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- Thread starter Shambles
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stoopidlies
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2013
- Messages
- 230
Never had the urge to sniff vallies, it's a waste no?
Knock's final words to me
I loved you knock. I still do. I miss you so much already. I know you wouldn't have wanted me to resign, but it's the only way I can get away from the pain I feel in EADD now. It's all just bickering, arguing, biting at Sammy's heels, and all for what? Harm reduction?? EADD is not healthy, its community is toxic, and I need to get away from it all and sort my own life out which has come down around me over the last month. EADD can be fixed, and knock, you were the guy to fix it. Without you I really wouldn't know what to do, other than simply act as sponge for other peoples' embitterment and frustration.
I can't keep on keeping on, and I'm really sorry knock, but I hope you understand and can forgive me for buckling
I hope I haven't let you down; I hope you can understand.
I will never forget that first PM you sent to me, when I was down in the dumps with my MXE addiction, about how I reminded you of your nephew and felt something of a maternal instinct to look after me and make sure I was alright. It was the first time anyone had expressed any form of compassion towards me and the issues I was facing at the time. You were there for me at a time when I needed you, and it has been an honor to work with you this past year because I knew I was working with the man who cared about me and understood me, sometimes I think better than I understand myself. It breaks my heart to know you've gone.
Not buckling my friend
- I know everyone in here would much rather you step down and vanish from the site and be safe in your real life,So stop talking ?
From you ?
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Knock's final words to me
I loved you knock. I still do. I miss you so much already. I know you wouldn't have wanted me to resign, but it's the only way I can get away from the pain I feel in EADD now. It's all just bickering, arguing, biting at Sammy's heels, and all for what? Harm reduction?? EADD is not healthy, its community is toxic, and I need to get away from it all and sort my own life out which has come down around me over the last month. EADD can be fixed, and knock, you were the guy to fix it. Without you I really wouldn't know what to do, other than simply act as sponge for other peoples' embitterment and frustration.
I can't keep on keeping on, and I'm really sorry knock, but I hope you understand and can forgive me for buckling
I will never forget that first PM you sent to me, when I was down in the dumps with my MXE addiction, about how I reminded you of your nephew and felt something of a maternal instinct to look after me and make sure I was alright. It was the first time anyone had expressed any form of compassion towards me and the issues I was facing at the time. You were there for me at a time when I needed you, and it has been an honor to work with you this past year because I knew I was working with the man who cared about me and understood me, sometimes I think better than I understand myself. It breaks my heart to know you've gone.
I was debating showing my last message regards the mods, which was briefer than yours but said similar (sent it to snolly).
I'd actually told Knock I was leaving BL n he told me it had taken him a year to get used to things here n asked me to reconsider. I hate all this bickering too, Albion, n think it's a shame you're leaving. I've not really had a chance to get to know you but you must do what's right for YOU.
Can I please ask one thing, Albion? Could you give it a week or so before you resign? Please? You're grieving n hurting right now. There's a lot of anger around, I know. But please do sit on things for awhile, won't you?
Snolly I'm sorry I put this here n feel free to move it but I really had to say this to Albion. You're welcome to pm me anytime if you want to talk to someone. I'm really worried that you may be acting in grief n pain n may regret. Of course only you can decide but please take some time out, ok?!
My thoughts are with you xxxx
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Same here, bear. Went to my parents for dinner n couldn't get home quick enough. Got a headache from literally sobbing all day. I've been snappy with my child telling to go downstairs (cause I don't want her seeing me cry n get upset). I've never met knock or seen a picture n yet it's affected me like. I hope no one else dies because it's too much.
Bear you had anyone support you there?
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
How you coping dan?
Wouldve have posted overly verbose posts to the exact same ones you did, but held off cuz drama. etc.
Succinct bear is succinct. and accurate.
yep and what a day.
You know when someone comes out with the 'it's only the internet' line, or 'calm down, it's only the internet why take things so seriously? or whatever ...
If you choose your friends wisely, it's really just not the internet at all. In the right circumstances I'd meet every one of the people I'd call a genuine friend of mine on BL, I doubt I'd even be talking with them if that weren't the case
Knock would have been in my Top 4 most wanted to meet people listed, shared equally with a few others here. I wanted to take him mushroom picking and give him advice like he asked.
He was a constant around this place ... aways there but you could tell he been busy going back of house work, cos at the end of the day he still loved posting like a poster. I hink he missed not being able to do that more
Meh, bedtime for me
Take care people
Would have posted overly verbose posts to the exact same ones you did, but held off cuz drama. etc.
Succinct bear is succinct. and accurate.
yep and what a day.
You know when someone comes out with the 'it's only the internet' line, or 'calm down, it's only the internet why take things so seriously? or whatever ...
If you choose your friends wisely, it's really just not the internet at all. In the right circumstances I'd meet every one of the people I'd call a genuine friend of mine on BL, I doubt I'd even be talking with them if that weren't the case
Knock would have been in my Top 4 most wanted to meet people listed, shared equally with a few others here. I wanted to take him mushroom picking and give him advice like he asked.
He was a constant around this place ... aways there but you could tell he been busy going back of house work, cos at the end of the day he still loved posting like a poster. I hink he missed not being able to do that more
Meh, bedtime for me
Take care people
I made a comment a while back about people falling in love 'online'. I'm grieving about an online friend.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Wouldve have posted overly verbose posts to the exact same ones you did, but held off cuz drama. etc.
Succinct bear is succinct. and accurate.
yep and what a day.
You know when someone comes out with the 'it's only the internet' line, or 'calm down, it's only the internet why take things so seriously? or whatever ...
If you choose your friends wisely, it's really just not the internet at all. In the right circumstances I'd meet every one of the people I'd call a genuine friend of mine on BL, I doubt I'd even be talking with them if that weren't the case
Knock would have been in my Top 4 most wanted to meet people listed, shared equally with a few others here. I wanted to take him mushroom picking and give him advice like he asked.
He was a constant around this place ... aways there but you could tell he been busy going back of house work, cos at the end of the day he still loved posting like a poster. I hink he missed not being able to do that more
Meh, bedtime for me
Take care people
True post there, that. It's difficult having to act normal when you're grieving someone n you know your family won't understand n say "what you getting upset over the Internet for?" In fact I think you get to know people more intimately online that in real
Life. Yes physically you're both near one another but I don't think people have in-depth chats like they do online anyway.
Sleep well, Marmz
I just wish id gotten to meet him
ColtDan
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2009
- Messages
- 24,876
Its been okay thanks, chilled but productive, x
Course they do, i have ones deeper. or just as deep
I was thinking the same. You might be acting emotionally, which is certainly forgivable given the time.
I've always found you mature and responsible, have called upon your help before and will continue to, if you choose to stay. If you think it's better for you to leave, then I wish you the best but you will be missed.
RLP
Bluelighter
You have. Your grieving for him is as real as all the things about him that rubbed off on you that you take with you in your life outside BL, even if you don't recognize them in yourself yet.
We adapt ourselves on the people we know and respect. My ability to treat people with respect regardless of opinions, and to hear them out despite what I may think, is down to one man alone.
Given the outpouring here, it seems we've all met knock really.