Cancer??? (The irony of a suicidal junkie getting cancer...)
Not sure if this fits here, but, I need some support.
About two weeks ago something happened. I was taking the bus to see my girlfriend - who I see in the weekends, because she lives in another city - and I suddenly had a terrible urge to pee. I naturally thought I had to go, no big deal, just annoying. When I arrived I urinated. End of.
But then it happened the next week too. This time I had made sure to pee twice before going.
It happened a third time, this time I still had the urge to pee once I had gone.
I assumed UTI.
But it doesn't fit. No pain during urination, and, often I don't actually have to go once I get to a bathroom.
Now it has happened three or four times. Always when one a long bus ride, when far away from bathrooms and usually when with other people.
Sounds psychological, right?
Except, I have had a lot less anxiety lately. I never get anxious on public transport, and the last time I got it - during class - it made no sense, since I have finally gotten over the worst of my social anxiety there.
Naturally my mind wanders to bladder cancer. Diabetes. Yes, I eat a LOT of sugar, so diabetes is not crazy. Nor is bladder cancer - no cancer at all in my family, but I have a condition which apparently makes me more prone to that type of cancer.
Anyway. I'm waiting for results from urine test.
But in the meanwhile it's killing me.
I DON'T wanna be "that" guy who has to avoid public spaces or need to be near a toilet at all times. I'm a guy, btw.
My shrink can't see me until two weeks and meanwhile I feel humiliated and scared. Scared from the pain that comes with this, and afraid of what deadly illness I may have.
Support? Been there? Is my subconscious telling me something? Is it separation anxiety from the lack of social anxiety lately? A subconscious need to be sick? What?
Help.... Please...
Not sure if this fits here, but, I need some support.
About two weeks ago something happened. I was taking the bus to see my girlfriend - who I see in the weekends, because she lives in another city - and I suddenly had a terrible urge to pee. I naturally thought I had to go, no big deal, just annoying. When I arrived I urinated. End of.
But then it happened the next week too. This time I had made sure to pee twice before going.
It happened a third time, this time I still had the urge to pee once I had gone.
I assumed UTI.
But it doesn't fit. No pain during urination, and, often I don't actually have to go once I get to a bathroom.
Now it has happened three or four times. Always when one a long bus ride, when far away from bathrooms and usually when with other people.
Sounds psychological, right?
Except, I have had a lot less anxiety lately. I never get anxious on public transport, and the last time I got it - during class - it made no sense, since I have finally gotten over the worst of my social anxiety there.
Naturally my mind wanders to bladder cancer. Diabetes. Yes, I eat a LOT of sugar, so diabetes is not crazy. Nor is bladder cancer - no cancer at all in my family, but I have a condition which apparently makes me more prone to that type of cancer.
Anyway. I'm waiting for results from urine test.
But in the meanwhile it's killing me.
I DON'T wanna be "that" guy who has to avoid public spaces or need to be near a toilet at all times. I'm a guy, btw.
My shrink can't see me until two weeks and meanwhile I feel humiliated and scared. Scared from the pain that comes with this, and afraid of what deadly illness I may have.
Support? Been there? Is my subconscious telling me something? Is it separation anxiety from the lack of social anxiety lately? A subconscious need to be sick? What?
Help.... Please...
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