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Am I wrong to feel like my husband is cheating on me when he watches porn?

he should have watched it with you thats what i did with all my gfs so like 40 girls have watched porn with me and 25 had sex while we were watching porn it's not cheating but the secrecy is like a lie he should have been open with you
 
If your sex life had diminished as a result of his porn watching then I'd say you should be upset. However, if that isn't the case then maybe you should learn to make peace with it. You might want to get into a little porn yourself.
 
No if thats how it makes you feel he should of been more respectful of your feelings.Sounds like he is pretty selfish. Makes you wonder what else he is hiding right?
 
Don't take this the wrong way because I don't know you or what kind of relationship you have with your husband. I pass no judgment or disrespect with what I am going to say here.

Maybe he is tired of asking for sex and uses porn so he isn't constantly bothering you and making you aggravated and avoiding an argument because he is horny and just wants to have a quickie to release some tension from a shitty day at work. When getting turned down for sex the majority of the time it is easier to just take care of yourself and wait on the other spouse to make the sexual advances.
But like others mentioned if it is hindering the sex between you too then there might be reason to be upset. But that is gonna be hard to judge.
 
I've been in a relationship where my significant other and I had a had a great sex life, very compatible. We did it multiple times a day.
I still found myself watching porn, regardless. Self pleasure is a different kind of experience, in my opinion, it has some aspects to it that sex doesn't. I'm a loner by nature, so the concept of it being just me and no one else is something that isn't present in intercourse.

I did tell my girlfriend at the time about it, but to be fair she masturbated a lot too. Quite a bit in fact, I'd have felt insecure about my performance had I not known she was a chronic masturbator with her previous ex as well.

Your husband is definitely not cheating, the real issue here is the lack of openness. But he very well may not be telling you simply because he's worried that you'd react the way you did. Being ok with it is the best thing to do, it's not like you'd be able to force him to stop. You're not with him every second of the day, and no one wants a wife that is controlling anyways.

Try not to let it get to you, I was very sexually attracted to my ex and I still jacked off a lot.
And in response to your concluding question, I personally wouldn't. Valium is great and well, but it's best to learn how to deal with your feelings the right way and not just mask it with a chemical that's being supplied by those monsters in white lab jackets. Don't get me wrong, I love Valium, but it's a shitty way to deal with problems.
 
LuGoJ said:
He probably wanted to shield your delicate eyes from gaping assholes, cumfarts and gagging blowjobs.
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Love it when something makes me lol off the interwebz. Pretty rare for me.

Damn near every man on this planet wanks it to porn once in a while. Give him some space and realize this...it comes off as very needy when you say that he cant even touch his own cock.
 
You're husband is completely normal for using porn. It would actually be weird in my opinion if he didn't watch porn or AT LEAST wank. Would you have a problem with him just wanking without porn? If he's doing that than trust me he's not thinking about you while he's doing it anyway. Porn or masturbation is just a simple release, it makes him feel more relaxed. Leave him to it! It's either that or satisfy him sexually every single time he wants it, I'm sure you would prefer the porn ;)
 
RAZEONE said:
You're husband is completely normal for using porn.
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disagreed. common is not the same as normal. as far as the brain and evolution is concerned, there is nothing normal about porn.

to OP,

your feelings are never "wrong." they just are. this is a touchy subject for most men because they are addicted to porn and simultaneously feel like their usage of it is justified through society. the average man has been using porn for so long that he has no conception of what a non-porn perception is.

so bringing this up with him is going to seem like a threat. "whaddya mean? it's just porn."
 
ilikestims said:
disagreed. common is not the same as normal. as far as the brain and evolution is concerned, there is nothing normal about porn.

to OP,

your feelings are never "wrong." they just are. this is a touchy subject for most men because they are addicted to porn and simultaneously feel like their usage of it is justified through society. the average man has been using porn for so long that he has no conception of what a non-porn perception is.

so bringing this up with him is going to seem like a threat. "whaddya mean? it's just porn."
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For the record, I rarely watch porn.

I understand what you're saying and porn can be damaging, but in moderation it is not a problem. The desire to watch porn is completely normal. Humans trying to create sexual stimulus is not a new thing but unfortunately it's just naturally become so diverse and extreme.

Here is a good video on how porn is changing society: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

Lots of things in modern society aren't natural as far as the brain and evolution are concerned. There's not a lot you can do about it I'm afraid.

The majority of men watch porn and for the majority of them it's not causing a problem in their or their partners lives.
 
To him the enjoyment of watching porn = it doesn't involve you (at that time). Even if you were both to watch porn together, he will still watch it alone. It's not about cheating or wanting another partner but (for a lot of people) pure fantasy - self stimulation etc.
 
RAZEONE said:
For the record, I rarely watch porn.

I understand what you're saying and porn can be damaging, but in moderation it is not a problem. The desire to watch porn is completely normal. Humans trying to create sexual stimulus is not a new thing but unfortunately it's just naturally become so diverse and extreme.

Here is a good video on how porn is changing society: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

Lots of things in modern society aren't natural as far as the brain and evolution are concerned. There's not a lot you can do about it I'm afraid.

The majority of men watch porn and for the majority of them it's not causing a problem in their or their partners lives.
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i am well versed with gary wilson and marnia robinson. since you're citing that talk as a source (and i would agree it's a great source), then you will likely be interested in knowing that they say it is a problem in "moderation."

not everything should be used in "moderation." everything in moderation, including moderation. sometimes you need absolutely 0 of something in order to be healthful.
 
I understand the feeling of infedility considering he's been keeping it a secret from you, but it really is essential to remember that watching porn is an incredibly detached act. It doesnt' say anything about you or his feelings.
Do you know why he might be watching so much of it? Maybe you should reconsider your sex life? (Not making any judgements, just throwing ideas out)

If it bothers you that much I'd speculate it's probably a big self-confidence issue on your part, in which case I'd urge you to try and address that first and foremost. Good luck, hope things get better <3
 
Get on a porn site and watch some videos! Just watch and see what you like. I find people's porn selections and categories to reveal a lot about them, maybe it's an aspect of you you haven't explored. You could also learn a thing or two about your boyfriend's personality.

What bugs me though is when males pattern all their sex norms around porn. Too much porn can cause that!
 
every girlfriend i've had that watched porn with me made me either want to watch it by my self because they would be jealous of how pretty the actresses were or make me only want to watch it with them because they wanted to please me more than the actress did the actor in the video it has nothing to do with cheating i've cheated on most of my gfs and was due to me being bored of having sex with one person all the time and probably the bigger reason is i love the rush of meeting a woman i don't know who doesn't know me and all we need each other for is sex usually when it's done they want to chill or at least know my name so i say i have to leave and or give them a fake name that's my sex life though whether or not i'm in a relationship i'm a bit of a sex addict i suppose but there's a girl i really love that is my best friend right now and if she were to agree to be my girlfriend i wouldn't cheat on her which means i will be watching porn with or without her
 
Looking at porn is not cheating at all. The male and female brains work very differently and on the whole men can separate their fantasies in porn and the lives they live with their partner very clearly. One is just a simple masturbation aid, the other is a meaningful and hopefully loving relationship. Women on the other hand tend to assume some sort of emotional content is being invested in the watching of porn....'he only likes younger girls than me', 'those girls have bigger tits than me', 'they're doing stuff with him I won't' and all that sort of thing. Most of the time this has zero bearing on how he feels about you, it's just an outlet for fantasy. Maybe think about working together to live out some of both of your fantasies through role play or whatever, this could be an opportunity to really rekindle your partnership if you work together.
 
ilikestims said:
i am well versed with gary wilson and marnia robinson. since you're citing that talk as a source (and i would agree it's a great source), then you will likely be interested in knowing that they say it is a problem in "moderation."

not everything should be used in "moderation." everything in moderation, including moderation. sometimes you need absolutely 0 of something in order to be healthful.
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Not everyone wants to be completely healthful though. People still smoke, people still eat McDonalds and people are still gonna watch porn. Trying to fight against it is futile. You have to accept that it's going to be a part of the world whether it's a good thing or not. I mean what do you suggest as a solution? People have a natural inclination to seek out sexual stimulus.

You can't eradicate every damaging thing from the world.
 
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