Have You Ever Been in an Affair?

[kytnism]

id never be in that sort of arrangement bear. sorry to give you a naive perspective; but its something id never even contemplate, let alone; act upon.

i dont damn anyone else for doing so, but have viewpoints and personal morals id never compromise. being unfaithful to the one i love, being one of them, not even for "just sex".

...kytnism...

 

[pofacedhoe]

I've been with married men before. It's fun at first but it never lasts because they want to have their cake and eat it too, not give up their marriage to be with you.

Married men come onto me often. It's kind of sick to see so many of them in heterosexual marriages yet lusting after a gay guy. I swear, that 1 in 10 statistic is vastly underestimating the situation.

there are more straight men with occasional gay tendencies than out gay men i would guess

 

[Mysterie]

i wouldn't want someone to have sex with my partner, so i wouldn't have sex with someone that is married, its bad karma imo

 

[Noodle]

this younger woman wanted me to come over while her husband ( whom she was no getting along with ) was out at work

not sure I would have done it, looking back on it

we exchanged numbers after chatting over some drinks, but neither of us had our phones

I think I found her number in the laundry weeks later.

 

[Bearlove]

id never be in that sort of arrangement bear. sorry to give you a naive perspective; but its something id never even contemplate, let alone; act upon.

i dont damn anyone else for doing so, but have viewpoints and personal morals id never compromise. being unfaithful to the one i love, being one of them, not even for "just sex".

...kytnism...

Nothing Naive about your perspective or reply (at all). I was just curious that IF you were in an open relationship you could have sex with another person that was 'cheating' on his / her partner? Would you care ? Why do we care? Should we care ? Why? (because somebody told you that this was right - that was wrong?).

Could I fall in love with a person outside of my relationship - yes I have done. Could I do it now - hand on heart = yes of course. Do I have the need / desire to do it now no not at all.

 

[MrSquizz]

Okay...just be careful. I had a very short-lived affair with a married man last year, it was wonderful while it lasted but I ended up getting really, really hurt. I'm glad it's going well for you but do be aware of the potential consequences please

Oh trust me, I'm fully aware of what could happen. I don't think you really understand the dynamic here though: We're more like "friends with benefits". I mean, I love her, but I'm not "in love" with her if that makes sense.

 

[MrSquizz]

Listen ... I'm not here to judge, and if the OP "doesn't feel bad about it for one second," then maybe what I've just said won't resonate. I just much prefer things to be totally above board now -- that's all I'm trying to say.

The only time I feel bad is when we're banging and she has her wedding ring on.

 

[MrSquizz]

So the moral of this story is: DON'T EVER GET MARRIED. "For better, for worse."

This could potentially happen to anyone who gets married. So unless you plan on starting a family, I would strongly advise AGAINST marriage. Marriages these days are designed to fail, that much, I think we can all agree on.

 

[rangrz]

Kinda?

Have hooked up a few times with people in a relationship, but I always thought it was kinda wack and bailed before anything really happened. Um, I suppose I was kind of in an "affair" with my best friend (now fiance) while she was in a quasi-relationship with some wack hipster, but it was not really an affair in so far as it was exactly that, a pseudo-relationship.

Over all, I've never found it appealing to be with someone who is not being open and honest in their communication with all of their partners. I've always stuck to being honest and asking all my partners how they feel about it and such and seeing if it can happen on the up on up, with good success. Woo polyamoury.

 

[MrSquizz]

Um, I suppose I was kind of in an "affair" with my best friend (now fiance) while she was in a quasi-relationship with some wack hipster, but it was not really an affair in so far as it was exactly that, a pseudo-relationship.

LOL@ "Whack hipster".

 

[Skydog Furious]

And God, I wish I could post pics

Why? I mean, I can see how that might soothe your bruised ego -- for a while? But what are you after, here, applause?

Every guy MELTS when they see her. It's so funny when I see these guys drooling all over her, and I have to sit there and pretend like I've never had sex with her.

Man, that situation would make me feel like the world's biggest loser. Like, this beautiful girl will have sex with me, but she's too embarrassed or ashamed to admit it to anyone.

Yeah, she's married. She's currently on a trip with her husband, and she didn't want to go! She wanted to stay here with me!

Then why didn't she? And how do you know for sure? Oh, she told you that? Yeah, I guess she would.

Congratulations ... you're gobbling up the same pathetic story told by everyone who's cheating on someone.

Furthermore, she's a fair bit older than me, but a perfect 10 none the less. Jet black hair, fake boobs, the works.

There are plenty of cougars in the jungle. If you're as attractive to them as you think you are, then why don't you find one who's proud of her catch? The woman you're currently with had to settle. She needed someone who'd be willing to sneak around, get treated like "just some random guy I know" most of the time, and put up with no sex when she's off with the guy who she's *actually* partnered with.

Good job on the fake boobs BTW. 8)

 

[kytnism]

Nothing Naive about your perspective or reply (at all). I was just curious that IF you were in an open relationship you could have sex with another person that was 'cheating' on his / her partner? Would you care ? Why do we care? Should we care ? Why? (because somebody told you that this was right - that was wrong?).

Could I fall in love with a person outside of my relationship - yes I have done. Could I do it now - hand on heart = yes of course. Do I have the need / desire to do it now no not at all.

could i have sex with another person that was cheating on his partner? no. it speaks in volumes about his level of commitment and moral compass in general. would i care? yes i would. interfering in anothers personal life is wrong. why do "we" care? because we should. i would never want to be an accessory to infidelity. should we care? yes we should. were human and adults and know right from wrong. engaging in an affair is morally wrong and you are an accessory to the pain and infidelity within a relationship/union. why? because we have self respect. enough to warrant accountability in the situation.

...kytnism...

 

[Pagey]

Oh trust me, I'm fully aware of what could happen. I don't think you really understand the dynamic here though: We're more like "friends with benefits". I mean, I love her, but I'm not "in love" with her if that makes sense.

Nah I get what you mean, trust me I definitely do...I'm just saying, keep an eye on your emotions.

 

[MrSquizz]

Why? I mean, I can see how that might soothe your bruised ego -- for a while? But what are you after, here, applause?

HAHAHA. Bro, you sound like someone who hasn't got laid in about 12 years. U MAD BRO? Not me. #WINNING.

 

[pofacedhoe]

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/698545-My-wife-cheated-on-me-with-my-best-friend

there is always some fallout

 

[augustaB]

I had an affair that lasted 14 years with another woman. I put my wife through hell. I too was unhappy most of the time. Being in love with two people is no fun.

 

[Lysis]

oh hay a thread on why women/men should not like their SO/spouse being "just friends" with the opposite sex.

 

[pofacedhoe]

I had an affair that lasted 14 years with another woman. I put my wife through hell. I too was unhappy most of the time. Being in love with two people is no fun.

awwwww


if you didn't enjoy it then why did it happen? i find that confusing, thats a long time to keep something going that wasn't fun

Marriages these days are designed to fail, that much, I think we can all agree on.

no

you get out of something what you put into it. there are lots of people with successful marriages

oh hay a thread on why women/men should not like their SO/spouse being "just friends" with the opposite sex.

yes- from what i have seen no-one needs a selection of friends that are all potential sexual partners

gay men included. its a nightmare. sheesh

 

[Bearlove]

could i have sex with another person that was cheating on his partner? no. it speaks in volumes about his level of commitment and moral compass in general. would i care? yes i would. interfering in anothers personal life is wrong. why do "we" care? because we should. i would never want to be an accessory to infidelity. should we care? yes we should. were human and adults and know right from wrong. engaging in an affair is morally wrong and you are an accessory to the pain and infidelity within a relationship/union. why? because we have self respect. enough to warrant accountability in the situation.

...kytnism...

So because somebody told you it was wrong then . If you hold yourself accountable for the situation, you are not being disrespectful to yourself?

I've had affairs, I've been in relationships when the other person has had an affair. I can sort of shrug it off

 

[verso]

I never thought I would but here I am. And you know what? I don't feel bad about it for one second. Anyone else been with a married man or woman?

Well she wasn't married, but engaged, and I didn't feel all that bad about it. I mean, he wasn't a bad guy or anything, but he just wasn't as interested in his fiancée as I was I guess lol And he must have thought that the ring around her finger would serve to ward off those ne'er-do-wells. Yeah, well, not so much.

If there's any saving grace, any redeeming quality at all -- and I'm not sure that there is -- well, I never fooled around with her in the bed she shared with him, never even under their roof, and, eventually, after a month or two, I very strongly suggested that she come clean with him and break it off; she did, and it was relatively painless.