poledriver
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2005
- Messages
- 11,543
Seven reasons why life is better with booze
1. Your health gets better. Rich in vitamins: nutritionists who say alcohol consumption robs the body of much-needed vitamins and minerals are missing the point. According to "consultants" I have met on bar stools, Stolichnaya and other clear spirits made from grains are high in Vitamin V. Add a twist of lime and it's dangerously close to being a health tonic.
2. Your looks improve - and so do everyone else's. Call it beer goggles. Listen to the words of the song There Ain't No Ugly People After 2am. Romance is born over a few drinks and blossoms after many more. Ask your parents, ask any happy couple - did they get together over a cuppa?
3. Easy to maintain your weight. The perfect diet: Bud light and a BLT. Weight's not a problem, just don't eat much. Once while I was living in New York, I managed to lose 10kg prior to my wedding. My regime: one BLT sandwich a day and endless beer - all the food groups. OK, so it was diet beer but I was out having fun, not sitting at home in my small New York flat sifting through my hope chest.
4. You have more time to get stuff done. Actually, it's a case of having less time to fill in. No more endless nights trawling through your old life and plenty of productive time in the pub - cocktail in hand - meeting new contacts and connecting with people in a way you just can't do on the internet.
5. Bartenders, a spiritual relationship. It's still sunny outside, but you are in the deep dark womb of the bar with the bartender silently polishing glasses. You may be talking, you may be in companionable silence. It's almost a holy experience, like with your priest in the confessional only less tortured.
6. You find out who you (and others) really are. Apart from in vino veritas, where everyone's true nature is drawn out by the genie in the bottle, there are other telling signs of pub etiquette that are more useful than character analysis. He always avoids a shout? He's mean, drop him. She flirts with the rest of the bar? Trash her. As much as non-drinking is said to be good for the heart and the liver, it's that other organ, the in-built s--t detector, that is enhanced by alcohol. Trust it with your every decision.
Cont -
Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/he...ze/story-fneuz9ev-1226699269783#ixzz2cJ0bkRkl
1. Your health gets better. Rich in vitamins: nutritionists who say alcohol consumption robs the body of much-needed vitamins and minerals are missing the point. According to "consultants" I have met on bar stools, Stolichnaya and other clear spirits made from grains are high in Vitamin V. Add a twist of lime and it's dangerously close to being a health tonic.
2. Your looks improve - and so do everyone else's. Call it beer goggles. Listen to the words of the song There Ain't No Ugly People After 2am. Romance is born over a few drinks and blossoms after many more. Ask your parents, ask any happy couple - did they get together over a cuppa?
3. Easy to maintain your weight. The perfect diet: Bud light and a BLT. Weight's not a problem, just don't eat much. Once while I was living in New York, I managed to lose 10kg prior to my wedding. My regime: one BLT sandwich a day and endless beer - all the food groups. OK, so it was diet beer but I was out having fun, not sitting at home in my small New York flat sifting through my hope chest.
4. You have more time to get stuff done. Actually, it's a case of having less time to fill in. No more endless nights trawling through your old life and plenty of productive time in the pub - cocktail in hand - meeting new contacts and connecting with people in a way you just can't do on the internet.
5. Bartenders, a spiritual relationship. It's still sunny outside, but you are in the deep dark womb of the bar with the bartender silently polishing glasses. You may be talking, you may be in companionable silence. It's almost a holy experience, like with your priest in the confessional only less tortured.
6. You find out who you (and others) really are. Apart from in vino veritas, where everyone's true nature is drawn out by the genie in the bottle, there are other telling signs of pub etiquette that are more useful than character analysis. He always avoids a shout? He's mean, drop him. She flirts with the rest of the bar? Trash her. As much as non-drinking is said to be good for the heart and the liver, it's that other organ, the in-built s--t detector, that is enhanced by alcohol. Trust it with your every decision.
Cont -
Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/he...ze/story-fneuz9ev-1226699269783#ixzz2cJ0bkRkl
