't enough for me. I was feeling empty n craving like hell so almost became an alcoholic (of course I wasn't because I only drank at night) but I'd have black and some times I'd come downstairs and see some food in the over like a piece of charcoal. Good job my oven has an automatic shut off safety thing on it and a load of posts all over forums and text sent to people and what not. Not something I was proud of but that's what happens when they don't give me enough suboxone n I'm craving major. I'd basically drink, get some nurofin plus or whatever and take the lot at once as well as antidepressants. Then black out n wake up the next day longing for the evening to do it all over again.

Not proud of all that but I was in complete self destruct mode. It was like it was exciting to risk harming myself. I just hope I don't go back to that. Not to sound racist but I really don't understand why a lot of Americans seem to think 12mg suboxone is strong. They say that lasts them weeks n when I tell them that I was on 8 mg n it wasn't enough they don't believe me but it's true and I don't want to go back to being that person n taking all those risks again. I turned into someone I didn't even recognise anymore.

I hope your toothache gets better soon that aint good xxxx
 
Eve if you stick around this place long enough you'll get addicted. How has your day been? Why up so late. I should be in bed I have work at 9.
 
Nice to meet you Evey. Wish I knew how to pronounce your username.

I've had a long break from here but I'm dipping my toes back in again to see what like. I'm married to Kate, by the way. What's up with you and do you have pink hair in real life? :)
 
felix said:
Nice to meet you Evey. Wish I knew how to pronounce your username.

I've had a long break from here but I'm dipping my toes back in again to see what like. I'm married to Kate, by the way. What's up with you and do you have pink hair in real life? :)
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hahahahaha Good God know. I've died it pink n purple. I've had it pink for around a year now lol. it's pronounced eeeve leeee vibe lol Just call me Evey.

Is your name after the cat?
 
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