Finding a Partner Seems Impossible

[llama112]

Be confident, have a good attitude. Try to meet friends, not just someone to hook up with. Try to get to know someone.
And girls who say no because they have boyfriends... that's something you're always going to get. It sucks but lots of people are in relationships and you have to move on. That's never going to go away. I feel bad for *some* guys who I reject. It's not because they're ugly or mean or whatever, it's simply because I am in a relationship and I'm not looking to date or sleep with anyone else. But I never mean it as an insult. There are some guys who are very disrespectful and rude while trying to pick me up and I dislike that BUT when a guy is polite about it, I really genuinely don't mean to be mean when I say "no, sorry, I have a boyfriend". Please do not take that as an insult. It's not YOUR fault. It's simply not the right time.

Keep trying, don't give up. Be friendly, confident, and just be yourself. If where you're looking doesn't seem successful, try someplace new. Try something new. You never know what could happen.

 

[Tude]

By your post, I can tell your confidence is in the shitter. You need to believe you're the shit!

Maybe you'll discredit my opinion because I'm a woman, but I'm unattractive and get hit on all the time! I walk around with the KNOWLEDGE that I'm the shit. This draws people to me, whether to be friends or to flirt. I'm well-liked wherever I go.

Something people really like is laughing. A sense of humor is hugely helpful. I know from experience, since I'm funny as fuck.

You're tall, slim, go to a hard school to get into, likely among other things. Act like it!

 

[Gratuitous Grace]

OP, if your looks, charm, and wit haven't gotten you laid in two years, it's time to try a different approach. I think you know this. To me, it sounds like you need to develop a little more interest in life before any woman is going to develop any interest (short-term or long-term) in you. Maybe this is just another way of saying that "your attitude sucks," but I know you've heard that a few times already. Are you really engaged with anything cool at all? I mean, besides trying to get laid? 'Cause I'll tell you, a guy with nothing going on, a guy who's just looking to score, a guy with no passion is probably going nowhere. A girl has to want to be with you, and you've got to give her a reason to want that. Don't get me wrong ... you may be. I don't know. I just haven't heard it yet. So, I figured I'd make the suggestion.

What are you good at? What about you is going to make some cute girl think, "wow, that's really cool" and be proud to introduce you to her friends? It doesn't matter what it is exactly -- not at all. That's the beauty of it. It can be anything. You'll connect with different people depending on what you're putting out there, but you've got to put out something. Stop being generic ... I think that's what I'm saying.

Ride a motorcycle, play lacrosse, do yoga, head up the chess team, play drums in a rock band, work for Tibetan independence. Whatever! Be three-dimensional, you'll gain the confidence you're lacking, and what you want will come to you.

Put it this way. No matter what you're actually talking about, if you really have nothing to say, then what she's hearing is "yeah, I'm checking out your ass because I haven't gotten laid in two years." Going nowhere. Compare that with "hey, thanks for coming to check out our band tonight ... I appreciate you stopping by. And, oh, you're drinking free tonight -- just tell the bartender you're with me." Going somewhere ... and probably somewhere pretty good.

 

[Michael_25]

Be confident, have a good attitude. Try to meet friends, not just someone to hook up with. Try to get to know someone.
And girls who say no because they have boyfriends... that's something you're always going to get. It sucks but lots of people are in relationships and you have to move on. That's never going to go away. I feel bad for *some* guys who I reject. It's not because they're ugly or mean or whatever, it's simply because I am in a relationship and I'm not looking to date or sleep with anyone else. But I never mean it as an insult. There are some guys who are very disrespectful and rude while trying to pick me up and I dislike that BUT when a guy is polite about it, I really genuinely don't mean to be mean when I say "no, sorry, I have a boyfriend". Please do not take that as an insult. It's not YOUR fault. It's simply not the right time.

Keep trying, don't give up. Be friendly, confident, and just be yourself. If where you're looking doesn't seem successful, try someplace new. Try something new. You never know what could happen.

That's what I've been trying to do. However, I never progress beyond the "beginning" stages. Further, it's hard to make advances on girls when they do not show any type of interest in me.

 

[Michael_25]

By your post, I can tell your confidence is in the shitter. You need to believe you're the shit!

Maybe you'll discredit my opinion because I'm a woman, but I'm unattractive and get hit on all the time! I walk around with the KNOWLEDGE that I'm the shit. This draws people to me, whether to be friends or to flirt. I'm well-liked wherever I go.

Something people really like is laughing. A sense of humor is hugely helpful. I know from experience, since I'm funny as fuck.

You're tall, slim, go to a hard school to get into, likely among other things. Act like it!

How do I "act like it" when all I notice is condescenion and disinterest? I need a REASON to feel like "the shit." Sure, I'm tall. That hasn't made girls want me. I'm in good shape, too -- girls still aren't interested. I'm in a decent school -- well, girls don't really seem to care about that.

OP, if your looks, charm, and wit haven't gotten you laid in two years, it's time to try a different approach. I think you know this. To me, it sounds like you need to develop a little more interest in life before any woman is going to develop any interest (short-term or long-term) in you. Maybe this is just another way of saying that "your attitude sucks," but I know you've heard that a few times already. Are you really engaged with anything cool at all? I mean, besides trying to get laid? 'Cause I'll tell you, a guy with nothing going on, a guy who's just looking to score, a guy with no passion is probably going nowhere. A girl has to want to be with you, and you've got to give her a reason to want that. Don't get me wrong ... you may be. I don't know. I just haven't heard it yet. So, I figured I'd make the suggestion.

What are you good at? What about you is going to make some cute girl think, "wow, that's really cool" and be proud to introduce you to her friends? It doesn't matter what it is exactly -- not at all. That's the beauty of it. It can be anything. You'll connect with different people depending on what you're putting out there, but you've got to put out something. Stop being generic ... I think that's what I'm saying.

Ride a motorcycle, play lacrosse, do yoga, head up the chess team, play drums in a rock band, work for Tibetan independence. Whatever! Be three-dimensional, you'll gain the confidence you're lacking, and what you want will come to you.

Put it this way. No matter what you're actually talking about, if you really have nothing to say, then what she's hearing is "yeah, I'm checking out your ass because I haven't gotten laid in two years." Going nowhere. Compare that with "hey, thanks for coming to check out our band tonight ... I appreciate you stopping by. And, oh, you're drinking free tonight -- just tell the bartender you're with me." Going somewhere ... and probably somewhere pretty good.

I play basketball and tennis. They are probably the only two social things I do, and I haven't met any girls through those 2 activities. I like the style you suggested, but I don't think it would suit me. Can you imagine someone like Bill Gates using a line like the one you gave me? Yeah, wouldn't work because it doesn't fit his persona. Same problem for me.

 

[Ksa]

I don't look at them in passing because they would probably feel gross that a guy like me is checking them out/looking at them. These girls can easily get guys with a 6-pack and great personality to boot. Why would they want an average-looking dude with a poor personality? I'm sure you wouldn't want to be oggled by some short obese girl.

He's asking a fundamental question. The reason why they would go out with you and not the 6 pack dudes is because you are a very happy person and all you try to do is share your happiness with them. If you look at them to make you happy not even obese ones go out with you. I met a hot girl once, she was sad, kept venting, you know, she was looking at me to make her happy and solve her problems. That doesn't work because it is rape. Taking advantage of someone in his vulnerable state is immoral.

If you go to them being vulnerable, even if they want to fuck you, they will fear prosecution. It's too obvious you need them to be happy. You have to persuade them that you're so happy that they are just not in the equation when it comes to your happiness and that you want to give them energy, not drain their energy.

It is deplorable that such tactics have to be deployed but you live in a world of brainwashed individuals. You need to play by their rules.

 

[Gratuitous Grace]

I play basketball and tennis. They are probably the only two social things I do, and I haven't met any girls through those 2 activities. I like the style you suggested, but I don't think it would suit me. Can you imagine someone like Bill Gates using a line like the one you gave me? Yeah, wouldn't work because it doesn't fit his persona. Same problem for me.

I might have set up a misunderstanding with those hypothetical quotes. I didn't mean to give you a literal line to use -- not at all. I was just trying to picture one way out of billions that this could go.

Tennis -- that's excellent, even though you seem to dismiss it. (Basketball not so much since men and women don't usually play together.) Actually, tennis is twice as good as anything I suggested because you can play tennis together. You have a ready-made first date, even if neither of you really even considers it a first date. I would push that for a while and see if it gets you anywhere.

There must be tennis leagues or less formal groups where you live -- Florida you said, right? Or post (or respond to) an ad on CL or some local site for tennis partners. You can make it clear that you're looking for women only -- make sure you're in "m4w" or however the particular site is set up. You'll meet someone with whom you already have a lot in common.

The one thing you *have* to do using this approach is to be sincere and genuine. She has to know that you're interested in her primarily as a tennis-playing-person and that the whole thing wasn't just a setup to get her into bed. If you approach it like that, it's going to fail. So, first steps ... just find a cute girl to play tennis with. That's it. The rest will flow (or won't) on its own. That's really beyond your control.

The big benefit, here, is that you won't be wasting your time. What's the worst that can happen? You two don't click romantically and you have a nice afternoon or evening playing tennis? What could be bad? Sure beats hitting on women in a bar all night only to leave alone.

 

[Tude]

How do I "act like it" when all I notice is condescenion and disinterest? I need a REASON to feel like "the shit." Sure, I'm tall. That hasn't made girls want me. I'm in good shape, too -- girls still aren't interested. I'm in a decent school -- well, girls don't really seem to care about that.

You act like it by not letting outside opinions sway your mood and the way you carry yourself. Insecurity is a huge red flag and a people deterrent.

 

[Michael_25]

He's asking a fundamental question. The reason why they would go out with you and not the 6 pack dudes is because you are a very happy person and all you try to do is share your happiness with them. If you look at them to make you happy not even obese ones go out with you. I met a hot girl once, she was sad, kept venting, you know, she was looking at me to make her happy and solve her problems. That doesn't work because it is rape. Taking advantage of someone in his vulnerable state is immoral.

If you go to them being vulnerable, even if they want to fuck you, they will fear prosecution. It's too obvious you need them to be happy. You have to persuade them that you're so happy that they are just not in the equation when it comes to your happiness and that you want to give them energy, not drain their energy.

It is deplorable that such tactics have to be deployed but you live in a world of brainwashed individuals. You need to play by their rules.

I don't put on a facade. I act the way I feel. I don't feel any great sadness, and by and large, I am happy with my life. However, it would be nice to share it with a female companion. I'm not an "emotional vampire." At least I don't think I make people feel drained and despondent after talking to me. I do, however, give off a somewhat nervous vibe when speaking to an attractive member of the opposite sex. Hell, even with a not-so-attractive member of the opposite sex. I believe that's primarily due to my lack of inexperience with opposite-sex relationships. Thanks for your input, by the way.

I might have set up a misunderstanding with those hypothetical quotes. I didn't mean to give you a literal line to use -- not at all. I was just trying to picture one way out of billions that this could go.

Tennis -- that's excellent, even though you seem to dismiss it. (Basketball not so much since men and women don't usually play together.) Actually, tennis is twice as good as anything I suggested because you can play tennis together. You have a ready-made first date, even if neither of you really even considers it a first date. I would push that for a while and see if it gets you anywhere.

There must be tennis leagues or less formal groups where you live -- Florida you said, right? Or post (or respond to) an ad on CL or some local site for tennis partners. You can make it clear that you're looking for women only -- make sure you're in "m4w" or however the particular site is set up. You'll meet someone with whom you already have a lot in common.

The one thing you *have* to do using this approach is to be sincere and genuine. She has to know that you're interested in her primarily as a tennis-playing-person and that the whole thing wasn't just a setup to get her into bed. If you approach it like that, it's going to fail. So, first steps ... just find a cute girl to play tennis with. That's it. The rest will flow (or won't) on its own. That's really beyond your control.

The big benefit, here, is that you won't be wasting your time. What's the worst that can happen? You two don't click romantically and you have a nice afternoon or evening playing tennis? What could be bad? Sure beats hitting on women in a bar all night only to leave alone.

You know, for all the years I've played tennis only ONCE have I played against a female. The thing is, asking a girl for a game of tennis feels may make her think that I'm making a surreptitious advance on her. It's weird; I want to attract a member of the opposite sex, but I don't want them to know that I like them. This paradox is strange, but it helps me from getting rejected. Rejection makes me feel as though I'm a failure in some way. Of course, everyone gets rejected by people all the time; and you have to make a move if you want to get somewhere. That "move" I have to make just feels so fucking hard. It's like jumping straight into the pool at the deep end when I can't swim that well -- you could use this as an analogy in regard to taking a huge risk when I don't have the skills to undertake such a risk.

You act like it by not letting outside opinions sway your mood and the way you carry yourself. Insecurity is a huge red flag and a people deterrent.

I try to just ignore any type of statement that's intended to provoke me in some way. I simply go about my business, but yes, derogatory remarks still bite at times.

 

[crestfallen]

Dude I used to be just like you. I couldn't get girls for the life of me and I had no clue why. I was above average looking, in shape (not sick pack or anything), and went to a good school. Every day I would see less than average douchebags walking around with a gorgeous girl holding hands and kissing. It pissed me off in a way because I knew anything they had, I had twice as much but my incredibly shy personality and huge fear of rejection kept me from even saying hello to girls in my class. Sometimes I would try and approach a new girl, faking confidence, and talk to her but I could tell they weren't interested or saw right through me. Pretty soon I stopped people altogether because it was just too much stress and rejection for me to handle anymore. Long story short, I was depressed and had very high levels of anxiety, coupled with the fact that I didn't ever want to show my true emotions because I felt people wouldn't care (mommy issues lol).

After self medicating with drugs and alcohol for 2 years, ruining my family relationships, while still stuck in that same shithole I was in, I had enough. I needed a drastic change. I decided to join the military, the Marine Corps to be exact. I knew I would learn confidence, leadership skills, and become a total badass who girls would line up to be with. Before I even joined, my attitude started to become better, I was more positive, and started working out so I would be in shape for boot camp. Girls started looking at me differently and some actually engaged me in convo which had NEVER happened before. They saw I was a confident guy who was enjoying his life and had direction in his life. Girls are attracted to the "energy" that a guy exudes and yours, just like mine was, is a life sucking cancer. The moment you actually start to TRULY enjoy life, everything will change and people will naturally be attracted to that. That's why even the clowns at school who don't deserve those girls end up getting them.

I'm not saying you should go sign up for the military but I do feel it can benefit your outlook on life by increasing your confidence and make you a leader that holds his head up high. You need to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. This will increase your happiness, confidence, which in turn will increase your booty rate lol. Good Luck man, there is a light at the end of the tunnel

 

[pofacedhoe]

He's asking a fundamental question. The reason why they would go out with you and not the 6 pack dudes is because you are a very happy person and all you try to do is share your happiness with them. If you look at them to make you happy not even obese ones go out with you. I met a hot girl once, she was sad, kept venting, you know, she was looking at me to make her happy and solve her problems. That doesn't work because it is rape. Taking advantage of someone in his vulnerable state is immoral.

If you go to them being vulnerable, even if they want to fuck you, they will fear prosecution. It's too obvious you need them to be happy. You have to persuade them that you're so happy that they are just not in the equation when it comes to your happiness and that you want to give them energy, not drain their energy.

It is deplorable that such tactics have to be deployed but you live in a world of brainwashed individuals. You need to play by their rules.

what does any of this mean? are you trying to say that people are drawn towards happiness.

Dude I used to be just like you. I couldn't get girls for the life of me and I had no clue why. I was above average looking, in shape (not sick pack or anything), and went to a good school. Every day I would see less than average douchebags walking around with a gorgeous girl holding hands and kissing. It pissed me off in a way because I knew anything they had, I had twice as much but my incredibly shy personality and huge fear of rejection kept me from even saying hello to girls in my class. Sometimes I would try and approach a new girl, faking confidence, and talk to her but I could tell they weren't interested or saw right through me. Pretty soon I stopped people altogether because it was just too much stress and rejection for me to handle anymore. Long story short, I was depressed and had very high levels of anxiety, coupled with the fact that I didn't ever want to show my true emotions because I felt people wouldn't care (mommy issues lol).

After self medicating with drugs and alcohol for 2 years, ruining my family relationships, while still stuck in that same shithole I was in, I had enough. I needed a drastic change. I decided to join the military, the Marine Corps to be exact. I knew I would learn confidence, leadership skills, and become a total badass who girls would line up to be with. Before I even joined, my attitude started to become better, I was more positive, and started working out so I would be in shape for boot camp. Girls started looking at me differently and some actually engaged me in convo which had NEVER happened before. They saw I was a confident guy who was enjoying his life and had direction in his life. Girls are attracted to the "energy" that a guy exudes and yours, just like mine was, is a life sucking cancer. The moment you actually start to TRULY enjoy life, everything will change and people will naturally be attracted to that. That's why even the clowns at school who don't deserve those girls end up getting them.

I'm not saying you should go sign up for the military but I do feel it can benefit your outlook on life by increasing your confidence and make you a leader that holds his head up high. You need to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. This will increase your happiness, confidence, which in turn will increase your booty rate lol. Good Luck man, there is a light at the end of the tunnel

yeah i agree with the happiness and confidence thing. the army though is not the only way to be confident. what you need is to be enjoying your life and for everyone that means a different path.

it sucks knowing that I can never have any relationship with them other than a platonic one.

When I walk by a pretty girl I avoid looking at her because I don't think she would appreciate someone like me looking at her.

when i walk down the road as a gay man knowing that the vast majority of men are not interested i check them out like the world owes me something and i do this with women too even tho i'm not that into them. why can you not look at people?

lack of confidence comes though in body language but also you need to remember that its a numbers game when talking to people.

 

[Jabberwocky]

.......And it sucks knowing that I can never have any relationship with them other than a platonic one........

Sounds fallacious to me. How do you know this?

Uni is the place to get laid while you can, bro. Uni bar is the place to be on a Friday afternoon-evening. It will happen, just allow it to; act natural, don't be afraid to start up a conversation with the pretty girl standing in line waiting for a drink...in fact, ask her if you can buy her a drink. That would be a good start, in my honest opinion.

 

[Ksa]

what does any of this mean? are you trying to say that people are drawn towards happiness.

I have nothing to say to you sir. You don't even know proper punctuation. See:


What does any of this mean? Are you trying to say that people are drawn towards happiness?

 

[freehugs]

I have nothing to say to you sir. You don't even know proper punctuation. See:


What does any of this mean? Are you trying to say that people are drawn towards happiness?

Boy oh boy is that irrelevant to his statement.

 

[TruthSpeaker1]

I think most people here hit it home but yes it all starts with mindset my friend. You know we've all seen those weird couples and wondered "WTF is THAT guy/girl doing with him/her??". Well it's mostly about your confidence, personality and overall charisma/charm that lasts after your looks get old, because even really attractive people's faces get boring to look at and then all that's left is your personality.

Plus maybe your not meeting the right girls? I mean girls are incredibly different, some girls like the quiet, strong type some like loud and outgoing. it just all depends man whats important is that you find a girl that your good with and less a girl that all your other friends find attractive.

 

[ratbagfungirl]

ok. I'm a single 33 y.o. chick from australia. My advice to you is get a writing book and a pen and write a pro's and con's list about yourself. You seem like the type of guy, although lacking self confidence, self worth and avoid awkward, confronting situation that might make put you in a position of being publicly shamed etc. I'll tell you something that helped me moving schools sometimes 2..3 or 4 times a year. Everyone feels the way you do on the inside. Usually the more confident people seem the less they truly are. The weak and vulnerable build this character of who they wish they were....the reason being as I'm sure you are aware people see weakness as an opportunity to attack to boost their own weak innerself by deflating yours. Others will talk to you in private situations but don't want to be known as you're friend in case they get teased for it and don't want to risk others finding out they aren't "all that" inside their true mind. Everyone hates something about their body, sometimes family, and always about their personality. We all want to be the confident, cool, calm and collected people from the movies we watch. That is scripted bullshit. everyone fears awkward moments and get nervous about public humiliation. Good on you for NOT pretending to be somebody else...this quality actually makes you a stronger, braver and more honest person than all the ones with their assumptions about you. Don't be in a rush to get a girlfriend coz once the girls realize that most guys are all about image and want someone who will be kind, loving, giving etc which I sense you want to give to the right lady. You are a catch so don't settle for anyone but you're perfect soulmate. This girl will be as warm, kind and compassionate as you are and probably struggles with social status or lack of. So when you find each other your wait will be worth it. Good luck and stay true to who you are...that is a quality that will not only find you love but help you throughout your whole life. Good luck..not that you need it!!!....things will happen how and when they are supposed to. In the meantime..find a hobby or start something that is just because you want to. you will meet people who share those interests and you're circle of people will grow...and with it so will you're self worth. don't forget to smell the roses by focusing on the fear of the thorns. Make you're life awesome for yourself...and slowly things will better. You just have to remind yourself....you are just as important as anyone else in this world. You deserve to be a bit selfish sometimes and decide what you do and don't like, not just going with the flow. don't supress you're feelings of injustice n walk away feeling weak. If someone angers you, be assertive and tell them you don't like it and don't have to put u[p with it. only you can know what is right or wrong for you. Just remember..if you call fake people on really being weak on the inside...they will almost always back down. you're honesty is your strength, their falseness is their downfall...use it! Once you see people in this light you will also see yourself differently. sorry for rambling but I also went through this feeling of "i'm not good enough, or smart or funny enough" free yourself by knowing you possess strength for not letting their judgement change your gentle nature. bottom line is...it's not about you deserving them....they don't deserve you...coz the one who deserves you won't want to change a thing about you except you're relationship status. I know I ramble alot..I just hope somewhere in all that babble you can bring yourself to believe what I'm saying and believe in yourself. Just be yourself and don't fear judgement. those that judge harshly are usually the ones who fear it the most!! look them up and down and say....and why would you're opinion matter to me? The real you probably cries alone at night coz you don't really like yourself...so you pretend to be someone you're not and pick on others to make yourself feel good... but it really makes you shallow, selfish and quite pathetic. Helping others is a way I get a boost for myself..much more rewarding for all involved. This is you're life and journey...this world is yours to walk just as it is anyone elses. Never change your line of direction for others who wouldn't do it for you. claim you're right to be here and to be heard coz you probably have more to contribute to this world than the ones who hold you back and get off on you looking up to them. ok. I'll stop now. and you don't need good conversationalist skills. ask the girl about her life and show you are listening and are interested in what she has to say not what is under her clothes. As she tells you about her hobbies, how many siblings etc you will feel more confident to open up and be yourself. Just ask lots of questions and remember the little details....us girls like that stuff!!! If all else fails...go out n get blind n at least get some sex!!!!! you owe it to yourself and you're tackle to misbehave occasionally. It's good for you're stress levels lol. Don't be too serious....we're on borrowed time. when the body we use to enjoy our time wears out you will be no better or worse of than when you're life began....but hopefully can grin to yourself knowing you had fun and made the most of it... take little risks...throw caution to the wind. Things might go wrong...but they just might go right too. inaction through fear of failure is the biggest failure of all because you let fear hold you back which creates the outcome you tried to avoid. ask a girl out...whats worst could happen...she says no....to that you reply..ok...your loss coz I'm a nice guy who would walk naked through a bush of thorns if it was on my path to making my girl smile and want for nothing. If you won't even give me one date to get to know me.. then you don't deserve what I have to offer. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing you are hurt by their rejection. if you lick enough toads.. one of them will eventually make you hallucinate. haha. nothing to lose and alot to gain. keep things lighthearted. You'll go through a few bitches before you find your beauty! just put the bitches down to practice for the real thing! try not too fall too hard and fast....you'll get your heart chewed up spat out and trodden on before you realize it's missing. in 5 years you'll look back on this moment n smile coz you'll have lost count by then!!!

 

['medicine cabinet']

^haaaaaaaaa hillarious.

have read a lot of different advice but all kind of point to one thing in particular, attitude man! seriously, chicks can smell insecurity from a mile away and id imagine it smells like drakar noir and garlic in a used diaper maybe? body language is huge, and also learing how to read a persons body language will help tremendously. is there eye contact? she touch you or laugh? play with her hair? like you say you think these chicks only want a platonic relationship, but how do you know? also, when you mean partner do you mean a friend with benefits a ltr what exactly? what activities are you into? im guessing you do drugs to an extent or else you wouldnt be on bl. for me drugs were my interest as i was getting into chicks so hey i ended up nailing a lot of women who were lol

seriously too work out, it will make you feel better, looking better is the side effect. plus having a six pack is nice sure, but honestly its more diet than getting crazy with a bosu ball. everyone has a six pack, some just have more adipose tissue over it haha.

 

[pasha]

Don't "fake it till you make it." There's a lot of good advice here but that just isn't one of them. Especially that you seem like a good guy with modest intentions looking for a girlfriend.

"No man... can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which one may be true."

Everyone has insecurities. The key is not to reveal them too early. Be the 'strong, silent type'. If you dump them all at once it repels the opposite sex. Get her to like you for your strengths, and once she does, she'll look past the insecurities which will eventually reveal themselves as the relationship progresses.

 

[Foreigner]

OP, are you looking for just sex or an LTR? If the latter, then I wouldn't look on campus. The beautiful people on campus are notoriously shallow, privileged, and non-committal, or at least that was my experience. If you live on campus then I would try taking the bus downtown or somewhere else in the city because that's where the "real" people will be, and they'll appreciate you more. I found campus was about mingling with the upper crust of society and with a few exceptions they're mostly incredibly boring and one-dimensional individuals. The people who live off campus and commute to school are a different crowd because they live in the real world.

Fortunately I realized this early on in university so later when the vapid whores on campus wouldn't give me the time of day, it didn't bother me so much. I'm considered attractive by most people I know but it's not so much your look that matters, it's the way you convey yourself. I had no interest in the campus parties and second rate intellectual masturbation so I didn't really fit in from day one, and thus there was no venue for me to convey anything. I just avoided it. What little I got involved in, I saw the most unattractive guys getting with girls. I guess when alcohol's involved, anything is possible.

If you aren't having success with dating then chances are you're approaching women that you're not really compatible with, and the right one will come along later. If you've already had two LTRs and a few hookups then at least you have past evidence that it's possible to do it again.

 

[Tristurbed]

Just speak to strangers. While you're waiting at the bus stop or while you're sitting in a train to work..

Doesn't always have to be girls, you can practice your SOCIAL skills on guys too. Expand your social circles

Don't force a conversation, that can be terribly annoying.