When does it get better?

[Pagey]

Haven't really wanted to post on this website since hearing about Tom/ponti's death because it just feels wrong, but I need advice, yet again, and this seems like the best place to turn.
It's been almost a month now and it doesn't really hurt any less. I need help dealing with it, please...anything anyone knows of that could help. I know a lot of people in EADD have unfortunately lost loved ones so if there's anything you did to help you cope that helped in any way please, please tell me.
Thank you.

 

[Mental Kenny]

Time heals, sorry but the only thing that can help you get over the loss of a loved one is time. The only thing.

You can obviously numb your feelings and I'm sure you're aware that's only a short term solution and potentially dangerous.

Live your life, try to do things that keep you busy and at some point, hopefully, you'll be able to get over it.

Take care

 

[Urbain]

Sorry to hear your feeling low Pagey.

I agree with Kenny on this. The one brighter surety you can always take, when things are hard and times are rough, is that things will get better with time. It's just going to be shit for a while, and you need to prepare yourself for that. Take up a new hobby, stay active. I know it's easier said than done, but sitting still and being left with your own thoughts can make things so much worse.

All the best.

 

[Si Dread]

I don't wanna post on this subject, nuff of it irl really.

It takes time. Don't give up, you'll get there. Don't rush it either, anything worth having takes time. I wish I could say something that would make it better in 5 minutes but I can't so, just be patient, take it one day at a time, try to keep busy & distracted. Don't try to hide what you feel behind drugs, booze, sex with the town trampoline nor with the town tramp for that matter! You have to accept.

If you'd never had a good friend, you'd never have lost them! In time you start remembering all the laughs & the smiles & the good times & all this awful loss will slowly fade. You never stop missing them, you never stop crying about it, but eventually the great times you've had will begin to outwiegh the negative thoughts of loss.

Lots of people care about ya, here, at home, all through your life. Be strong. You're not alone!

 

[kingme]

im sorry abput your loss and am with everyone on this, time will heal... i dont think there is an easy way through mouring, nor should there be, the pain one feels is proportionate to the loss... so maybe think what would he want for you in this situation, surely to try to concentrate and live you life to the fullest, try to touch others as he has you?
being socially active and distracted helps pass the time too. anything not to be alone with the bad thoughts.

wish there was more we could do to help ...
much love

 

[joe90]

As a lurker myself these days I find it very sad reading all the sad stories on this website....The pain I imagine your feeling Pagey has the potential of moving you towards truely feeling your own pain and being able to move away/on from addiction if you chose.

 

[Raasyvibe]

Haven't really wanted to post on this website since hearing about Tom/ponti's death because it just feels wrong, but I need advice, yet again, and this seems like the best place to turn.
It's been almost a month now and it doesn't really hurt any less. I need help dealing with it, please...anything anyone knows of that could help. I know a lot of people in EADD have unfortunately lost loved ones so if there's anything you did to help you cope that helped in any way please, please tell me.
Thank you.

I know it's really hard, but try to stay positive. You did at least meet Ponti and nothing will erase those memories.

Death is a part of this world. It's very imperfect. Shit happens - and will happen again no doubt. But through it all you got to meet an amazing friend and are much richer for it. Nothing will eraze those memories, nothing will break your respect for him. You will meet many more friends and have more amazing experiences also. Embrace the good which always shines through the murky realities of our lives.

Ponti developed a lot of problems and subsequent negativity, leading to his death. Please do not let the negativity of his actions spread to you. Stay positive through life, appreciate all you have gained, and will further gain.

 

[Pagey]

Thanks very much for the answers, it means a lot.

I'm just finding it incredibly frustrating to know that the only real 'cure' here is time. Feels so frustrating to think that there isn't really anything to do but sit around and wait for the pain to fade.
I'm trying to stay active and not spend too much time in my head and stuff but well...got a tattoo of a T on my arm last monday as a kind of homage to him and it helped me get closure in a way, because I know it's a promise that I'll never forget him.
But yeah. It's really, really, really shit. Nothing quite like this to put things into perspective.

Thanks again.

 

[Tangerine Dream]

Time hasn't 'healed' me yet Dunno how long it takes? Still waiting... (sorry, honest message though) I feel your pain.