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I Just Need To Post Vs. Lend me your eyes and ears, your wisdom and beauty.

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ad lib said:
Yes yes yes!! Chocolate everywhere :D
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Whats your fave chocolate addy? I have to make sure it's ready when you get here =D

Who else is watching the Oscars tonight? Any bets who the winners will be?
 
watched dallas buyers club last night and MM put up a pretty solid performance for male lead.

I also saw there was a man and wife. 77 and 84 who are both up for their first oscars thought that was pretty neat.

Combo meatball/Hot Italian sausage hoagies with a large garden salad on deck for dinner, its sunday so the diets off till tomorrow.
 
^ yeah I want mm to win tonight and jared leto too. Have you seen blue jasmine? I think this is another oscar win for blanchett
 
Evey, havn't seen you around and missed you! <3

Godiva chocolate for the win! My photobucket not working. :(

godivachocolatecheesecake.jpg
 
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GODIVA-CHOCOLATES.jpg


Did you say Godiva TC here it is!

yep Evey Addy will visit me around summer time and im quite excited :D
 
It dawned on me today how much I want to be clean.
this thought is nothing new as it dawned when I felt the clutch of opiates take hold but today I really thought about it, I talked with my loved ones and put forth the goals to live the life I have dreamed of that is really actually quiet possible when im not paying to get well.

I have so much to live for and so much ive been running from.

Think its about time I face the music.
 
TheRapperGoneBad said:
It dawned on me today how much I want to be clean.
this thought is nothing new as it dawned when I felt the clutch of opiates take hold but today I really thought about it, I talked with my loved ones and put forth the goals to live the life I have dreamed of that is really actually quiet possible when im not paying to get well.

I have so much to live for and so much ive been running from.

Think its about time I face the music.
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I wish I had your strength. Several times I've tried being clean, only to fall back in to old habits of smoking pot and eventually doing other things (Usually pills or opiates, though the past year or two it's mostly opiates, heroin and various RC's). I live a dead end life, working a dead end job. Constantly feel like invisible walls are closing in on me, stressed out, alone, broke. Every time I stop the drugs, I go insane and panic. When I use, I'm a roller coaster of an emotional mess.

I dream of living a life dedicated to health and a life of being clean. I want to be a positive person, for myself but most of all for those around me. My reality is far from what I dream. Instead I'm a negative mess, more and more ridding my life of the only good things I have left, the few people I love.

How do you plan on going forth with your ideas? I'd love to know, simply to digest and maybe take in and put forth in my own life some how.
 
TheRapperGoneBad said:
It dawned on me today how much I want to be clean.
this thought is nothing new as it dawned when I felt the clutch of opiates take hold but today I really thought about it, I talked with my loved ones and put forth the goals to live the life I have dreamed of that is really actually quiet possible when im not paying to get well.

I have so much to live for and so much ive been running from.

Think its about time I face the music.
Click to expand...

You can do this rapper:D
 
Sooo I spoke with my future landlord yesterday and apparently he had an issue moving out on time, something to do with the gas & electric company not approving something with his new house yet - The house I'm renting is the house he's moving out of, so I'm looking at 3 weeks of floating around with no place of my own, at minimum.

Strangely I'm not too worried about it though. I'll figure shit out, I doubt I'll have to sleep in my car for any of it. And even if I don't figure it out, it will be an adventure and a real reminder of where I will be permanently if I relapse.

_________

Edit - I just realized I only have one more full day with my own place until I have 3+ weeks basically homeless (hopefully will be able to couch surf my way through it...) And I'm starting to stress about it quite a bit more then I was when I first made this post. I'm actually REALLY not fucking looking forward to this, especially while trying to maintain school and shit.

On top of that I lost my ring today, was a Buddhist ring with "Om Mani Padme Hum" written around it (in sanskrit) that I bought when I was with my ex and haven't taken it off in 6+ months. Losing it brought back up a ton of memories and feelings, and I'm actually really fucking upset about it.. Way more then I should be. I'm way too sentimental for my own good. :(
 
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