• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

OctSOBER - Getting/Staying Clean Thread

Status
Not open for further replies.
Good... I'm proud of you <3 Cravings are the worst... You're strong, I knew you'd pull through <3 :)
 
Day 69. So the cravings completely went away when I was out and about last night despite being offered drinks multiple times and being in an incredibly debaucherous environment. Seeing people in that state of mind just makes me realize that I don't want to go there.
 
Hard day for me but I did great an I hope you all did as well<3

668705493_127359.gif
 
Day 167.

Stressing hard over studying for my placement exam. I'm using the website KhanAcademy to review/relearn all the math from High School, it's a great website but earlier today I calculated how long it will take to work my up to (not including) pre calculus, and if I spend on average just 30 mins per topic, I have to study for approx. 8 hours/day. I really wish I hadn't calculated this... I'm going to be working my ASS off for the next week and a half. I really hope I test into college level math.
 
Day one again. I just wish I'd never relapsed, especially cuz it was a pretty hardcore relapse this time around and I went completely back to my old ways. It was only a few weeks, but I'm still miserable and in full withdrawal. At least if it was summer I could be out in the sun, but it's raining and cold and making everything suck even more.

Also managed to destroy every ounce of progress I had made and push away all my new sober friends and everything.

So yeah... addiction sucks. I think the most important thing to keep in mind here is that I don't have it all figured out, even when I think I do. And that going back to using does NOT make your problems go away, it only compounds them.

For now though I just need to focus on making it through the physical withdrawals... alll over again. fuck.
 
Lustmord said:
Giggidy giggidy. Aaaaaalright!
Click to expand...

bahaha ;) I was going to say it was a sexy Day 69 ;)

caseface99 said:
Day 167.

Stressing hard over studying for my placement exam. I'm using the website KhanAcademy to review/relearn all the math from High School, it's a great website but earlier today I calculated how long it will take to work my up to (not including) pre calculus, and if I spend on average just 30 mins per topic, I have to study for approx. 8 hours/day. I really wish I hadn't calculated this... I'm going to be working my ASS off for the next week and a half. I really hope I test into college level math.
Click to expand...

Calculating things sometimes ruins the mood. Just study for the moment, who knows how long it'll take you but the less you think about the time the better.

And major kudos on 167 days you've surpassed me by almost 100 days! Rockstar man ;) <3

xburtonchic said:
Day one again. I just wish I'd never relapsed, especially cuz it was a pretty hardcore relapse this time around and I went completely back to my old ways. It was only a few weeks, but I'm still miserable and in full withdrawal. At least if it was summer I could be out in the sun, but it's raining and cold and making everything suck even more.

Also managed to destroy every ounce of progress I had made and push away all my new sober friends and everything.

So yeah... addiction sucks. I think the most important thing to keep in mind here is that I don't have it all figured out, even when I think I do. And that going back to using does NOT make your problems go away, it only compounds them.

For now though I just need to focus on making it through the physical withdrawals... alll over again. fuck.
Click to expand...

Everyone has a day one. It's the most important day. Just focus on being sober for today, just for today. Cliche as it sounds and is, it's just how we make it through that one day ;) <3. You just need one day under your belt to be successful. Just do it for today, love!

Lets end this month with at least a day. TODAY! <3
 
stardust.hero said:
Everyone has a day one. It's the most important day. Just focus on being sober for today, just for today. Cliche as it sounds and is, it's just how we make it through that one day ;) <3. You just need one day under your belt to be successful. Just do it for today, love!

Lets end this month with at least a day. TODAY! <3
Click to expand...

crazyrunninggirl.today_.jpg


Made it past a temptation-filled weekend, friends. I still think God's helping me out. Otherwise it's just great coincidence...

Day 72
 
Thanks everyone :D I love you guys, everyone here is so... non-judgemental and caring and nice. I'm positive you can't find that like literally anywhere else.

I'll have two days (technically) in about 6 hours, but I'm just counting today as my full day two. Feeling a lot better about everything today, mentally. The physical stuff is worse but luckily I have a small amount of Suboxone left to hold off the worst of it.

I'm also thinking I'm going to go on the Vivitrol shot this time around once I have enough days under my belt to get it. I don't want to keep binging and then kicking and enjoying being clean and then repeating the cycle all over again. This is my second time doing a real kick since July and it's exhausting. I'm over it. And when I'm actively using, I've found out there is no happy medium for me. Just like with everything else it's all or nothing with me. Only difference is that with heroin, when you give it your all you get nothing.

I'm tired of killing my own spirit, it's not worth it. I'm much happier off that shit, PAWS included. <3
 
Just A Guy said:
crazyrunninggirl.today_.jpg


Made it past a temptation-filled weekend, friends. I still think God's helping me out. Otherwise it's just great coincidence...

Day 72
Click to expand...

Awesome quote, love that one <3.

Congrats man, we're like running this race side by side to the finish line it feels like, you're always 2 days ahead of me. Congrats on soldering through this weekend!

xburtonchic said:
Thanks everyone :D I love you guys, everyone here is so... non-judgemental and caring and nice. I'm positive you can't find that like literally anywhere else.

I'll have two days (technically) in about 6 hours, but I'm just counting today as my full day two. Feeling a lot better about everything today, mentally. The physical stuff is worse but luckily I have a small amount of Suboxone left to hold off the worst of it.

I'm also thinking I'm going to go on the Vivitrol shot this time around once I have enough days under my belt to get it. I don't want to keep binging and then kicking and enjoying being clean and then repeating the cycle all over again. This is my second time doing a real kick since July and it's exhausting. I'm over it. And when I'm actively using, I've found out there is no happy medium for me. Just like with everything else it's all or nothing with me. Only difference is that with heroin, when you give it your all you get nothing.

I'm tired of killing my own spirit, it's not worth it. I'm much happier off that shit, PAWS included. <3
Click to expand...

Heck yeah girl!!! One day down, seriously important stuff. Day two and you're golden, keep it up <3! Count it Day 2! You're not going to fail today, so just count it and celebrate =D!

And remember that: I'm tired of killing my own spirit, it's not worth it. I'm much happier off that shit, PAWS included. <3

burt, end this month with a good number, you definitely want to go into November with some good feels ;) <3.

Day 70 for me =D That number feels awesome! Love rounded numbers!

Keep it up guys!

Chair Dance
_chairdance__by_Link3Kokiri.gif
 
lol well I meant that in a few hours I'll have a full 48 hours, and then the third "day" actually starts... but since the day before yesterday is the last time I used, I will count today as day 2 ;D it motivates me more somehow to think about it that way!

I will def make it through today though. I'm re-reading some of the threads in here, the "good things about being sober" thread has always helped me tons... and talking to you guys in here helps a lot too... and I'm reading a lot of other stuff about addiction and stuff cuz understanding things better is always helpful in getting through it.

I'm actually kind of glad this happened again, because when I think about it I learned A LOT of valuable lessons about what it takes to make it through life without using heroin to cope, things I need to change about myself and my habits, etc. I underestimated the power of addiction and got overconfident, I'm going to be more humble from now on. I am a heroin addict, I always will be. I can't use it recreationally, ever. I really was half-assing things toward the end there, I can't do that anymore either. I'm going to continue to be selfish and take care of myself for the next couple of days, until I have a bit more energy, but after that things will be changing. Major, major changes. Like getting my ass out there and finding a damn job no matter how shitty or unconfident about it I feel, and getting things in line to go back to school next semester, and not focusing so much energy on making other people happy or making them accept/like me and using that energy towards loving and accepting myself more instead, and seeing a counselor/addiction specialist/my primary doctor... just everything I was putting off doing before. I'm going to actually do it. I think my complacency played a big role in this relapse. The more responsibilities I have, the less time I'll have to think about my problems and relapse and the more I'll have to lose if I do.

And yeah... despite how horrible I feel, I'm feeling pretty positive about the outcome. I can make it through acute withdrawals, I know I can cuz I've done it before... not too long ago actually ;)

thank you so much for your words, stardust. also congrats on day 70!! (and day 72 Just A Guy) just over two months, that's an amazing accomplishment. you guys should be really proud of yourself <3
 
after over four months sober i had a weeks relapse on booze (for complicated reasons), but i've been 6 days sober again....
it's an every day battle
good luck to you all

the worst is parties, even small ones, i need more sober friends
oh and my GF has committed to getting sober today YAAAAAAY it's gonna be fucking tough but i'm gonna be there for her every step of the way <3
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top