• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Please can you help me improve my appearance?

S

SierraWalker7837

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 30, 2013
Messages
1
I hate being a Black girl. I have dark skin it is dark brown which is regarded as a masculine trait, broad/full features which are viewed as unfeminine and unattractive and coarse hair which is labeled as the worse kind of hair. I know that Black girls are deemed the least attractive and desirable race. People always say, “It is hard to find a pretty Black girl…she usually has to be mixed to be pretty”. If it were up to me I would rather be Mixed, White, Asian, Latina or Indian since they are usually prettier having light colored skin, nice delicate facial features and straight/curly hair that is more manageable and attractive. Yesterday I even gained confidence to ask out this guy I have a crush on (he is white). When I asked he just look at me disgusted and laughed then told me that “he doesn’t date Black girls”. So that was a fun experience. Most guys don’t date Black girls they usually say that they “have a different preference” instead they love be in relationships with light skinned women (Mixed, White, Asian, Latina, etc). I came to find that even a majority of Black men date/marry interracially where as Black women are usually with a Black guy or no guy. It is very rare in interracial relationships that the girl is Black so it is simple that not many guys want Black girls. Why? People say it is because Black girls don’t look feminine that they look like men. By the way when I say Black girls I am not referring to mixed Black girls. Anyway, being a Black female is a curse! I was bullied all through elementary, middle and high school because of my hair and looks. I developed depression and anxiety because of it all. I want to look as less Black as possible so I am planning to lighten my skin and get a weave. It is unfair I have to do all of this to look average while majority girls of other races are naturally pretty but you got to do what you got to do. I hoping that this transformation will not only make me look better but attract a guy my way. However, I only want to date non-Black men. When the time comes to have children I want a mixed baby girl so she will have a higher chance of looking pretty as opposed to being just Black. Plus if she is mixed she would not have to go through as much torture as I did growing up. So the first step to making this work is lightening my skin. Do you know any good skin lightening creams? Do you have any other ideas on how I can improve my appearance?
Thanks.
 
90% of what attracts me to a girl is her character, sense of humor, maturity, open-mindedness, intelligence, personality, etc. Your physical features will compliment your character. It might be hard to see that in yourself, but I think as you get older you'll realize more and more how your mind and body coexist in a symbiotic relationship. The most important thing you can do to make yourself more beautiful is find confidence in how you look and feel. Figure out what you like, develop your style, and embrace it.

I guarantee you that if you start working out, running, or getting active in some way (that you enjoy), even if you don't need to, you'll start feeling more confident and attractive. It's a proven science. Start walking every day for 20 minutes. In two weeks, start running or jogging 3x a week for 20-30 minutes. Start throwing in some crunches, ab exercises, dumbbell curls, etc. and you'll start to feel and look amazing. Try and get to a point where you're spending an hour every day exercising. It does take time though...you really need to have or develop a strong will to continue week-in and week-out, and in about 2 months, you'll start noticing results that will help fuel your ambition to keep going. I promise you this. If you're looking for a place to start, you can read about or youtube the sparticus workout that doesn't involve weights. If you have a pair of dumbbells with weights, that's all you need really.

And for the record, black chicks can be super hot, just like anyone else can. Light or dark skinned. I've seen bald-headed tribal african women that look great. It's all in how you carry yourself. Don't succumb to your doubts.
 
I don't have any answers to your questions about skin lightening creams or treatments but I just wanted to say that I am really sorry to hear that you had such a horrible time being bullied growing up, all because of your skin colour. That fucking breaks my heart. You were born that way and you can't change that, it's not your fault, and to be tormented in such a way is so cruel. Kids don't understand the power of their words though. I was bullied for years when I was a kid too and it's caused me massive problems in my adult life. Not for the same reason that you were but bullying is bullying. So, I can empathise with you a bit on that.

I also wanted to say that I personally find really dark-skinned women absolutely beautiful. Here in Sydney (Australia) we have large Sudanese and Ghanaian populations (and from other African countries) and whenever I see an African woman with skin as black as coal it almost makes me gasp because of how beautiful she is <3 I wish I could help you see that your skin colour is beautiful, but I understand the effect of years of bullying has had on you.

I would agree with patternagainst's suggestion of working out, it really builds your confidence a lot.

Be kind to yourself <3
 
Thoughts-

1.) You are probably gorgeous and everyone can see it but you. More than likely you were bullied b/c of this.

2.) The standards of beauty you mentioned only exist in the black community, whether you know it or not. Other races don't know enough about hair texture, skin darkness and all that "high yellow" stuff to be privileging one trait over another. Trust me on this.

3.) Girls of other races are just "naturally pretty?" Not to laugh but Lol. Very few are blessed to just roll out of bed and be fabulous. I'm guessing you're very young, and that's ok, just wish I could show you a pic of what those girls you think are so beautiful now are going to look like in 20 years. Character and smart choices count for a lot.

4.) There's plenty of resources on the internet for how to look fabulous but no matter how "pretty" you are you'll feel the same until you learn to love yourself.
 
Im white and most of my white friends fucking love black girls, you were just unlucky with the guy you asked out trust me!
 
90% of looking hot (at least to me) is the integration value for "swag+intelligence".

Have swag, show off your intelligence (you seem quite smart based on the short blurb you wrote.) maybe enhance it a bit with some further education (intelligence and education are different remember.) Not that you seem ignorant by any means from your writing style, just make it a continuous goal to always be learning...it will keep your mind sharp and it comes across in how you speak/act, and it makes your intelligence come across more...think of it like the way someone who works out on a regular basis always has those pumped up, full, toned muscles. Someone who works out their mind always has that quick wit and well worded replies to stuff.

Speaking of fitness...keep fit! It's not even about weight or stuff...it's also about how you move and hold yourself. Someone who is fit and exercises regularly has good posture, a bouncy, energetic gait, and graceful fluid movements. Does'nt have to be the gym. Go dancing, walk around instead of car or public transit, whateva.

I'm not even going to address the race issue here. I think it's such a crock of shit (that any race is more or less pretty than the others) that I'm simply going to write it off as patent non-sense and give you the same advice I'd give to an Asian man or a porcelain white, blonde girl. Cause tbh, it's the same basic things that make anyone hot.
 
Last edited:
Some of my prettiest friends are dark skinned black girls, although beauty knows no racial bounds.
 
humans are biased against darker skin colors

across almost all cultures, lighter skin tones are associated with cleanliness and purity

some of the most beautiful women have very dark skin imo

:)
 
it just kills me on the inside to see you treat yourself like this - over the color of your skin! be proud of your heritage and love yourself first, then you can start worrying about loving other people

I know black women usually think that the darker their skin color is = the uglier they are, but this is just not true. that is self-hate perpetuated to keep wonderful people like you submissive in life, chained to the cellar, never free from transcending yourself to the heights that you never thought you could have reached before
 
sounds like you live somewhere pretty racist

anyway dejavu- this exact same thread was up a month or two back
 
^So I'm not crazy? I thought it sounded familiar!
 
I read only the first part because that's all I needed to hear.

if you don't love yourself and aren't comfortable in your own skin, it radiates through in how you present yourself. Self-love and confidence my dear. It will come over time and it won't come instantly. You only have one body, one face, one life - love it :)
 
Tude said:
^So I'm not crazy? I thought it sounded familiar!
Click to expand...

its exactly the same distorted thinking and posting style and topic

when white people have this it gets called body dysmorphic

everyone isn't hot but most people accept their appearance unless they have been severely disfigured then thats a bit harder to deal with.

claire22 said:
I read only the first part because that's all I needed to hear.

if you don't love yourself and aren't comfortable in your own skin, it radiates through in how you present yourself. Self-love and confidence my dear. It will come over time and it won't come instantly. You only have one body, one face, one life - love it :)
Click to expand...

excellent advice
 
claire22 said:
I read only the first part because that's all I needed to hear.

if you don't love yourself and aren't comfortable in your own skin, it radiates through in how you present yourself. Self-love and confidence my dear. It will come over time and it won't come instantly. You only have one body, one face, one life - love it :)
Click to expand...

good advice
 
I don't see black/dark girls less attractive or more masculine. No way, but my personal preference is a girl that are happy with herself...
 
I'm siding with the OP here. In almost all cultures light skin, hair and eyes are seen as being superior, including among white people, where being a naturally blonde is a desirable trait. Here in the UK we have had two acid burn victims, the blonde katie piper, and a black woman. Katie piper went on to become a celeb, and now is pregnant. The black woman I dont even remember her name. This is just how it is, being blonde and white is very very desirable.

Unfortunately OP, there is nothing that can be done about this, all you can do is lower your standards and maybe think about dating or getting married for reasons outside of love, or lust. Also work on losing weight if you are on the chubby side. The figure you want is thin, but with butt and boobs. I agree you should go with a hair weave, but don't with skin lightening, its just too dangerous to contemplate. If I were you id rather be single than use skin lightening.

I'm Indian, and all my admirers have always been white men, but even having spoken to them in great detail many have said they don't like black girls and its usually to do with the texture of hair, and the extremely dark skin. I'm dark skinned (sort of like mahogany) but I have light brown eyes and straight hair and because of that I am borderline acceptable to the men I want to be with : whites. Also, I make sure I keep my figure in the top 1%, dress to accentuate what I have.

I'm also adamant that if I have kids it will be with a white man, so that my son/daughter doesnt have to deal with being dark skinned. It does suck.

I give this advice because I know what its like, and I dont want to sugar coat. Do what I have suggested and you will find that you'll get a man. I only very recently started my first relationship and it was with a sweet lovely guy, but one I wouldn't have gone for if i was lighter skinned and had more choices. I wish you all the best.
 
Last edited:
Related reading

The uncomfortable racial preferences revealed by online dating

ethnic-preferences2.png
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top