Please help 'person-B' solve this problem

[Mariposa]

Avocado and cheese sandwiches, cuddles, good conversation... awesome. Seems as though you might have had more feelings for your partner than you realize! I'm glad to read that your interaction is going well.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hey, I am wondering if anyone can help me with new issues with this relationship. So Person-B had planned to go away in mid-December, all of January, and planned to enter into the "engineers without borders" program at the end of this year when he graduates. Person-A is now being very persistent in telling person-B he has to now either commit to either being in a serious relationship, in the sense that she is telling person-B that if he wants to keep seeng person-A then he has to change his plans for travelling and to stay with person-A. I worried that this may happen. Person-A is getting waaaay to attached to person-B.

So the question is: should person-B continue with this relationship, knowing that he is going to still go on his nomadic adventure, by remaining committed to person-A, until person-B needs to leave? This will mean person-A gets more attached and may have to deal a broken heart when person-B leaves. Person-B is better at dealing with his emotions than person-A. Plus person-A is very moody right now because she has used the "morning after pill" twice in as many weeks. Person-A is hormonal and is over reacting massively to nearly everything person-B says to her. Person-B was so tired he slept until 4pm today, he had been studying all night Thursday and had no sleep. Person-A, thinking that person-B was ignoring her and the 13 messages she had sent to person-B while he was sleeping, has unfriended person-B on facebook and has expressed dissatisfaction with the way that person-B is able to not get too upset by the thought of saying goodbye, when the time comes. Person-A seems to be encroaching into person-B's approach to life, to the point that person-A seems to want to change person-B to be more like her. Person-B wants to be himself and not change just because another person he cares for deeply is asking him to do so.

Person-B is confused again. What would you do? Do you think person-B should end the relationship to avoid any further hurting? Person-B concedes that it may be better on person-A to let her go now, rather than her getting even more attached. The persons only met about 3 weeks ago, and this relationship has developed very quickly, almost way to quickly?

Does anyone have any advice for me with getting close to girls; I want to have relationships with girls, without hurting them, but so that I can keep true to myself in the sense that I will continue with my plan to help the world and fulfil my dreams of travelling and working, rather than being tied down?

 

[T. Calderone]

In the future, you need to be more clear with your partner what exactly it is you want from a relationship. You started off with this girl trying to keep it casual but seemed to get a bit too comfortable with the cooking, cuddling, hubby and wifey stuff. Which is fine for you, but for her sent a mixed message. You didn't mention how long exactly have you been seeing her? And why you two don't use birth-control? You should end it now before she gets any more attached.

 

[llama112]

So you're going away for like a month and a half? She'll have to deal.

She also shouldn't be trying to make you change. She also seems emotional.

Not all girls are like that.

 

[Mariposa]

In the future, you need to be more clear with your partner what exactly it is you want from a relationship. You started off with this girl trying to keep it casual but seemed to get a bit too comfortable with the cooking, cuddling, hubby and wifey stuff. Which is fine for you, but for her sent a mixed message. You didn't mention how long exactly have you been seeing her? And why you two don't use birth-control? You should end it now before she gets any more attached.

EXCELLENT point on the birth control.

Taking Plan B twice in the span of 3 weeks with a very new partner indicates, at minimum, that safety concerns are being neglected. People need to communicate with their partners about safer sex and contraception before the clothes come off.

 

[Jabberwocky]

In the future, you need to be more clear with your partner what exactly it is you want from a relationship. You started off with this girl trying to keep it casual but seemed to get a bit too comfortable with the cooking, cuddling, hubby and wifey stuff. Which is fine for you, but for her sent a mixed message. You didn't mention how long exactly have you been seeing her? And why you two don't use birth-control? You should end it now before she gets any more attached.

We have been seeing each other for three and a half weeks. She has gone on the pill now, but before that we used dommies a few times. A few times we didn't.

Yeah, I'm trying to ignore her at the moment. I told her it was probs best if we didn't see each other, but I keep getting "my bed is so lonely" kind of messages.

Not all girls are like that.

Awesome, I certainly hope so.

EXCELLENT point on the birth control.

Taking Plan B twice in the span of 3 weeks with a very new partner indicates, at minimum, that safety concerns are being neglected. People need to communicate with their partners about safer sex and contraception before the clothes come off.

Safety concerns were neglected on numerous occasions. Guilty as charged, sorry. She has gone on the pill permanently now

 

[Jabberwocky]

An update on persons A and B. We are now an item. She is an amazing person and supportive, and I think I need someone like that in my life. So after meeting up today for coffee, we decided to be bf and gf. It's quite funny, I had not planned on getting into a relationship, but love makes us do irrational things... I do think I am falling in love with person A, as manipulative and cheeky as she is (actually we both are, so that's something we have in common )

Anyway, it's nice to be in a 'proper relationship' after years of playing the field, friends with benefits, and one night stands. I now have something permanent, and I am very happy because of that :D