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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The EADD Mental Health Support Thread

Thanks guys im feeling much better today, eated a lot and got sum sleep, man im not doing that crazy mix again for sure.. Was feeling fuckni weird, really fucked up feeling like my system was not having good at all.
 
Pagey said:
It's been about 20 days with just a couple xanax since but my brain feels like it's just completely melted. I'm sleeping a maximum of about 2 hours a night, getting vivid hallucinations whenever I'm tired (which is pretty much always now), brain zaps, panic attacks, big mood swings, aching and nerve pain everywhere and just general emptiness/depression. Also, what's probably the most annoying thing is it feels like I've just suddenly become stupid. It's like my brain doesn't make connections anymore and I'm just slow.
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Your brain want some peace to heal himself, he dont want your attention and sulk, in the same way you dont have the mood to talk to peoples.
Leave your brain alone, focus on your body, try to considere yourself as a physical person :
walking, running, little sport, cleaning appartment, bath, etc ...
you'll be tired, better for sleep and eat.
 
marmalade can u contact me on pm? can't contact u on pm. just curious of you being danish too ;)
 
Nicklazz said:
Thanks guys im feeling much better today, eated a lot and got sum sleep, man im not doing that crazy mix again for sure.. Was feeling fuckni weird, really fucked up feeling like my system was not having good at all.
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Glad you're ok Nick. Take it easy man. Buy your mum something nice.
 
I'm usually almost asymptomatic these days, I still have a few minor episodes (often hypomanic for a week or two) but my opiate addiction has skyrocketed recently and I am tempted to attribute my use to my mental state. The last year has been hell-ish, I've been homeless on 5 separate occasions, I have lived in 8 different places and as a result my A-Level results were massively affected - I hadn't slept for a week before my final Chemistry exam and was living on a park bench so the D was rather unsurprising. Now I'm trying to kick the opiates, the dosages have typically been 60mg of morphine a day or an equivalent dose of another opiate, but the last 2 months has seen my use jump to 1.2g of codeine in the morning, 250mg of Tramadol throughout the day and 80mg of Morphine in the evening. This kick is messing me up mentally far more than any other kick I've done - my anxiety is through the roof to the point I have upwards of six panic attacks a day, the feelings of worthlessness and suicidality keep rearing their ugly heads and the longer I go without sleep the more deranged I get. It seems I am stuck; remain an addict and keep it together until I get 2 weeks off University for Christmas and kick then, or kick now and be in no fit shape to attend University, which is quite possibly the best opportunity I shall ever have.
 
I'm not exactly one to talk, but is tapering an option? If not, what about cutting out the middle of the day tramadol dose as a first step? You'll feel it, but it shouldn't be so bad that you can't attend uni.
 
Pagey said:
Honestly I want to say a relative consolation is if you were gonna OD, you'd probably already have by now. How long ago dyou take all this stuff? Is an ambulance coming?
Seems normal you can't think properly and look off but if you can type that's already a (very) good sign.
Oh yeah and stay on your side.

---------------------

Was hoping I might be able to get some guidance...
So I've just recently quit 4 different classes of drugs CT at once - an irregular but massive xanax habit, very regular 4-FA/cocaine, very regular numerous RC psychs, and the occasional heroin relapse. It's been about 20 days with just a couple xanax since but my brain feels like it's just completely melted. I'm sleeping a maximum of about 2 hours a night, getting vivid hallucinations whenever I'm tired (which is pretty much always now), brain zaps, panic attacks, big mood swings, aching and nerve pain everywhere and just general emptiness/depression. Also, what's probably the most annoying thing is it feels like I've just suddenly become stupid. It's like my brain doesn't make connections anymore and I'm just slow. I know this is a perfectly normal reaction to gaba W/Ds and apparently dopamine depletion as well, but it's driving me insane. And obviously huge cravings for basically all of those on top of the physical stuff.
I'm not going to relapse because I really need this break from drugs, and I know these symptoms are normal, but fuck it's really taking a toll on me. I feel better in the sense I know I'm doing the right thing here and it'll pay off in the end but feels like torture in the meantime. I wish I could at least sleep.
Best part about all this is although the main motivation for me to get clean was to be a better person to everyone in my life, I don't have the patience to deal with anyone at all these days and I'm struggling to have nice conversations.
Anyway have no idea what I'm actually asking for but I needed to rant somewhere. Quitting heroin on its own was horrible enough, but with 3 other drugs on top of it it's just...ugh. So I thought this would be a good place to vent at 4:17am when I gotta be up at 8 :(

Much love to everyone on here <3
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wow, you are taking a massively challenging and difficult step. Your post was very coherent and nothing stupid whatsoever. Apparently 'you think how you feel' so if you can try to eat as much nutritous food as possible and get some exercsise it really does help your wellbeing and recovery. Its an endurance battle, eventually your mental and physical health will bounce back, you have to endure shit for a few weeks. If your mood isnt recovering within that kind of time frame id get on some anti depressants to get you out of any black hole you might be in.
 
Dr Mamba said:
Your brain want some peace to heal himself, he dont want your attention and sulk, in the same way you dont have the mood to talk to peoples.
Leave your brain alone, focus on your body, try to considere yourself as a physical person :
walking, running, little sport, cleaning appartment, bath, etc ...
you'll be tired, better for sleep and eat.
Click to expand...

This, 20 days aint too long term in things with benzos. Start doing some exercise and that'll improve your sleep, maybe a little melatonin, it'll all pass just stick it out and understand it's all normal. Bitta weed too is always nice! Benzos WDs are a weird one, affected me and mates in various different ways although it was different benzos.
 
Thanks very much for the answers.

Dr Mamba said:
Your brain want some peace to heal himself, he dont want your attention and sulk, in the same way you dont have the mood to talk to peoples.
Leave your brain alone, focus on your body, try to considere yourself as a physical person :
walking, running, little sport, cleaning appartment, bath, etc ...
you'll be tired, better for sleep and eat.
Click to expand...

Yeah that's a good point...been trying to take care of myself physically but truth be told I'm having a lot of trouble because I'm finding it virtually impossible to sleep and I don't have much money at all right now so eating well's a bit tough. But I am trying to do lots of walking and generally be more active/go out in the sun more, that kinda stuff.
Nice to see another French person on here, where are you from?

mydrugbuddy said:
wow, you are taking a massively challenging and difficult step. Your post was very coherent and nothing stupid whatsoever. Apparently 'you think how you feel' so if you can try to eat as much nutritous food as possible and get some exercsise it really does help your wellbeing and recovery. Its an endurance battle, eventually your mental and physical health will bounce back, you have to endure shit for a few weeks. If your mood isnt recovering within that kind of time frame id get on some anti depressants to get you out of any black hole you might be in.
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Thanks MDB - yeah I guess I just have to keep in mind it will get better eventually, it's a bit scary feeling like I've really fucked my brain/body up and this is how it's going to be from now on but I guess that's a bit stupid...

xTalK said:
This, 20 days aint too long term in things with benzos. Start doing some exercise and that'll improve your sleep, maybe a little melatonin, it'll all pass just stick it out and understand it's all normal. Bitta weed too is always nice! Benzos WDs are a weird one, affected me and mates in various different ways although it was different benzos.
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Yeah you're right. Okay with those 3 posts I'm convinced on the exercise front, will go for a run tomorrow - it's true it can only help for sleep.

Anyway came this close to a heroin relapse earlier today because although the physical stuff is improving little by little, the depression is just getting worse by the hour and I'm feeling very bleak about this whole sober thing now. Xanax WDs are bringing out my PTSD x1000 which I'm really not handling well...bleh. Sorry for the whining. Thanks again for the help.
 
I have to see the City Drug Service Psychiatrist on the 21st for a " Mental Health Medical"

The guy is a dick imo n we don't get on at all . He doesn't like Drug Users that have any intellect it makes him insecure . He wrote a book with ProFF. Nutt about Anxiety strategies n regularly get's stuff in Print .

Thing is i don't respect him one bit . Last time i saw him he basically said

"Drug Addicts Are Weak People " I couldn't fukin believe it .

This is the guy in charge ffs .

Will update when i have had appt. In the mean time i have DLA forms that need renewing , they aren't as hard as the ESA ones not at all but they are still well it's not nice
 
brimz said:
I have to see the City Drug Service Psychiatrist on the 21st for a " Mental Health Medical"

The guy is a dick imo n we don't get on at all . He doesn't like Drug Users that have any intellect it makes him insecure . He wrote a book with ProFF. Nutt about Anxiety strategies n regularly get's stuff in Print .

Thing is i don't respect him one bit . Last time i saw him he basically said

"Drug Addicts Are Weak People " I couldn't fukin believe it .

This is the guy in charge ffs .

Will update when i have had appt. In the mean time i have DLA forms that need renewing , they aren't as hard as the ESA ones not at all but they are still well it's not nice
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Sounds like a proper dick. Best of luck. :\

Don't defer to the fucker - just fight him with your intelligence. I'm sure you'll get him on the back foot. Just be yourself.

At least I have a diagnosis that basically justifies my drug use, for what that's worth. I can escape such bullshit, thankfully. But then again I'm not receiving drug treatment. It might be entirely different then.
 
Yeah he is but thems the breaks .

My Gp is the opposite n gives extra time to intellect .

When this prick finds out i'm on a Oxy script he is gonna fuking wet himself LOL!!!
 
brimz said:
When this prick finds out i'm on a Oxy script he is gonna fuking wet himself LOL!!!
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I'll bet he will! Let me know how that goes down, yeah? :D

My GP is fucking excellent - he barely looked at my tracks today when he was taking blood. Just found a vein I hadn't abused and did the necessary. Really good bloke. Young too, but not one of the new school of dictator-docs. Though I don't fancy my chances of an oxy script anytime soon.
 
Sammy G said:
I'll bet he will! Let me know how that goes down, yeah? :D

My GP is fucking excellent - he barely looked at my tracks today when he was taking blood. Just found a vein I hadn't abused and did the necessary. Really good bloke. Young too, but not one of the new school of dictator-docs. Though I don't fancy my chances of an oxy script anytime soon.
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It's strange cos no one has asked me why i got my Oxy script ?

I am a bit put out about this TBH .

For a start i must have been in a fuk load of pain ( I was n still am ) n none asked ?

Given what some folk get there nickers in a twist about ffs this isa major not a fukin teenage growing pain
 
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brimz said:
I have to see the City Drug Service Psychiatrist on the 21st for a " Mental Health Medical"

The guy is a dick imo n we don't get on at all . He doesn't like Drug Users that have any intellect it makes him insecure . He wrote a book with ProFF. Nutt about Anxiety strategies n regularly get's stuff in Print .

Thing is i don't respect him one bit . Last time i saw him he basically said

"Drug Addicts Are Weak People " I couldn't fukin believe it .

This is the guy in charge ffs .

Will update when i have had appt. In the mean time i have DLA forms that need renewing , they aren't as hard as the ESA ones not at all but they are still well it's not nice
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thats really bad if you dont get on with him, it could affect your diagnosis, you could look to him like you have anti social personality disorder or something when that is not the case. If you get on with someone you're gonna appear friendlier and more together, if you dislike someone then they are only gonna get to see your negative side. Its a shitter that one brimz. Cant you ask to see someone else ?

Ive had a doctor tell me i might have aspergers cos i couldnt be bothered with the pleasantries when meeting one more anonymous guy with a tie who i was never gonna see again. I dont have fuckin aspergers i just couldnt be bothered.
 
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