Strange Habits

[knock]

A properly crimped and released torpedo will not disturb the water.

 

[jancrow]

Buckshot will though.

 

[Hangover]

I don't have time to make a landing strip

If water splashes up... then its better for wiping

 

[jancrow]

I will make a spider web of paper to break the trajectory of my bot rockets if I have time.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I also push the toilet roll slightly up my bum to get in propa nice n clean after a shit.

Arf!! (Visions of you stuffing the whole roll up your arse to get a squeeky clean finish)

 

[parttime crackhead]

Knock uses the brush. Toilet paper just doesn't cut it anymore for old slack bum.

 

[Bodda]

PTCH - I spat my mouth full of tea out my nose from laughing on reading that.

 

[knock]

There's nothing loose about my ring, although I'm flattered you're thinking about how tight it would be

 

[mydrugbuddy]

I love it when i have a nice clean shit, one that comes out without leaving a trace.

Sticky, nasty shits, on the other hand are a different matter all together and involve a minor operation to sort out.

Several sheets of toilet paper are used to exgavate the worst of it whilst still sitting on the throne. Then i get down on my knees to open my anus wider and using six sheets of toilet paoer i fold them in half and spit on the end of the folded sheets at the folded part (spit works better than water). Then the moistened folded part gets shoved up the ring piece as far as it will go and evertything is wiped around.

This process is repeated until the paper comes out spotlessly clean. The "cleaning up a nasty sticky shit" operation can take so long, that most people assume im having a wank. Sometimes it's less emberassing to let them believe that, than to explain the actual truth. Or sometimes i just say "Sorry, I just had a really nasty, sticky shit".

 

[ColtDan]

thats not really a strange habit, thats more of a detailed ass wiping procedure

 

[cdin]

any time im reading a REALLY good book i eat a little piece of the paper, to you know, have some of a great work inside me? i dunno, nice texture tho that book paper.

 

[knock]

thats not really a strange habit, thats more of a detailed ass wiping procedure

I think the spitting qualifies it as strange. Are you strange too?

 

[ColtDan]

Haha define normal. we're all a bit nuts. life is crazy

 

[lurching]

any time im reading a REALLY good book i eat a little piece of the paper, to you know, have some of a great work inside me? i dunno, nice texture tho that book paper.

i went thru a phase where i had that with people

 

[mydrugbuddy]

if i get a letter from my bank or something with my account number on it, I'll tear that tiny segment out and chew it up until no one would evger be able to read it, and then chuck it in the bin.

I'll try and find a different bin for the other part of the letter.

Now that must qualify ?

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

Undoubtedly.

 

[adam west]

left trainer/shoe always on before right
if i go into someones house and sit on their sofa i always go the furthest end from the entrance (if that makes sense)
add up my shopping total on my phone when shopping for a few bits to save the possibility of ever being caught short
erm on the bog roll thing yeah ive used a newspaper whn times were tough, although these days i usually have kitchen roll on hand for just this very emergency

theres loads more i just cant think. i kind of veer towards strange when it comes to choices and tastes etc

 

[manboychef]

This thread has evolved into a description of our ass whipping habits/rituals(as mdb has stated)

For the record I use a live kitten dipped in aloe.

 

[velmwend]

Alongside tea and weed pipe, ass wiping ritual is one of life's pleasures

 

[velmwend]

The only strange habit I have is when I get up in the morning: my head must touch the floor before the rest of my body.