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what a goosd excuse for mnot searcinmg for any jobs until day 14 of your job search

knock said:
I love you MDB and so do many others here. your behaviour is objectively a matter for concern thuogh. Please continue with tapers, seriously, and check in at reg intervals. :) <3
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knock i am very fond of you too for some reason though we have never even met. My nehabiour over the last week has admittedly been concerning. I apologise for all i did wrong that was beyond my control.

What did i do yesterday though ? Neglect type a 100% perfecty presented paragrpah ? That was it ? I cant believe it, or you !!! ?

Serioulsu im very upset and confused and baffled about what is wrong with that, if i spot a typing error i will correct it.

Is that OK with everyone ! ?>

This forum is caising me too much stress when it should be having the contra effect. Out out of sheer bloody midndeness im not going be driven away by the "Magnificent 7" and any others who have taken a stance of hatred towards me (not including you of cours knock) though like i say i being bollocked for some bad typing ?

I repeat again as i cant belive the ridiculusness of it - i did nothing wrong yesterday except commit a few mortal typos. All my post were carefully thouight through and rational, and i did the 'empathy' thing - 'hoiw would this sound to you if you were to receive this" NADA

NOT TO BLAME

im serriousy committed to my tyapers now.nenzoz doen from 30/50 to 18 last might. I'll be on 15 by the end of the week. If i could be granted one wish, it would be for people to understand i had one out of charcacter drug induved bad day. Do i have to be nannied from here in on due to that.

Last thing i want to do is fall out with you knock.
 
All of what Knock said, man! Wishing you all the best with your taper and looking forward to having a happier you around the place soon.
 
knock said:
I love you MDB and so do many others here. your behaviour is objectively a matter for concern thuogh. Please continue with tapers, seriously, and check in at reg intervals. :) <3
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As i mentioned by PM, i hope it has become apparent that ive improved significantly over the last day or 2. I dont blame anyone for feeling the way they do about the week before. Let me just say i wont be doing that again. My tapers are going very well. Way ahead of any plan. In fact scared of pushing them too fast. I'll know when to put the breaks on though.

i did go throuigh 1 very low point during the epoisode, but ill be happy to keep on popping in to annoy you lol

seriusly, the dramas over, even most of the film crew hav gone home. You wont know they were even there soon.

highest regards

A
 
jancrow said:
All of what Knock said, man! Wishing you all the best with your taper and looking forward to having a happier you around the place soon.
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thankyou jan, happyness is bit of a push just yet lol, but stabilty and getting all my substances under proper control is well under way. The firts few days have been extremely successfull. i have a new key worker who thinks the sme wy as me as things (i dont mean shes bat shit crazy lol), but in priactical ways, like me recording me weekly usage and discussing it with her every week will help a lot.

Shes very fit and nice with it so i dont wanna disapont her. Of course i have to this for myself though.

I deeply appreciate any supportive messages posted here. Happyness will retrurn. Im still rather on edge. a wee bit paranoid, and short triggered but that is all imoproving by the day.
 
With benzos isnt it the same as high dose opiates? As in its possible to taper from high doses quickly, say if you're on 20mg etiz reduce 2mg a week to about 5mg, without putting your health in danger like if you cold turkeyed (seizures etc)? Or is it much more tricky & dangerous than opis, I went from a v high dose of diaz to a more reasonable dose without too much discomfort, just wondering if its safe to taper down quite quickly at first or if i was just lucky?
__

Best of luck luck MDB its no easy thing to come off em i know full well, but on those doses you seem to be destroying ya mental health its massively the lesser of 2 evils
 
youre right about the destroying mental healt thing ! hopefully ive been sent a "warning" (in the form of the benzo rage mneltdown thing) just in time. Im gaining and making huge progress to cut them down and have aleady gone from around 40 mg a day to 18. Ailimg for ten not too far way. It might strart gtting difficult below 5, bue ill croiss that bridge when i get to it.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
As I said earlier - phenaz fucks up my motor skills and it takes 2 - 14 days for me to recover them (it ties my fingers in knots and i cant find the right buttons on the k/b).
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It's not just you mate - the insane (72hr) half-life of phenaz means that redosing over the course of a few days builds up a ridiculous amount in the body which can take up to a fortnight to expel. I personally couldn't even spell my name for about a week after my last dose - needless to say I got sacked from my job for being a 'phenazepam retard'. 'Tis just the nature of the beast....
 
One Thousand Words said:
Quoted for lols
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"oh quoted for lols" that someone may have come very close being carted opff to thje mental hospital for TheIr 2nd mental breakdown because they temporarily lost the plot. And as they recover they are struggling bit to see which thoughts are reak a nd whicgh arent. But isnt the whole thing such a alaugh, I can raelly see the funny side in that, isnmt it absollutely hilasrious. my sides sre hurting through being at stitches at laighing so hard and lomg at the pain that person must have been going through LOL. thats ll keep me laughing to the day i diie. Oits so funny.



i might have expected more off an educated person of a minority sexual persuasion but clealy your no better than the rest of the braying pack. In fact im appalled at you all the more, as one person whi should know better, looks just like one more superficial fuck who polishes the beautifil peoples teeth all day long.....how rewarding that must be.

I didnt iknow toy coulkd igniore MODS, thats a shame. Still doesnt mean i have to read a word you say though. You,you.....you......DENTIST !!!!


God its so much fun to laugh at the afflicted isnt it. Lets act like we hyagvent advandanced beyond Victotian Britrain and her Freak shoes (In reality we havven't. Lets mock the meantally ill, handicapped, deformed, crippled and drug addicts, lets laigh at all those fuck ups, lates mmake them angry. thaty even funnier to see them go mad with rage. (Loaughing at the afflicted also means you must be extyremely insecure to need to do such a thing to boost yourt own self esteeem)

very disapomited in a supposed educated and iuntelligent dentist. he hould know better, if any oif them should. he has no excuse. hes beeen notning but a twat anyway so hes hgone on ognore too. My list of sick bastards is gowing by the day. Itll be longer that ZZ tops beards soon. One day il be left with a list of decent people who i can talk to inteliggently without fear of mockery or ridicule.

The mentality of this country has gone back to the tribal dark ages. I feel sorry that the last genereation have had such an appaliing education. TYhey clearly know fuck all about fuck all.
 
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F.U.B.A.R. said:
It's not just you mate - the insane (72hr) half-life of phenaz means that redosing over the course of a few days builds up a ridiculous amount in the body which can take up to a fortnight to expel. I personally couldn't even spell my name for about a week after my last dose - needless to say I got sacked from my job for being a 'phenazepam retard'. 'Tis just the nature of the beast....
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Thankyou so much for admitting that !!!!!!! <3<3

You dont know how much it means to me to hear that someone else out there actually REALLY understands having been through it themselves.. :D

I take it youre all A OK now though mate ?

The previous post had me back in desopair but you have liftyed me right back up again.

i dont think ill be on here much tooday "the Magnificent Seven" and their Dentist ring leader seem quite active atm. Lokks kliike a very good time for me to fuck offf and leave then writing posts to each other that im nvere going to read.

NONE OF THEM ARE EVER COMING OFF IGNORE - JUST SO THEY ARE CLEAR ON THAT. :)=D%)


Every new person i add to ignore makes me fgeel better. It's verty therapertic. Like being a sniper picking off Daily Mail readers one by one LOL. It means there is one less shitty person in the world every time i click ignore rather than actually having to kill them, and one less shitty persdon that will never be able to get to me again. =D

I thank you God for what you have given us today. I pray for those less fortunate than ourselves, and i am trying my own daily exercices of the will and imagination, that make me more grateful for what i have. <3
 
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I am discovering that i have far more strength and moral fibre insdide myself than i ever knew i had. That comes from my Mother.

I also thank my good friends past and present and the great people i had the privelege to meet growing up for that, and for all the other good things in life.

Today is a day for gratitude, and sorting out my finances (bleurgh)

But mistkly its a day for getting off BL completely for a while. Id love to keep in touch eih the good folk that ar to be found here, shouild any of thenm wish to plzfwd your face book or email to my in box thankyou.

When you cant even speak on a forum cos an educated MOD mocks those less fortunate than himself then im afraiud something has gone very wrong and ive lost even more faith in the place.

There are some great mods here too, nd plenty of gret 'mere mortals' iths been a priviledge to gt know them a bit. i wont embarrass them by naming them

Chrissssssssssssst i sssssssssssssound the like the ex-archbissshop of fuckin caterbury. dunno why im being sssssssssssssso pompoussssssssssssss today, maybe cosssssssssss its the only bit of writing I'll be doing on thesssssssssssssse public threadssssssss for a whilke.
 
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