• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I just need to post Vs. wisdom, beauty, and baggage.. here hold this bag and ponder.

Status
Not open for further replies.
not sure how to help people who need it cause idk how to help myself when i'm in a bad place

so idk if this has ever been discussed but maybe there should be a tread about how to help someone feeling suicidal
 
caseface99 said:
^^ Not sure if you live near a "Safeway" grocery store, but they do a free first delivery. ;)


I'm fuckin' sick. I don't know with what but it almost feels like opiate withdrawal. I'm extremely sore, painful muscles/bones, chills randomly through my body, generally feeling rundown and no energy. This sucks. :\

Now my eye's are randomly watering! This is exactly like lightweight opiate withdrawal?!? I don't understand. I have been taking my subs..

I was nauseous last night as well, which got slightly better after eating an apple. Not terribly nauseous today, but I do have zero appetite. Haven't been able to eat anything yet today.
Click to expand...

Take care of yourself n maybe have something in place encase this triggers you. Do you have friends you can call? Sponsor? Could you go to a meeting?

Not trying to sound down on you it's just that another found times of flu / cold triggering.

We're here if you need to talk, ok?!

Evey xxx

PS: i went to a meeting today. Broke down n cried my eyes out over everything. They all think that I should be on more suboxone. I told them that I am still craving codeine n wanting stuff stronger, that I've been drinking alcohol, how I've been on so many forums had abuse, everything with a certain friend the past year it all came out.

What I expected to happen did not happen. I thought that they would shout at me, say my problems weren't as bad as mine etc but they truly cared. I told them how I'd been worried they'd take my daughter n they said that wouldn't happen as I am getting help n i have help.

Told them how I resented a friend because she's doing codeine. They had the same feelings. I know it's but these feelings are true anger n resentment that she is on codeine n I can't n I have true resentment for her over it. And I know those feelings are wrong.

I told them how I tried to please everyone even my key worker n one of the member aid they will talk to my key worker for me n suggest that I ask the doctor to give me more suboxone or move the date forward. I think my key worker will be annoyed because i said I'd reduce in December but seriously would it be wise if I'm wanting to do stronger drugs like heroin???
 
Stay focused Evey.
Im happy that you are attending the meetings and getting stuff out in the open..
The people there can be very understanding in these kinds of situations.

See how you go battling the subs for a while longer that you are currently on.
It's never an easy road, but you gotta stay committed and determined to kicking these substances.
Keeping your mind attached to stronger drugs like heroin is not going to help ya!
And i certainly hope you have the strength to stay away from that garbage!
<3
 
Happy Halloween everyone

Going out with my lil Spiderman tonight for trick or treating!!!=D Hmmm I still have no clue what I'm going to dress up as???
 
I bought the trick-or-treaters FULL SIZED CANDY BARS this year! I'm thinking I might have bought too few, but hopefully not. I have no idea how many of the kiddos go trick-or-treating in my apartment complex. We've gotten notices from property management about it and there seems to be quite a few munchkins running around so it might be a lot. I did buy a package of candy for when we run out of the bars and told my bf to pick up some more on his way home from work, so hopefully we have enough...
 
Full size!! Dayum! That's like that verizon commercial where the kids like house {number} is giving out full size candy bars we gotta add that to our route! LOL

:) I hope we get some kiddos this year, we didn't get even one last year! It's probably because our house is a bit hidden behind the two houses beside us... And probably because we have a long driveway and people are lazy :P.

Haven't carved my pumpkins yet. Gotta get to it and put them at the end of the driveway so the kiddos know we're there :P
 
Decorate where people can see so they know you're accepting trick-or-treaters!! If it's nice outside, I'd even consider just setting a couple of lawn chairs by the driveway and handing out candy there. I went to the grocery store to get pumpkins to carve (and more importantly roast the seeds to) a couple days ago and they were completely sold out. The ones we have found are ridiculously overpriced. I waited too long to get pumpkins this year. :(
 
tripnotyzm said:
Stay focused Evey.
Im happy that you are attending the meetings and getting stuff out in the open..
The people there can be very understanding in these kinds of situations.

See how you go battling the subs for a while longer that you are currently on.
It's never an easy road, but you gotta stay committed and determined to kicking these substances.
Keeping your mind attached to stronger drugs like heroin is not going to help ya!
And i certainly hope you have the strength to stay away from that garbage!
<3
Click to expand...

I went out-treatment today n asked to doc to ask if they can increase my suboxone but I doubt they will. To be honest I'm not sure they cared. A lady said if you're only craving n not using I doubt the doc will increase it. Everything is out of control: money, friendships, alcohol all of it.

I've decided im stopping the citralopram completely. I think it's made me worst over the past year. Last week i dropped from 40mg to 20mg n now I want off. Also i hate the idea that while I'm going through this people are just laughing n thinking it all a big joke :( i just wish I could wipe the past year away as it's been the worst year of my life n also I wish I'd never stopped codeine or ever known of it :(
 
Evel thing's don't change over night. Recovery is sometimes a long and difficult road, but no matter what it will never be as long and treacherous as active addiction! That's the only guarantee. I can't promise things will get better right away, but I can promise things will get different. And if you're using was unbearable, than isn't different almost definitely going to be better??

Don't worry too much about other people and what they think. Worry about taking care of yourself. You always have a say with what meds you take, if you want off some for whatever reason, tell your doctor and they HAVE to take you off of them. Do you see a private Dr, or a doctor through some sort of program? If it's through a program, and they won't raise your dose of suboxone, and you truly feel that you may relapse without it, I'd suggest seeing another Dr. Perhaps, a private one maybe? Some programs can be a pain in the ass. :\

Best of luck! Hang in there!! <3
 
I'm a mother with a son who is still pretty small, elementary school - and he craves being hugged, cuddled, held, etc... esp. before he can settle down at night. He likes me to scratch his back while he's going to sleep. His father was the same way, and his mother was around (more the smothering type) so, *shrug.* Who knows maybe it has nothing to do with moms could be just the way you're wired. We humans loved to be touched :)

*edit
^^
In reply to kinda way-oldish post. Still getting used to the site. Thx
 
Last edited:
caseface99 said:
Evel thing's don't change over night. Recovery is sometimes a long and difficult road, but no matter what it will never be as long and treacherous as active addiction! That's the only guarantee. I can't promise things will get better right away, but I can promise things will get different. And if you're using was unbearable, than isn't different almost definitely going to be better??

Don't worry too much about other people and what they think. Worry about taking care of yourself. You always have a say with what meds you take, if you want off some for whatever reason, tell your doctor and they HAVE to take you off of them. Do you see a private Dr, or a doctor through some sort of program? If it's through a program, and they won't raise your dose of suboxone, and you truly feel that you may relapse without it, I'd suggest seeing another Dr. Perhaps, a private one maybe? Some programs can be a pain in the ass. :\

Best of luck! Hang in there!! <3
Click to expand...

I've been relapsing all along on 8mg either with codeine or with alcohol. I can't do thus anymore. A friend once said i should be on more of it n I think she was right. I feel empty n still crave it n evenings are worst. It was so much easier on codeine because I wouldn't have to feel angry. I think the citralopram has really messed me up cause looking back that's when the self-destructive behaviour started. Before I only ever had thoughts but never really act on them.
And I come to this site n get judged for being on suboxone. It makes me feel like a stupid idiot. It's MY choice on how I want to recover. People should respect that instead of judging me n making me feel small. Maybe they'd prefer I was still in full blown addiction. I find it insulting n offensive when people belittle codeine addiction n sneer etc. codeine is often mixed with ibuprofen / paracetamol n excessive amounts of these can cause liver failure / kidney failure / stomach bleeding. Even with CWE it's not guaranteed to have all the para/ibo out - but an assumption. And at the point that I entered outpatient treatment my parents had cut off all my contacts to pure codeine (60mg tabs, cough syrup containing 600mg, etc) so i only had access to OTC n was taking up to 2 boxes (23 tabs of 12.8mg codeine / 200mg ibuprofen) a day. I wish these ppl would Do the maths then tell me if its so WRONG to put me on suboxone!
To be honest my heads mashed. Everyone keeps telling me what I should / should not be doing

When I cried at the meeting the other day they suggested that I ask to have my suboxone increased so I went n asked that but I'm frightened because now I bet they think I'm drug seeking n I'm not. The group at the meeting said I stop trying to please others n be honest with them. Arrgggg :(
Pretending all is ok is ever so much easier

PS: could I suggest that as a possible rule? To respect each other's method of recovery. Not trying to be rude or funny in any way but judging someone for being on suboxone could have dire consequences. For example, what if I stopped my suboxone medication as a result of that comment, relapsed n died through OD. It could happen n people are sensitive to others' opinions ESPECIALLY me.

Is it too much to ask that we all respect each pther's method of recovery n help the person through it without judgement n if anyone cannot do this, then simply step back from the situation. I've never been judged for being on suboxone for codeine addiction until I came here. Most were respectful of it or kept their comments to them self xxx
 
Last edited:
Eveleivibe said:
PS: could I suggest that as a possible rule? To respect each other's method of recovery. Not trying to be rude or funny in any way but judging someone for being on suboxone could have dire consequences. For example, what if I stopped my suboxone medication as a result of that comment, relapsed n died through OD. It could happen n people are sensitive to others' opinions ESPECIALLY me.

Is it too much to ask that we all respect each pther's method of recovery n help the person through it without judgement n if anyone cannot do this, then simply step back from the situation. I've never been judged for being on suboxone for codeine addiction until I came here. Most were respectful of it or kept their comments to them self xxx
Click to expand...

When somebody creates a thread, for example, about quitting and switching to suboxone, responses to the original poster suggesting an amount may be too little or too much can be very helpful. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. Of course the OPs treatment plan should be respected, and not harassed, but we don't moderate opinions unless they are against our BLUA or forum guidelines.
 
“This goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top