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Mental Addiction To Drugs Before Even Doing Them

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ImAShark

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 2, 2014
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I feel like I am mentally addicted to a variety of different drugs, even though I have not tried most of them. I literally spend hours on the computer every day researching a bunch of different drugs (particularly ketamine, DMT, and heroin) and spend a lot of time thinking about how much I want to do them and what their effects would be like. I don't have any connections to be able to buy these drugs, so these are mainly just fantasies, but spend so much time thinking about them that I feel like I am mentally addicted. The only drugs that I have done are marijuana (hundreds of time, which I feel I am mentally addicted to), MDMA (once, but I would do it again if I had a connection), DXM (one, but I am going to start doing it more, although I am not to try for not too often), and Ritalin (just got it and it didn't do much, so hopefully I can control myself with this one). What I am asking for is did this happen with anyone else, where they felt addicted to a drug before actually trying it? I had also wanted to try marijuana for a while before I was ever actually able to, and had a similar (though much less extreme) addiction to wanting to try it as I do with other drugs now.
 
When I was 17-19, the only drug I had really done was weed, except for drinking sometimes. I also researched every drug under the sun...this really isn't an indication of what drugs you will or will not end up doing, mainly because the drugs you end up doing are usually just a product of who you hang out with or who you end up connecting with on the street level.

The only thing I can say is that if you keep on looking up all the different drugs, I mean, it's only going to take so long before your curiosity gets the better of you, and you actively just try to go out and seek stuff harder than weed.

If you keep on obsessing over drugs (you can't be addicted to something you've never done - all you're doing is showing that you're 'addicted', since you want to use that term, to reading information on drugs, and you're just displaying a compulsive obsession), you will likely start doing some different drugs...it's just a by-product of your obsession.

If I was to guess (this shit's all speculative, so don't take me too serious here), you'd probably start getting into amphetamines, coke, pain pills, or more into x, if only because those are the most common drugs, besides weed, out there. Also heroin, depending on where you live. If you're lucky, you'll have easy access to mushrooms or acid too...

If you're obsessed, then it's all you - but yeah, you should probably just suppress your curiosity since these good intentions of just wanting to experiment with drugs other than weed (the harder stuff) isn't really a good thing, is it? Taking a gamut of drugs recreationally IS intriguing to think about, but you are just doing it to your body. It's not that big of a deal after you've been there done that for a few years... You are after all just saying you really want to try out a lot of different drugs that you've read about...but, why? It's not a Hollywood movie, it's not going to be glamorous. Some of these drugs can pretty easily lead into addictions...they're not like weed, which is pretty much harmless.

If you want my advice stick to weed. But if you're really that obsessed, you're not going to take my advice...and yeah, I've been there. It doesn't take long to figure out why it actually is a big deal to differentiate between the psychologically addictive properties of weed and the physically addictive properties of most other shit out there, like with Adderall. Also when you start copping coke or H or pills you might get involved in other types of shit that you don't want to be involved in (could be anything). And the physical addictions of harder substances than weed might interfere with your regular everyday life. It's obviously still shady to get weed in most of the US, but everything's relative...peace
 
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Wow thanks for that long reply, honestly I have done a decent amount to get harder drugs but the connections just aren't there for me. Almost all of my friends don't want to do anything other than weed (although a lot of them have tried other drugs, but don't want to anymore for some reason), so I doubt that I will have any lucking getting anything else any time soon. But I definitely want to at least try all of the drugs that I mentioned, plus a few more.
 
Did it occur to you though that there maybe a good reason why those people who have tried those other drugs dont want to do them anymore? You will probably end up trying some of them regardless but just remember ther is nothing at all glamorous about being a junkie..and every junkie starts off saying they are going to just try it and that wont happen to them. Just be careful and go with your gut.
 
That's not a mental addiction, I guess you're fascinated by these drugs just as I am. I've been watching loads of drug related vids, watching vids of people nodding off, shooting up, watching documentaries and shit, as well as reading up on RC's and reading trip reports and fantasizing about doing them etc.
I used to dream of smoking weed before I had even smoked it (I knew the smell well though), and once I did it, it was like "wow this is it? I feel nothing"
It might seem attractive or glamorous or something but like missmeyet said, it'll get old real quick once you start doing them.
 
Your not addicted your obsessing. If you obsess about them now...imagine how much more will you obsess about them when you try them. I did the same thing you did. I read a lot of psychology books as a kid. Then I read about Drugs and Consiousness. That led to me erowid and other resources where I started obsessing. I started reading about\doing drugs at 14. I didn't really start using hard drugs regularly until I was 19. Then I became addicted to literally everything at the same time. My life was in shambles in a year and a half and I was too. I'm still recovering.
 
There's something so fascinating about mind altering substances and the human mind itself that I find myself reading about drugs very often too. I have a few substances in my possession now but I really don't have any urge to do them, I'm waiting for special occasion. But the desire to try different drugs has been there since i was like 14 years old and I'm now 22. Guess the "honeymoon" is over now when I have had the chance to try LSD, MDMA, cannabis, some dissociatives, shrooms, 2C-B etc. but they still remain very interesting and I'm especially interested them in scientifically way but that doesn't mean that I don't love the effects of these substances in a hedonistic way.

Somehow I have succeeded to avoid any addictions or negative effects but that's not the case for everyone as I think you know very well.
 
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weekend addiction said:
Your not addicted your obsessing. If you obsess about them now...imagine how much more will you obsess about them when you try them. I did the same thing you did. I read a lot of psychology books as a kid. Then I read about Drugs and Consiousness. That led to me erowid and other resources where I started obsessing. I started reading about\doing drugs at 14. I didn't really start using hard drugs regularly until I was 19. Then I became addicted to literally everything at the same time. My life was in shambles in a year and a half and I was too. I'm still recovering.
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pretty much my exact same story (erowid>hard drugs as teenager>addicted>recovery)

To the OP: You're infatuated with the idea of taking drugs that interest you. Infatuation or obsession is not the same as addiction. I was infatuated with DMT. I first became aware of it during the summer of 2007 and by January 2008 I was conducting my own extractions. I wasn't addicted prior to trying it though.

My own advice to you is to realize that most drugs are a very dangerous game. Please tread lightly and realize that irreversible damage from chronic use or abuse is a possibility. You are your own person, and I am not telling you to never do drugs. Being as educated as possible and as careful as possible at all times is a necessity though. Otherwise prepare for rehab, homelessness, or death. Didn't mean to scare you with that last sentence. Just trying not to sugarcoat it.
 
When you crave a drug because you've seen it in movies & how it was glamorized & you think its gonna be like that when you do it & its nothing like the movies.

Don't expect too much from any drug & you won't be let down.......
 
ImAShark said:
Wow thanks for that long reply, honestly I have done a decent amount to get harder drugs but the connections just aren't there for me. Almost all of my friends don't want to do anything other than weed (although a lot of them have tried other drugs, but don't want to anymore for some reason), so I doubt that I will have any lucking getting anything else any time soon. But I definitely want to at least try all of the drugs that I mentioned, plus a few more.
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Lol dude, did you even read my post carefully man???? Even after all that I said all you're saying is "I definitely want to at least try all of the drugs that I mentioned, plus a few more"...the deal is a lot of times it actually DOES just take one try to possibly get into something for a while as in getting addicted. It's a cliche but it literally happens all the fucking time...people have to start somewhere. My advice is stick to weed. Try all the drugs you want, it's really not that fun, you just think it is.
 
I'm kind of in the same position. Drugs and farmacology interests me a lot but it can be a good thing because you get to know true facts and not the bullshit the propaganda tells us. Even if I don't post very much i have been reading bluelight pretty much everyday for like 2 years haha and now I know a lot about harm reduction and things that most of the people don't know about (not bluelighters ;) ). I also believe that reading about drugs and the brain and things like that have helped me to find my true passion which is neuroscience and to be more careful about some drugs while also enjoying others.
 
Whenever I was like seven I remember eating smarties (Candy that resembles pills) and pretending to be out of it. That was what my mom was doin...so I was just mimicing. But I loved the idea of drugs at like 10, 11 years old. I always wanted to be a heroin junkie. In all reality meth found me first.
 
When I was a kid I was obsessed with drugs, much like you, but did not have any access to them. Fast forward to moving to the city, turning 17 and meeting new people and I ended up living with a heroin addict, dealing and all kinds of other crazy shit. And yes, the drugs were just as much fun as portrayed in the movies, if not more. After a couple of years the novelty of experimenting with drugs wears off, although they are still a wonderful part of my life. I have no doubt in my mind you will end up trying harder drugs so there's probably no point in trying to warn you not to, and hell, I see nothing wrong with a little bit of healthy experimentation. As you grow older your current friends will probably start to bore you and you'll find yourself drifting away from them. Eventually, you will meet people that are more like you who will introduce you to the connections you need.

Turning an interest in drug use into a fetish, however, is probably not very healthy. Try not to focus on anyone drug too much. It will just make waiting for your 'dream drug' to pop up all the much harder. Even if you do find solid connections soon the more you obsess over any one drug the harder it will be for the actual experience to compare to what you have in your fantasies.
 
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