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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The EADD Mental Health Support Thread

The last thing i asked for was Wellbutrin. I can get it elsewhere, and alternate that with my modanifil. The Wellbutrin also helps a lot of people stop smoking by blocking off the nicotine receptor which would also come in useful. All this takes the pressure off. But yeah, i think I'll ask to see another doctor next time. I'll get advice from my workers about how to ask for the continuation of my Mirt script. The problem is that ive already told the doctor it wasnt really working, that was before i realised how much it was helping me with my benzos.

But my doctor is such a jobsworth that she'll probably say "Mirtazapine is not licenced as an aid to benzo withdrawal so im not comfortable with that". I dunno if im being unfair on her but ive lost my good will towards her and that is going to rebound on me. I'll have to change docs.

She used to be very compassionate and caring before she knew about my drugs problems. Substance misuse is supposed to be her area of special interest. Im pretty sure that special interest is just academic as she doesnt extend much help to real world druggies if my treatment by her is anything to go by.
 
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Best to change if you've lost faith and don't feel you have a good relationship, I am crap at talking about my mental health problems I tried to raise it with one GP twice, plucking up the courage to say I had been feeling very low but he didn't even register.

When things got bad I booked an appointment with an older female doctor Mrs A had seen, I don't know what would have happened to me if it hadn't been for her. Within 20 minutes she had managed to get me to open up about my drinking, my drug abuse and my desperate depression, she gave me her mobile number to call and sorted loads of stuff out for me.

Is there an other doctor at the same surgery you could try ?
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Im gonna have a battle with Bupe. The battle to stick to 2mg a day and then start reducing is one i am not yet managing to win. I almost did it today, but i got into a worried state about my Mirt script and that worry was not going away. That was my excuse for flaking out today, and taking an extra big 4mg chunk this evening.
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The fact that 4mg doesn't make you violently ill is worrying. Sounds like you've built up a tolerance.

Addiction to a strong opioid is going to massively disrupt any constructive steps you're going to take. Consider going two days without any bupe at all, see if that throws you into unbearable WD or not. Just a short experiment to see if you can go without.
 
first steps taken stopped claiming dole for now so that I can not score , the constant stim psychosis then come down then crave and sobriety of the last 9 years or so have just about taken its tole to a point of murderous and suicidal ends hopefully a month away for the drugs will allow me to calm down the urge to these things maybe a new doctor is need as well one that understands what the hell ive been taking and what its done to me .

14 years of basically living in a room alone no real human contact other than the everyday meeting like to sign on get the bus don't help with this but I guess one step at a time
 
Good luck fg. I didn't know you were so isolated but it definitely sounds like the loneliness and the stims are a terrible combination.... would be for anyone I'm sure. What steps can you take to get more social contact into your life?
 
basically spent nearly all my life alone the brief parts where I have human contact nasty really nasty things have happened from child abuse to getting raped so I really do not feel to comfy in public unless altered by drink or drugs think is more a matter of getting the habits and mental stability under control at the minute before I end upfront page news :)

and thank you jancrow
 
Ah, I was going to say that perhaps you needed to throw yourself into a completely different lifestyle but definitely sounds like something you'd want to do gradually based on what you said. Have you got any health service support?
 
lurching said:
The fact that 4mg doesn't make you violently ill is worrying. Sounds like you've built up a tolerance.

Addiction to a strong opioid is going to massively disrupt any constructive steps you're going to take. Consider going two days without any bupe at all, see if that throws you into unbearable WD or not. Just a short experiment to see if you can go without.
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i have built up a tolerance. The only good thing is that i havent been using it all that long. The nothing for 2 days is too big a step to take. Im gonna try again today just to stick to 2mg in the morning. If i can stabilise on that for a week or so, then i can think about reducing.
 
jancrow said:
Ah, I was going to say that perhaps you needed to throw yourself into a completely different lifestyle but definitely sounds like something you'd want to do gradually based on what you said. Have you got any health service support?
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no I haven't basically my doctor has in their heads that I am drug seeking been sectioned twice for trying to kill my self only on the second time to end up slitting my wrist on lsd and needing to brought back to life not nice really mad that one
 
Hmm, don't know what services are available where you live but perhaps it would be worth getting some sort of formal mental health support, particularly to help deal with getting used to going outside and socialising. I know your precise circumstances are unique but the isolation is probably a more common problem than one would expect and there's got to be some kind of process or system to make it easier. Pehaps you should tell your docs you're cleaning up and see what they can do for you as if you're already labeled as a drug seeker it can't get much worse? Just suggestions, I haven't been around much lately so sorry if it has already been suggested / tried / ruled out.
 
foolsgold said:
first steps taken stopped claiming dole for now so that I can not score , the constant stim psychosis then come down then crave and sobriety of the last 9 years or so have just about taken its tole to a point of murderous and suicidal ends hopefully a month away for the drugs will allow me to calm down the urge to these things maybe a new doctor is need as well one that understands what the hell ive been taking and what its done to me .

14 years of basically living in a room alone no real human contact other than the everyday meeting like to sign on get the bus don't help with this but I guess one step at a time
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im sorry to tell you but i dont think you'll find any doctor that knows about research chemicals. I go to a big inner city practice and not one of them has a single fuckin clue about any of it. They are all like "how do you spell etizolam ? " 8)

On the more positive side they should be able to refer you to some support groups or 1 -1 workers for your problems though. Ask them to do this for you. It really will help you. It might feel like a big step to take, but it will help if the dr refers you to a suitable place.

You could say you need some support for your drugs or mental health problems, and ask the doctor if theres any organisations s/he can refer you to for a whole range of services from mental health support to drug problems. (If you live in a big town or city, im not sure what services are availaable if you live in a small town but there should be something somewhere that can helkp you)

Its extremely bad for mental health to be so isolated. I know this from experience. And with your drug taking on top, all the noids in the quantity you take them and the stims wont be doing you any good.

I know you could say "thats rich coming from you" and it would be true, but I am only trying to help.
 
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ColtDan said:
MDB what do you look liked
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what do you mean ?

There's a few pics of me in the "pics of yourself" thread.

I look 'normal'. After seeing my pics many people said that i looked far more respectable and normal than theyd imagined. I dont know what kind of impression i make through my posts - it seems people expect me to look like some sort of crack head or something, but i really dont. (but i recognise the last month or so ive been very aggressive, paranoid and defensive. I can see that now, and my mental state is myuch better. It was definately the 2g of phenazepam binging that fucked me over. I swear im never buying 2g of that ever again. Probably wont even buy another small 100 mg bag either. I didnt realise that phen' was 4 times stronger than etiz, that was half the problem right there, as i was constantly over consuming the stuff)

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/...o-you-look-like-v-XII?p=11628403#post11628403

those are some pics of me when i was about your age. Ive also posted some earlier ones when i had a 'gothic' hair style, and some later ones after id been on a 48 hour pv binge, and some others of me during a period when i wasnt using any drugs.
 
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jancrow said:
Hmm, don't know what services are available where you live but perhaps it would be worth getting some sort of formal mental health support, particularly to help deal with getting used to going outside and socialising. I know your precise circumstances are unique but the isolation is probably a more common problem than one would expect and there's got to be some kind of process or system to make it easier. Pehaps you should tell your docs you're cleaning up and see what they can do for you as if you're already labeled as a drug seeker it can't get much worse? Just suggestions, I haven't been around much lately so sorry if it has already been suggested / tried / ruled out.
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thank you and no its not new but its stil nice to see some one take an interest in health and wellbeing

mydrugbuddy said:
im sorry to tell you but i dont think you'll find any doctor that knows about research chemicals. I go to a big inner city practice and not one of them has a single fuckin clue about any of it. They are all like "how do you spell etizolam ? " 8)

On the more positive side they should be able to refer you to some support groups or 1 -1 workers for your problems though. Ask them to do this for you. It really will help you. It might feel like a big step to take, but it will help if the dr refers you to a suitable place.

You could say you need some support for your drugs or mental health problems, and ask the doctor if theres any organisations s/he can refer you to for a whole range of services from mental health support to drug problems. (If you live in a big town or city, im not sure what services are availaable if you live in a small town but there should be something somewhere that can helkp you)

Its extremely bad for mental health to be so isolated. I know this from experience. And with your drug taking on top, all the noids in the quantity you take them and the stims wont be doing you any good.

I know you could say "thats rich coming from you" and it would be true, but I am only trying to help.
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how this for you went to a drugs concealing centre in York got sat down started listing all this chemicals to an ex junky who was my concealer he had a clue next thing I find out he is in to them big time as well so how that for a fuck up :)

but every time I used something like compass its o so no stimulants then and im like you fucking what I've just listed about half a dozen of them o this mcat then no its not that shit and end up walking out then the drug seeking thing comes up again because ive stormed off so they claim its because ive not got any meds
 
mydrugbuddy said:
what do you mean ?

There's a few pics of me in the "pics of yourself" thread.

I look 'normal'. After seeing my pics many people said that i looked far more respectable and normal than theyd imagined. I dont know what kind of impression i make through my posts - it seems people expect me to look like some sort of crack head or something, but i really dont. (but i recognise the last month or so ive been very aggressive, paranoid and defensive. I can see that now, and my mental state is myuch better. It was definately the 2g of phenazepam binging that fucked me over. I swear im never buying 2g of that ever again. Probably wont even buy another small 100 mg bag either. I didnt realise that phen' was 4 times stronger than etiz, that was half the problem right there, as i was constantly over consuming the stuff)

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/...o-you-look-like-v-XII?p=11628403#post11628403

those are some pics of me when i was about your age. Ive also posted some earlier ones when i had a 'gothic' hair style, and some later ones after id been on a 48 hour pv binge, and some others of me during a period when i wasnt using any drugs.
Click to expand...

me and you must be around the same age except you went to collage and got all baggie I was a metal head till 96 then fuck knows how to describe it .

now skin head hoodies trainers jeans
 
foolsgold said:
me and you must be around the same age except you went to collage and got all baggie I was a metal head till 96 then fuck knows how to describe it .

now skin head hoodies trainers jeans
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Narh i never got all baggy myself, i hated that look. Especially on people who kept wearing them well after that trend had come and gone. I was just a jeans and check shirts type of fella. Im 42. You as old as that ?
 
been struggling with social anxiety for a while now.

I don't know if it's drug induced or what, but I feel on edge and paranoid a lot of time. I sometimes have to have a drink before I do something social, in particular when seeing my girlfriend I have to have a few beers beforehand, and maybe a few while I'm at hers.

I realized the other day that the reason cocaine makes me feel so good is because It just makes me feel fucking normal, like I'm alright you know, like I can talk to people and it's fine, not everyone hates me, i'm worth something. Idk.

would self medicating with etizolam help? Just want to feel normal.

and sorry if this post comes across as attention seeking, not my intention.
 
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